Interlude 1: Intake Report/Initial Assessment
Equestria Ministry of Families, Foals and Mental Health
Intake Report/Initial Assessment
Client Demographic Information
Client: Bruce Bannon, report by client
Age: UNK, apparent physical 8-10
Race: Pony/Earth
Gender: M
Nationality: UNK
Parental Demographic Information
No parents or guardians known at present time.
Physical Description and History
Client is a blue Earth Pony with a blue mane and golden-yelllow eyes. Height recorded at 2 ft 3 in, length 1 ft 6 in. Weight 59 lbs. No obvious signs of physical distress or abnormality noted by counselor.
Client was made known to the ministry by Doctor Horse of Ponyville General Hospital. Apparently found on the edge of Whitetail Woods by a separate group of foals and taken in for potential physical trauma. Medical report att. Counselor made contact with client at approx. 7 AM local time. Client was in a intoxicated state due to sedation. Client presents a 'rough' appearance and a lack of co-ordination was noted even after intoxication well out of system.
Family History
No family history of validity given by foal. Current searches are being conducted. Client self-reports good relationship with family of non-pony type. Client states that last contact was 'years' ago. Client reports presently married, good relationship with spouse.
Psychological History
No known psychological history. Client self-reports 'problems' but refuses to elaborate. Counselor observes lacks proper self-other boundaries while intoxicated, extreme distaste of contact otherwise. Client is fearful and aggressive. Client showing common signs of sexual trauma/abuse, abandonment and drug/alcohol exposure. See att. Client Contact Report for more information.
Social History
No valid information given. Client self-reports as alien, mythological creature 'human.' Client states social and cultural norms far outside of Equestrian normal. Client acts contrary to said norms, displaying aggression when reported to 'come in peace.' Client probable Diamond Dog escapee due to dislike of physical contact/aggressiveness outside norm for age and gender. Client disregards redirection/correction.
Of note is mythological society differing from common archetypical 'human' fantasy; notable 'utopic' ideal vis a vis technology outside of current known bounds of science, lack of major conflict despite client self-reported predatory habits. Client reports societal norm in regards to clothing consistent with body-fear and racial self-loathing. Client reports psychosexual norms consistent with abuse and rape as 'normal' and states dislike of natural covering.
Equestria Ministry of Families, Foals and Mental Health
Client Contact Notes
Bruce is an Earth Pony colt of average size for age and slightly under-weight. First contact made while Bruce was intoxicated with sedation after violent tantrum for being denied tobacco products. While under the effects of sedation, Bruce deep-kissed this Counselor and made overtly-sexual motions toward hospital staff. He was a bit too 'lovey' and this Counselor noted behaviors consistent with sexual trauma/sexualization.
After sedation wore off, Bruce hid from sight until bribed out with water. Shows aversion to contact, lack of eye contact, lack of trust, lack of everything normal about a colt his age of proper behavior for age group, control issues, confusion of boundaries, confusion of self, delusion/fantasy. Bruce tries to act like a mare three times apparent age and even self-reports as same but that is obviously untrue. Proper full Psychosocial and Behavioral Assessment requested.
Bruce's hospitalization was due to extreme drunkenness. See medical report for more details. He also reports being addicted to cigarettes and shows poor impulse control in regards to obtaining items of value to himself. He is strong willed and hard to redirect. Bruce also has extremely foul language when angered or frustrated and attempts to redirect by hospital staff were insufficient and far too severe for this partic. Full report included in file; 'EMoFFMH Caretaker Abuse Report.'
Bruce is deluded to a high degree. He reports believing himself a 32 year old 'human man.' He claims no memory of how his 'transformation' occurred and that he is married to a female 'human' named 'Lisa Bannon' with the explanation that last names are passed from colt to mare. He has a job in 'data entry' which, from what this Counselor could gather, is essentially scribe or clerk type work. He has a good knowledge of basic economics, though the currency he reports is 'dollars' instead of bits but impulse control indicates rote memorization rather than 'true practice.'
