• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 9 minutes ago

Blue Cultist

“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations


Celestia, attempted conqueror of Earth stands atop a roof with nothing but herself for company. One year ago she failed to bring harmony to earth by way of the the Conversion Bureaus, and humanity has begun to reclaim what it lost. She has been punished for her genocide, though she wonders if her sentence was too lenient.

Written as a speed-writing exercise. Completed in about an hour, and it's unedited. It's just a concept I've had for a while and wanted to see what others thought of it.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 35 )

*tfw someone posts a good TCB story*

What does tcb mean? I've literally just learned this acronym

Interesting. I liken this.

To be honest, I don't know what to make of this. The Celestia we get is supposed to have gone through a complete revolution of character, apparently going from benevolent ruler to genocidal conquerer and back to decent person again. I mean, it felt like the story had something of a voice close to the Celestia we know, but the presence of that backstory is a bit weird because well...

Why, why had she been so filled with hate?

It asks this question, but no answer is ever given, or hinted at. Considering how completely Celestia denounces this and seems to hold absolutely none of her previous contempts... it's a bit jarring. It made me ask myself if you did know that answer yourself. I would have preferred a hint. Yes, it's the general premise of the TCB, but there are a dozen versions of her motivations alone. The hallucination didn't help. In the end, I'm left thinking maybe she was influenced in some ways. Or maybe not.

That is not to say the premise is not interesting. It's that simple and delicious irony at work here, but the story feels like it was written at a weird place in the narrative. Yeah, I'm just... I like what it does, even if there are parts that are misses for me.

7794549 The Conversion Bureau. Its a series of fanfics based on ponies invading earth and forcibly turning humans into ponies.


Well, it does depend on the interpretation. The 'pony invaders' angle was part of wave 2; IIRC Wave 1 was more, I guess...idealistic? The barrier was an accident rather than an invasion in those.

I'd like to do something like this to some of the U.K,s politicians.

7794700 Right, but I was speaking in general.

Denif #9 · Dec 14th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Not bad, original.

This is one of those TCB fics that have been done just right. Wonderful job!

So did those nobles get punished as well

I like this little tale.

7795912 I imagine all her supporters were punished severely. But... we'll never know. :trollestia:

An interesting take.


So Celestia wanted to kill all humans? That's kinda what genocide normally means. Isn't this kinda OOC for her?

7801007 Look at more Conversion Bureau (TCB) stories and you'll understand. x3



Oh I know all about it.
Someone wrote a 'human transform into ponies' story involving portals between worlds and potions. People keep mistaking his word for misanthropic, and is so ashamed that he never finished the fic. Then people with severe personal issues wrote multiple stories that were also interpreted as misanthropic, or had humans as the bad guy. Then people began to wrote absurd amounts of Human Wank fiction (when they could just be reading the light novel series GATE or watching the anime of the same name of they want the same feeling of watching a low-key fantasy kingdom invade a modern one and get obliterate, I'm sincerely surprised they aren't writing fics for that series instead but I guess it's not mainstream enough to get much attention), which has Equestria be obliterated again, and again, and again, and again by the naturally superior humans and their technology.

Meanwhile, no one bothers to write a story where cultural clash can be used interestingly, and where trans-species ponies have to deal with new instincts, and Equestria has to deal with these trans-species ponies, and some who might not consider them true ponies, and their new religions, ideas, politics, and the much larger voting block they represent. (Trans-Species Ponies who eat meat? Imagine the shockwave that would cause in Equestrian culture.). Instead, they have laser like focus on the idea of "low key fantasy kingdom invaders the modern world and is crushed."

And the 'humans turned into ponies' is pretty much just a Narrative Macguffin, it could be replaced with ponies wanting to steal all of humanity's pizzas, and it would have the same effect on the narrative, since the 'humans becoming ponies' isn't the point of the narrative. The point of the narrative is ponies being obliterated by the overwhelming superior might of humanity.

