Twilight's 12 Pains of Christmas

by TheDriderPony

On the Fifth Day

Twilight woke slowly. Having become so accustomed to waking up with the sun on her face, she now felt slow and lethargic waking up without it. She knew this would change once she found an east facing window to bask in front of for a few minutes, but until then it she was stuck feeling like she had a mild head cold. Her ears perked up as a strange sound reached them. A kind of muffled crunching noise, occasionally interspersed with low sounding moans. Her mind's gears began to whir, still slowed though they were by the gluey entanglement of pre-sun pre-coffee not-quite-awake-yet-ness. Slowly but surely, her reasoning faculties started booting up and began interpreting her observations into inferences.

There is a noise in her room. Noises are made by things. Therefore, there must be some thing in her room.

Normally, she should be alone in her room. There is some thing in her room. Therefore, she is not alone. Therefore the situation is not normal.

Anxiety activated. Determining reason. Accessing memory. Memory found: apprehension regarding mysterious nocturnal present bringer.

Analysis: Some thing has been entering her home at night. It is currently morning, the last part of night. There is some thing in the room, which is not a normal situation

Conclusion: The mysterious nocturnal present bringer is currently in the room, making crunching noises.

Twilight's eyes snapped open. The intruder was here?! Now?! Wait, this isn't her room. It's Spike's room. Where is Spike? She scanned the room frantically. There was his bed, still unmade. The crunching moaning sounds still emanated from somewhere. She swiveled her ears, desperate to pinpoint the source. There! The bathroom! With a powerful flap of her wings, Twilight flung herself into the air, simultaneously casting a shield in front of her. A quick teleport put her right outside the bathroom door, all of her upward momentum redirected forward. She burst through the door, shards and splinters of wood flying in all directions!

Spike screamed out in surprise and fear, multicolored shards of crystals spraying from his mouth. He leaped to the side, just barely avoiding high-velocity impact with a supersonic Sparkle. She slammed into the back wall, cracking the crystal and utterly destroying Spike's shower. She rose, woozily, before shaking off her haziness. Her gaze caught Spike, slowly rising back to his feet. She rushed over and held him protectively. "Spike! Thank goodness you're alright! Where's the intruder? Stay behind me, I'll keep you safe!"

He pushed her off grumpily. "What intruder? There's no one here but us!"

She slowed her frantic scanning, but didn't power down her horn. "But I heard a noise! There was this crunching, and the most unearthly moaning!"

Spike hesitated for a moment before sighing. "That was me." He admitted glumly. Clearing his throat, he hacked up several blue and red gem shards into his claws, and offered them for inspection. "See?"

Twilight lowered her wings and shut off her magic. "So, there was nopony here? No intruder?"

"No, Twilight," Spike said, "Just me and a morning snack."

"Oh"

She looked at the damage caused by her fear and recklessness. The broken door, the shattered shower, the cracked and fractured wall. All this from a moment of panic. From a moment when she led her fear take control. Lighting her horn, she cast a repair spell on the wall. She turned back to Spike, her head hung low. "I'm- I'm sorry Spike."

He patted her neck. "It's okay Twilight, you're under a lot of stress. You made a mistake. You're scared and confused. I am too. But we'll get to the bottom of this. Together. We'll figure out what's leaving this stuff, and put a stop to it."

Twilight sniffled. "Thanks Spike. I needed that."

He smiled. "Anytime Twilight, anytime. Now, let's go see what's downstairs today."

She nodded, and they began walking. Spike tried to to keep her spirits up by filling the air between them with useless small talk. He rambled on endlessly about what today's items could be, the reasoning behind the older items, what old villains or new could be behind it. Everyone from Nightmare Moon to Mane-iac to Golden Harvest. Twilight added a few comments here and there, slowly contributing more and more to the conversation until she was giggling along with his suggestions and even contributing her own. "It's funny Spike, how we've transitioned from 'will there be more things today' to 'what will the new things be'."

He chuckled along. "Yeah, I guess you can get used to anything."

She strode forward with renewed confidence. "That may be true, but we will not accept living like this. I will get to the bottom of this, Spike, and I will find out who is responsible!" She punctuated her her declaration by slamming open the doors to the main hall. Sitting centered between her and her friend's thrones was the fifth pear tree. Again, nestled in its branches were a pair of turtledoves, cuddled together in their nest. A partridge rested nearby, nonchalantly preening it's feathers. The three chickens wandered about the tree's base, absentmindedly pecking at the ground. The four Colly birds sat in a row on a single high branch, chittering quietly. Of it wasn't for the circumstances of their arrival, it would have been a picturesque scene, worthy of any canvas.

