30 - A Meeting of ... Minds?
Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick-
I gritted my teeth against the annoying sound of the wall clock as it wound down through the minutes. It seemed like hours to me but clocks don't go backwa-hey! Stupid clock. The administrator's waiting room wasn't all that interesting and it actually took a good deal of effort to hold back my new childish energy but I managed to fidget only a little. The diphtheria was helping and my hectic flight through the offices drained what little I had stored up. It was coming back slowly but I could manage. The four of us were sitting in uncomfortable chairs along one wall while a stallion - I assume the admin's secretary by the way he kept trying to look busy with the same two files on his desk - kept giving us the stink-eye over his cheap desk. So not only was I causing messes, I was dragging foals into them. I felt great.
The Crusaders, on the other hoof, couldn't seem to keep from whispering at each other.
"Ah can't believe you tried ta blame Bruce for this, Scoots," Applebloom fake-whispered over my head. I was sitting between her and Scootaloo and had been suffering through their argument since before we had been escorted here. I think they had put me here to discourage them from continuing the hushed sniping that had dogged us through the hospital hallways but it wasn't working. A harsh 'shh' from the secretary drove the volume down every so often but it wasn't stopping the 'fight.' "Ah mean, it wasn't like you were fightin' against the idea."
"You heard him, he even admitted it was his idea." Scootaloo shifted a bit in her seat. She was embarrassed. Don't ask me how I could tell, I just could.
"That was still not cool, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle mumbled from her place beyond Applebloom. Where Applebloom was energetically upset and Scootaloo was defensively upset, Sweetie Belle seemed mortally upset. All through our walk, all I heard from her was 'Rarity is going to kill me.' Maim, sure. Kill? Not so much Sweetie.
Scootaloo gave a groan of annoyance at the unicorn filly's somewhat distant words. "Team up on the pegasus day, I get it."
"Shh!" The stallion's shush brought three heads low and his glare kept them there until he turned back to shuffling the file in front of him closed. He moved on to the second file for the eighth time and it took barely a second before Applebloom and Scootaloo were whispering above my head. Again.
"Hey, I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again but it was his idea."
"It doesn't matter. You should always be nice ta colts, Scootaloo." Applebloom was really dead-set on defending me. I knew that as soon as I opened my mouth, something awful was going to come out so I didn't discourage it as much as I should have. All I could do was grunt in an attempt to confuse the parties - each time, I was blessed with a few seconds of silence as they tried to figure out if I had said something or was willing to join them in their little blame game. Nope on both accounts but it would buy me a few seconds so I kept doing it.
Before Scootaloo could respond - and before I could make things worse by finally snapping at the pair of them - the door to the hallway creaked open very slowly and four sets of young eyes turned to find our doom. Applejack, Rarity and Spring looked back at us. They were not happy. And just behind them, the Cakes - and another mare I hadn't seen before. Fuchsia is not a color that should ever exist in nature. Holy everything, my eyes stung just looking at her. I guess it kinda worked with her mane color - yellow-green? It was like an interior designer got drunk and vomited on a sheet of paper after eating the printer ink. Purple eyes did not help the poor dear one bit. Scootaloo blanched as the pony came into view. Just a bit. Past 'pale-orange' and into 'sheet white' territory.
"Eh heh. Hi mom." Ah, that's who bright-on-the-eyes was. Scoota-mom. At that, the mares and Mr. Cake entered the room as calmly as an adult shivering with anger could. I was shivering too. It was only partly anger.
"Scootaloo, I am very upset at you." As she entered the room fully, I caught a glimpse of her cutie mark. A set of balance scales set against a black circle. At least, it was supposed to be a black circle, the muscle under her coat was making it seem a bit bumpy. It wasn't long before every foal there had a guardian-type in front of them. Except me. I had the pleasure of three of them. And no time to listen in on the quiet conversations going on around me as I had my own to worry about.
"Bruce, what were you thinking?" Mrs. Cake was a bit livid. It wasn't her constipation-esque grimace or her very hard eyes, it was the hissing quality in her tone that really set my alarm bells ringing. That tone that was so very quiet and so very angry. Mr. Cake looked a bit haggard and Spring - Spring looked sad.
"I wasn't." Oops, there I go again - opening my mouth! Silly Bruce, when will you ever learn? As soon as the words left my muzzle, my hooves launched themselves to my face and clamped down to prevent anything else from escaping my Hole of Further Doom. It didn't help, her eyes narrowed a bit more. I managed to squeak out an 'I'm sorry' out of the corner of my mouth.
"Bruce, you're in trouble but you're not going to be hurt, ok?" Spring gave Mrs. Cake a glance as she said this and got a slightly offended look back. "What you did was not only dangerous but also illegal."
"Excuse me Spring," the eye-searingly colored Scoota-mom nodded at the haggard three some from next to us, "Mrs. and Mr. Cake. May I ask Bruce a few questions?"
Mrs. Cake gave the Scoota-mom a glare of death for a minute before deflating with a sigh. Tired eyes looked out from a stress-filled face and she nodded. "Thank you Cup. Bruce? What happened?"
I looked up into her eyes. It was like nothing I can describe. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted everything to pour out in a flood. I wanted to tell everypony everything. So I did.
"It was my idea. We were waiting in the hospital room for so long and I thought that if I knew what Spring thought of everything I could maybe make sense of what's been going on so we snuck out and went to where the offices were but there were so many and I couldn't read the signs but we found Doctor Horses office and it was unlocked and there were files everywhere and we found my files and I can't believe they think I've been raped or something and nothing really makes sense and no one believes me and I keep telling the truth but it doesn't matter and-and-and I just want to go ho~o~ome!" HONK HONK
I don't know if it was because I was exhausted by the sickness, stressed because of how long I had been away from home or if my child-emotions were playing havoc with my brain but I found myself bawling my eyes out in front of a suddenly uncomfortable group of adult ponies. And coughing. A whole lot of coughing. And then ... I found myself being hugged. By Mr. Cake. Who has been the best thing that has happened to me since I ended up in ponyland.
It wasn't long before the sound of a mare clearing her throat brought everypony's head up. An off-white unicorn mare had joined us at some point in time and despite her attempts at looking professionally distant, once her eyes passed over me a hint of worry entered them.
"May I see the guardians in my office?"
Mr. Cake gave me one more squeeze before the welcome warmth of his hug left and the crowd of them disappeared one by one through the door.
And I was alone again. Until Scootaloo grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. And then Applebloom. Even Sweetie Belle came over and hugged me. We stayed like that for a good while until the muffled shouting from the office caused everypony - even the not-even-pretending-to-work secretary - to jump. It sounded like Scoota-mom. And holy damn did she sound pissed. I mean, I thought Mrs. Cake could get angry but this was beyond that.
"Scootaloo?"
"Yeah Bruce?"
"Your mom scares the crap out of me." I gave her a look and she nodded slightly.
"Almost everypony says that, Bruce." She shivered a bit and if I hadn't been clamped on by three fillies, I would have hugged her back. "I have never heard her this upset before."
"Even when we accidentally set the carnival on fire?" Sweetie's voice cracked painfully in the middle of that sentence but the sounds of anger from the administrator's office kinda distracted from it.
"Yeah, this is way worse." The three Crusaders shivered a bit at the collective memory. I perked up as a particular explicative found enough volume to force it's way through the door.
"I don't think she's angry at us, girls." A glimmer of hope - guilty, guilty hope - found it's way into my heart. We stayed like that - listening to the sound of Scoota-mom's voice with the voice of the Administrator soon joining her - until the door slammed open and a fuming fuchsia form stormed out of the office. Behind her, I could see a very upset administrator and a depressed looking Doctor Horse.
"I want those signs put up tomorrow, Quill! And those files locked away tonight! This place is an embarrassment and a Sun-damned disgrace - we have regulations to prevent this exact situation! Come along Scootaloo." Without waiting for an answer, Scoota-mom stomped past a slightly-cowering secretary and out the door. And with a final squeeze to me, Scootaloo bolted after her. Just before they left, I heard Scoota-mom whisper something to the filly that sounded like 'grounded for life.'
"Ah'm so glad Ms. Hitter's the district attorney." Applebloom's quiet voice sounded loud in the silence of that rage-filled passing. It took a second for those words to filter into my mind but when they did, the screech of mental gears grinding to a halt could be heard for miles.
"Wait, what?"
"Come along Bruce." Mrs. Cake was suddenly at my side and I jumped in surprise at her appearance. Haggard, true, but a bit less tired looking. "Let's get you back to your room."
I felt two small squeezes from the remaining Crusaders and they were gone, dutifully walking behind their sisters and out the door. It took me a moment before I realized how lonely I felt. And it was a few seconds after I connected the events that I bit my own tongue to keep from cursing a storm.
I blame the hormones fully and totally and was really creeped out by everything and everyone. Cue the 'squick' dance - where you shake, shiver and flail your hands around trying to get the mental image to leave. Never works but the eternal optimist in me refuses to give up.
"No, a thousand times no. I will geld myself before that happens." The horrified looks from the Cakes and Spring made me realize I had said that particular bit out loud. "Not that - don't worry about it."
The walk back was done in an awkward silence. I was used to those but it wasn't just Spring and the Cakes that were silent. No, the entire hospital just stopped as we passed by. Nurses and doctors ceased conversation, orderlies stopped transporting sick ponies - wheelchairs make no sense if the population sits like dogs half the time but whatever - and even patients stopped what they were doing to watch us pass.
It was eerie and I didn't like it at all.
"Spring," I whispered as loudly as I dared while another group of doctors stopped to stare, "what is going on with the hospital?"
