• Member Since 11th Dec, 2016
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

Turtlehaus


I enjoy writing. If I think of anything clever to say I'll update this.

Sequels1

E
Source

Smolder has set out to steal the Elements of Harmony in the hopes of saving his mother and father from the Void; a mysterious dimension of darkness and shadow. In doing so, Smolder intends to bring hope to his failing Kingdom, its disheartened ponies, and save his broken family.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 73 )

Looks like you finally uploaded it here.
Nice!

7795982
Thanks, I'm uploading it chapter by chapter as I make some long over due edits.

I love this story so far with one small caveat: Spike a pet dragon!? I really don't like Spike being considered a 'pet' it just seems so wrong on so many levels...

8327169
Thank you for mentioning this, it was an oversight on my part, Spike is certainly not a pet, and shouldn't be referred to as one. I'll make the edit and fix this. I really appreciate you bringing this to my attention.

I'd also like to thank you for taking the time to read this story when there are so many other great stories to choose from.

Some even seemed to have marshmallows on sticks trying to hold them out near my flames.

Now if only there was a graham cracker and chocolate bar seller in the crowd...

“I have made the proper arrangements to have you stay with us for the next couple of days, although I’m afraid we are not so well equipped to receive a Flame Pony under such short notice.” Princess Celestia explained. “So you will have to sleep in the infirmary where the slab of granite has been set up for now. I’m sure the nurse pony you ran out on will be pleased to see you again.”

Trollestia strikes again!

8327344
To be truthful I'm running out of good stories to read on this site (it doesn't help that I favor dragon/spike stories) and you managed to get me to read it in one setting which is something(for the size of the story) that is rare for me. How I missed this story during my many searches through the site for undiscovered gems I don't know.

8329055
That's very kind of you to say. I'm very thankful and humbled to know that you read this story in one sitting. For it to be called a 'gem' is certainly considered high praise to me, and I very grateful that you would call it that.

I have written a second story of Smolder's adventure, Rise of Char, which I am currently editing for this site. The original can be found at FanFiction.net, under the same pseudonym, if you'd like to read ahead; just be wary of some grammatical issues. I've always loved stories that involved dragons, which is why this story involves an Elder Dragon among other threats.

It is where the I am also currently writing The Phoenix King, the third and final story to this arc, which will eventually be re-edited and uploaded here eventually.

You have truly made my day, and helped ensure that my story is as flawless as I can hope it to be.

8329108
well you did a wonderful job editing I can only recall a few errors(don't ask me where I can't recall...) usually I run into really good stories but have to ignore several obvious errors per chapter... a given as this is a fanfiction website... but I also said that as this is a story that is criminally underrated here... its amazing how many stories that are just meh get so much attention (displaced/slutty porn fiction i'm looking at you) or are great but never completed... I'm hoping the fanfiction.net version makes up for this... I'm currently working on the second one and will switch to fanfiction in a few hours (I have to stop for a bit or I will not get my work done...)

CRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHH

Ok sooooo king goes evil queen helps stop said king and ally she betrayed her husband for damns her kingdom and banishes them. "Cough" CLEASITA YOU TRAITOROUS UNHOLW W***** *********

The head of Wingston's staff broke off from the impact. There was a silence that followed, Wingston staring at the stone statue, then a crack was heard. Two burning red eye appeared beneath the rock face of the statue so suddenly that it caused Wingston to fall back in surprise. The center stone statue began to illuminate with a red hot glow.

SHITS GOING TO GET REAL HEAR

8365155
My intention was to show that there would be consequences for the war, regardless if the Mad King was still around, and it resulted in banishment. Thus, setting the stage for Smolder to come along years later to show that Flame Ponies had changed and were ready to be forgiven. Which led to Princess Celestia changing her mind on Flame Ponies as a whole rather than judging them for one Mad King's actions.

I don't know if I was able to make it come across as such, but I did find your response humorous.

8365264
Its also for ditching them they had just lost a leadwr and taken some heavy damage and as shown when smolder came were practically starved to death

So to start off, First i guess (sue me first i got to do it). This has a great start, no noticeable errors i can see, yay. So um yeah, not sure what else to write considering this is a complete story.

