An Adorable Flight Date!
Wooooooosh! 
Two soaring equine builds shot through the mid-day sky as fast as flashing lightning bolts.
They blasted through the sky like two rockets charging through the beautiful baby blue heavens. They accelerating at such break-neck speeds that, they charged through the now almost invisible clouds with colorful streaks following behind their tails. If the two ponies had not been such experienced fliers, the adrenaline from the joy-fly would have blinded their senses. Suddenly, the duo started doing tricks from a routine they had thought up together just that morning. After they had completed their amazing feats, they whizzed through the air for a bit and accelerated long past the sound barrier as they both created their own versions of Sonic Rainbooms.
Fsssssssshhhhh....BOOM!
The two explosions went off in unison, and the cascading light mixed with the golden sunshine. Finally, the end result of the projected luminosity of the light show would have made the even the most experienced Wonderbolts jealous. The unphased ponies then spiraled out of the explosion and continued on racing. Who is this awesome flying pony couple? Rainbow Dash and Soarin’ Skies? No. Any Wonderbolt ponies at all? Not at all. Thunderlane and Blossomforth? Eeenope. Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps? Not even close.
This awesome pony duo is the youngest of all the princess and guard lovers. This couple is the one that wasn’t even considered a real couple at first. This is because they barely talked to each other after they met, and have been sending each other letters for only a month now. They only just started dating…in fact, this is their very first one! What new pony couple am I talking about? Why…FlashLight of course!
They put on such a performance that they would certainly win the Wonderbolts reserve tryouts if they wanted to. Now finished with their daring tricks, Twilight and Flash Sentry are flying high in the sky while shooting as fast as rockets. The lovers are now neck-and-neck, each winged-horse striving (and struggling) to surpass one another. They were starting to move sluggishly since they had exerted such an extreme amount of energy, though they would not let either pony gain a wing up, or a nose forward.
They were both heading for the racing goal - Flash Sentry’s summer cloud home - which is directly above his normal house in the Crystal Empire. The wind in the pony’s manes felt amazing, and their excitement knew no bounds. The ponies were now 3 feet away from Flash’s second home, and the lovers gave one final push to reach their destination.
Snap! Click!
The yellow and purple ponies had crossed the finish line. The ‘finish line’ is two poles above the house (that adorned a red ribbon between them.) The photo finish proved coach Rainbow Dash’s suspicions correct…Flash Sentry had won, but only by a nose.
The exhausted couple plopped onto the bed of clouds that held up the house. They were tired, but they were beaming with pleasure. That was the very first time that Twilight had been close to beating someone with near lightning bolt speed. Flash, of course, is slower than Rainbow Dash, but he is very close to reaching her speed. Flash and Twilight have just been taught how to reach their top speed, Flash has been taught how to make his own Rainboom; and finally, both ponies can now have amazing races with each other. Compared to each other, Twilight no longer has to be the slower weaker one, and Flash no longer has to be the fast and strong one. The duo nuzzled each other, as their friend brought out chocolate cake with strawberry frosting to share, as offered by Flash Sentry. The two then stared into each other’s eyes lovingly, as Rainbow dug into her food.
“Being a coach is hard!” Rainbow thought as she waited for the other two to stop the mushy stuff. One pony is a guard and the other is a princess after all! They have to remain professional!
“Ahem.”
Dash snapped back to attention, realizing that her noisy feasting must have alerted the lovers to break out of their trance, and then they had turned their attention back to her.
“Ooops!” Dash thought. The smitten dumbos heard my bad manners...
“Sorry guys, I’ll leave you be…you did a great job today! I don’t know what I was thinking – you two DESERVE a break! *Snicker...hee-hee! Haha!* He-…have - heh- fun..heh, lovers!”
Zip!
Rainbow Dash then took off, noticing the annoyed stares she received after she stifled laughs that were directed towards the couple’s love and mushiness.
“Thanks….” Flash mouthed, while Twilight was too upset to speak after that fiasco. “Now…where were we?” Flash asked.
“Staring into each other’s eyes…” Twilight answered, her thunderous gaze melting.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………..