Spring sighed and shook her head a bit sadly. "You just got a few ponies very ... nervous, Bruce. That's all."
I blinked. I couldn't do anything else. A set of orderlies backed up a bit as we passed into the children's ward. The nervousness was apparent but there was an underlying tinge of something. Either fear or anger. Suddenly, the walls seemed a lot less cheery than they had been. The smiling painted sun wasn't just a silly bit of childishness thrown on the wall, it was to inspire sick foals to feel better. The flowers and grass that accompanied it weren't just refreshing colors to calm nervous children, they were reminders of happier times outside the confines of drab olive and blue walls. The empty nurses desk wasn't just an empty nurses desk with a discarded and partly-crumpled hat sitting on top of a pink slip of paper ...
As soon as we entered 'my' room, I felt tense. Both Spring and the Cakes seemed hesitant to start a conversation - probably because of something my 'little colt ears' shouldn't hear. All that waited for me was another stay in a warm hospital bed with adult ponies fussing over me and making sure I was comfortable. Less one.
"I need to use the bathroom," I said and hurried past the startled trio of ponies. I needed to breathe, I needed to calm myself and splash my face with cold water, I needed ... I needed to think.
I don't know how long I sat there in the bathroom, just sitting. My mind wandered over my actions these past three days. Or was it four? It all blurred together and my emotions weren't helping. With a sigh, I hefted myself up on the sink, intending to splash some water on my face - wake myself up and clear my head. Stop everything from being blurry. But something caught my eye.
I reached a hoof out and - with a dull clunk - it met the glass in front of me. Golden eyes stared into mine from a face that seemed far too old to be on any foal. Bags under bloodshot eyes, creases in the brow and muzzle. I was surprised there was no grey in that tousled blue mane. I was alone. No ponies running around trying to find me, no well-meaning Counselors watching over my back, no frantic foster fathers trying desperately to connect with me. No sour-faced nurses to remind me that I should be in bed. I was alone - except I wasn't.
"Is that you Bruce? Is this me?" I asked quietly, letting my southern accent come through clearly. My voice didn't echo - the bathroom attached to my hospital room was too small for that - but I half expected it to. It surely didn't reach past the solid door to where Mr. Cake was anxiously waiting for me to return. I moved a hoof to my face - the physical one - and started to pull down the skin. The foal in the glass mirrored my movements. I could feel the eyeplate stretch, the muscles contract into a grimace. It hurt. The foal across from me winced as the pain began and I dropped my hoof back to the sink. I felt as tired as he looked. I chuckled - a far too dark sound from such a small form. "Ah think Ah already hate this movie."
The foal in the glass didn't answer. It was just a mirror, after all. This was the first time I hadn't been - no, felt rushed. The first time I could breathe and think. The first time I had ended up alone since that night - and here, there was no Pinkie Pie to 'happen' upon me. Alone with my thoughts and I was stuck on what I looked like. I shook my head at that. It was deeper than it seemed to be. It wasn't about how I looked, it was about what that represented. Gone were the long and carefully cared for wavy brown tresses with only a few grey hairs out of place. Gone were the piercing steel blue eyes. Gone were the trimmed goatee and mustache. I didn't feel so confused and lost because they were gone. It was what stared back at me that inspired this - what it meant. Short dark blue mane, blue fur, golden eyes that looked so damn tired.
"Are you in mah body, blue-guy?" Again, no response. It was just a mirror. "Are you wonderin' when yer gonna get home? When you'll see yer mom and dad again? Moms. Whatever. Are you confused? Are you lost?! Are you scared and alone and you can't get any help?! Are you me?! Are you?!"
I was shouting by the time my hoof met the blue face across from me and could only sneer at the multitude of hateful faces staring back at me from the shards of glass. For a moment, all I saw were ponies. Ponies smiling gently as they pushed me here and there. Ponies that looked at me with pity, making up wild stories in their heads about why I was who I was. Ponies as they forced me to fit into their world and their little categories, into what they thought I should be. Ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies ponies! For a moment, all I saw were seven mares and a stallion trying so hard to help and failing at it.
For a moment, I just felt angry.
"Fuck." With that, I removed my hoof from the now shattered mirror and stared at the rough surface. A few minor scratches into the keratin but nothing more. Nothing more. Had I punched a mirror with my hand, I'd be nursing cuts. Here - I just damaged hospital property. Nothing more. Nothing. A sudden rap on the door made me snap my head up, subconsciously checking that it was still locked.
"Bruce? Are you ok in there?" Mr. Cake rattled the handle on the door, his voice tinged with panic. When I didn't respond - what could I say? - the rattling became frantic. "Bruce? Say something."
I looked back at the many faces frowning back at me - my frown deepening as a sudden urge to grab one of those shards and do something drastic came into my mind. The multiple voices shouting from behind the door and the slowly growing urgency of the rattling faded into background noise. One shard of glass - that's all it would take. One shard ... I reached out and tapped at one of the triangular pieces causing it to fall into the sink with a crack. One shard.
"What is going on in h-Bruce!" I whipped my head around and looked at an orderly standing in the doorway. Her face seemed stuck between shock and worry. Behind her, a large eyed Mr. Cake and Spring were staring at the mess of glass at my hooves in shock. "What did you do?"
"Does it matter?" My voice sounded hollow. I was tired, so very tired. "Whatever happened, it's my fault anyway - I set fire to the city, robbed every bank, slit every throat and everything else you want to heap on me. It doesn't matter what I did because it's all my fault."
I turned back and touched one of the shards, letting it fall to the sink and chip itself. "All my fault."
"Bruce, you'll cut yourself. Let's get you back to bed," the orderly tried to say calmly but I heard the panic in her voice. I didn't turn to look at her but that fear in her voice ... I laughed. She was scared! Her! Someone born in that body, someone that knew where she was and where her family was, someone that was so sure of her place in the world - and she was scared! It was hilarious to me for some reason. I began to laugh. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. I laughed at the well meaning pegasus pushing past the orderly roughly. I laughed at the teary-eyed Mr. Cake standing in the doorway in shock. I laughed and laughed and coughed and laughed some more.
I laughed until sobs wracked my body and I found myself curled up in the arms of a very concerned Spring, breaking down and crying. And coughing.
I was so tired.
"Bruce?" A stallion's voice - Mr. Cake - sounded gently in my ears. It wasn't very loud but it did snap me to consciousness after my exhausted fight against conformity. The warm mass I was curled against shifted slightly at my silence and I flicked to confirm I was awake. Or at least waking up. My face was pressed between two warm but heavy bits that felt ... fuzzy. I sighed in irritation.
Spring had gathered my limp body during my bout of self-induced mania and we had curled up together on the hospital bed - much to the chagrin of the staff. I had been drifting in a half-sleep haze for I-don't-know-how long before I finally succumbed. Sounds were muffled by wing and fur but everypony seemed content to leave us be - though at least once I had snapped awake at the electric tingle of a magical field and the vague sounds of conversation. My jerk alerted Spring and whoever it was to my vague awareness but I didn't have the energy to attempt to join the conversation. I think I mumbled something about pancakes. I wasn't coherent enough to listen in on whatever was going on and pretty much tanked out after a few awkward moments of muffled squawks and a soothing melody from Spring that I knew too well. 'Hush now quiet now' yourself, sister.
"Mmph." My mumbled reply didn't reach very far but it must have been far enough. It's kind of hard to respond when your face is buried in a mass of pony. I could feel more than hear the sound of a chuckle ... as well as a pretty large sized bump or something. I assume it was a chuckle from the shaking more than the sound, my form wasn't exactly in an optimal place to pick up such things you see. I must have shifted during my accidental nap, I wasn't against Spring's chest ... it smelled more like a stallion than a mare. Mr. Cake cleared his throat and tried again, very gently.
"Bru-uce?" With a shuddering gasp, I yanked my muzzle back from ... between Mr. Cake's thighs. Really? Really? THIS is how the rest of my day starts? I took one not-so panicked look at his smiling face, his belly and ... lower.
"Really?" I managed to croak out between a surprisingly small amount panic and revulsion. Very calm, all things considered. I think I was numb to new shocks. What was really odd was how comfortable it had been, if a bit tight. I mean small! I mean my head was too big to fi- oh, you know what I mean. "Really?"
His confused blink morphed into surprise and just a hint of fright quicker than I thought possible.
"Oh! Oh goodness, no Bruce!" Mr. Cake's face flushed red as the implication set in. "That's how a mother nurses her children - it's supposed to be comforting and make you feel safe. Oh stars and sun ..."
He trailed off as images of colts doing 'bad things' danced in his head. At least, I'm pretty sure he was suffering from imagination-induced sickness. Before he could get any farther, I decided to be kind to the poor frazzled stallion. He didn't deserve that kind of thing. None of them deserved this kind of thing.
"Oh, well, okay then." I blinked owl-like at the room, scanning for changes with a half-covered yawn. Yup, I was completely dead to surprise. Even forced gelding wouldn't have made me bat an eye unless it was directed at me. Mr. Cake wasn't - obviously. He had a nub. Ew, stop it brain. Seriously, I didn't need that mental image. I was no longer physically tired but I was emotionally exhausted. It had been a long couple days. At least I wasn't hacking a lung up whenever I woke up.
