• Member Since 9th May, 2016
  • offline last seen Sunday

Tropical Applejack


All bubble-blowing fillies will be beaten senseless by every able bodied pony in the bar (bar).

T
Source

After a rather fun day, an incident occurs between Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, bringing them apart. The events over the next two days will dramatically shape their lives and their relationship with one another, but which direction will it all lead?

First uploaded fanfic. I thought shipping was as good a place to start as any. :twilightsmile:

Note that the "Sex" tag is simply there to comply with the rules, and it is NOT an entirely big part of the story; it's actually quite brief.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 56 )

7799535 Might wanna read the status of the story before going crazy. :raritywink:

Comment posted by Tropical Applejack deleted Dec 17th, 2016

:rainbowderp: Bollocks. Great time for me to hit a doozie of a cliffhanger like that.

It's looking good so far. I'll save my main thoughts for the ending. But I will say that it's kept my attention through ongoing music, a movie, and the urge to sleep. :derpytongue2:

HIA! I will definitely give this a read as soon as i can!

I love this fic so far! God job with it!:pinkiehappy:

7855565
I'm glad you enjoy it so far! :yay:
I'll get back to it after I finish this other gem. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/359293/more-than-immortal
(I'm using the term "gem" sarcastically.) :raritywink:

“I thought you’d like it more if you came first,” Pinkie replied

:pinkiesmile:

*insert creative cursing here at the disturbance in the night*

May include
Apples
Dag nab it
Hay
Cow pie
Horse

Okay, okay, don’t bust a spell.

bust a spell.

bust

a

spell

7868620 :rainbowderp: Uh, I didn't mean-
7868653 :pinkiecrazy: You hit the nail on the head!
7868723 :twilightblush: I learned about more than just friendship in the human world.

Magical knowledge of who knows what.

>never strike twice in the same spot
>oh wait

A sad rainbow?
Looks like she lost a few colors.

7877679
When I am inspired to do so and when I have the time, yes.

7878094
No, sir or madam, thank YOU for sticking around to see its eventual completion!

Oh no...PINKIE!!!:fluttercry:

7889149
Hopefully you're enjoying the story... because with the next chapter comes the end of the story. After that, you'll see what the future holds for them. The only question is... will THEY be able to see it?

7889251 well right now Pinkie can't see anything!:fluttercry:

Great story though:twilightsmile:

7889299
I'm glad you liked it up until now. Give yourself a pat on the back for giving me the inspiration to finish it tonight! Last chapter is here to stay.

An interesting idea and a nice way to have sacrifice without killing a character off A fine choice in the end.

7889581
I'm happy that you think that. :pinkiesmile:
I know well enough that a happy ending where her sight returned would be unlikely, and one where Rainbow Dash dies would be overdone, so I kind of went for the middle ground that authors never seem to consider most of the time.

Comment posted by livinthelife deleted Mar 30th, 2017
Comment posted by Tropical Applejack deleted Mar 30th, 2017

You think this story will get bad ratings? It was awesome. I love it! PinkieDash forever! This is best story! Yaaaaasss!!!!!!!:raritystarry:

7901819
I'm glad you liked it! Hopefully you'll like the stories I lay down in the future.

My first story was also PinkieDash. Ah, memories...anyway, great job!

Oh my gosh, what did I just read?

This was... amazing, wonderful, incredible, splendid.

I just read it yesterday and I literally wanted to cry my eyes out (but it did make me smile nonetheless).

I mean this was just... wow.

:raritycry:

Okay, where do I even begin?

First of all, you go with a weak ship (in my opinion) of PinkieDash, brave choice, and you made it work out surprisingly well.

Second, you make it sad/tragic but with just that tough of joy at the end of the Rainbow, (I just made a pun! Oh My Gosh!) Well Done.

Third, the ending was perfect, there's no need for a sequel, it's just there, good, and done with...

That being said...

I do have few problems with it.

1. The PinkieDash Ship.

Now then first of all, let me make something clear, I DO NOT HATE THIS SHIP. YOU made it work out in the end, but I feel in terms of the Main 6 pairings, this is one of the weakest. I'm not saying that it can't be good (just like your story), I'm just saying it may not be as popular as some others out there (Sunlight, FlutterDash, RariJack, AppleDash, etc.)

But as I said before, this is my own opinion and you still did make the shipping romance work out very well for something so short, well done indeed.