After about a thousand years of staring into each other’s eyes, the two decided that Twilight had better leave before the sun set. Twilight stood up, stretched her wings, then started to hover-
CRACK.
“Ohhhh!” Twilight screamed and landed back onto the cloud.
Pff!
“Ow…”
Twilight had over-exerted herself to the point of dangerousness. Her wings weren’t broken, but they needed preening – they hadn’t had a magical preen in 3 whole months. Twilight did not know how to preen herself, as reading books does not always help in the execution of actions. She would rather read a book on how to use a spell to do it, rather than risk embarrassment, and ask somepony to teach her, or do it for her. However, Flash could sense that his princess had not preened for at least 10 weeks, and he was going to step in to help.
“You OK Twilight?” Flash asked concerned, then he rushed over to help her and massage her back and wings.
“Thanks Flashie…sniff….I guess. Owwww….that hurt….”
“Here, let me preen your wings,” Flash responded, bending down to Twilight’s adorable face.
Suddenly, Twilight blushed with a furious red – with an even deeper shade that she had ever done before. Twilight felt all of her embarrassed emotions almost boil over at once, though she resisting the urge to cry or shout out ‘no’, and then she finally submitted.
“OK Flash…do your thing…”
Flash smiled, then turned around and sat up behind Twilight, as his girlfriend sat up, and rested her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. Flash kissed his girl on the head and went to work; the golden sunset cascading across the sky, threatening to set before Flash was done with Twilight. Twilight however, just teleported a note to (a now worried) Rainbow Dash about the predicament so that her friend would not be worried. She was safe with Flash, and the actions he was taking to preen her felt amazing. Flash took out the broken feathers and rearranged the good ones, a wave of euphoria enchanting them both.
Because Flash is such an experienced wing surgeon and preener, he could even preen in the darkness – perfectly in fact, and without thinking about it. The two ponies now thought about their day, and about how a simple racing date to reach Flash’s house turned into a full-blown training time with Rainbow Dash. Thinking back on it, the duo were a little upset at the strenuous work they had to put in just to have a flight date, but they were happy now – it was worth it in the end. The ponies were now stronger thank they ever were, and they had Coach Dash to thank for it.
Twilight slowly drifted off to sleep as Flash finished preening. He was uplifted by the fact that he had perfectly preened a PRINCESS – HIS princess, and that he could pass on his knowledge of preening to her in the morning. But, for now…Twilight would be staying with him tonight, as Flash’s guest. Flash picked up the princess and hovered to his house, feeling for the front door. Once he found it, he opened and shut it, picking up his favorite flashlight off of the rack to that was always stationed to the right of the door; flicked it on, and made his way upstairs to his room.
"Goodnight Twilight...", Flash whispered, "*Kiss*...I love you..." Flash gave Twilight a kiss on the head, and laid her in his own bed.
After he finished tucking Twilight snuggly in his bed covers, Flash flew to his foal brother’s newly built (and unoccupied) room, and climbed into the small bed with the warm duvet cover. Flash knew that Twilight could use a spell to make his earth pony brother, First base, (nicknamed Pop Fly), finally be able to walk on clouds. Then he would finally be able to stay in the room that his older brother had reserved for him as a surprise. Flash happily thought of his good deed – how he himself had matted feathers and barely glide-able wings; while his beautiful sleeping princess now has beautifully preened wings. However, didn't worry about himself - he seldom ever did.
Flash knew he could preen himself in the morning, for now...sleep was calling….
Dawwwwwwww! Da cuteness! ~ Part 2 coming soon! :) :D
I love FlashLight in MLP and Amourshipping in Pokemon! :3 
Do you like how I kept Flashlight anonymous at the beginning? XD
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lotus Moon · 2.2k words · 54 9 · 4k views
- StarGalaxy Offical · 1.1k words · 22 11 · 1.9k views
- Twilight Writer · 7.7k words · 14 1 · 1.1k views
- HarryBuilder · 22k words · 50 22 · 3.5k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.089 seconds
Total duration
1,001 users online
1,541,025 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This was cute, Good story so far.
Have to say the story was pretty crap. As this is your tenth story I would expect you to have done some more research on both writing and getting advice from other authors. The story description alone puts me off due to terrible Grammar and cringe inducing writing. I would seriously consider going back to the drawing board and getting proof readers/ critics to tear your story apart to help you improve.