As I scanned the now dim room, I noticed the color once adorning the walls had changed from pea-green to a more pleasant blue. The bed was further from the door and there was a curtain across the room to separate it into two 'beds.' Survey says - new room. Can't have little damaged colts cutting themselves, can we? Never was a cutter but the last few days had made me wonder if I wasn't about to start. The very faint sounds of revelry that could have been heard from outside had completely vanished as well as most of the sounds of the hospital itself. It was quiet and dark. Not 'dead of night' dark but 'come in, time for dinner' dark. Smacking my lips, I yawned again and filed the information all away for dealing with 'later.' Back to the topic at hoof.
"That's kinda creepy, Mr. Cake, but whatever." His jaw worked a bit as he tried find a suitable response. Man, I was dry. I must have drooled in his thi-no, no. Don't think about it. We can't panic here, this is Counselor territory. She could be anywhere. Just waiting to spring out with some new well-meaning horror. "I guess it makes sense what with being where their teats are and all."
"Bruce, language," he said rather calmly as he reached down and helped me into a more reasonable 'facing the same direction' sort of situation. I squinted up at him in the dim light and blinked.
"What?" It was weird enough waking up with my head between his legs, now he wants to criticize my word-choice? The bed was far too small for his over-sized butt and I found myself pressing up against him in an attempt not to fall off. And he was warm. And I was comfy ... shut up.
"We call them 'mare parts,' Bruce." I stared at him for a good bit after that as my brain slowly shifted from first into second gear. Mare parts? That ranks up there with 'throbbing' as 'most over-used phrase in bad word-porn.'
"Really?" Wow, good start to a day! Already I was left without words twice. I could tell the rest of my short time awake was going to be spectacular. Mr. Cake blushed a bit at my disbelieving stare and nodded. He knew what I was thinking of - the way he shifted his fore legs closer to his body, the way they crossed a bit in front of him. It was a very closed off and defensive posture. His ears were flipped down and - where in the hell did this come from? Three days and I'm an expert body language reader or something? I had been in Equestria too long.
"At least you're not yelling at me." I shrugged as best I could at him and coughed a bit. At least it wasn't a 'body-wracking hack' type of cough.
"Yes, it's become clear that you are to be more gently corrected." Spring's voice drew my attention. What did I say - she was just waiting to 'spring' something on me! Get it? Get it? Right. She was just entering the room but I knew she had been around somewhere. Listening in on us. As I napped with my head between his-brain, stop it. I turned my irritation to a better target. Didn't she have other patients to deal with? Was I her only case? Anyway, I knew some of what was coming freely out of my mouth was filth but putting 'teats' on that list seemed a bit much.
"Especially by me." She looked at me, her eyes filled with unvoiced apologies. I blinked back at her as I mentally entered third gear. "I've been treating you as I would any other foal when it's obvious you're not and I'm sorry. I'll try my hardest to take into account your special circumstances."
She stopped and pawed at the floor with one hoof, biting her lip all the while. She didn't know what to say. Mr. Cake patted one of my hooves with a tired sigh. At least I wasn't the only one feeling tired. "Are you feeling better, Bruce?"
"Tired," I said, trying to dislodge the frog in my throat. "And angry but mostly tired."
"I'm sorry Bruce." Spring trotted closer to the bed, settling in as near to my front-half as she could get without crawling into bed with the two of us. She reached out and started to stroke my mane. I think it was supposed to be comforting but right then all it did was remind me of what I was. "Bruce, in the bathro-"
"Yes but it was just a silly, passing thought." My bluntness caused her to sputter a bit and I pushed her hoof away roughly. Or as roughly as a sub-ten foal can get. I guess having someone admit to having those thoughts was a bit of a shock because she managed to stay silent long enough for me to get another sentence in. "They come and go."
"Bruce," Mr. Cake's voice sounded shaky and I was determined not to look the poor stallion in the eyes. Or Spring. Or myself. "I, I ..." He trailed off. What do you say?
"They were silly thoughts, Mr. Cake." I chuckled. "I'd tell you not to worry about it but that's not going to happen."
"No, Bruce," Spring's voice sounded sad but I knew it was going to sound that way. "It's our responsibili-"
"The hell it is!" My head snapped up with a snarl. "I can take ... care ..."
That all died when I saw her. Hurt. Acceptance. She was just trying to help and here I was shouting at her. And she expected it. My face fell as well as my volume. "I-I'm sorry."
"It's ok Bruce."
"No, no it's not." I buried my face in my hooves. "I have no idea what's wrong with me, Spring. I've never snapped like this before - especially when it's someone trying to help. I've lost control of my emotions - my self - and it's terrifying."
I felt her arm drape across my shoulders lightly. "Bruce, you're scared and hurt. You're lashing out because you don't know what's going to happen or where is safe anymore. Yes, it hurts but I'm more worried about you."
"That's what terrifies me," I looked up at her confused face. "You're so concerned with me, what about you? What happens when it gets to be too much?"
She smiled at me, a smile that reached her eyes. A real smile. "I'm a tough mare, Bruce. I've had worse."
"I doubt it." She ignored my sarcastic quip.
"Bruce, I want you to know that no matter what," she squeezed me slightly as she said this, "I'm here for you. Anything you want to talk about is ok. You're safe with me. I won't hurt you, I won't touch you in a 'bad way.' You're safe and I won't let anything hurt you."
Except myself. I didn't say that, though. That would just get her talking more and I was sick of talking. I grunted instead and she gave me a sad, little smile. She let go of my shoulder and stepped back a bit - to give us more room, I suppose.
"Anyway, the doctor's have run a few purge spells on you so you're probably thirsty - and almost definitely have to use the little colt's room. That and it's fairly late anyway. We have a lot to talk about," the way she emphasized 'lot' pretty much told me it was just one minor thing - the whole 'breaking and entering' bit - but I didn't get much of a 'disappointment' vibe from her this time, "but that can wait. We have so much to do - we'll have to catch dinner on the way to the meeting, ok?"
"What meeting?" I gave her a confused look, my head tilted. I was fully awake now and ravenous but what was this about 'purge spells?' And what was more important than the whole 'breaking and entering' thing? Before I could ask, Spring's face 'flipped' to her 'super-happy-fun-times' face which consisted of a closed-mouth smile too wide for her face and those little happy-pony arcs for eyes. It also usually meant 'super-unhappy-Bruce-times' so I was understandably worried. With a nod to Mr. Cake - who managed to lift me out of bed and onto the floor with his hooves this time - she proceeded to busy herself by trying to smooth my atrocious bedmane.
"Why, your first 'Loving the Real You' meeting is tonight, Bruce." Her enthusiasm diminished as she saw my face. "I know, Bruce. But give it a chance - creatures of all sorts have found ways to accept themselves through these meetings and no matter what you are, it might help you come to terms with who you are."
"Oh joy." Deadpanned sarcasm was not what she was looking for apparently but it only brought out a sigh.
"Well this sucks," I mumbled to nopony in particular. I have no idea what I was expecting. Maybe something like the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings the courts made mom go to; a large group of people, cigs (OH GOD MARLBOROS COME BACK TO ME PLEASE), coffee, and poker chips with sayings on them - that sort of thing.
Instead, Spring had hustled me down a floor into her little 'talking room' after a blissfully short bathroom break and a quick stop at the hospital cafeteria ... and that was it. The only difference was a table set-up along the back wall with sandwiches and juice and a few folding bench-chair things. Of course, we were first - joy of joys - so not only was I going to be stuck in this room with a bunch of psycho-ponies thinking they're human but I was going to spend an indeterminate amount of time with Spring as she went through her filing cabinets while humming a cheery tune.
I sighed and flipped through one of the 'adult lifestyle' magazines Spring had out on a table as I munched at a daisy sandwich kindly provided by the awkwardly quiet cafeteria. I guess 'midnight snacks' are low on the priorities but Spring had a key and there wasn't a single pony around to stop her anyway. It was crap but 'nutrition is important to a growing colt' and all. I managed to avoid talking about bacon. Baby steps, Bruce. Baby steps.
As to the magazine, I couldn't read a word of it - wing dings all - but it seemed to be some sort of fashion rag. Mares showing off dresses in really awkwardly 'sexy' poses with only a few stallions in those suit-vest things showing up in the background. And I mean awkwardly 'sexy' from my standpoint. Ponies should not be able to bend that way. I thought I had a handle on this 'gender flip' thing but replace the ponies with humans and - suddenly - Cosmo. Maybe only some of the gender roles I was used to were different? Sports seemed to be a 'colt-ish' thing and dresses seemed to be more a 'filly' thing. But the guards were mostly mares ... it was super confusing.
"Uhm, is this the 'Loving the Real You' meeting room?" I know that voice - I had heard it exactly once before. I looked up from the wing-ding-a-licious rag I was flipping through to see a certain grey pegasus nervously standing in the doorway scuffing a hoof against the floor tile. Wall-eyed, bubble cutie mark - Derpy? Derpy - for some reason. I was surprised, I didn't think many non-Earth ponies (apart from a certain teal unicorn) would show up. I glanced over to Spring, expecting to see recognition - but she was more shocked than I was.
"Doctor Si- oh, h-hello Derpy. What brings you by?" I could tell from Spring's 'deer-in-headlights' look that Derpy's arrival was unexpected. Heck, I felt the same way. Background pony aside, other than the fact she's a klutz I knew nothing about this pony. Was she really a mother? A mail ... mare? Fandom has abandoned me so much that I had no idea. After a few odd glances around the room, Derpy walked in and smiled.
