• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

The 24th Pegasus

Author of the Commander Hurricane series (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and overall world building fanatic. Join my discord!


Comments ( 235 )



Or not. Just a suggestion.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Holy shit, dude. What a fucking amazing opening. Pulling me right in. Like, wow, the darkness and drama is just... mmmph.

Hot damn, it's live. It's finally live. The year long journey was well worth it. Readers, stick to this amazing journey. It's well worth it. I'm looking forward to seeing this come out, and following along on the journey.


Oh, dayum. This looks to be quite a ride.

Lather. Hah! That's great! That made me giggle.

You really already have me hooked into the main character's head and vocabulary. I usually don't care for first person stuff, but this is just excellent. Not to mention all the little movements of ears and just... horse like nature!

God damn it. And to think you have the whole story ready and I have to wait half a year to finish it? I love the wing movements, the drama, the quick dialogue, this is just...

Fuck this is as good as any novel I've ever read.

I would write more but I'm just speechless.

I could only widen my eyes as the spinning piece of metal it was focused on glowed bright red, warped, then shattered into hundreds of red hot shards—one of which found a new home in the soft flesh of my cheek.

Not exactly the perfect beginning to my story, really, but at least it sets the tone.

Heh, ain't that the truth.


Well, you've got me hooked already. That opening just pulls you straight in and sets the scene perfectly.

*Reads prologue*
Oh, this is gonna be fun.

I saw the sci-fi tag and wasn't sure about reading it. That is a mistake I would gravely regret.

Loving it so far. This is going to be sweet.

You have my full attention.
Can definitely taste the Borderlands and Halo vibes; fallout is obvious.

Have only read the prologue and chapter 1... I can feel the shit heading for the fan... The smell is in the space air.


Being suddenly abandoned light years away from your people's origin without so much as an explanation has got to be one of the loneliest feelings you could ever have.

Well, you done caught my interest. Really curious to see what that message actually says...

Well... don't want to disappoint you, but that's not going to be answered for a long time.

It's why they call it The Silence with capital lettering and everything. Nopony knows what happened, and this far removed, nopony really cares. They never knew what it was like to have an overlord planet fostering their growth. All they know is that they're alone on this world, for better or for worse.

Every Friday! Just hang on between updates!


This is super exciting already. I can't wait until more comes out!

If this is anything like "a song of storms", I feel sorry for the characters.

I don't know, they seem pretty happy and content to me.


If this: 7860124 is any indication...

RUN. RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DON'T LOOK BACK. But only after you finish reading.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This is probably the first time I've liked/faved a story after only reading its prologue. I am very much looking forward to this story.

Doom is fast on the horizon for that whole town, the next town, and then the third town.
The total population decreasing sharply with each town and major(also minor) plot point.
No background character is safe, no main character is safe... and even though Ember is technically still alive near the end, I am not fully convinced she wont be dead for at least a little bit of time at some point.

RIP populace of Auris, we hardly knew ye...

*Cue PTSD flashbacks of the Red Cloud War and subsequent fall of Cirra followed by mass exodus, moments of starvation and betrayal, as well as supernatural fuckery. *

Damn Ember, I feel for you. Being in the crosshairs of a mother angered is never the best place to be.


...That certainly went from 0 to 100 in a goddamn hurry.


And so begins the blood bath that is 24's writing...
Now just wait till it starts happening to characters that you have grown attached to...

It is already way too hard waiting a whole week to get my fix.
Damn you and your mastery of the cliff hanger and tension building!

So begins the body count of The 24th Pegasus' works.
How many million must die before the story ends?

Damn you and your skill for killing off characters in emphatic fashion!
I'll start keeping the known body count of characters. 1.






So the cruel mercenary leader is revealed. Who was he hired by? Why do they want the code? What happens to Ember? We'll find out in the next chapter!

Keep it going!:rainbowdetermined2:

And here I thought what Typhoon went through in Snow and Shadows was bad.
Emotionally Important Character Deaths: 1
I expect that number to rise very soon though


Also, fuck dude.

Im so happy now whenever I realize its Friday because I get to end the day with this.

>Whistles happily because its Friday
>Checks story updates

Here we go again

This story went from 100 to about 200 in just a few thousand words.

And so, the quest begins...

The worst thing about this story is having to wait a week for the next chapter.

Yeesh, talk about rotten and tricky goddamn luck.

Ember's equipment:
One magazine for the SM45
A crude local map drawn by a member of the Crimson
One set of saddlebags
+1 scruffily wizened stallion(potential friend?)

Shrikes look terrifying and it's only wildlife. I wonder what other creatures call Auris home?

Well, we are now at the point where she has hit rock bottom((pun intended) Well rock bottom so far, 24 has a way with finding different ways of making a character suffer.) We have also found our guide who will give us the exposition of the world outside of the mountain top, as well as our heading for the next leg of the journey.... or he will just take us to more pain.... Till next Friday, I guess.

You ain't seen nothing yet, kiddo

If the main characters were voiced, what would they sound like?

Well, shoot...so much for finding someplace completely safe. But, at least it's a start.:applejackunsure:

Chaff is adorable. But of course, trouble will follow Ember like a bad penny.

Town one destroyed and everyone dead [✓]
Town two... [?]

She may just need to burn her whole flank off at this pace.

This place sounds so nice and peaceful.
I've got five to one odds that won't last one chapter. Any takers?

I'm honestly not sure. I have difficulties putting names to voices when I try to think of what actors would be good for characters. To me, they just sound like themselves, and I've written so much in Ember's head that she's just herself. I'm interested to know how other people think they sound, though.

Nice header pic.

Heckuva sidequest Hazel just dropped on Ember there. Keeping an eye on which Crimson to not kill is going to be a tall order. Moreso, how is she going to approach him without risking getting her face blown off? Hopefully he's not encountered in the middle of a firefight, regardless.

I think I was seeing a pattern here. “And that was about tenyears ago.”

Missing a space there.

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