His delusional world is an extensively created science fiction-fantasy world of high technology and what appears to be inverse gender roles. Despite humans reportedly being predatory or omnivorous, Bruce did not relay information regarding militaristic behavior consistent with aggressive hunter species (lacking in common fantasy involving humans as well, see 'Human Myth: Why it Appeals' as well as several other reports by this Counselor and others on human obsession). Regardless of the purported high-technology, Bruce claims to have no knowledge of how such items function or are produced except in some place called 'China.' Refuses to elaborate, attempting to redirect conversation to other topics such as clothing and 'human rights.' Technology inconsistent with normal human obsessive fantasy/delusion, perhaps instead showing personal past history of patient? Not the place for notes, Spring.
Counselor Notes
This is beyond anything I have ever seen. The only possible explanation I can come up with that makes any logical sense is that this colt has been sexually abused and traumatized to a degree that I can barely comprehend. Diamond Dog enslavement is most likely cause but I cannot rule out family abuse, especially with the sexualization aspect. He is going to need a loving family that is disciplined yet caring and supportive to help him break out of this fantastical world of talking hairless monkeys and into reality. He is obviously extremely smart, creative, and funny. This world of his has depth that few authors can hope to achieve in their lifetimes. We need to nurture those aspects while diminishing the angry, destructive and cruel. This is a complex case and I don't know if I can handle it alone. I may have to request additional help from the Ministry.
AUTHORS NOTES: For some reason, this came out all kinds of messed up formatting-wise. But I did the best I could with it. Sorry for the size, I was trying to make it look like an official type document.
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Just a small little thing, some paperwork Spring Meadows had to fill out.
Man this was a funny read, very well done, can only hope that the next update will be soon. No rush, take your time. I would rather it later and of proper length and quality to which I am accustomed than soon and of short length and shoddy quality. TL DR Good, looking forward to more.
paper work eh. if this was like really real id be like damn this kid is fucked up
This is awesome.
now we know how they see him. for once i actually enjoyed reading "official documents"
904506
Damn sad thing is: I've seen worse IRL. And people wonder why I smoke and drink ... thank god it's not on a constant basis. Yeach.
904530 there are some really sad things in this world and ive experienced some of it when it happened to my cousin
I have to say, he really presents as a sad little colt.
I hope things get better for him.
At least, I hope his wife gets here, if nothing else, so that they can grow up together in a land of happiness.
Eh, I can hope, but I doubt it's going to happen.
Ha this story is hilarous.
Interesting decision to write an official report for a chapter. I think I'm going to have to re-read the previous chapters before I read this too deeply, since the report is going to be coloured by the Equestrian socio-economic model, and not the human one.
...... I kinda liked this chapter. A chapter from the POV of the counselor would of been good to, buy ya cant get everything.
904667
I don't think there's enough there to ruin much. Though in time, I'll be introducing larger and stranger concepts than just 'inverse gender roles' (though that isn't exactly true, I'll get to it eventually). It lacks a level of detail for proper 'depth' of report. I'm not a trained counselor myself so I had to make do with what little I've been exposed to.
Later interlude reports (if I continue with that) might be a bit more in-depth, explaining aspects of Bruce's inability and unwillingness to integrate into pony society. That'll include a basic explanation of what aspect of society and how he interacted with it, fleshing out this world a bit and also giving a different look at ponies themselves.
903168
Yeah, I used to write 6k chapters. Still aim to do that with a few stories. But I found that smaller chapters get me more views.
No, really. That and I don't have a ton of time anymore what with being married, having a job, having housework that needs doing, etc. etc. So smaller chapters are what I can manage. Really wish I could write more and longer but not yet. Maybe eventually I can get back into those.
I'd be funny if they viewed the inside of his mind whilst preforming psychological evaluations.
The physician would be scarred for life
This is nice. A little off-the-rail background/insider info. God/Celestia/Luna/Faust/Discord/Any other holy spirit help the family that adopts Bruce.
No.. NOOOOO!!! Sexual Abuse in Equestria!!!! Evil Slave Trading, Child raping, Pony turtoring daimond Dogs? Yikes.... Suddenly I don't wanna go to equestria...
The Ministry doesn't sound like a nice bunch...
Bruce tries to act like a mare three times apparent age and even self-reports as same but that is obviously untrue.
Surely he tries to act like a stallion? Or this a result of the different gender roles?
Marvelous shift in perspective, both funny and chilling.