"Well, Spring, I'm here to see if ... it fits." Despite her words, something really wasn't right about her. Sure, she seemed 'clunky' in the way she moved but it was more like a dancer trying to do a bit-part as a clown. It felt staged. It was more fluid than I would give a so-called klutz and I swore I could see the hint of a scar peaking out of her pelt underneath her 'loose' eye. And that eye, it looked dead. Just ... dead. If that wasn't a fake eye, I was Queen of France. I felt a few hairs on my neck start to stand as she slithered her way into the - slithered? Really? Purple-prose aside, I really felt a weird vibe from her. Not necessarily bad - just off. I kept my muzzle shut as she and Spring spoke. "You know I've had issues with my eyesight and maybe I just need to 'love the real me' ya know?"
Yeeeeaaaaaah. Maybe if you acted like the 'real you.' Spring didn't seem to notice anything off about the mare though. Maybe it was because I was looking at everything from an outside perspective or maybe I was blowing things out of proportion. Maybe I had voodoo powers. The way her shoulders were too tense for a calm conversation, the way her real eye twitched towards movement, the way her stance was just north of 'leap-tackle' ... she was good but it's the little things. Spring's face lit up at that and she waved the pegasus in with a smile.
"We're always looking to help creatures accept themselves and all that makes them special here!" She motioned to me with a hoof from across the room and Derpy's eyes snapped to me far too quickly to be the eyes of a 'silly pony.' Spring continued, oblivious to the predator's stare. "Bruce will be a new member as well! We accept all creatures here - pony, gryphon, diamond dog, doesn't matter to us. We're all very special creatures."
I wasn't buying it for a second. Not Spring's gush about the meeting, that was real enough. But Derpy ... that pegasus was not right. She was more tense than a mouse at a rattlesnake convention, more coiled than an overloaded suspension, more ... coming towards me with a fake smile! Smile in return, Bruce! SMILE!
"Heeeey." With my wide and creepy grin in place, I nodded as Derpy took a pillow nearby. "Uhm, Derpy right?"
"That's right, Bruce." She was smiling but her eye was very focused. Very, very focused. For some reason, I wondered if she had any hippogryph in her ancestry. Golden eyes and a hunter's stare. I stared back. Not fearlessly but I can say this about myself - I am not intimidated very easily. Ok, yes I am - but Derpy was setting off alarm bells and I am not known for my brain. Or maybe it was more a 'deer in headlights' look but I looked back! That's what mattered damn it. I think she noticed because her look softened just a bit. "So, who are you exactly?"
The way she worded the question made it clear she was not asking for my name again. I made a snap decision - cause I've been REALLY good about those lately, right?
"I'm a human adult stuck in a foal's body. Who are you?" Balls, Bruce. When'd you grow those - was it after the crying and snuggling with Mr. Cake and the foals a third your age? Wherever they came from, I don't think Derpy was expecting it because I saw some guarded shock from her. Slightly raised foreleg, creased brow, twitch in an ear - speaking of which, where did this 'read pony' crap come from all of the sudden? I sure as hell couldn't read humans the same way at home.
"I'm ... a special pony that's interested in other special ponies." She smiled in a sort-of pleasant way. Then I saw teeth. That's pretty normal from a pony but ... oh. OH DAMN. I had my 'pants-wetting fear' in check. Just barely. Either I was being hunted by some secret spy-pony sent by Celestia herself or Derpy was a pedo. I was seriously hoping it was spy-pony. I can deal with spooks better than child-touchers. "I'm going to be very keen on what you have to say, Bruce."
"Alright! Free sandwiches!" A shout from the doorway snapped both Derpy and my heads up as a few ponies trotted into the room. Including Doctor Sight, Bon Bon, Lyra and ... Fluttershy?!
After a few minutes of the group getting refreshments and sorting ourselves into chairs, I found myself stuck between the golden eyed hawk-pony on the left and Spring on my right. Fluttershy was on the other side of Spring, then Lyra, Bon Bon, unknown-ponies one and two, some gryphon and a cow. Yes. A regular Jersey cow - bell included. Or was it a Holstein? A how-now brown-cow regardless. They talk and I just hadn't met one yet. Finally, Doctor Sight was off along the side of the room for some reason - probably to keep tabs on me. The lucky doctor was lounging on the plush couch while the rest of us were stuck on these hard wooden folding bench-things. Sitting like dogs, with stiff front legs. At least I was. A few of the others had stretched out along the benches but I didn't want my ass hanging out in easy reach of anyone.
As we got settled, my eyes kept wandering over to the singular gryphon I'd seen. He was a skinny sort - not beanpole thin, just a bit on the small-ish side of things. Like he enjoyed starving himself as a hobby. Ok, very thin. Did not help his case that the paper plate he was holding had been overfilled to the point of spillage. Do you not have food where you live man? Still, gryphons are cool right? He and the cow had come in together and they seemed to stand just a bit closer than I would have given a predator and his food-object. I was waiting for the main course to be served, hoping I'd get the chuck roast! Not really but a man can dream of steak, can't he?
Oh god, I was thinking about steaks now. Saliva glands, stop it. Cows talk here.
Swallowing my meat-based cravings, I gave the gryphon a good second over as the chatty ponies settled into their chairs and murmured in conversation. He was just sitting there. Aren't gryphons supposed to be aggressive meat-eaters or something? Killing and eating their way through life, screeching and yelling 'dweeb' every five seconds? Not him, though. Nope, just sitting there like he wasn't some strange fantasy meat-eating creature from Greco-Roman myth. Like it was normal. I'll give him one thing though - gryphons? Coolest. Things. Ever! Pony pelts kinda get 'samey' after a while but the way his feathers and lion-pelt blended was something else entirely. It's like the white 'eagle' part just stopped but the feathers kind of made the transition into his black pelt smoother than I'd assumed. It was surreal and hella awesome looking. Except he had a mustache on his beak! How does that even work? He noticed me staring, I guess, because he looked once and then avoided looking at me again. Jerk. Stupid cool jerk.
The two as-yet unnamed ponies were pretty uninspired, color-wise. A cutie mark of a quill on a pale blue coat for the earth pony stallion and one of rainclouds on light yellow on the unicorn - yeah, huge leap of logic to figure out what they were doing here. Bon Bon was glancing around the room but I kept drawing her eyes - please don't be another potential-pedo - Lyra was her mint-green excitable self and Fluttershy ... was a bit more animated than usual. Hell, she and Lyra had struck up a conversation. The specifics were lost in the light drone of conversation but I did notice Fluttershy glancing my way once or twice and Lyra - did not look pleased as the hum of conversation continued.
One thing I did notice was the fact that other than a cursory glance, all present were looking pointedly away from me save for Bon Bon. Like I was a leper. I haven't even said anything yet, come on! Did I really cause that much hate and discontent? Was I really such a bad pony? I was about to sink into another spiral of self-hate when Spring cleared her throat. The gentle murmur of conversation wound down and all eyes switched to her - I held my tongue. Yes, literally. With my teeth.
"Alright, group, we have two new creatures joining us today." Spring had gone into 'gentle counselor' mode - complete with half-moon happy-eyes - though I noted her phrasing. "We'll start today's session off with a couple different rules.
"First, we have a little colt with us," she motioned to me with a hoof and I felt my face flush a bit as eyes flicked to me, "so no discussing 'naughty' things. We'll cover that next week when he's not here, ok?" Bon Bon grumbled but she seemed to be the only one. Lyra reached over and patted her hoof with an apologetic smile. Huh. What was that about, I had no idea. Well, I had an idea but no clue why Bon Bon was the one upset.
"Secondly, Doctor Sight will also be joining us today," a hoof once more pointed out the unicorn head-shrinker, who waved in response, "to help our new littlest member settle in, ok? But the good doctor is just like me - we can talk about anything we want to here without fear or judgement. Ok?" A round of nods - some more hesitant than others - later and Spring smiled.
"Great! Let's all introduce ourselves so we're all on the same page. I'm Spring and I'm a pegasus."
"Hello Spring." My eyes bugged out as seven voices spoke in sing-song tune. It was a cult! Everyone except Derpy and I repeated a mantra which seemed to be drilled into their skulls. A droning monotone that was so rehearsed that it hurt. Something that bespoke of tortured repetition and beatings. "We love who you are, both inside and out."
It was horrible. Spring was going to start a cult to take over Equestria from the inside, setting herself up as the Counselor-Goddess of Ponykind! We were doomed! A quick nod from Spring and she looked directly at me. Oh god, I don't want to drink the Kool-Aid! It was Heaven's Gate all over again!
"Bruce?"
"Huh?" And than all eyes were riveted on me! Quick, you can do this brain! Don't mess this-oh, who am I kidding? I gaped a bit while making the oddest noises in an attempt to force out something coherent. 'Bwuh,' 'garf,' and 'qwuee' were only a few of the more interesting ones. Her smile never wavered. All those eyes, staring at me ... waiting for a slip so they could drown themselves in my blood. Or at least titter at my embarrassment. Either-or by this point. After stuttering, gulping and squeaking a few times - and getting 'daww'ed at by everyone but the predator-pony next to me as she fought to control her subconscious terror-induced wing-flare - I managed to find my voice. "I'm Bruce."
"A-a-and?" Oh. Oh no. Spring motioned for me to continue and I found my eyes darting towards Lyra. Who looked a bit nervous herself. This wasn't going to end well. I looked around for an escape and actually considered trying to cry - not a big stretch by that point in time - just to get out of the group. The door was closed for privacy and other than Spring's desk, there was little to hide behind. I was trapped. I swallowed my fear. No way out, walls closing in, fake-love too thick, can't breathe. "Bruce, it's ok. We don't judge."
"I'm a human?" I finally squeaked out as softly as I could. It was more reaction than intentional but it seemed to be what she wanted because she stroked my head gently afterwards. My ears flipped down as the 'mantra of promised death' began.
