Coda
Twilight was sitting at the back of the room, staring across at the three beds and the huddle of her friends. It was still hard to think, but at least it was the noise of the crowded wards around them, instead of the screaming in her head. She felt warmth wash over her, and started, realising that the Sun Princess was standing beside her, gently trying to get her attention. Celestia's expression was ... strained. There was a deep pain somewhere behind those serene, immortal eyes.
"Twilight Sparkle? You asked to speak to me?"
Twilight looked up at her mentor, pleading. "Please, Princess. Please make it go away. Just take it out if my head."
Celestia's expression flickered to one of anguish, and she bent her neck down to draw her student against her. "Twilight... I wish I could. My ponies, my sister and I owe you and your friends more than I can ever repay, and there are magicks that could cut out the memories of these days - but I cannot. I dare not."
Twilight's eyes filled with tears, and she shuddered. "Why, Princess? He made me see things... things I don't..."
Celestia enfolded her in her wings. "Twilight. We have questioned Beatrice Lulamoon. She met the Herald two years ago."
Twilight stared up, tried to speak, choked. "Two years? He was here that long?"
"Perhaps. And we have no idea what he was doing all that time."
Twilight squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to look into the alicorn's sorrowful gaze. "Oh. That's why you can't let me forget. We can't trust Ivory Tower's book either, can we? Since Herald had it first. So everything he put in my head..."
Celestia nodded, very slightly. "... may be the only knowledge we have of his methods and intentions, and of the things he served."
Twilight sobbed, once. "I understand." She looked over at her friends. "Then I suppose we have to go through with this now."
Celestia nuzzled her student's mane, and helped her to her hooves. "Yes. You saw spells like this used ... elsewhere?"
The lavender pony nodded, and looked sick. "Yes. These things... that lived there used it on their own people. To keep them around to question. Or just to hurt. If the... souls... escape they try to return wherever they were taken from. Even, even if the body is already, already dead. And then they'd get up. And try and hurt the first one back. The Herald would have done that, after he thought he'd won. Just to see how we'd react." She swayed on her feet, remembering the tower and the rows of broken bottles and the shambling biped things clawing their way up the spiral stairs.
"Then we are truly fortunate that the fillies survived Herald's trap."
Twilight's breath heaved in her chest. Celestia moved to touch her. "I am sorry, Twilight Sparkle. I should not have said that and made you imagine the alternative."
Her friends looked up from beside the fillies' beds. Applejack looked utterly exhausted, bags under her eyes, and even Rarity looked dull and lifeless. Rainbow glanced up, then went back to holding Scootaloo's hoof with her own.
Fluttershy looked deeply pensive, as Celestia opened the magically locked chest between the beds, and extracted the humble, ordinary jam jar the Herald had used to house the fillies' essence. Pinkie's smile faltered. The little lights inside pressed against the glass, trying to move closer to the alicorn.
"You sure this is going to work, Princess? Twilight?" murmured the orange mare.
"Not certain, Applejack. But I must weigh the risk of attempting this now, against whatever risks arise from leaving the fillies in their current state. Doctor Bayo assures me the fillies are as healthy as we could hope for, but the final decision is yours and your families’. Or, in Scootaloo's case..."
"Yeah. Well. Let's do it. I can't stand to see them like this anymore. Granny and Mac agree."
Rarity nodded. "Mother and Father arrived this morning. Missed all the excitement, thankfully."
Rainbow Dash looked stricken. "But what about Scoots, she -"
Celestia shushed the pegasus, gently. "Her guardian has already agreed. I would not proceed without the agreement of all involved."
The ponies stepped back, and Celestia moved the beds closer together, her expression one of deep concern as she stood over the three bandaged, splinted fillies, and silently, smoothly, opened the jar. The ponies held their breath, and chewed their lips. The little sparks, one white, one yellow, one orange, hesitated at the lip of the jar, as if afraid to leave its confines, then launched themselves, flowed into the air, danced around each other and moved towards the alicorn. She whispered, brow furrowed. "Not me, my little ponies... your bodies wait for you." The orange light dipped in the air, hovered briefly over the still form of Scootaloo, and was drawn into her with her next shallow breath. Something changed, then, difficult to describe, but the little pegasus no longer seemed... empty. The other little lights followed suit, and the ponies cried a little, in relief, when the girls moved slightly in their sleep.