904957 NO THAT'S THE FUN OF IT ALL!
hehe
OMG! Bruce needs to tell them all about nuclear fission and wars...
Seeing the flip side of this story made it about 3 times more amazing. Where before I saw just silliness, I now see master work comedic genius being plied before my eyes. This little report is brilliant in so many ways... and how it wraps everything up from the outside perspective AND makes everything settle in a realm of practicality is just so freaking amazing... Words simply fail me in explaining how much "Win" this little interlude is made of.
I love the fact that they are just assuming he has been sexually abused... by dogs. The little official report just made the story that much better.
Oh btw all the likes you have gotten since changing the cover picture, I am taking credit for those. Yupppp it was all me, people were like wow look at that picture UPBOAT. This is a FACT that I am sure "readers" will confirm in time.
905123
I am totally not momomojito, and as an average everyday Fimfiction user I agree with everything momomojito said. It was all the cover picture.
Ah, an offical report from the staff. Glad to see you went through with it
The first third of it confused me a bit but It's still a really good chapter despite your fears.
While I enjoy long chapters I can understand why short chapters would get more reads, you dont have to commit as much.
And I hate to nitpick but, "Bruce tries to act like a mare three times apparent age". Is that a typo or are you saying he acts like girl?
Looking forward to future chapters as always
I like it
I really liked this chapter, it reviewed everything from the pasted chapters in a fun to read way. I really hope to see more reports from Spring Meadows, it would be good to see what others think of him from time to time and this is a good way to do it.
Doctor Horse? And now I visualize Hugh Laurie as a pony...
Brain! you have failed me!
Like the others I stumbled over "Bruce tries to act like a mare three times apparent age." but it makes a lot of sense looking at "His delusional world is an extensively created science fiction-fantasy world of high technology and what appears to be inverse gender roles.".
I don't see this in canon, Filthy Rich and Hoity Toity are successful businessponies and Shining Armor has a respectable career too. If there is genderism in Equestria I have yet to notice it.
But I might just be overthinking this again.
I already liked this story as a comedy, then this chapter exposed the kind sociological and psychological knowledge and world-building that I'm an absolute sucker for. Cannot wait to read more.
Well Bruce is fucked...
I wonder how he is going to escape.
MASSIVE POST INCOMING!
904957
Sorry if that made you uncomfortable. If ponies are a reflection of humanity (which they are, of course, being a creation of a human) then they unfortunately must share our baser aspects. At least, in order to have a fuller and more real feel to them.
904977
Huh? The Ministry is a combination of a Department of Families and Children (they take care of fostering and adopting kids, help families in need, etc.) and a national Mental Therapeutic and Counseling organization. Great ponies, really do their best to help others.
904985
The second one. “His delusional world is an extensively created science fiction-fantasy world of high technology and what appears to be inverse gender roles."
905024
Actually, Bruce is terrified of telling the ponies about information like that. He doesn’t want to ‘make waves,’ one of the reasons he’s not telling them everything he knows about technology. He’s still worried about changing the nature of the ponies or something and having it affect the show. Silly Bruce, you’re not in the show! You’re in a fanfiction!
905048
Glad you liked it! I was worried the rapid shift in tone would throw people off, so I added some humor in the form of ‘come in peace’ and a reference to the US’ current trade deficit with China. Also, the fact that Bruce leaving out the more nasty side of human nature makes us look ‘utopic’ to the ponies where the truth would be more believable.
905123
Yes, it was all you. I’m still stealing that line, but it’ll be when he’s placed with a particular pony for a while and we’re not even out of the hospital yet. Oh man.
905168
Gender roles are slightly different. I was going to try something massively complex, where the gender actions are almost the same between humans and ponies according to gender but the societal expectations and value are seen as switched (guards are a ‘necessary evil’ to ponies where here, the military is lauded to a high degree and raising children (traditionally seen as ‘woman’s work’ but that in and of itself denies the nurturing side of men and that idea is damaging to society as a whole) is lauded in Equestria to a high degree but here it’s just expected) but, eh, I just flipped them. Easier that way.
