• Member Since 30th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen May 28th, 2017

Rose the Changeling

Hazel Bell is my waifu! Want to see my You Tube Channel?


To preserve her shot at joining the Wonderbolts, Lightning Dust must explain her actions to Spitfire. While recklessness has no place in Spitfire's squad, but maybe second chances do.

Editors: Chaotic Note, KiriSnow

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

Hmm, a decent story, and better than Lightning having her career and finances ruined, like a lot of stories about her do.

This looks looks good rose :twilightsmile:

Hm...this was...okay, but it feels rushed. I do like Lightning Dust fics that, preferably, DO NOT lead her into a state of poverty and ones that try to make Mane Six look bad. However, this story made it clear that it COULD have turned into that kind of story; and that fact made this just a tad bit cringeworthy for my personal taste.

As for the conflict; waaaay too rushed. Like, I'm not sure if I really buy that Lightning Dust has changed, kind of rushed. I'm usually for short stories, but a plot like this deserves more meat.

Not to mention that it makes the grammar kinda awkward sometimes, but that's more of a minor issue for me; if I can understand what's going on, it's fine in my book. And I understood everything fine. Though consider pacing yourself next time---I see a talented writer in you that would shine if you'd just take your time with it.

Other than that, it was okay. I liked reading it, and just by NOT turning everyone but LD who nearly got ponies killed and anyone in stories that sympathize with her total dooshbags, I consider this an achievement. Good job, and I hope to see more stuff from you. :twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment