The Pie Sisters
Pinkie’s face went from blue to purple. “… until the ticking tick-tock talkers talked and took a look and snuck in the tick tock nook of the tick tock talker’s talking book.” She sucked in a full breath of air, the colour of her face returning to normal.
Everyone in the dimly-lit café snapped their fingers. One person in the back let out a low whistle.
“Did she just do that all in one breath?” Greg whispered across the table to Tracy. “That was like a full minute!”
Tracy nodded, snapping with the crowd. “Yes, that was impressive.” She leaned forward to whisper to Marble Pie as she scratched her ear. “Your sister is very talented.”
Marble nodded. “Mm-hmm.”
Pinkie trotted down from the microphone and sat back down at her table next to Greg. She laid a hoof on Marble’s shoulder. “See? That wasn’t so bad,” she said. “They all finger-clapped for me! Everyhuman that comes here is just really supportive and nice and non-judge-y and just wants to have a good time. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Marble looked down and away, rubbing her shoulder.
“Aw, it’s okay,” Pinkie said, pulling her twin sister in for a side-hug. “You can always try another day. We’re here for as long as you want!”
Marble shook her head, sinking further behind her hair.
“I don’t think she’s interested,” Tracy said, smiling at Marble. “Don’t worry, dear. You don’t have to sing if you don’t want to. I can keep petting you if you like.”
Marble emerged from her hair and nodded.
Tracy leaned in, keeping her voice low and calm. “Well, sweetie, you said you live on a farm, is that right? What kind of a farm?”
Marble looked down at the ground, but slowly brought her eyes up to meet Tracy’s. As she opened her mouth to speak, Pinkie jumped forward. “It’s a rock farm! We grow rocks and we tend to them and we wait until the crystals and gems grow inside and then we break them open at harvest season and—”
“With all due respect, dear,” Tracy said, gently pushing Pinkie back into her seat. “I was asking Marble, here. Why don’t you and Greg talk about something? I’m sure you can find something to talk about.”
“You bet we can!” Pinkie almost fell over leaning towards Greg on her forehooves. “Greg, quick, gimme something to talk about.”
Greg paused mid-pet. “Uh, that poem you did was impressive.”
“Thanks!” Pinkie bounced in her chair. “I just like how fun some words sound, you know? Twilight taught me all about alliterations and assonances and onomonomonopoeias and…”
As Pinkie rattled on and Greg petted, doing his best to follow, Tracy scooted her chair up and ran her fingers through Marble’s mane. “Now, where were we? You live on a rock farm, you say. How do you like it there?”
Marble brushed her hair aside, mumbling something.
Tracy leaned in closer. “I’m sorry, I must be losing my hearing. Say that again?”
Marble leaned in closer too. “It’s nice.”
“Good, good,” Tracy said, scratching her ear. “Glad to hear it.”
Marble smiled, leaning in to Tracy’s hand.
~ ~ ~
“Stop!”
Drake pulled his hand back. “Oh? What’s wrong?”
“Not the whole hand.” Limestone scowled at Drake. She held up one hoof. “Just a finger.”
Puzzled, Drake extended his finger. “Just one?”
“Yes,” Limestone said, pointing to a spot on her shoulder. “And only right there.”
Drake’s finger slowly approached Limestone’s shoulder until it barely touched Limestone’s fur. “Is this okay?”
“Perfect. Small circular motions only.” Limestone sighed, drinking from her bottle of mountain spring water. “How’s it going, Maud?”
“Okay,” Maud said, glancing across the café at Pinkie and Marble’s table. “I feel like this isn’t a constructive use of my time.”
Limestone nodded. “Yeah, I agree, this is boring.” Limestone eyed Sam, the human petting Maud, from across the table. “Hey, you. Want to hoof wrestle?”
“What is that?” Sam said. “Like arm wrestling or something?”
“Yeah, whatever.” Limestone propped her elbow up on the table and gestured with her hoof. “You up for it or what?”
Sam looked at Maud, then slowly raised his hand to meet her hoof. “Uh, all right, sure.”
“One two three go!” Limestone yanked his hand down with a jerk, but not far enough to win yet. Sam almost jumped out of his seat, but kept his elbow on the table and pushed back.
Limestone grinned.
Sam huffed, his face growing red as Limestone kept his hand suspended three inches away from losing. He kept pushing, but he gave in and his hand thumped against the table.
“Too easy,” said Limestone, sitting back on her chair and crossing her arms. “You humans got noodles for arms or what?”
Sam shook his hand out, grimacing. “You ponies have steel pipes for arms?”
Limestone snorted. “Nah, just us Pies.” Limestone looked down at her shoulder. Her eyes went wide. “Hey!” she said. “I said one finger! When did you start using the whole hand?”
Drake froze. “During the arm wrestle.”
Limestone glared at Drake, squinting and pressing her eyebrows together. Beads of sweat formed on Drake’s forehead as he looked between Limestone and his hand on her shoulder.
Limestone frowned. “Fine. But stay on the shoulder.”
“Phew, all right,” Drake said, continuing to pet in small circular motions.
Maud slid a peanut over to Boulder. Boulder had his own seat on top of the table. “You can pet me if you like, Drake,” Maud said. “I usually let Limestone redirect all petting to me.”
Drake smiled as he massaged Limestone carefully with his hand. “Thanks, but I’m good.”
Sam lifted a sore, twitching hand to stroke Maud’s ear. “So, uh, what was that about this not being a constructive use of your time? You think petting is a waste of time?”