905461
Margaret Thatcher was a successful politician, as is Hilary Clinton. Hewlett Packard, IBM, and Pepsico all have female CEOs. And yet the western culture still struggles under a preconceived notion of what is and what is not 'female work.' There are still individuals who claim females are – somehow – inherently incapable of doing certain tasks such as policework or even construction. My intent was not to show genderism in Equestria, it was to show a similar situation to reality where they are still working through the last remnants of older genderism. A boy that is excitable and energetic is considered normal but a girl that shows the same actions is seen as strange. At least, when I was a kid that was the case.
That is, essentially, the direction I was heading. Not a 1920 idea of gender roles but rather a, uhm, late 70’s? Where there was this movement towards a more egalitarian society but you’d still have this feeling of ‘men’s work’ and ‘women’s work’ in society at large that is slowly being weeded out.
905696
Now I feel bad for taking the easy way out on that gender issue.
906085
There is no escaping from LA! Er, Equestria. Somewhere.
Bruce being placed in a guardian family, this is going to be so much fun.
906339
I always did imagine Equestria as a more female dominated culture (what with the show giving us a population ratio of about 6 mares to the stallion and making both rulers female), but with a well-developed drive towards gender equality. So, most of the leadership positions are taken up by mares (Mayor Mare), while businesses have a more reasonable ratio of male standouts (such as Fancypants). All of it, of course, fueled by the fact that the high ratio of mares to stallions would probably have objectified the males as a scarce resource. Why get an education as a stallion when you can just find a rich mare to marry who'll happily provide for you?
And, as you mentioned, stallions would be classically delegated (or considered better suited) to physically challenging work, in the same sense that women were delegated to home-making and child-rearing in many human cultures. Not in an honorable sense, but rather in a "what are you doing out of the fields? Go harvest me some crops, colt!" kinda way. But only by the non-PC mares, of course. After all, those days of rampant marevenism are behind them.
It's a fun thought exercise.
906424
The mature story "Xenophilia" is the only ... THAT kind of story I've liked because it approaches the situation just so. However, as the ponies are herbivores, I’d like to think that overt aggression is not so loved as it is in human society and so the Guard is an important and needed aspect but not one that is embraced so openly as it is in the human world. Then again, I also like to think of the Canterlot guard as a traditional and mostly ceremonial unit that is meant to heighten Celestia’s fertility aspect. Or maybe a holdover from the ‘bad old days’ when stallions were kept as chattel and the more you acquired, the richer and better you appeared to everyone else. Eh, either/or works really.
906460
People are constantly talking about ponies being peaceful because they are herbivores, but actual carnivores in nature aren't more aggressive unless they are hungry and you are of the right size to be a meal. While I can believe horses fight less than primates (who mostly are herbivores), they still do fight for territory and the like AFAIK. Being a herbivore doesn't mean pacifist in the real animal kingdom.
And then, the ponies of the show are people, not animals. Humans aren't chimps either.
906460
That's funny you mention Xenophilia. Have no shame, I precisely mirror your sentiments on it. It actually solidified my headcanon on Equestrian sociology.
And 906522 is right, overt aggression is actually generally more prevalent in social animals (many of which are herbivores or omnivores). Amongst wild horses, two stallions will beat each other senseless or even outright kill each other just as often as two lions will. While two cheetahs, for instance, will almost never move past the initial posturing.
Interestingly enough, by the way, stallions are in fact NOT in charge of herds amongst wild horses. Herds actually have a lead mare that the rest of the horses (including the stallion) actually follows around and takes leads from... stallions are only "in charge" in so far as they fight off other stallions trying to move in on their herd.
906522
Yes. And actually, I've seen some rather contentious remarks about how horses should not be classified as herbivores at all. They will happily walk over to something you're about to grill and start chowing down on the ground beef. And there are reports of stallions and even mares randomly attacking small animals that pose them no threat. One stallion, perfectly fine and not abused as far as I know, was known to trample squirrels to death just because. But these are mostly anecdotal stories so take it with a dose of salt.
However, another thing to note is that friendship can activate weapons in the MLPverse. So things that degrade friendship and all those warm and fuzzies can be seen as bad, including aggressiveness. The herbivore aspect is something I mentioned but that has never been my major reason for making the ponies seem less apt to leap to war/fighting. It's more of a sense that all those warm and fuzzies are useful in more than just an abstract philosophical sense where they live (as much as a cartoon can be seen to live.)
