• Member Since 17th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen June 2nd

Lightning Farron

It's not a question of can of can't. There are some things in life you just do.


It all started with a single question Starlight Glimmer posed during dinner: Is it possible to kill an alicorn? Princess Twilight recruits her student, her assistant, and the Lord of Chaos himself to investigate this question thoroughly.

Many thanks to Mewrilah and Terabyte West for editing and pre-reading!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 451 )

If you want any suggestions I'd be happy to provide a few!


Any suggestions you have would be welcome and I'm eager to hear them!

Oh Starlight is going to need ALOT of therapy after this. Oh I just suggest the method of oxygen deprivation or put Twilight with piranha or sharks in a huge bucket. Just a suggestion.:pinkiehappy:

magical drain
soul removal
botched resurrection
the possibilities!

Suggestion: Nuke
Where they are going to get a nuke? Discord, nuff said.

♫ Take 'em down in a fight, Twilight
Acid fumes are kind of stinky, Pinkie
Pins given in charity, Rarity
Lighting does it in a flash, Dash
Bears claw out an eye, Fluttershy
Poison their hardtack, Applejack
There must be fifty ways to kill your alicorns♫

Dissolved in acid.
Eaten by manticores.
Sent to the Mirror Pool.

Will there be any plot here, or just repeated deaths ala Hard Reset?

Also, I think I ship Twilight x Resurrection Angel now. They're getting to know each other very well.

7819176 Or a Megaspell similar to the one that Zebrica used on Canterlot during the great war in Fallout Equestria.

Is she becoming immune to the various effects as she experiences them? Twilight is Apocalypse...

She stabs herself and thus becomes immune to weapons. She gets shot with cannons and thus becomes immune to further cannon shots.

Fire worked briefly, but was eventually not an issue and thus lava became worthless too. Cold was to slow and she developed immunity to it. Granted... Drowning/Asphyxiation are the same thing really so maybe not?


Being thrown through mountains didn't work, so perhaps getting hit by something at sonic rainboom speeds?

What about a magical overload? Like, say, being dumped with a metric ton of magical energy, perhaps Chaos Magic?

7819305 Doomsday!! DOOMSDAY!!!

Also it seems that any attack that deprives alicorn of oxygen will kill it...Jesus I've just figured out the perfect plan to kill an Alicorn.

Burn all of the oxygen around it...

How about thermal shock? Or putting her in a trash compactor? Do those even exist in Equestria? I just realized that if you take any of my suggestions, I'd technically be assisting the death of Twilight...Tis a strange thought.

Getting shot with firearms, lasers, plasma, Red Cloud, radiation, Flux, stabbed with starmetal... all ala Fallout: Equestria

Also I wanna know more about this angel.

... OK, yea, I'm on board with that.
Could we get a name for her?

Interesting way to start the story, and I liked the simplistic way Discord described saving their lives.

Let's see what you do with this.

7819485 Right.... Doomsday... sorry. I'm not that big a comic buff.

Internal bleeding might be a thing? Have her eat some sufficiently large diamond shards or broken glass.

The following day found the quartet in the Frozen North. They’d stopped by the Crystal Empire to check in with Cadance, Shining Armor, and Flurry Heart. Much like themselves, Shining Armor had spent most of the previous day reluctantly hurling spears at his wife. Twilight had been sympathetic as they not only had a foal but they also lacked a failsafe system to rely on in case things went south.

Wait, what? They proceeded with testing with the risk that one of them would die and be unable to be revived? That's...that doesn't make any damn sense. Why would they do that? I can understand Twilight, but the others?

Also, the revival thing is able to be taught and isn't a unique spell by Discord? Why the hell isn't this going world wide or why hasn't it been utilized heavily before?

Sorry, these seem like significant plot holes that threw me right the hell out of the story.