Scootaloo stirred, and reached up to clumsily touch the bandages over her eyes. "Ow... A.B? Sweetie? You guys?"
Dash raced forward to touch the fillie's foreleg. "Hey sprout. You're safe, we got you."
"Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo tried to sit up, and whimpered. "That really hurt... what happened? Where are Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle? I had the weirdest dream..."
The other ponies pressed in, with the exception of Fluttershy and Celestia. The pegasus looked up at the alicorn, and tried to find words. "Princess?"
"Yes, Fluttershy?"
"Herald... he said I wasn't really kind, that I was ... faking. Do... you think he was right?"
Celestia looked down at the meek yellow pony, and smiled. "Fluttershy - you are still the Bearer of Kindness. That you and your friends were able to drive the Messenger back into the Outer Dark proves as much."
"Oh. I don't want anypony to think he was right. I try really hard not to be mean, to anypony."
"I couldn't find a single pony, in all of Equestria, sociopathic enough to be a good cultist."
"And the Element judged you kind. You stopped him before he could hurt any of you."
Fluttershy looked down. "He said he'd hurt us if we tried."
"If I wanted to hurt you, you'd already be dead."
Celestia's expression flickered, but she nodded. "Yes, he did. But he was wounded, and perhaps he hoped to cow you all, as he recovered his energy."
"He can't come back, can he? He hurt so many ponies, even if he didn't ... hurt... us."
He moved a hoof, pushing Fluttershy out of the way; the eyes of his mask lighting up...
Celestia's expression changed to grief. "I know, Fluttershy. So many of our Gaurdsponies and Hussars were very badly hurt, or injured in their minds, and even those ponies without full knowledge of today..." She sighed, very sadly. "That it happened at all has damaged the trust our little ponies have in my sister and I. But Luna is warding the thin places he used when meeting Beatrice. He cannot enter there again, and we will be prepared against him if he tries."
"There is always another way into a world."
Fluttershy looked up at the Alicorn of Day, and managed a little smile. "And I'll still have my friends, won't I? He can't hurt us again if we stick together."
the shock, running up her foreleg, and into her body
And in her womb, a heart began to beat.
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Oh, so Herald thinks that just because he impregnated Fluttershy he's going to win? I'd like to see how he reacts to how steep Alimony is in Equestia.
Dr. Philly: You, Herald, are the father.
Herald:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
In all seriousness, I doubt that even an unholy abomination such as himself could turn out evil with Fluttershy as a mom.
1313139 I'd be more worried by what he pays the alimony IN.
Hmm a sequel hook huh?
Very good story!
Though I am a little disappointed by the "happy ending". I did expect some main character to be insane or badly hurt if not dead at the end (especially Shining Armor). But again your twist ending is an interesting one and a sequel would be really interesting.
1315007 really? Consider - the Equestrian military have been decimated, large numbers of ponies have been driven stark raving bonkers, Twilight is barely sane, R.D. is not unafffected, and Fluttershy is pregnant to an Outer God. It's not a happy ending.
1313680 yup :)
1315204
True, but the problem with large mass of unnamed character is that I don't feel I should care for those nameless ones. They were only mentioned in your story, it doesn't give a real feeling of care especially when we follow the main characters which we see evolve along the story.
It's more of a "it was a bad time but we are going to build upon our mistakes" kind of ending instead of "our world is doomed" kind of ending.
And you are right Fluttershy being pregnant with an Outer God is pretty bad but depending on how you think of it it could be a easy thing to banish him but again I don't know how you intend to do it but to take 'The Dunwich Horror' as an exemple the Whateley kids were defeated quite easily but they were only the offspring's of Yog not himself.
As for Twilight maybe it's just the way you wrote her in the final chapter but I don't feel her insanity his really going to be a problem, it just seems to me she will improve upon what she now know more than be terrified and disabled by the horrors she saw.
Don't take what I say to seriously It's just the way I see it and I'm no great critic.