906562
Yep, I knew that. There are known situations where a pair of stallions will travel with a herd however, so it’s not always a single male in the grouping. As to the social animal aspect, it’s probably an outgrowth of that society itself, or rather, the need of that grouping. Two cheetahs posture for territory and mating rights but there is not that instinct of ‘group’ that lions or horses have. A lion alone is less effective and more at risk than a lion in a group so they give their all to maintain or gain a group. Probably where some of that aggression comes from.
Least, those are my thoughts while I’m at lunch at work and without any background in or knowledge of animal behavior.
906629
The more I read your responses, the more I anticipate the next chapter of this story. Get to writing already!
906339
yeah yeah yaeh, I know that, you don't have to apology, duh.
wait from the ending... is he gona get put in fostercare?
906629
Of course, if you're going to use friendship to use weapons, using those weapons will indicate some form of aggression, presumably directed against people you're not friends with.
The carnivore = aggression is just an old pet peeve of mine, it reminds me of century-old biology textbooks where lions and wolves are cruel, vicious, bloodthirsty and evil because they like some meat. Sorry!
The peacefulness of ponies ultimately rests in the hands of the author, and it depends on what you want to write. I'm always assuming the main reason we doesn't see gritty war and crime in the show is that it isn't that kind of show, not that it cannot exist in that fictional world. (I'm taking a "Doylist" stance here, see.) Since they obviously have stories about it (Pipsqueak's pirate costume, Pinkie's wild accusations in the cake theft case, the stories of Daring Do, etc) there must be a real counterpart somewhere, and I'd rather assume ponykind is more peaceful than average humanity yet still has our faults, foibles and possibilities for tragedy than assume they are innocently unaware. The lack of obvious genocide and international terrorism is obviously countered by invasions by shapeshifting soul-eating insectoids, the guardian of the Underworld running loose, and the town librarian forgetting her meds and brainwashing the whole town into a giant brawl. It will be interesting to see what you do with it, especially since you are handling the old chestnut of a human encountering ponies.
906643
I agree - this will be a fun and thought-provoking ride, I can feel it!
906730
Actually, that's an interesting thought... perhaps the reason ponies might not wage war on each other is because they have so many other external, genuine threats to their existence (and a living, immortal sun-goddess to protect them from said threats). In fact, it was Ronal Regan that said:
"... I couldn't help but say to him, just think how easy his task and mine might be in these meetings that we held if suddenly there was a threat to this world from some other species from another planet outside in the universe. We'd forget all the little local differences that we have between our countries and we would find out once and for all that we really are all human beings here on this earth together."
White House transcript of "Remarks of the President to Fallston High School Students and Faculty"
December 4, 1985
People, historically, show the most capacity to cooperate and achieve the impossible when there's an enemy to beat (we funded the moon landing based almost entirely on the idea that we had to beat the Russians to space). If humanity had to deal with changelings, giant monsters, and malevolent gods all the time (instead of only other humans), I imagine we'd all be pretty friendly with each other. Kinda like the ponies are.
906780
"Is there some sort of epic pony war in the distant future or something?"
"Actually, I'm from next Tuesday."
Ponies have the capacity for violence with each other. Violence is an outgrowth of diplomacy. However, I chose to see it as they are not as apt to use violence. Not that they are incapable of violence nor that it doesn't come to them as an option, it's just not the first thing to use as it would be with earlier human history. Luckily, our species has grown past that period where any confrontation would degrade into bloody contest. Instead, now it's only MOST confrontations degrading into bloody contest.
906730
Actually, there is plenty of terrorism, rape, murder and death in Bruce's Equestria. But it's like ... living in America. Uhm, my life is a poor example but the majority of people living in America have never fired a gun, never had to take another human life, never had to chose which child will get fed, etc. though there are places on Earth where these things are the norm rather than the exception. Equestria is a first world country of their world. There are horrible places, there is war and famine and that fun stuff. But in Equestria itself, I like to think of those as rare and horrifying.
When talking about psychology, culture and the like, it all boils down to what is average and what brings happiness to most. Bruce is not within the average for a pony, much less a pony colt that some ponies think should be 'seen and not heard.' The culture-shock is where a large portion of the humor will be coming from. Maybe.