They’d also learned that Celestia had asked Cadence to perform the exercise with Flurry Heart. This was where the parents, Twilight, and Luna drew the line. Celestia didn’t push the issue. She knew when to stand down: she didn’t like her odds fighting off her niece, her sister, her pupil, and her nephew in law in a fight.


Is this tyrant or evil Celestia? Why would she willingly want to subject a foal-a freaking baby-to trauma that will likely cause it agonizing pain when multiple adults are trying the same thing, especially without a revival spell on hand? I see no other possible reason that Celestia would do this unless she is inexplicably evil or utterly lacking in compassion or empathy for others' pain, especially the young.

Finally, why would Twilight try asphyxiation by lack of air and drowning? Pardon me if I'm wrong, but aren't both of those functionally the same; i.e. a lack of oxygen? She just repeated the same experiment, more or less.



Various end-stage metastatic cancers?

Radiation sickness?

The 'Beetus?

Teleportation of bodyparts or organs outside the body.
Everyone will need therapy after that one.

Sleep Deprivation

Blood loss



Body rearanged /Wrong teleport



Extremely high gravity

This is realy hard to think of things let me know if any are good lol

Here's one! Dismemberment! Or a nuke. Oh! And what about good old fashioned blood loss! Ooo! How about TNT?!

The possibilities!!!

Hmmm I wonder how gassing her would go. Ammonia, bleach, and a toilet?

Or how about Sub Sonic vibrations

Somehow microwaving her?

Medieval torture devices?

Injecting air into her blood?

Errr that's all I can think of short of molten lead/ gold much like lord of the rings but hey didn't one guy die by playing video games for 3 days straight? Wouldn't hurt right? Lol

Really enjoying the story so far, as for suggestion how about 1.diabetes, 2.digestion/acid or 3.dragons teeth(considering they can easily break diamonds) and i can't think of a specific name for it but how about 4.turning twilight into something else then destroy it somehow( for example use the turn into an orange spell on her and juicing her, or that spell she used to try to get Moon Dancer to listen to her by appearing in her book and then shredding the page or something.) 5.Petrify her with a cockatrice then smash her. 6.getting hit by a sonic rainboom. 7.Being pulled apart. 8.Run over by a train.

Not sure I agree with some of the results, since Luna lived on the moon.

Idea: Twilight gets Pinkie Pie to play the brown noise with a tuba. Something Pinkie had promised to never do again.

Hmmm, let's see.

High explosives?
Explosive decompression?
Disintegration spell?
Baked Bads?
The World's Funniest Joke?

as i read it, the weapons and ammunition that phased through or broke on contact were part of Castle Friendship's automagically generated armory which is an embarrasing oversight on the testing procedures.

How about this methods?
-Turn her into a vampire then ate her some garlics
-"the loudest sound ever heard from those dazzilngs"
-Stabbed by another unicorn horn
-Death note

Limb hyper-extension (pulled apart), Decapation, incredible weight (crushing), Diseases, incredibly fast speeds (Mach 2 Mach 3 etc.) Stoning (not sure if it counts as blut force), Crusifixtion, Swallowing Fireworks (thank you 'The Many Deaths of RD') Acidic Chemicals, Over Stimlation, (also known as heart explosions).

“Nah, my brother’s spearing Cadance,” Twilight replied.

Well, of course he is, how do you think Princess McFlurry was made?:twilightsmile:

Also, you do realise that what works and what doesn't isn't making a lick of sense, right?

Why do I get the feeling that at the end of this Discord's gonna not bring the angel back and he'll be like: "#1 way to kill an alicorn. Discord."

lol Twilight sure gonna need some time with a shrink (same with the others) once everything is done lol.

oh i go some ideas.

getting inflated until she pops like balloon.
forcefeeding until she blows up.

um... can you die by getting extremely excited like endless orgasms thats keeps on building and dont give the body any rest before another one comes?

hmm maybe invite Chryssi so she can get a chance to kill Twilight by.... lets say draining all her love etc

7820472 That 2nd option...

There is something very twisted about you.

uhhhhh........death by blood loss?