1315535 That's a reasonable observation - I chose to keep the number of OCs to a minimum. But as far as banishing the baby... how difficult do you think it's going to be to get Fluttershy to help? Twilight, of course, knows exactly what to expect but she is by no means stable.
Hey! I remember seeing this in the HP-Lovecolt group on DeviantArt! I only read the first chapter on there, and it was great. Just finished reading the full thing on here. All of my props to you, good sir. Excellent narration, masterfully-crafted plot. Really intense, too. Hard to read it from start to finish in one go. I can see you've stayed pretty faithful to the source material, and that's wonderful. I needed my Lovecraft fix. Not sure how I feel about the prospect of a sequel. It woulda been a great story all by itself, but I suppose if you go to the trouble of including a sequel hook, you're damn sure you can deliver a strong continuation. I'll be hoping for your eventual success.
1354191 My many thanks to you, for those kind words :) It might be a while until I write it however :)
Overall an Excellent piece of fiction, despite its chapters being small and the story a little short for my tastes (I blame reading the epics of FIMfiction for that outlook
).
I have little to gripe about though, its extremely well written and I think I will put it on my favorites list, definitely one of the best adaptations of the Lovecraftian universe into MLP I have seen so far in my quest of finding this rarely approached genre in the MLP fanfic world.
I only have minor criticisms in regards to the story overall, and it mainly revolves around my Obsessive nature on the depiction of the Old ones. generally speaking, the masked "king" which is usually covered in yellow robes (slight changes here in the fic) is the traditional depiction of Hastur/the Yellow King rather than Nyarlathotep who never truly appears conclusively in such an aspect, but rather in forms such as the Black Pharaoh or the Howler in the Dark, its the same with mask removal and the beginning of insanity for all whom gaze within is also associated with Hastur/the yellow king as well rather than Nyarlathotep.
Another small gripe is that you described Shub-Niggurath as brainless, however that depiction only applies to Azathoth and it seems that the other Great Old Ones do have the ability of thought and control. my last gripe is more along the lines of not getting to see more of the effect caused by Shub-Niggurath's appearance, although this will hopefully be resolved in the sequel where we might visit an overflowing insane asylum or two in the course of the tale :).
Overall it is still an excellent story, I attentively look forward to more of your work, although it appears you are going down a root more of ponizing Lovecrafts fiction of late, I shall still read with much appreciation on the development of your future work.
V’hu-ehn N’kgnath fha’gru n’aem’nh V’glyzz k’fungn cylth-a v’el cylth-Cthulhu k’fungn’i I’a ry’gzengrho I’a Hydra!
1412799
To be fair, though, that depiction of Hastur is mostly a result of expanded material, not Lovecraft. The yellow robed masked thing, in the context of the works it appears in by Lovecraft himself, wasn't ever identified as Hastur, and could very well be Nyarlathotep (there's definitely speculation that it was, at least). Also, it seemed to me that the whole insanity-inducing thing was more a result of him knowledge-bombing Twilight, rather than her -just- seeing his face and going crazy, ahaha.
1412908
true I generally discard Dereleth's stuff (such as the development of the Elder gods and Hastur) due to its controversial nature in Lovecrafts Mythos and its problem of being ill suiting to the Cosmicist philosophy Lovecraft followed, I was more bringing it up because the fellow who wrote this never designated it as not following expanded universe, thus more open to debate.
however you do have a definite point in the King in Yellow appearance that in context it could be Nyarlathotep, but then again often the material suggests other possibilities for that entity as well and it is quite theoretical whether it is him or not. also we must not forget to mention Lovecraft loved some good old fashioned contradiction in these matters,
as for the insanity inducing mask removal technique never really appeared in Lovecrafts work as and was really more developed by Robert W. Chambers book (King in Yellow, 1895) which was before Lovecraft's main body of work, as well as other author's in the matter after HP's death, so the whole appearance of the Robed masked god who could drive other's insane by the removal of his mask (and the opening of terrifying vistas of reality as a result) was already expanded universe to begin with.
who knows, I prefer to think of the King in Yellow as a separate entity however, just based on personal canon :).