"I don't see anything new," Spike commented, "Do you?"

She shook her head. "No, neither do I. Let's take a closer look."

They walked closer, careful not to startle the birds or cause a panic. As they approached, Spike's keen dragon eyes picked out a glint in the dirt around the tree's base. He leapt up, vaulting over the heads of the chickens and began digging. After several moments, he popped back up, a large golden ring in his mouth. Twilight took it from him with her magic, and shook off the dirt. She inspected it closely as Spike went back into his hole. It was a large ring, too big for a hoof but without a clasp to indicate to was meant to be worn around the neck. The metal was polished, and without flaw or defect. Spike's head popped up out of the dirt as he tossed out four more. They clanged loudly as they clattered to the floor. He hopped out of the pot and shook off the dirt. "I think that's all of them," he remarked, "Well, all I could find at least."

"Curious," Twilight remarked, "This falls out of pattern with the others. Neither a bird nor a tree this time. Unless there's some hidden connection I'm not seeing... hmmm..." She trailed off as her monologue slipped into internal soliloquy. Spike raised his fist to his chin as he tried to find a pattern as well. The partridge landed on his head. It bent over to look into his eyes and cooed. Spike smiled as an idea came to him.

"Hey, I got an idea!" He exclaimed, "Let's get Rarity to help!"

Twilight snapped out of her thoughts to look at him. "Rarity?" She asked, "How could she help? If these rings were gem-studded maybe, but being plain as they are, I'm not sure what she could contribute."

"Well... she's good with jewelry?" He offered weakly, not really having thought his idea through all that much.

Twilight smiled softly. "You just want an excuse to see her, don't you?"

He blushed visibly. "What? No, no that's totally not it. I just thought that maybe, you know, she might have some input."

"I suppose it's worth a shot," Twilight shrugged, "At least until a clearer pattern merges."

---

Rarity turned the rings over in her magic. "I may not be an expert, but I do try to keep abreast of everything fashion related. And I can honestly I've not seen any accessories like these before. While they are very finely crafted, I can find no makers marks or other identifying features." She passed the rings back to Twilight. "I'm sorry I can't be of more help. If there were gemstones involved I could probably tell you which designer made it, when it was made, even what region the gems are from. But as it stands, all I can say it that these are nothing like anything I've come across in Equestrian fashion."

"Thank you for your input," Twilight said as she stacked the rings on a nearby table. "I wasn't really expecting much, but Spike thought it might be worth the time to ask anyway."

"He did, did he?" Rarity asked, a note of compassion entering her voice, "He's such a dear. I must remember to save a few choice gems for him next time I go collecting."

"Don't get him too many," Twilight joked, "I think he may have a secret stash somewhere."

Rarity laughed, light and airily. "I'll keep that in mind. Now I must be off. With my winter line sold out, some ponies have been asking if they can pay extra for any remaining pieces. So it's back to the sewing machine for me. A designer's work is never done! Ta ta, darling!" She turned back as she headed out the door. "And good luck finding your secret admirer or whoever it is who is leaving all those gifts!"

Twilight scrunched her face in confusion. "Secret admirer?" The idea hadn't even occurred to her.

Comments

[Mr cold ghost]

When I first read the chapter it stopped roughly two thirds of the way through. Then i refreshed the page and the rest appeared.

[Sharon Lougheed]

7801816 If the chapter cut off abruptly for you like it did for me, it looks like that just got fixed. Refreshing a few times helped. :P

[TheDriderPony]

7801852
7801851
Sorry about that, I'm not sure what happened. Everything should be fixed now.

[Hillbe]

Spikey Wikey what did you find for me?
Nothing absolutely nothing
kissy kissy
You little scamp! Are you resorting to black mail?
A SMALL PRICE FOR DIGGING UP 5 GOLDEN RINGS
GOLD DIGGER?

HE HOPPED OUT OF TH....???????

img10.deviantart.net/7308/i/2016/235/5/4/crimson_ruby_red_ruby_by_hillbe-daf21ue.jpg

Do the pixies look like these?

[Blaze the draconic mage]

This is very funny so far we have 5 golden rings four colling birds three French hens two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree now im hungry for a tasty juicey pear

[TheDriderPony]

7801864 Not quite. Imagine if someone shipped Ember and Iron Will and drew a picture of their resulting child. And then a pony came along, didn't like the product, and hastily drew pony features over the bovine ones.

[Hillbe]

7802829

[Sols Sojurn]

You know out of all the stuff Twilight is going to be getting it will only be the lords, ladys,drummers,and pipers she has no use for.

[QueenMoriarty]

Of it wasn't for the circumstances

If it wasn't

"At least until a clearer pattern merges."

emerges