Maud shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t mind the petting, and I get to share my poetry once in a while here, but I have more compelling things I could be doing right now.”
Sam looked at Maud. “Such as?”
“I could be studying human rocks. I could also be comparing them to our rocks.”
“Sure sounds… compelling.” Sam rolled up his sleeve and scratched Maud’s neck. “Could bring a book on human rocks next time.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Sam pressed his lips together. “You like rocks?”
“Yes, I do.” Maud blinked.
Sam nodded. He withdrew his hand and stared at the ground. “That’s… that’s good.”
Maud took a breath in. “I see you’re trying to make small talk. Five minutes is not enough time to get to know me. I’ll give you the short version: Yes, I do talk like this all the time. I like rocks. Yes, I like more than just rocks. I like minerals, plate tectonics, stand-up comedy, and friends.” She looked down at her glass of ice water. “You can continue petting now, if you want.”
“Uh, yeah, all right.” Sam stroked Maud’s neck again. “So, not to be rude, but… why participate in the petting café? I’m curious. It sounds like you don’t want to be here.”
“I sound like that all the time, but it’s not always true.” Maud stroked Boulder. “Pinkie strongly insisted that we come, so we came.”
“Yeah,” Limestone said, “she twisted our forelegs until we agreed to come here.”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Pinkie doesn’t sound all that nice, then.”
Maud shook her head. “It’s not that. She’s very nice. She just gets excited a lot. It’s infectious. We can’t help but get just as excited as her.”
Sam chuckled. “I can tell. Well, that’s nice of you both to do it for Pinkie.”
Limestone grinned. “She’s done a lot for us, so this makes us about even.”
Maud nodded.
Limestone checked her shoulder, only to find Drake’s hand wasn’t there—and instead on her neck. She gave Drake an icy glare.
It was so icy, Drake froze.
Limestone’s jaw tightened. “Pet my neck and I’ll break yours.”
Drake’s hand slowly moved back down to her shoulder.
Next update: Queen Chrysalis 
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Gee, well. Formatting is a pain now, post-site-update. I had to manually put in all the paragraph breaks. Some good changes came from the site update, but... some annoying ones, too.
Anyway, sorry I was a week late with this one. Got a bit sidetracked with other activities the past few weeks and I forgot I was supposed to post last Sunday! Shouldn't happen next time, though. Hopefully. :x
Heh, Limestone... Don't know what you're missing I'm afraid. Poor girl. (Shakes head.) As for the Queen, well I think it's best for me to stay far away from her, lest I give her more love energy than she needs.
CHRYSSI!!! YAY!
Hiya, I think you have one Sam in there as Same somewhere? Good take on the Pie sisters, especially Limestone
I am very excited for next week. I think there might be some serious expectations in play for that chapter!
8226486
Ah yes, thank you, good catch. Fixed. :>
Yes, I'm definitely gonna have some fun with the next chapter
Can't wait for Chrysalis!
Still waiting on Derpy.
Hopeing for Nightmare Moon and Day Breaker
Is the next chapter going to be like this?
pre07.deviantart.net/3e37/th/pre/i/2014/180/2/a/chrysalis_simulator_by_doublewbrothers-d7og0bd.jpg
Oooh. Limestone is cold.
Oooo, Chrysalis up next? I'm excited for that!
8226542
OH god... I hope Changelings are gonna make an appearance at the Cafe.
That was a nice chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
Limestone, though
Chrysalis is gonna be obese...
Chrysalis is next? This is gonna be good.
8226542
We can only hope that our superior grooming techniques will please the great bug horse waifu.
You made theor personalities perfectly. Maud showing no emetion, and Marble being as shy as she can be.
8226542
That last panel though.
Chrysalis: Congratulations, your a daddy!
Yuss Chrysalis
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/7/19/678564__safe_artist-colon-adequality_artist-colon-jalm_queen+chrysalis_oc_oc-colon-anon_colored_cute_cutealis_hand_petting_scrunchy+face.png
8226514
With Dark Sisters it could be hard to pet them with their obligatory helmets on head. Even worse with Daybreaker's flaming mane.
And someone need to be really hardcore to pet either cold tyrant or furious tyrant, whose can show displeasure in rather painful ways.
8227264
The mane would be easy, just turn it off because it's a "fire hazard" and make it a typical red mane. And make a dark souls joke, I feel if she played a game that would be it if for nothing else just to hear 'Prise the Sun'.
Stone-cold! :derpytongue:
Limestone... what are we going to do with you ?
Tracy handled Pinkie quite well, though. Redirection so Marble can have some peace and quiet. That was sweet.
Aww. Most adorable. Especially Limestone, despite her best efforts.
As for the next chapter, the US and Equestria may want to hash out an extradition treaty.
oh the bug Queens next eh. I can see her trying to take over the human world or at least trying to suck us dry of our love. Im hoping for armed tanks and infantry in the next chapter
Updates: Lots
Hnng: Like, too much, man
Thanks for the update! Loved Maud's and Limestone's interactions. I'm looking forward to see Chrissy's take on the petting cafe. How'd she get there anyway?
8242124
Think about it, a business solely geared towards humans wanting to pet ponies because they love to? Only a fool of a changeling would not try to get in on that action. It'd be an endless buffet! She might even be surprised to find humans that find her pretty in her natural form.
where can I sign up to see queen Chrysalis, that's what I'm here for
I wonder what would happen if Ember was in this.
Yes! All the best pony next! I want to pet the crysalis!
SHE SPEAKS