Yay another chapter, another comment by yours truly. Weeeeeee (sorry just bored with no ones else's opinions to read. Good chapter thought

a race? Sounds interesting.
please let there be violence.(crosses imaginary fingers)
Lightning, what did i say about wishing or praying for violence.(motherly tone)
...

right this chapter took a little longer to read (phone restarted twice)
but still i enjoyed it otherwise <--sp?
Now sleep, then on the marrow, more awesome story reading!

Another great chapter, not much else to say.

WEEEEEEEEEE! VIOLENCE!
Lightning, why do you want violence so much?
too much X-COM
oh

very emotional, i like it.
Uh, huh, yeah whatever. Hey author when is there going to be more violence?
Bad Lightning! Bad! Well other than lightning's recent addiction to violence i enjoyed this chapter as well.

wish i was there to see the show, *dramatic sigh* but alas i will have to settle for the authors words. Have to say great chapter as always!
11/10

"Ms. Herbal, is the Flame Pony cleared of all medical problems?" Shining Armor asked sternly.

"What?" Tea asked sounding confused.

"The uh, Flame Pony?" Shining Armor asked pointing his hoof at me.

"What about him?" Tea asked.

"Is he, like, sick or something?" Shining Armor asked curiously.

"That depends." Tea stated shuffling some papers around.

"On what?" Shining Armor asked.

"What you need him for." Tea said matter of factly.

"This is a classified matter on a need to know basis." Shining Armor said sounding stern once more.

"Let's see. Let's see. Nope sorry you can't see him, he has a case of the 'Nopes'." Tea said apologetically.

"The Nopes?" Shining Armor asked bewildered.

"That's right." Tea said writing the word nope on a piece of parchment with my name on it.

"He seems fine to me!" Shining Armor replied pointing his hoof at me accusingly.

"Nope." Tea said causally.

"Do you know who I am, Ms. Herbal?" Shining Armor asked throwing out his chest.

"Nope." Tea said again.

"I'm Prince Shining Armor, husband to Princess Cadance." Shining Armor declared stomping his hoof down.

"That's nice." Tea remarked filling out a chart.

"I command you to release this Flame Pony to me at once!" Shining Armor commanded.

"Nope." Tea said once more.

"Oh come on, please?" Shining Armor whined resting his head down on the desk.

"Nope." Tea said again.

"Well, when is he going to be cleared of the Nopes?" Shining Armor asked looking defeated.

"When I find out what you need him for." Tea explained.

"What are you his keeper?" Shining Armor asked annoyed.

"Nope." Tea replied.

"Alright! Alright! Just keep it under your saddle, okay?" Shining Armor exclaimed.

Shining Armor looked around the Infirmary to make sure no pony was trying to eavesdrop before leaning in to whisper.

"We have received word that some ponies went missing digging for gems in the mountains near the Everfree forest yesterday. We're not sure but we believe it may have been a cave in." Shining Armor whispered to Tea.

"What do you need Smolder for?" Tea asked back in a whisper.

"Smolder?" Shining Armor asked confused.

"The Flame Pony." Tea replied pointing to me.

"We need his help. The caves within the mountains are notoriously dangerous, and incredibly dark. The Flame Pony will provide us ample lighting and minimizing the risk of one of us getting lost or separated." Shining Armor explained glancing over at me.

"Nope." Tea said returning to her work.

"What?" Shining Armor retorted.

"Not going to happen." Tea replied.

"I thought you said his Nopes would go away if I told you what we needed him for?" Shining Armor asked sounding annoyed.

"Nope." Tea said.

It was clear that Shining Armor was about to have a conniption when Princess Cadance came walking into the room.

"Everything alright, dear?" Princess Cadance asked curiously noticing the sour look on Shining Armor's face.

"Ms. Herbal refuses to let me see the Flame Pony." Shining Armor tattled.

Princess Cadance looked passed Tea to see me sitting by her side.

"Isn't that him right there?" Princess Cadance asked curiously.

"That's not… she wasn't… she said that… I…" Shining Armor's eye began to twitch trying to explain the odd set of circumstances that had led to this point.

"I'm only teasing, calm down, dear, before you start saying gibberish." Princess Cadance said with a laugh before approaching the nursing station.

"Can we please speak with the Flame Pony?" Princess Cadance requested politely.

"Nope." Tea replied not looking up.

"Why not?" Princess Cadance asked curiously.