This also carries the painful stereotype of officers in WW1: where fundamentally stupid or insane officers who send innocent soldiers to their deaths against machine guns. The idea that officers LEARNED from what was going on, and both sides were scrambling to figure out how to make best use of their new killing tools, never occurs to most, where instead, it's treated with hindsight 20/20, where WE see all the mistakes they were making, and therefore think that the mistakes must have been obvious, and therefore, they were stupid or insane for not seeing the obvious.

Why does every single Conversion story have to have the transformation into a pony have to kill the person's personality? Why? That wasn't even in the original story. The idea of people having to deal with new instincts, along with losing their old ones is an interesting narrative idea worth exploring.

Basically, the CB setting is one where the original story was grossly misinterpreted by both sides, then people began beating on, and beating on, and beating on, forever, long after it's a corpse.

Conversion has NOTHING to do with the story at all!

Show me a story where humans had to become ponies or go extinct, and then having to deal with their new instincts and abilities, along with the frustrating problem of having lost their fingers, and thus having to adapt our technology to compensate!

The human wank fans should just be watching GATE. While the misanthropics should just be watching Blue Gender.


Actually, the actual story was:
Equus and Earth's universes accidentally crash into each other. Equus began to absorb Earth. Humans are found to be unable to survive in Equus' environment. Desperate to save lives, ponies create a potion to transform humans into ponies. There.

The rest had been added onto by people who want either the superior ponies and their magic are shown to be just better than humans, OR the superior humans and their technology are shown to be just better than ponies. They also added the idea of the transform killing who the person used to be. And also then added that Celly did it on purpose for INSERT INTERCHANGEABLE REASON HERE!


It's a pity everyone has forgotten about that, and just jumps on the idea of Humanity's Superior Technology crushing the stupid invaders who never had a chance to begin with.


The general premise of TCB had nothing to do with Celestia wanting to wipe out humans because ponies are superior. That was added in later by others. The species change was supposed to be literally the only option left to save lives after the world ACCIDENTALLY crashed into each other.

7801462 Whoa there, sonny boy! We're not here to kill each other. We're all fans here. That being said, I can understand covering all aspects of a story idea. And a small correction, the human voting block doesn't matter because The princesses are the sole rulers of Equestria, and even if they aren't, all the kingdoms present have rulers other than the everfree, and the humans can't live there without being forced to learn how to survive against all the monsters, which would require some of them to either die learning about it, or be placed under the rule of Zecora, the only one to be able to survive and actually live there. This would of course, still nullify the human voting block, especially considering Equestria doesn't have one. In equestria, ones capability as a princess and ruler is decided by both that person's qualities and their use of those qualities. The only way the human voting block would matter is if the writer did in fact did pull a GATE move and make them try to colonize another world. The Conversion Bureau aspect should matter, yes, and I agree that because it should, it should be explored to its fullest. However, what I don't agree with is your wanting precious fandom members to do something that they do not see fit to do. I would also like to gently point out that while I do respect your opinion on TCB's, I believe that you do not have the power to decide what is interesting for other people. You only can decide for yourself. If your opinion is that some are uninteresting fine, but do not assume to speak for the entire fandom my fellow brony friend.

7801468 yea... So it goes, alas

7801479 :trixieshiftright: Your point? I am well aware of what started the conversion bureau, thank you. Yes, the original premise only had unfortunate implications by accident, but as you said, it was discontinued and disavowed by the author. However, really, I don't care too much about that. When I say 'general premise', I mean 'GENERAL', aka the majority, aka what is happening today. Nowadays, the premise is a setting for a human vs pony conflict, with the threat of cultural and species wide genocide. Celestia and the ponies are always out of character, whether by pro or anti ponies. It's kind of part of the deal. The conflict can't happen otherwise.

You want to know WHY people don't write all those wonderfully complex stories about trans humanism and cultural clash? Because everyone knows what TCB is! When you write TCB fics, you invariably will attract the attention of pro, antis, and one side is gonna bash you for doing things 'wrong'. Who wants to kick that beehive nowadays? There are plenty of ways of doing it without putting TCB in that story's name.