"Hello Bruce. We love who you are, inside and out." Yeah, 'love' you too guys. I rolled my eyes - only partially in fear - and let them wander across the group. Their faces were blank, their eyes were empty - it was like staring into the souls of the damned. Save two. A semi-familiar mint green unicorn and her beige-ish earth pony friend. There, I was treated to the sight of Lyra's face turning from nervous hope to resigned horror. Why would she ... wait, Bon Bon was now staring at me. Why did she look hungry? Seriously, she was giving me the creepiest smile ever.
"Hi, I'm Derpy and I'm ... confused." Derpy was acting her part marvelously now that she wasn't twitching in terror. She had the nervous habits down pat - even the blush - but I was on to her game. Or maybe she was just as creeped out as I was. At least she wasn't screaming about brainwashing. "I think I'm a pegasus but maybe I'm not ... I just don't know."
"What went wrong," I mumbled under my breath. Sorry, she didn't say it and it's a tradition to over-use notable phrases.
"Hello Derpy. We love you ..." This time, I joined in if only to stop from staring horror-stricken at Bon Bon's semi-feral grin. Lyra had been tapping the earth pony in her shoulder in an attempt to get her eyes away from me but it wasn't working. Staring, burning eyes - hungry eyes. It didn't help Bon Bon was a bit of a 'large' mare either. And was that cheese dust around her hooves? Oh god, she noticed me looking at her!
"Hello, I'm Mirabel and I'm a cow." Thank god! At least someone in this room was sane. "I'm here to support my roost-er, my stallion."
What? She reached over and lovingly stroked the suddenly not-as-cool gryphon's shoulder. And he smiled in return! He stroked her hoof with his talon! You're not supposed to love the cow, you're supposed to eat her! The fact his beak was smiling ended rational thought for a moment.
"Wha-eh, We love ...," I slipped into the little cult-chant after stuttering through my mental break. Now I see why Spring has 'the chant of death.' It kills gasps of confusion and disbelief dead. Clever girl. Still creepy as hell though. Didn't help my brain was shut down from Smile McBeakerson. It beak, how is smile?
"Hello, my given name is Gerald Rouleau but I prefer to be called Iron Hoof and I," he proudly put one talon to his chest with his wings fluffing behind him, "am a pegasus stallion."
Smiling beak aside, I could believe that. As the chant left my mouth almost mechanically, I pondered each situation in turn - starting with the weirdo gryphon. Given that Equestria has some weird 'Americanada' vibe to it, it makes total sense the other races that lived here would want to be ponies. And to be honest I would trade with him if that was a possibility - talons seem better than hooves - but I had things to get back to and couldn't play around in ponyland. Heck, going through puberty again might be a good deal to him. Get some of that baby-fat back.
"My name is Inkie," said the earth pony stallion, "and I am a unicorn." Bastard! What's wrong with being a dirt pony?!
Wait, wait - that came out wrong. I meant earth pony. And why am I angry anyway? Being a pony sucked regardless, why would the thought of somepony not liking the whole 'no hands' thing make me feel angry like that? I tried to blink away my anger as the chant washed around me. Where did that it come from anyway? What is going on?
"I'm Rain Gust." I so wanted to say 'Hi Rain Gust.' AA really gets you into that sort of swing, ya know? I stuck with the counselor-approved chant instead. "I'm a pegasus and don't forget it." Yeah, that much was obvious, what with her weather-centric mark. Really aggressive mare, that one. She struck me as a Rainbow Dash-esque sort of girl. Except more violent - no, not violent. Her posture was aggressive but it was a defensive sort of aggression. Head a bit lowered, one hoof more extended than the other for a charge but nervous as well. Tail flicking, ears down - brain, stop it.
"I'm Sweetie Drops," the pony formally-known as Bon Bon said as I gaped at her. When did this change happen? Then, she winked at me. A thousand tons of NOPE. I clamped my mouth shut and I saw Spring and Lyra's mouths curve just slightly into a couple of frowns at that. Fluttershy didn't seem all that happy at it either. Their target didn't notice, oblivious to the negative reactions her socially-awkward attitude was getting her. "Though I prefer my real name, Dulcinea. And I'm a human too."
Woo! Now I'm dizzy. Oh, hey Spring, Derpy ... and hello floor. Ow.
"Bruce?" I rubbed my face as I waited for the room to stop spinning. I heard a murmur of conversation but ignored it in favor of the dull ache in my head. The carpet was surprisingly comfortable despite the fact that being on my back let everything hang out. Self-consciousness hadn't managed to catch up with me yet so I just let it be. As hooves gently gathered me up and into my chair, I once more wondered how my life ended up like this.
Oh wait, that would be booze. Or someone pulling a massive prank.
"I'm fine, I'm fine ... just a bit surprised, is all." I waved off the pair of grey hooves ... wait, grey? Yup, grey. Derpy sheepishly smiled as she stopped fussing over me, patting my head for good measure. I gave her the slightest of nods and turned back to the staring group of, uh, 'creatures.' Who were trying very hard not to stare at me. Except Sweetie Drops and Spring - the first frowning petulantly and the second with a slightly deeper frown.
"I'm sorry, I didn't think, uhm, that I'd meet another human ..." My ears flipped down in apology unconsciously and I trailed off into silence.
After a few awkward seconds of frowny-faced mares eying me, Spring nodded. 'Dulcinea' 'harumph'ed and crossed her fore legs. I think I heard her mumble something about 'casual' or something but I was still rather shell shocked by the strange turn of events. Well, you know - for a given value of strange.
"Uh, I'm Lyra," the minty pony said in an amazingly sweet voice with a clarity any singer would have died for, "and I'm a unicorn. I'm here to support my 'humanfriend' Dulcinea."
I bit my tongue - again - before I could correct the mistake. 'Dulcinea' lost a bit of her funk at Lyra's declaration and after tossing a smirk my way, reached out to squeeze the unicorn's hoof with her own. Didn't Pinkie say Lyra was the obsessed one? Fandom, you've failed me! Again! You're never going to get the keys to the car at this rate, young man. And Pinkie is grounded.
"I'm Fluttershy," our own butter-yellow pegasus said in a louder-than-normal voice, "and I'm an earth pony." Say what? I thought she was just here to keep an eye on me! This wasn't what the fandom promised me at all! What is with these crazy ponies?
"Bruce." Spring hissed at me as the chant wrapped up. Both her and Derpy were giving me varying levels of stink-eye.
"Huh?" My eyes grew wide as I realized I said that last part out loud. Not loudly enough to be heard by most but just enough to be heard by those nearest to me. Lowering my voice - and my head - I turned to make sure my voice hadn't reached far. "Oh my god Spring, that is not what I meant. At all. I just didn't think, I mean with how, er, well she flies, I didn't-" All eyes were on me as my voice sputtered out. Blue fur had nothing on flushed-red embarrassment. Spring grabbed my hoof and turned a fragile and twitchy smile to the group.
"Please excuse us for a moment."
"No, Spring." I yanked my hoof back. Fluttershy was looking between the two of us confused, a feeling which only grew as my attention shifted fully to her. "Miss Fluttershy, I want to apologize. When ... I heard what you said, it surprised me and I said something not at all nice. I'm glad I didn't say it loud enough to be overheard by the group but I want to say I'm sorry regardless."
"Oh. Oh!" She looked between the frowning Spring and I a few times before the confusion melted and that beaming and happy face I knew and loved came back. A true smile from a kind mare. "That's ok, Bruce. It's weird to some p-creatures I know but I really do think I should have been born an earth pony."
With Spring not-so-subtly keeping an eye on me from one side and a very interested Derpy managing to keep her observations more calm on the other - as well as that unicorn doctor scribbling away on a notebook off to the side - I returned Fluttershy's smile with the closest approximation I could manage. It seemed to work.
"Well," Spring says, "now that we've introduced ourselves, we're going to discuss our lives and how we've managed to accept ourselves with love and tolerance. Who wants to go first?"
"I just want to be loved for who I am on the inside," 'Iron Hoof' the gryphon-stallion blew noisily into a handkerchief as his mate Mirabel patted him lovingly on his shoulder. I, on the other hoof, was busy covering my ears and grimacing in pain at his wails. Ten minutes. Ten whole minutes of this idiot blubbering on about how no one believed him or accepted who he said he was. And it never ended. I wouldn't have minded - really I wouldn't have - except for the fact it was a single situation that was obviously blown way out of proportion. He was - oh wait, he's going on about it again.
"Can you believe it? That I wouldn't make a 'proper stallion' no matter how hard I try? That cruel and hateful unicorn! That's the last time I buy anything from that store." Hooonk. Yeesh. Fluttershy had buried her muzzle in her hooves and I couldn't blame her. Turns out a gryphon's body-type isn't like a stallion's and give it to Rarity to point that out to the poor deluded fool. Cue chain of events that ended in crying. I seriously doubted his exact telling of things but, hell, Derpy was some weird predator-pony so why not? "A-a-and she has such nice clo-o-o-othes!"
Now everyone was a bit uncomfortable as he wailed anew. Even Mirabel was rolling her eyes at his theatrics. I grit my teeth and let the howls wash over me. Like a stream, like a stream, like a babbling brook, like a soft soothing voice asking if maybe he had mis-
"-interpreted what she said?" Spring's question drew me out of my 'babbling brook calming exercise' gently. Surprisingly so - she never looked so professional. Really. I didn't get that slight uncomfortable vibe she normally has around me, no stuttering or nervousness. Or pity. She was in her element and it showed. I watched as she worked, a bit entranced. "Remember, no matter who you are on the inside, the physical world is what it is. You are a stallion inside, Iron - but your body shape is that of a gryphon."