And something of interest: while I was conceptualizing the story seed, I came to a conundrum. The human-side was going to be male but I could either go with a gender inversion (which I chose), have him end up in a filly’s body or both. I chose the inversion. While there would be those awkward moments of trying to deal with a being a filly, I wanted a more ‘alien’ society and if I went with filly AND inversion, it’s as if nothing changed except some of the biology and that would be … weird for Bruce but easier to handle. Now I’m regretting not making Bruce a female human and having that as a potential source of humor. He has a wife, though …
I really hope that Bruce somehow hears of the report mentioning that he is the likely result of Diamond Dog sexual abuse, might actually end up breaking his rage from an overload.
906780
Again, I tend to think of this as "it's a show". You can show dangers like Queen Chrysalis or Discord in show for small children, but not actual war. Pinkie has to have gotten her ideas of mustache-twirling villains, secret agents (and the politics they need to exist) and ninja assassins from somewhere, and she didn't just make the concepts up because Pinkie so crazy, because then Twilight would have critizised her in a different way.
Of course, except for the "far off land" Zecora comes from, we haven't really heard of any other actual country Equestria could be at war with. The kids are shocked at the idea ponies once could be mortal enemies in the pageant story so I assume civil war is unknown or rare. Of course, three of those kids managed to undo the seal that had held an ancient chaos spirit for millenia by one of their fights, so less mortal enemies has to be known among ponies (and those three kids are best friends, to boot).
One thought I had is that most violent conflicts we've seen that didn't involve apple pies is similar to American superhero stories or Japanes stories of giant robots or magic girls or something. The only effective thing against the dangers we see are a small groups of very special and usually powerful people. The regular police has no chance of catching The Evil Jester, only a vigilante like Pterodactyl Man can. The regular army (and navy, and air force....) cannot stop Gorgorilla from destroying Tokyo; only Gigantorobot can. Likewise, an army is pretty much gonna do diddly squat against Discord; you need the Elements of Harmony. If we follow your scenario, it's not like a standing army of any size is gonna be useful. I like to imagine the Guard has some use, they are just never useful when the main characters are around, so the main characters can shine. Presumably the cops of Gothampolis captures some pickpockets and noisy drunks when Batman's not around.
Holy crap...
Good for you and the responders to your posts.
906339>>906460>>906629, Well you are clerealy a well informed and philosophical individual
But now I fear i am missing some deeper meaning. I don't think you've used any but I've alaways disliked symbosim, I never see it unless it is pointed out directly. As i've always said "A club is not a spade".
906939>>906934
Great points, both of you.
Although, I will say that while an army won't beat Discord, give enough scientists and engineers enough time and funding and they'll do it. After all:
neytiri.avatar-forums.com/signaturepics/sigpic13232_22.gif
906939>>906967>>906934
Wow, I enjoyed reading Y'alls conversation there, that was really in depth and interesting. I had no idea horse herds were led by a mare. You'd think I'd hear about that before this, what with reading Ponies for 5 solid months now. Also, that line about friendships unleashing weapons? Priceless. I loved that Regan quote, it's definitely something worth considering when presented with concept of a world with many sapient species instead of just one.
906339
In reply to the original post: I did in fact notice all those little references, including the fact that him making human culture more utopic actually working against him! I've yet to read a comedy story that made use of all those different points of humor so effectively. I've seen a gag here or there with one of the elements you used, but never with so vary layers of elements used at once. The fact that you managed to tie them all together seamlessly is what made it great. So I say well done once again. Also, if it means anything, I'm liking the possibilities for the approach you chose, the gender role inversion and the fact that the culture is more alien. After all, it's not just a straight inversion since manual labor is still expected of a male, so it leaves a lot of room for culture shock.
909223
ERGH. I fixed a few errors before but I guess I didn't catch that one.
Bruce tries to act like a mare three times apparent age and ---- What? I'm sorry but what? A mare. Wasn't he a male. Why is he trying to act like a female 3 times his age. Shouldn't it be a "Stallion" or "Colt" instead of "Mare"
Fukin funny
I REALLY liked this chapter. I mean, if you could favorite chapters instead of stories, I'd favorite this one by itself. It's brilliant!