How did Celestia finally gain her cutie mark? What happened between Equestria's establishment and Celestia's enthronement? It's a bygone story forgotten by most of the ponies, lost in the dense fog of history. But there was a time that Equestria was not a paradise of friendship and harmony. A time when our characters struggled for an uncertain future in the mire of reality. It was an epoch of upheaval, when a prisoner can be royalty, and a princess can be a scourge.
Special thanks to my co-writer and all proofreaders.
Author: CloudXiong
Translator: Eroge
Co-writer: Kai Creech
Proofreaders: LoneUnicornWriter & Skylarking the Stargazer
Cover Art by: Hioshiru
Chapters (2)
First of all, your English is way better than my Chinese, so please don't take the following as an insult. But while the story has the potential to be decent, this translation is not well put together.
Sentences are either ungrammatical (e.g., "But there did have been a time") or just awkward or nonsensical by English standards (e.g., "Dozens of hundred years later, while Celestia was basking in the gentle breeze of the flickering dawn, it occurred to her suddenly, that the night was over when the entanglement between her and the sun arose"—though this sentence is grammatical, I have no idea what it's trying to say. "Dozens of years later"? Later than what, exactly?)
My suggestion is to find an English native to work directly with you and fix this up. Because, as it is, it's barely readable.
There's a lot of interesting stuff here. I don't know Chinese, but I'd be happy to help smooth over the English bits if you have a position available.
7791941 The original sentence for
is
, which (I think) roughly translate to
(My English is poor, so sorry if I made any mistake)
7792800 我是不是应该把原文的链接加上去
7792845 加了人家也看不懂，不如多找几个proofreader，把英文版本做好
7792800
Okay, so I understand what the author is trying to say, but your translation is ungrammatical, and still a bit confusing for English readers. Here, let me help. Try:
"Him" is very poetic here; you generally don't call the sun "him" in English unless you want to be really poetic, but it's not good to say sun twice in the same sentence.
And no need to apologize. Your English is a million times better than my Chinese.
PM me if you need help with either translation or some basic grammar problems, my ten years of living as a Westerner should cut the slack.
7791941 If you don't mind, I'd like to invite you to be one of us. As you see in this faulty first edition, there's still grammatical errors and unsatisfactory expressions when Chinese sentences were translated into English ones. My lack of English literary accomplishment is also one of the barriers prevent this fiction from being perfect. So we could always need more proofreader.
7792653 Thanks a lot! It's very kind of you to join and help us, I'll PM you later.
7791968 Thanks!
It is NOT barely readable anymore! I really should post it as a new story.......
Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
8134094 Gore is for the coming chapters with some bloody anatomy scene. Dark is cancelled after discussing with the author for the story has a happy ending.
This is really an awesome fanfiction
The Chinese version is so fascinating .
Really worth giving it a look.
8137546 The rest chapters is coming. May take time though.
8139904 Just keep translating .So far you've done a great job :D
我来啦！大佬。
I'm here for you! Boss.
to tell you the truth，i was a big fan of the original story，it was a great story. So i think it'll eventually become hot
pls infome me if it is finally hot！
Ah, such a shame there isn't more.
9213771
It's a pony adaption of a Brandon Sanderson short story, The Emporer's Soul.
9287669
Oh?
I’ve not heard of this.
9287691
Dude, you have to start reading his stuff. He's fantastic!
9287846
I guess I’ll have to add that to the non-horse reading list!
距离上一次翻译已经过了很久了，翻译真的困难，尤其是像咱们无偿翻译。
It's been a long time since the last translation I've made. Translation is a real challeng, especially for those reward-free translators like us.
9484750
我们在同一页，呵呵。
Great story so far!! Loved the creativity in the description of the cell, limestone, ward etc. Loved the conversation between Celestia and Star Swirl, seems even though Celestia is in a really desperate situation she can be a smooth talker.
Is there a link to the Chinese version? If there is a completed story I’d love to read it.