"I, I know." Honk. Mirabel gave Spring the most thankful look I've ever seen a cow give a person. Admittedly, I haven't seen many cows and fewer that could actually communicate but it was still there.
"Styles can be adjusted - Rarity is one of the best at that - so she may have misunderstood you as well." Spring gave the confused gryphon a thousand dollar smile. "It might be a good idea to go there tomorrow and try to explain to her what exactly you meant. No matter what, know that we all love you for who you are, inside and out."
The thin gryphon nodded at Spring, still dabbing at his eyes with that well-used handkerchief but I noticed a thankful smile on his ... beak regardless. With a quiet huff, Fluttershy let out a breath I hadn't realized she was holding. Yeah, having one of your group therapy members pissed at your best friend might not be the best way of winning awards. Spring ignored the loud exhale and looked around the group with her ears perked and her arms set wide apart. She was 'open' to everyone, ready to listen - stop it!
"Is anyone else ready to share any other experiences with the group?" Spring's voice dragged me out of my ranting fight against whatever was making me note this body language and back to reality. Thankfully - other than some sniffles from our resident not-cool gryphon - the room was mercifully quiet. Until Sweetie Drops started to wave her hoof in the air like she just didn't care.
"Oh! OOH!" And grunt. Lyra flashed me a brittle smile as her marefriend became really energetic.
"Anyone?" Spring kept her voice upbeat and happy despite how she was pointedly not looking at Sweetie. I couldn't blame her a bit. Though I think I was enjoying the sight of that large-ish mare flailing about with way too much energy than was healthy. She was really getting into it. And that let me see that despite how close she looked to Mrs. Cake, there was little muscle underneath all that weight. "Anyone at all?"
"OOOH! OOOH! Spring! Spring!" The poor earth pony mare was about jumping out of her chair with excitement. This was about the time I got nervous. She was a human ... type ... pony. And she was really excited. And I was the second human-pony thing in the room. Despite my nervousness, I was a bit curious and was about to poke at Spring when a certain unicorn-pegasus-mare-thing cleared her throat.
"Uh," Rain Gust looked between Sweetie and Spring for a second before lifting a hoof hesitantly.
"Rain Gust! You have something to share?" Spring was grinning like a madmare at the poor unicorn-pegasus and I was not alone in leaning a bit away from her. I heard a faint 'aww' sound from Sweetie's seat as she lowered her hoof. Poor dear.
"Yeeeeaaaah." Rain looked from the grinning madmare to the pout-y humare once more before shrugging. "Well, the tribalism in our government is horseapples."
"Rain, remember our little member." Spring patted my head. Thanks Spring - that comment about 'little members' was really necessary. And horseapples? Really? I guess it means the same thing but I was called out for using the human term - I know I was. Gah, these ponies and their pidgin language! "Did your application to Cloudsdale U get denied again?"
"Yeah, and it's horseapples!" Before Spring could remind her to control her language again, Gust stomped a hoof on the bench. She snarled and I swear I saw her shoulders twitch as if she was trying to make wings that weren't there flare. "They have cloudwalking spells! Perfectly safe!
"This stupid bone-stick," she gave her own horn a good thwack - forever killing any thought in my head that it might be an erogenous zone, "is good for that at least! And the way they hide their techniques from non-feathered ponies! It's disgusting! And another thing - those herdless flank-kissers-"
And it continued. I heaved a sigh and gave Fluttershy an apologetic glance. The poor dear was trying very hard to see how small a pony could get. For the second time that night, that poor mare was feeling embarrassed for something. Spring was trying very hard to stem the tide of colorful pony-curses, Doctor Sight was giving the group a look that went ignored by all and everyone else was just sitting there with bored looks on their faces. This is normal, Spring?
"-that hard to accept a non-feathered pony." By the end of her tirade, Rain Gust's sides were heaving and she had a bit of a manic look on her face. She had a bit of a love-hate relationship with pegasi I guess. Spring had given up somewhere around 'father rutting mules' and the rest of the group seemed surprisingly unfazed by the whole ordeal - only we three newcomers were a bit taken aback by it all. Well, not me. I've heard worse.
"Well, Rain, it looks like we'll need to work on channeling your anger into appropriate venues," Spring said as she tried to salvage what was left of the meeting. The panting and twitching unicorn-pegasus slowly lowered herself to her bench all the while mumbling about 'tribalist featherbrains.' Spring cleared her throat, giving the group one of her fake-smiles. "Well, anyone else have anything to share with the group?"
"OOH! OOOH! Spring! SPRING!" Sweetie was really getting into it. Spring grimaced, her eyes pleading with all the others around her for intervention. A subtle shake of his head from Inkie set the tone of the room.
With a sigh, Spring facehooved. "Yes, Dulcinea. Do you have something to share with the group?"
"Yes," Sweetie giggle-snorted. I'm a bit of a nerd - hell, I like My Little Pony - but that was something beyond nerd. It circled around to become double-nerd. This poor mare was beyond a doubt one of the nerdiest of nerds I have ever met. I continued my internal critique of her lifestyle choices as she continued her giggle-snort-filled rampage. "I just wanted to talk about the latest in Ink Well's visions." No. No, no, no, no, no! No-no! Visions? Did she really call them visions? I joined the group in a collective groan though I very much doubt for the same reason.
"Swee-," Spring cut herself off and rubbed her eyes. Her smile had wilted just a tini-tiny bit. And so did Sweetie's. She looked really sad with her ears flipped down like that, I wanted to give her a hug but I was afraid of cheese dust contaminants. "I mean Dulcinea. This isn't exactly the most appropriate place to discuss that. What about a current happening in your life or how you've reconciled your internal and external selves?"
"Aww, but Spring!" She motioned towards me with a slightly orange hoof, her face bright again. "There's another human here!"
"Sorry, sister," I grumbled just loud enough to be heard, "I'm not from Ink's world."
"What?" Sweetie's face fell in stages. First her ears drooped - confusion, distinct from flipped-down debasement. Her brow furrowed upward - concern. Her mouth turned down in a frown - disappointment. Her head pulled back slightly - multiple signals but this one seemed tied to disbelief. Her hoof retracted back to her side, though it curved towards her chest in a protective or closed off manner. The others of the group had turned to me, all eyes blinking in confusion. I was more focused on the earth pony mare, though. I hurt her. Just slightly but it was there. Worst Pony.
"Yeah, I'm from a high-technology world, not a fant-" I stopped myself before I could finish that sentence though Sweetie's ears flipped down at the first syllable, "I mean, uhm, what would you classify that as? Medieval?"
"Uhhh, I really haven't thought about it." And that was that. Sweetie was looking at me like every other pony had after I told them my story. She didn't need the details, I wasn't from 'her' human land and that was enough.
"Well! That's an interesting take on Ink's work." The 'unicorn' earth pony was looking at me with interest now. He seemed to be weighing me in his head. "How do you get from Ink's re-imagining of the early Classical period to high technology like that?"
"The normal way? Trial, error and war?" Oops. Cat's out of the bag now. I blinked as Spring perked up a bit at this. Why ... did I even care anymore? I heard the 'observer' pony scribbling frantically on a notepad in the background as well.
"Well, the human level of technology is very low compared to ponies." Lyra's voice was amazing! She had to have been classically trained to be able to speak like that - nothing like the few times I think I might have heard her voice. I gazed at her with a bit of wonder - and just a bit of envy - as she spoke. "How did the humans transition to a modern-era level?"
"HA!" Yes, I actually said the word 'ha.' I couldn't help myself. "This is all old hat - trains? Who uses trains anymore?"
"YES, well," Spring interrupted the pair of human-lovers - to be fair, the three of us - before they could continue, "this is fascinating but let's focus a bit more mares, stallions and sundry?"
"Spring, get the stick out of your ass." That wasn't me this time! Sweetie 'Dulcinea' Drops had as bad a vocabulary as I did! I wasn't alone! My opinion of that mare ratcheted up a few notches. Though I must admit, I did cheer. Just a bit.
"Bruce."
"Yes Ms. Meadows." I sat back down. I kept the smile though despite the stink-eye I was given. Spring frowned and turned her attention back to Sweetie Drops.
"Sweetie, I know you're happy to find another human and I know you want to talk all about ... that," Spring waved a hoof halfheartedly in the air, "but this is a session about all sorts of creatures - not just humans. And please don't curse. Especially at me." Spring pulled out the hurt-mother look on Sweetie Drops.
"Sorry Spring - I'm just excited a bit about finding another human," she turned her head a bit and mumbled something to Lyra. Who blanched and swatted her marefriend in the shoulder. Who then poked her back.
Spring cleared her throat and smiled warmly at the mare as the two ponies started to trade half-hearted blows. "Let's try to keep it contained, okay Dulcinea? Anyone else have anything to share? Perhaps about how you've found a way to balance the you-inside with the you-outside?"
"Uhm." The quiet voice of Fluttershy was barely loud enough to overcome the quiet bickering of the resident human-fanatics. At her voice, all but two pairs of eyes were riveted on her and the poor mare almost retreated under her mane at the attention. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she peeked her face out from the waterfall of hair at the smiling and supportive circle of creatures. Including me because I want to die of a cute-induced heart attack. Better than lung canc-oh wait. That and how can you not find Fluttershy adorable? "W-well, my friends have been very supportive of my, uhm, difference. They don't understand it but they support me and my earth pony friends have been very thoughtful in helping me understand my inner-self."