Twilight gave him a deadpanned look. What did he take her for? An amateur skydiver? Pfft.

Isn't that how she got her wings in the first place?

“I know. That’s why I wrote a letter to her explaining what I was doing. Hopefully she’ll understand where I’m coming from. If she doesn’t… well I’ll figure it out afterward.”

That would be a death attempt of his own: "Anger Princess Luna."

How seroius or ridiculous should our suggestions be?
For example, what about "Death by clogged toilet" or "Eat Celestia's last slice of cake right in front of her"?

By the way: Did you know this is today at the top of the Feature Box?

Found two small errors:

for the week.

year and we really


Stupidity Induced Aneurysm from either a badly written book, a bad movie, or a bad game...

Here are 10 I came up with:

1) Dying of confusion (cue the "Why do the vampires in Twilight sparkle?" meme)
2) Death by chocolate (just for shits and giggles)
3) Death by rat (put the rat in a container on her stomach and heat it, making the rat eat its way out through her)

4) Death by disembowlment (cue Pinkamena)
5) Death by estrus (cast a spell to prevent her from releasing)
6) Death by torture rack (ripped in half)
7) Death by Pegasus Device (block her magic and she is technically a pegasus)

8) Death by The Smooz (edit: that will just make her a Changeling Queen...unless that counts as a death)

9) Death by extreme force (crushed under a large weight)

10) Sent to Tartarus

I think drawing and asphyxiate are the same thing...So lack of oxygen can kill Alicorn. Maybe we should cut off the method that involve air and oxygen by now...

And...Not sure if it's necessary. But maybe this story might need "Gore" tag by now. With every brutal violence we have so far and what we going to have in future. =w="


Eating Celestia's cake IN FRONT OF HER!?!?

that is an INSTANT death wish

Doesn't the failsafe spell make this all pointless? If there is a spell that can revive Twilight, every time she dies, then she can't really die, can she?

It would be funny to see a chapter somewhere down the line, after months of testing and deaths, where they realize that it has all been completely useless.

Well, that is the idea behind it.

Starlight better hope that Twilight don't realize she needs control samples for these tests to be sure. Wouldn't be very useful if she tried to kill herself with something that wouldn't kill a normal pony.

And she should try hanging, doing it right will snap your neck... do it wrong and you will asphyxiate.

Mfw this doesn't sit well with my headcanon about Twilight being a god :trixieshiftleft:

I know that Twilight is just trolling around and if she would actually die the angel would probably send her back to life anyways :scootangel:

Digestion might be a good one to test.


Hm, with blades apparently being out of the question we loose a lot of opportunities. I'd like to suggest things like decapitation and skinning, but those are out based on the fact that standard blades won't cut her. We might be able to get around that by having something try eating her (hey Spike, can you bite the side of my head off?), but I doubt that would work either based on how similar it is to blades.

My best bet for getting around that would be to try to pull her body apart mechanically by doing something like tying a rope around her neck at the base of the skull and a second rope around her shoulders and giving it a really good pull to try to rip her head off since we can't cut it off.

Another idea would be having her eat a big mess of explosives to see if the blast will blow her body apart.

Also, I think this would work a lot better if you made it a bit messier. Death usually isn't neat and clean, so don't be afraid to splatter the rest of the cast with bits of Twilight, especially since it gives Discord the opportunity to do silly things with her corpse.

Water intoxication (drinking too much water can kill)
Alcohol poisoning
Severe allergic reaction
Being eaten
Scaphism (really a very horrible painful way but kind of funny)
Laughing too much
Having a horn pushed into the anus through which a red-hot iron was inserted, burning out her internal organs without marking her body
Eating too much
Infected bug bite
Vitamin overdose
A bale of hay rolling down a hill

Drain all the blood from her body. Likewise they could see which organs she can live without. Or try infecting her with various fatal diseases.

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