This is very cute and features best couple and I am definitely following. i will say that it could use some work and require editing but its a great start and a really cute concept. I hope you look back and edit it and make this one of the cutest entries for the pairing ever...FlashLight shine bright!
7783283 Thanks! :)
7783429 Thanks! :)
I looked up a lot of words to use in it, and I used them carefully! I wasn't expecting this to be perfect, but it's good at least! :)
7783392 Ok thanks...I'll get some editors!
Also: The info was updated!
People know that Twilight and flash have wings no need to say winged dating couple. Couple would suffice here. Also if they finally go on a date then they were not really dating.
Does not read right. Rework it.
The coach bit is not really needed. Also "Dash to dragged them out" does not make sense. 'Dash dragged them out' or 'dash forcefully dragged them out' may work instead.
Useless information that could be saved for the story. All the reader needs to know is the basic plot of the story. All you should mention is that the two are out on a date Dash hijacks the date and dash and Flash decide to teach Twilight how to preen.
At the end of the day, the duo tries to leave Flash's home,
So far you have mentioned them going to and trying to leave the house now. This seems like useless information and I would seriously rework it or remove it if I were you.
This seems like worthless information and would be better suited to the story itself. Remember you are giving a description of the story and what its major theme is not telling half the story.
Pegasus is spelt wrong. Also once again useless information
This part is not bad but given it
The second part of this is just drivel I would bin it.
Would bin the first half of this part. Also replace preening flight date with just date.
Either have "Couldn't have ended sweeter." Or "Couldn't have had a sweeter ending. "Have had with" Does not make sense.
Late as buggery here so I apologise if my comment is not as useful as it could be. Read over what i said and as always take it with a pinch of salt your writing style is of course different to mine. All I wish to do is help you mend mistakes I made when i first started writing and in many cases still guilty of making.
7783528 Oh thanks! This is a lot clearer, I'll edit this! By the way, what do I need to edit in the actual story?
7783630 Christ that is a bit harder. The biggest thing you could start with is removing some of the examples you use for description.
It was a stunning day in Ponyville all around the bustle of day to day activities went about as normal. With the heat wave that had struck the town the last few days many ponies were taking shelter down by the lake.
The lake's surface shimmered like a bed of diamonds, laying unperturbed by the day to day activities of ponies. Its calm surface reflecting the activities of the Pegasus as they set to work moving clouds and delivering packages. Though high above ponies could just make out the shapes of two silhouettes. The two in question shot though the open sky, chasing one another as ponies stopped to watch.
The princess of magic and her personal guard had not exactly been discreet with their newly founded relationship. The two were to coin a phrase head over hooves for each other. As evident from their carefree laughs as they chased each other, using the many untouched clouds for hiding spots.
Now this is just an example and a poor one at that but you get the idea as the description is less in your face and blends better. In my opinion it reads better than what you had originally. It is not perfect but what it does do is set up the scene as well as introduce the characters.
Look PM me tomorrow and I will sit you down and we can dissect the story together and I will try my best to help.
7783742 OK, thanks! :)
Uhh, good beginning? Sorry, I accidentally read this when I misclicked
)
( And I do not like Flashlight
Anyway, I read through this and It's kinda cute? I guess. Though I like it if they get how their relationship started. Its very cute if the writers do that.
7836759 Yeah lol I'm going for that storyline a bit! I'm glad you like it even though you don't like the ship! ;)
This is gonna be good!
8584360
Thank you!
I was a little apprehensive about reading this considering that it hasn't been updated in about 2 years. It's a nice fluffy story, but it needs a bit of a better exposition. I liked the ending though.
9573876
LOL, thanks for reading my old, slightly cringy story that I forgot to update. How could I add some more exposition? And thanks for giving it the benefit of the doubt! XD I'm updating this sometime this year, I have to now lol.
9578228
Well, it needs more detail about how Flash and Twilight ended up racing each other and why and about how Dash ended up crashing their date. That's all.
9578261
Oh, yeah, thanks! I'll add that and update this when I can! :D
Sweet story