The sudden clopping of Spring's hooves startled the poor thing deeper into her mane and about gave me a heart attack. "Very good Fluttershy! Very good, I'm so glad that you've found a proper way of expressing your inner self." Spring looked at me with a smile. "What about you, Bruce?"
"Spring ... no. Just no." Facehoof time. With my hoof covering my snout and my eyes closed, I couldn't exactly see the group and at that point in time didn't want to. "I got here three days ago, I've been running around like an idiot, no one believes a word I say so - no. No, I have no coping skills to offer the group except 'ignore it and hope it goes away.' And that doesn't work out too well."
I heard snorts from a few different directions, including Sweetie's. Spring sighed - a sound I've grown used to. Before she could speak however, I heard a distinctly fake cough from Doctor Sight's direction. I looked up to catch a 'we need to talk' look from the good voyeur doctor and a grimace from Spring. She addressed the group nervously. "Well, why don't we take a short break while I talk with Doctor Sight?"
My terrified golden eyes snapped open and became fixated on my coming doom. A certain beige mare who appeared to be weighing me in her mind. And the apologetically smiling mint-green unicorn sitting next to her.
"Ah crap." At least I didn't make it worse by cursing, right?
"Uh, Fluttershy?" Spring looked askance at the yellow mare next to her. "Can you, uh-" She trailed off but her head jerked towards me a bit. Fluttershy herself looked slightly confused for a half breath before it dawned on her what Spring meant.
"Oh yes, of course Spring." Fluttershy looked at me with those doey eyes. "I'll keep an eye on him." With a nod, Spring broke the Circle of Friends and trotted in Doc No-Sight's direction as a small group of mares coalesced around me - Sweetie Drops, Lyra, and Derpy with Fluttershy sliding up next to me in Spring's seat.
"Hey 'Bruce'," Sweetie Drops smirked at me - ignoring the prodding her marefriend was giving her shoulder, "as the resident human expert, I thought I'd come over and say 'hi' to another fellow human."
"Uhh, hi?" I suddenly really wanted the group to be back together. It was awkward and uncomfortable but at least it was safe - this was just awkward and uncomfortable. Spring was keeping an eye on me - she glanced back at least four times in the few seconds we had been apart - but this was different. I had no back-up, I had no one to help smooth the inevitable stupidity to come from my cake-hole, I had no one to hide behind, I had ... a wing draped across my back. A yellow wing.
"It's okay, Bruce," Fluttershy's calm voice cut through my self-induced panic attack with ease, "you're safe here. No one is going to hurt you."
Damn this pony body and damn the instincts that came with it but - it helped. Despite the confusion and the weirdness of the last few days, I knew that Fluttershy was safe. I took a deep, calming breath and smiled at the pair of human-enthusiasts before me. I most certainly did not scoot closer to Fluttershy and there was no shivering involved.
"I like to think I've got humanity down pat but hell, there's a universe of talking ponies so having multiples of ape-men doesn't sound too far fetched." That got an arched eyebrow from Sweetie but Lyra's face lit up like someone told her it was Hearth's Warming all over again.
"Exactly!" Lyra pointed at me with that extremely wide smile ponies do sometimes. She did this little two-hoof dance and shivered. I leaned a bit away. "Oooh, I just knew the Multiworld Theory of Harmony was right! I just knew it!"
"Okay ..." I watched her jig in place for a moment. She was nerding out more than Sweetie. With a quiet cough and a squeeze from Fluttershy, I interrupted Lyra's happy-dance before she could start babbling magic nonsense. "Soo, what's this about Ink Well anyway?" Sweetie perked up a bit.
"Well, her worlds are so well designed that they have to be visions from another world." She leaned towards me and did that fake-whisper I'd noticed from other ponies. I leaned back a bit at the cheese-breath but she ignored me. "Is it any surprise that Ink Well began publishing only a few years after Princess Luna's return? I heard that Ink Well was the Princess and she was sharing the hidden knowledge that Princess Celestia was keeping from ponies 'for our own good.'"
Lyra bopped her marefriend on the shoulder again - thing must be bruised by now - and frowned. I heard a rustle from my right and a quick glance showed Derpy's wings getting nervous. And I was putting more money on 'spy-pony' than creeper. I didn't keep my eyes on her though I was sure she noticed my glance. "'Dulcy' stop it. Ink Well's visions come from the multiverse, not some forbidden knowledge."
"Ugh, Lyra-a," Bon Bon - no, Sweetie Drops - voice changed pitch ... and accent. And tone. It was like some other voice actor stepped in - I resolved not to think about it lest I loose what little of my sanity remained. Lyra rolled her eyes while Sweetie leaned in and stage-whispered to her. "Don't shoot me down in front of the colt, you're making me look bad."
"Sooo ..." I cleared my throat before the two love-birds could get into another pissing contest. I had the feeling that Lyra wore the pants of that relationship - so to speak - but Sweetie was the bigger of the two 'humares.' It got their attention, anyway. "I'm, uh, not from ... Ink Well's 'vision' so maybe you guys could give me a run-down?"
They turned to each other and mouthed 'guys' with a giggle before Sweetie turned back to me with a smile. "Sure Bruce."
"So let me get this straight." I had a hoof to my head, massaging away the growing headache and trying to save my dwindling sanity. "The Nat'sies of the East overran the Frankish kingdom and set-up a puppet queen while the Bretish of the Isle of Bret held off the attempted invasion of the Nat'sies' 'Liftwurms.' And then the Mericans got involved while the Nat'sies dealt with a tyrant king named Steelman ... and there's also the Red Sun Empire on the other side of the world somehow?"
Nods from the two human-lovers. At some point in time, the entire ensemble of creatures had coalesced around us - including Spring and the doctor - I had paid it no mind because my mind was currently screaming about how damn wrong this series turned out to be. Other than Lyra and Sweetie, though, most seemed content to sit and listen as they sperged about a semi-fictitious account of one of the worst wars humanity had ever had to suffer. As a foal's story.
"I need a drink for this one." Fluttershy reached out and squeezed me gently with her wing, having dropped it at some point in the story.
"It is a scary story, Bruce, and almost too violent for young ears." She and Lyra shot a 'look' at the sheepish mare. Lyra had tried to hush the over-excitable earth pony-slash-human a few times when she started to talk about the 'Death Head Legion' while Fluttershy had desperately tried to cover my ears - a fight I was all-too-willing to ignore since by that point in time I knew exactly where the story was going. Come ON Ink Well! 'Nat'sies'?! And trying to turn World War II into fantasy novel for foals?! I actually felt a bit sick to my stomach over that one.
"It's not that, Fluttershy." I sighed and looked around. Spring was back and was watching me intently - as was that doctor fellow. And everyone else. A bit of red crept up my face as I felt their eyes on me. "It, uh, it's just that it sounds like something from home ... kinda."
"Kinda?" Sweetie quirked an eyebrow at my choice of words.
"Yeah, a war from eighty-odd years ago." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Seventy or so million dead and for what? One mad-man's vision ... and we're still dealing with it in one shape or other."
"Seventy what?" Spring's voice cut through the silence quite cleanly. I looked at her slightly aghast face and shrugged.
"Seventy million, give or take five million or so. Once you hit those types of numbers, it gets really hard to keep track of the bodies." I frowned at her as my mind started to work through what she could be thinking. "And no, I wasn't around for that. I'm thirty, not eighty. It's just - to make a kid's story out of that seems so wrong."
Spring was biting her lip and even Sweetie looked a bit down. Yay me. A few of the creatures looked at each other, confused.
"When you put it that way, I guess it does feel wrong to celebrate the war ..." Sweetie said, her ears drooping a bit. "It seems a bit distant - like it wasn't something that happened. But it did happen, didn't it?" Lyra bumped Sweetie's flank with her own, giving the mare a weak smile.
"You're here now, Sweets." Lyra's voice was gentle and she earned a slight smile in response. I think the idea of that massive war as a real thing really hit them. And now I was thinking about it ...
"Damn." That got a raised eyebrow from Spring but I wasn't going to stop. "I just realized ... it's the same."
"Hmm?" Sweetie was pulled out of her thoughts by my voice and I looked at her - really looked at her. She was plump, sure, but she was real. This was real - really real. These were people of a different shade, with their own lives and their own struggles.
"In my world, this is a cartoon for children but - there's something else." I glanced around the group. Iron Hoof, Rain Gust, my eyes settled on Fluttershy. "The dragon you stared down, that really happened. You - you risked your life. That was a real danger."
The pegasus blushed and nodded. "It was very frightening but I did what I had to do - for my friends."
"How much was changed?" I asked, making Fluttershy's brow crease. "What I saw in my world was you shouting down a bully after it had knocked your friends over - a clean story for kids. And it was over a nap that produced too much smoke. How much of that was different?"
Fluttershy looked a bit taken back by my question but her eyes - confusion above all else.
"Uhm, n-no. No, Bruce." She looked at Spring and I followed, seeing the counselor give a slightly hesitant nod. Fluttershy took a deep breath and I could feel her shiver slightly next to me. "Th-the dragon was terrorizing the countryside. A few farms had already been burnt to the ground and a lot of ponies were hurt. W-we fought him for a day and a half on the mountain and it was only after Twilight and Rainbow Dash had been wounded that, uhm, I lost control."
Silence. Everyone in the group was looking at Fluttershy with shock. She seemed uncomfortable - she was uncomfortable. She had hidden her face behind her mane once more and ... I didn't know what to say. Fandom theories had been thrown out but I almost expected that - this was a whole other story. How much of this world was different than the My Little Pony I had watched? Did Discord do worse than just play really stupid pranks? Did Nightmare Moon rule for weeks as crops failed? Did the parasprites ravage the land for days? How much did I really know about these ponies?