1412799 Ah, but Shubby is one of the Outer Gods, not a Great Old One. Entities of Cthulhu's ilk are certainly sentient, and Yog-Sothoth likewise, but Shub-Niggurath has never actually appeared in canon, an it amused me to have her a mindless fount of unspeakable fecundity, as a dark mirror to the alicorns :)
re: Hastur - don't forget the stranger's line from the King in Yellow that he wore no mask.
But I appreciate your comments :) Yes, it's a lot shorter than it could have been, but I wanted to keep the plot moving and the amount of secondary characters to a minimum. And yes, the Canterlot mental hospitals are very full now.
damn I keep on confusing Outer and Old Ones in terminology, I really should know better However, Yog-Sothoth is listed, described and displays the characteristics of as an Outer god rather than an Old One so it does lend credit to them not all being completely mindless I suppose, ah well you did have free reign with Shubby due to Lovecraft rarely approaching much detailed descriptions of her, and it went well with the Fic.
As for Hastur yeah he wore no mask -but he could take it off as well.-.. but did your variation of Nyarlathotep truly wear one either? it did seem to change and warp to whatever vague emotion he was experiencing seemed more like something to act as a barrier between insanityville for playthings and an active face at the same time guess we can put it down to his thousand forms... ach nevermind, i am just overcomplicating a minor issue
Overall I still say bravo! continue your excellent work dear sir!
1414603 Thanks again :) Hopefully you'll find the other pieces as entertaining, when i get around to writing them.
Well, this was awesome.
Not often I see a serious Lovecraft/pony crossover, and this one was definitely a good read. You certainly captured the nature of the more unspeakable beings well. I especially liked Shub-Niggurath's description when she was entering their world: Thousands of gaping mouths appearing in the sky?
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6kth6Hx691r6dxs2o1_1280.jpg
Yeah, sounds about right.
I am also glad you didn't give it an absolute downer ending. I've seen so many stories ruined because they just pull a downer bad-guy-wins ending out of their butt. This pulled it off nicely, with the heroes winning the battle, but enough ambiguity and a potential sequel hook to maintain the Lovecraftian ideal that the Old Ones are never truly gone, no matter how badly they are defeated.
Good job on writing such a great fic, congrats on it getting a TVTropes page, and thanks for being the first person to submit a story to my Lovecraftian fics group (Other than my own stories)
1600236 Thankyou :) I strove to find the right balance between the joyfulness of MLP and the nihilism of HPL, and think I managed it :) I have to admit, I was halfway through writing the story before I had ANY idea how the ponies could win :) And then when I had the idea, went back over what I'd already posted and was astounded to realise I'd given them everything they'd need :)
Plus, Herald was a joy to write, too :)
Hope you get a lot more submissions - I've been suggesting the group to other authors as the opportunity arises :)
1315204
considering that they just combated 2 eldtrich abominations AND WON - and the majority of the population is still alive and sane, it's one hell of a good ending.
Also, Twilight is now armed with incredible amounts of knowledge AND is able to still be relatively sane (atleast when provided with a bit of help). That's bound to be interesting.
Oh and they didn't even need to enlist Discords help, so that's another trick to employ if necessary.
1907819 And not one iota of that knowledge is good - poor Twi is still far from stable, and Screwloose has a lot of new company in the mental hospital. Let alone what the Princesses are going to do to Trixie...
This is maybe the only story so far which successfully puts together the Mythos and Ponies - and makes them work, with believable characters and an intriguing plot. Thumbs up!
Liked it and reviewed it!
Now off to read the The Shadow Over Hinnysmouth ...
2192925
Indeed he is - he hit the snooze button during the last Ice Age and slept in.
2112505>>2192936
Heehee. Somehow I don't think Herald would have appreciated Discord's sense of humour - N. can be entirely charming, but he's he's also a perfect sociopath. I dread to think how it would have escalated...
2193033
heehee... you'll just have to read Hinnysmouth, when it's finished.
Was directed to this fanfic by tvtropes of all things, once I started, I couldn't stop. I'm a Lovecraft fan(and have played Arkham Horror several times. Great game if somewhat depressing), and you definitely did both settings of Lovecraft and MLP justice with a great and exciting story with an excellent villain to boot. Great job!