"Case of the Nopes." Tea answered.

At this point Shining Armor was pointing at Tea while looking at Princess Cadance as if this was the reason he was upset.

"I've never heard of Nopes before, is it serious?" Princess Cadance asked playing along.

"Nope." Tea said.

"Is he going to get better soon? We could really use his help with something important." Princess Cadance asked politely.

"Nope." Tea said again.

"Is that all you're going to say?" Princess Cadance asked suddenly sounding annoyed.

"Nope." Tea replied.

"Now listen here Ms. Herbal there is obviously no such thing as the Nopes so I demand that you release the Flame Pony from your care or I shall have to report this to Princess Celestia!" Princess Cadance demanded placing a hoof on the desk sounding extremely annoyed.

"Nope." Tea replied.

this, i just love this whole part.

"So you're married to Princess Cadance?" I asked feeling curious.

"Yep." Shining Armor said proudly.

"What's that like?" I asked.

"How's what like?" Shining Armor asked back.

"Being married to a pretty pony." I replied.

Shining Armor fidgeted a bit, a smile started to crawl across his face as he leaned over to me.

"It's awesome." Shining Armor whispered sounding rather excited about it.

"You don't get nervous or anything when talking to her?" I asked finding it difficult to talk to Tea at times.

"What? No, no of course not. I was a very articulate pony. Never had a problem talking to pretty ponies." Shining Armor said shaking his head.

I couldn't really tell if he was saying that to me or himself.

"Yeah me neither." I replied, trying to sound cool like Shining Armor.

"Princess Cadance and I are totally cool with each other. Real cool." Shining Armor said confidently.

"Cool." I said nodding.

conversations between guys in a nutshellish shape

Yay! More violence!
Lightning! Ugh, you know what never mind. Eh, besides that i really enjoyed this chapter.
it was ok
it was better than ok... Wait... Binary did you just?
...

and the plot thickens, also Wingston!

"Alright how do- wait what?" Wingston asked looking puzzled.

i have the same expression as Wingston right now.

Discord said suddenly lifting me off the ground by nape of my nape neck.

off the ground by nape of my nape neck.

nape of my nape neck.

uh what?

8374722
No problem i was happy to help

So i got two errors here you tonight (for me at least)

"I don't know him, but I know my brothers."

missing word

Wick once more dropped to the floor, his mane no longer flaring, drawing to draw breath.

and this bit in yellow, other than that i see no errors. Another great chapter, btw I love smolder's plans they are great.

8374735
I really appreciate that. Even after several edits, some mistakes still slip by, thank you for catching them.

8374753
again no problem, though i will continue to do so. Besides i really like this story, why hasn't it been featured yet?

Glow Sunbeam had had several dinners with the King

removal of extra word necessary,ow head ache. Another great chapter.:pinkiehappy:
Yay! More violence!:pinkiecrazy:
i give up

"That is madness, Smolder. He will destroy you!" Wingston scolded me.

nother error found, unless this was intentional

8374757
I'm not sure what is required to become featured, but I'm grateful that you feel it is worth such a thing. Personally, I'm just happy to know someone has enjoyed this story, having taken the time to read it, and felt compelled to tell me so. It really brightens my day hearing that. Thank you.

8374790
and again I tell you no problem. I am really enjoying this story and i can barely wait to begin the sequel.

8374769
As always, I appreciate you noticing these errors.

8374794
and as always i tell you no problem.

right you know the drill by now, more errors and what not

Patheti!." The Mad King shouted to her.

think you mean pathetic

The flames of the Mad King flourished, the unmoving Wingston did not respond,to earning the Mad King a moment to collect his thoughts

this bit in yellow

The Mad King seemed to be at off with himself

and this bit here, but yeah great chapter again. Also it's nice to know that the mad king is not immune to water.

yay more errors!

Having believed that he had robbed you over your fire." Wingston said nursing his injured leg; it pained him.

???, i think i like being an editor of sorts. Hey Turtlehaus, do you think i make a good editor?

8374811
Great catches. I've made the corrections.

8374829
I would so say so do to the amount of errors you've found already.

8374837
huh, thank you, and really there isn't that many, you've managed to clean most of them up you're self

8374841
I've honestly reread these chapters more time than I can remember, but it apparent that a handful of errors still got by. I'm glad that they didn't get by you.

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