2. The romance felt a bit rushed/forced in certain places. Like the staring into each other's eyes for example.

While science does say that it invokes emotion I don't think that you just stare into a stranger's (or even friends) eyes and say, "Oh hey, I really love them".

(And yes, I know that technically she didn't, it took her like a day or so to admit it)

But even then it could (and maybe should) have taken just a bit longer to feel more natural (I mean if I did feel something for one of my friends I would think there would be a whole lot more arguing with myself, but then again, RD is a mare of action and not words, but if she were nervous or in love then that might not be exactly true anymore.).

3. Wait, two days for their love, seems a bit rushed, doesn't it?

(Yes, I know, this is a ship-fic, but still timing is the most common complaint that I know and have heard of).

But other than that the rest of the story doesn't feel that rushed especially when you consider that RD is a mare of action and probably would want the word to spread out around the town quickly once she was finally ready.

Now I'm mostly nitpicking here, but here's my final total of this story.

9/10
Or
A-

I would definitely recommend this for anyone who's a bit sad (because I was yesterday, and boy, did this thing make me want to write again when I was just not feeling it/inspired).

For a romance, it would be up there (and Slice of Life too)

And since this is my very first PinkieDash story it would definitely be a recommend in that category as well.

That being said, this is my review, good luck with your future stories, and good day, peace out until next time.

8032529
Thank you a lot for the lovely and kind comment. It's truly appreciated, and I can't thank you enough for the in-depth review.

Now to address your points.

1. I understand what you are saying, but isn't this just your own bias speaking? In terms of shipping, us writers tend to ship our headcanons, and this is no exception. When discussing whether it is a strong or weak ship, it's all a matter of opinion. As far as I'm concerned, this is one of the heaviest implied ships in the show, excluding Bon Bon and Lyra (duh). There are just so many moments where they're portrayed as a couple; you just have to pay attention. :raritywink: I generally, though not all the time, ship characters based on canonical moments in the show as opposed to personality similarities (or differences if you're one of those "opposites attract" people).

2. My implications when writing that part all the way up to her confession was that she always kinda loved Pinkie in a way, but it wasn't very clear to either of them. Their talk in the field, the heart Pinkie drew, and looking into Pinkie's eyes made Dashie see it.

3. Ah, the time situation. The problem with your statements is that, not only is Dash a mare of action, they've always loved each other, even if it was one-sided for the longest time.

Stupid excuse? Maybe. :trollestia: Logical? Yes. :twistnerd:


Again, thanks so much for the review!! :yay:

8032994
Okay, now I feel like this is much better because my problems are answered, thanks.

This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort".
Name of Story: "Two Eyes, One Heart"
Total Score out of 10: 10
Pros: I cannot find any errors. If there are any at all, they are small enough to miss. The story is also very cute and quite enjoyable.
Cons: The romance moves a little fast for my taste, but you're not being graded on that.
Notes: All-round an excellent story deserving of its grade. Well done.

8153948
Thanks for taking time out of your day to read through it! The like is appreciated, and your review just as much!

Happy to see I at least made someone happy. :pinkiehappy:

After a short minute, the yellow pegasus Fluttershy answered the door, right eye covered by her flowing, pink mane. It reached almost all the way to the ground; she must not have had it cut in a while

It’s the details like this that make me love this story.
You do not just describe her mane, you describe where it is at a moment in time. That’s an art.

8936198
I will most certainly keep that in mind. Thank you so much for favoriting. :heart:
If you're up for it, why not check out some of my other works? I won't pressure you into doing so, of course, as you've already given a me an idea of what I'm doing right - but the option is open.

That bittersweet ending was something I didn’t see coming but thoroughly enjoyed. Thanks for writing such a pleasurable story.

I think I will; it’s teaching me a lot about my own writing as well, which speaks volumes for how strong your writing promotes feeling and care for the characters.

I’ll let you know. If you ever feeling like reading any of my own stuff and comment on it, please feel free. I know the Fallout one isn’t for everyone but I’ll be writing much less grim articles in the future too. I got a few more ideas in the pipeline yet.

If not, I won’t be offended, just know I’m really thankful for the inspiration you have given me to better myself

This Is Really Akward But Great Job So Far

“We just sat there looking at each other for awhile. I stared into her eyes, and she stared into mine. She was beautiful…. Then she pointed at my wings. They were…” Said Rainbow Dash

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