2426504
Thank you muchly :) I forget who said it, but if you're going to play with a genre, you have to respect the conventions of the genre first. I think I managed it
2450633
i'd say you have. i'll need to see shadow over hinnysmouth next
2555165 Innsmouth, Arkham, Dunwich, the Vault of Zin, the Plateu of Leng, Yuggoth, Unknown Kadath, the Nameless City, Celephais, Red Hook...
Just finished this in the course of maybe 4-5 hours or so. I would have made it through in a single sitting, had the symptoms of that chronic disease called "the need for sleep" not started rearing their ugly heads around midnight last night, when I'd just finished chapter 17 or so.
This was an excellent read. Found it via the TV Tropes page. I was dubious at first as to how well a Mythos/MLP story could work, but I have to say you pulled it off quite well. You kept the characters as in-character as could reasonably be expected for an encounter with the Crawling Chaos. I'm actually glad for the (relatively) happy ending and that it didn't end up as just dumb, stupid grimdark for the sake of dumb, stupid grimdark, as it very easily could have. Granted, most Mythos stories tend to end very badly for the protagonists, but at least in this case the ponies had both the Elements of Harmony and two goddesses of their own (and Pinkie Pie, of course) in their favor, so it wasn't totally inconceivable that they could win this.
After all the references to Discord, though, I'm was a tiny bit disappointed that he didn't make an appearance. It makes me wonder what he would have done if he'd been freed. Would he have joined with Nyarlathotep just to be contrary, or would the coming of an Outer God have been too much even for him to stomach, causing him to help the ponies? I guess it would also depend partially upon if it was a pre- or post-reform Discord or not. And would Nyarlathotep have been actually troubled by his presence or would he have merely flicked Discord aside as a mere nuisance? I suppose those possibilities are something that could be explored in a potential sequel, perhaps.
2796468 Glad you enjoyed it.
Re: Discord - I didn't feel his brand of Chaos fitted will into a story with the Crawling Chaos - one is a creative force, after all, whilst the Lovecraftian pantheon is one of utter nihilism. But I appreciate your thoughts on the subject :)
And yes, trying to come up with a way for the ponies to plausibly win this was *hard*
2888777
the names of the various entities, perhaps not - scholars of the literature have traced connections to earlier works, and languages, etc. the alien languages, on the other hand, probably are random - although Ia! Ia! is an element of classical ritual :)
Interesting story. Here's a little something written about a decade ago by an acquaintance of mine that you may find interesting:
http://nypress.com/the-doom-that-came-to-chelsea/
Enjoy.
3386341
*grins* well, if teleporting can badly singe a creature that can dive into lava, and violently explode that ball of the CMCs....
Yay. Also, will Cthuga, Hastur, The Big Man himself (Cthulhu), The Deep Ones, and more appear?
When Twi realizes that 'Shy is pregnant, and with/by what, it is given that she will react... poorly.
3465099
it's like you read my mind
3444140
probably not - Nyarly and Shubby were better fits
3487784 Eh... Fine. Also, is it wierd that I think Shubby is a MILF?
3492048 Not really - she IS an ancient and perverse fertility goddess, after all :)
3693993 Indeed :)
3693987 yup - as I said when Duel came out "this is relevant to my interests"
3694003 To be fair, there's lots of other shapeless and polymorphic creatures in fiction - and real life - Dahl could have drawn on
3694048 Exactly :) Plus, Herald giving her more knowledge than she could handle amused me
3694087 *nods* Luna's dialogue was one of the bits I was unhappy with. I really should go back and fix that
*reads last line*
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-
I have now read the entire story in one sitting and I got to say that this is the kind of shit I do like.
Good job.
3863853 Thanks :)
"finds this story"
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/295/561/d99
How have I not reviewed this yet? This is a heck of a thriller!
Side note: As soon as Herald burst onto the scene with that "the answer to those three questions is right here" line, he was suddenly voiced by Tom Hardy's Bane in my head.
Did a reread, then halfhour later my internet went out on me, made this
4058062
heehee