Spring cleared her throat. "Well, we've run out of time this week so why don't we plan an adults-only meeting next time so we can deal with some of the less foal-friendly issues then?"
Nods around and, with a few glances at Fluttershy, the group began to drift towards the door. Sweetie took a step forward, towards me or Fluttershy I didn't know, but a hoof from Lyra stopped her mid-stride and the two mares followed the rest of the group out. Soon, it was only Spring, Fluttershy and myself - and the still-silent doctor. I kept my attention on the brave little pegasus that had stood up to a dragon - a real dragon - but had so much trouble standing up to her fellow ponies.
She gasped as I hugged her.
"You're strong, Fluttershy," I whispered, "stronger than you know."
For a moment, I could only hear the beating of her heart and feel the slight shiver of her form. Then, wings and hooves as she hugged me back.
"Thank you Bruce." She sniffed. "You are too."
Spring wasn't leading me to the hospital room. My question of 'where' was left unanswered save for a sad little smile and I was more nervous than I had been thus far. Was I going to go to youth-jail? Despite the lack of warnings and proper security, I had technically entered an off-limits office. But I wasn't going to run. I wasn't going to panic, despite my worried panting.
I was going to face this like an adult whether my body wanted to or not.
So color me surprised when we entered the hospital lobby and there was only a haggard looking Mr. Cake waiting for us. At our entrance, he looked up with his own sad smile.
"You waited?" The room was empty save a bored looking receptionist - who took one look at me and immediately began playing with a small stack of files on her desk with a worried look on her face. I winced at the motion and hurried past. I didn't need to make things harder on the health workers than necessary. But as I got to Mr. Cake, I noticed a small box at his hooves. It looked like a few things for a colt ... my size.
I stopped mid-step and blinked at the box, and then looked up at him. He was apologetic. And sad. And my stomach dropped out.
"Oh."
He sighed, lowering his head. "I'm sorry Bruce. With everything that's happened, we ... thought it best that Spring find somepony more suited to what you need."
I ... I felt cold. Even with Spring stepping close to me and rubbing my back with a hoof, I felt cold. Though only a few feet remained between me and the stallion that had done so much for me, that had taken me in despite not wanting me and trying so hard to do right by me, I knew there was a chasm between us that would never be bridged. Not really. I swallowed a strangely thick lump in my throat and put on the best smile I could.
"Th-that's alright, Mr. Cake." I finished walking towards him and hesitantly reached a hoof out to his head, raising it back up. He was a bit blurry but that was fine. He didn't deserve the tears in his eyes though. "Thank yo-"
Arms wrapped themselves around me and I hugged back, my words left unfinished. Mr. Cake had been the best thing to happen to me since I ended up here. He was a rock and I lost him. I lost him because I made a really stupid mistake. I didn't sob. And I don't know why his coat was getting wet. Or why my mane was either. But he didn't let go for a long time and I didn't push him away. Eventually, we broke our mutual embrace and shared the same fragile smile.
"You'll always be welcome at Sugarcube Corner, Bruce." There was a flicker of determination in his eyes and I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak. He looked like he was about to say something else - there was so much left unsaid. But he didn't. With one last smile and a gentler squeeze on my shoulder, he turned and trotted out the doors.
And he was gone.
"I'm sorry, Bruce." Spring walked up and sat down beside me. "With ... the situation as it is, the Cakes couldn't-"
"No, Spring," I croaked out. "I'm sorry but I - I know it was my fault. My actions and my choices. It hurts more for that but it is what it is."
She returned to silence but she did place another hoof on my shoulder as I sat there, staring at the hospital doors for far too long. That gangly stallion had put his heart out there and I had done the cruelest thing possible to it - I had let him grow to like me and shattered it. It was late but Spring didn't try to rush me. So I sat, looking out the glass doors towards one of the only ponies that had really just tried to be there for me.
"Come on, Bruce." Spring nudged me with her muzzle. "I ... there's somepony you should meet."
I sighed and nodded. "Let's hope I've learned."
Spring led me back to her 'talking room' with that tiny little box of things on her back in silence. I knew that my new 'foster parent' was there. I was anxious. Really, really anxious. I didn't want the Cakes to have to give me up. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want any of this but above all, I didn't want to hurt anypony else. And I would. I would panic, I would be a dick. I would hurt them.
And for once in my life, I was terrified of that. Of myself.
And then Spring opened the door - to Rarity's nervously smiling face.
"Hello Bruce."
Silence. I face-hooved and sighed as the two mares smiled nervously at each other. This day just kept getting better and better.
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IT'S ALIVE!!!!
You're distracting me from my thesis, I hope your happy, because I sure am!
Finally a new chapter!!!
Time to beam again.
Dragon
Did you have to hire a necromancer?
4034070
Yeah, I got this one to help out.
4034064
You used the right one the first time, but not the second. Huh.
4034142
What?
4034149
You're/Your
I don't put too much hope for Bruce's sanity. This version of Equestria keeps getting more and more inhospitable. Not a vacation destination.
4034157
Damn you're right, I prologize for my abysmal grammar.
I totally lost it at the WWII bit.
Seriously, you owe me a lung.
And where's our Bon-Bon? Changeling! I call changeling!
And now you have to give us the approximate timeline for the new chapter. Or else.
4034236
Some time between four minutes before you read this, and ten minutes after the heat death of the universe.
4034168
I make similar misteaks when I'm tired or hungry.
Holy shit this updated.
Right, now to read 16000 words of pure, unadulterated awesome.
Well shit, it lives...
Or is that alive? I hope it is.
Oh goodie. I missed this story... and now that I got over the irritation I feel at how terribly the ponies are handling things It's gotten much, much better.
4034259
I place my bet on five minutes after the heat-death.
<blinks> And with that, I see the mania that possess ponies is contagious, and screws are loosening all across Equestria demograpics. Seriously, most ponies pathos are amped up to the nth degree, but this... no wonder no one buys Bruce's story
You do not even know how glad i am to see this updated! this was the second story i favorited on this site and it remains one of my top five favorite pony fanfics ever. really hoping to see more soon
Very interesting chapter. Actions have consequences, as hard as they may be to accept. I'm glad you're still working on this story!
Awesome. Worth the wait to be honest. Hope the next one is just as good.
Nice to see this back.
Still waiting on the Celestia/Bruce meeting.
So part way through chapter 30, the mirror scene was freakin' dark man!
The most funnerific, amazingestest, biggestest chapter sofar! I read it trice!
Wow, what a really heavy chapter. And not just because of the length. The revelations. The 'cleaned up' information about what really happened in Equestria. The fact that 2 worlds are sharing visions of each other. Wow. Deep and heavy stuff man. Tragic irony is that the one person to truly learn this truth will never be able to share it with any human or pony.
That was an awesome chapter but wow, I need a drink. My mind is blown
Ack, it's good to see this alive but now I'm distracted from work I need to do. I love how you're creating parallels. I also love the line about advancement being the normal way and the reactions that got from the doctors. I'm also wondering what in the hell they're thinking putting him with Rarity as that seems like a disaster waiting to happen, especially since we have the griffon incident to indicate her level of tact.
I like what chu did with BonBon.
Pedophile Derpy was a lil creepy though. >_>;
I love this story and hope you can continue making wonderful chapters.
back from the dead are we?
I'm so glad that this story came back. This is my first time commenting on it, but I love Bruce's adventures. His adult self being forced into the body of a foal in an MLP universe different from his canon and being treated as a delusional foal in need of a stable family make for a very interesting tale. I cant wait for the next chapter or Sweetie Belle's reaction with having Bruce live with her.
At least you had something to dump.
When I try to write dumps, they actually make chapters shorter.
But I digress.
...
You know, I really should be more surprised at that last part, but I've come to a point where I expect twists and turns from this particular story.
It's like, "Oh hi, Rarity."
...
I forget where I was going with that.
damn I feel for Mr cake.....I could almost hear the Fox and the Hound sad music playing...
When Bruce is finally proven to be Human, I want to see everyone's faces and laugh as their jaws drop lower than the pits of tartarus.
Bruce will be like "I told you so".
Best freakin' ending to any of your chapters
MOAR! 
Bruce the Homewrecker~ How fun!
More updates! Please? I still believe this has some of the most hilarious/believable OC reactions.
Keep up the great work!
Actually I think Bruce will be washing a certain unicorn's mouth out with soap. 4034474
Couldn't even handle Bruce for a day and they have already given up on him. Congrats Cakes, it was probably for the best.
Yay!!! A new chapter!!
Derpy is setting off my changeling radar.
I think you have an error here.
Where exactly did you get the idea of Scootaloo's mom? Last thing I would think of her is an attorney. Bruce, you're throwing matches inside of a firework factory without even realizing it.
I wait for a couple of months.
I still detest Meadow.
There is little hope for a safe return
and so this lie spun by ponies will corrode, burn and spin further.
until nothing remains of this reality; made to falter.
How dreadfully mad.
Awaiting further releases.
So what exactly made the Cakes decide to give up on fostering Bruce? The breaking-and-entering? Or the "abused as an arcane focus to spy upon them all" bit? Considering the reactions of the ponies, is this now common knowledge?
My god was this chapter amazing, though i am so freaking surprised that rarity is bruce's next foster parent O.o. That is sooo out of there and didn't see it coming.
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>>Pergamentum
You did read that other chapter that had Derpy, right?
Time to re-read the last chapters; it's been so long... I remember next to nothing about the story.
When their no more room in hell