I mean, if you want to see it so bad, you know what they say: do it yourself. Write that big, long complex fic about all those themes, make it so popular people associate TCB with that, and VOILÀ! Don't come ranting on other people fics about how they misused a fanfic premise because they're not writing what you want. If you take five seconds to reread my comment, you'll notice I tried to offer criticism that is linked to the fic's premise itself, that is of a Celestia that went to the deep end and has seemingly began to pull back into a more moral character through her punishment. I'm only suggesting a more detailed look into her past motivations/character development. You're basically saying this is only an OOC Celestia fic that is not being written to your specifications.

Comment posted by Alex Warlorn deleted Apr 8th, 2017

Why, why had she been so filled with hate?

When… whatever had caused such hate had been purged in the final battle

Ah, that would be the misanthropic author of the original Conversion Bureau. I'd LOVE to see a satire where that author is made to pay for the crimes committed against both human and ponykind by the author's clear psychosis. :trollestia:

But really, I find it disappointing that people are so quick to buy into the notion that Celestia would ever to anything the TCB suggests when all evidence is to the contrary. They wrote all manner of ludicrous revenge fics, never bothering or perhaps not even capable of looking outside the fiction to the delusional mind responsible for the original and placing the blame where it truly belonged.

Ah well, I suppose I can't expect mere humans to comprehend according to my exalted level of supreme evolution. (Alondro converts all humans to clones of himself... "I give you, the Master Race! Now everyone... is ME!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!" And there was much rejoicing.)




We're not here to kill each other.

Well maybe YOU'RE not. Some of us have different hobbies, you know! (stacks more heads in his creepy basement) :pinkiecrazy:

7794576 And even the original made no sense at all. It had a horrendously forced, severely pretentious attitude and an utter misunderstanding of Celestia's character, even for as little as we knew at the time.

With what we've learned of her since, she would be APPALLED at the idea of doing such a thing (she was furious with Twilight for misusing the "Want It, Need It Spell" after all.

I don't see any point in continuing the false, feeble premise any longer other than to mock how ridiculous it was. And then mock the Super Unstoppable Human backlash fics which managed to be even worse.

This is one of those cases where both sides suck.

Um...yeah. Hilarious. You do know how old this comment is yes? Although I do applaud your comedy

8499117 I've had people reply to comments I made 4 years ago on stories I don't even remember anymore! :rainbowlaugh:

yeah. I dug into this story's history after posting this. But I'm not sad I wrote this. And you're right, TCB does not work on a fundamental level. it'd take a mass form of mental manipulation to turn a vast majority of the population into sycophants to Celestia. Even if Celestia went crazy, Twilight wouldn't necessarily walk lockstep into the darkness, and Luna would see the evil a mile away. The only way it'd work is if Celestia was corrupted, then corrupted most of Equestria and either killed, corrupted, or confined Twilight, Luna, and Cadence, and Discord. Even in a world where Celestia and Canterlot have been defeated (What, 3 times now not counting the comics?). Celestia would get sent to the moon for a thousand years after killing more than a handful of humans.

This was just a quick story that kept coming back to my mind, and I wrote it to keep it from coming back. I do enjoy the irony of crazy ol' Celestia being humbled by being stuck in a human body after killing millions/billions. That's the whole draw, I suppose.

8499175 Funny thing is, if you made a story where LUNA was the one who stuck with being NMM and then forcefully turned humans to ponies, you'd be despised by everyone.

Even though becoming a despot and trying to force everyone to love her is kinda NMM's shtick in the first place, and this would be a vastly more reasonable development that mild-tempered Celestia just deciding to invade another universe for no sensible reason.

And if Celestia did this because of 'corruption', then as with NMM and Sunset Shimmer she's have to beforgiven instantly after getting blasted by the Rainbow Laser of Destiny and crying for a minute. That's how the show does this sort of thing, after all and no one has a problem with redeeming those villains immediately.

I note not merely a little hypocrisy on the part of the anti-Celestia crowd. (It's cuz Celestia's white. Closest reverse racism!) :raritywink:

This is beautiful.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!