My True Self

by _Undefined_

Chapter 2: The Agency

The flight from Baltimare to Canterlot wasn’t very long. Before Sweetie Drops knew it, her chariot was touching down at the Royal Guard Support Corps headquarters. She quickly wiped her tears away, sat back up, then followed the guards to the recruitment building.

Regardless of what Straight Lace believed, the Royal Guard and its affiliated branches welcomed all ponies, regardless of sexual orientation. A number of same-sex and bisexual soldiers served openly and without discrimination. If Straight Lace had ever disclosed his motive for enlisting his daughter with the Royal Guard Support Corps, they would have immediately informed him of his misconception. However, the staffing officer only knew what was written on the paperwork in front of him.

“So, you’re the daughter of our chief field agent in the Administration for the Redistribution of Magical Imbalances,” he said to Sweetie Drops, who sat alone in his office. He tapped his pen against his chin. “And I take it from your name and your cutie mark that you know a thing or two about sweets?”

“Yes,” Sweetie Drops said curtly. This stallion represented everything that she hated about her father – she wasn’t going to give him any more information than what he requested.

“Mm-hmm…” the staffing officer said, deep in thought. After a few moments, he spoke. “It says here that your father was expecting you to be assigned to our food service division. However, I have another assignment which I think you may be well-suited for. I have to tell you, though, it would be working for one of our top-secret agencies – an agency that the general public doesn’t know exists. You would be sworn to secrecy both during and after your time there, and you’d be subject to severe criminal charges if you ever revealed its secrets. Not even your family would be informed of your whereabouts and duties. Would you be willing to agree to that?”

Sweetie Drops considered what the officer was saying. If she was going to be forced into serving Canterlot’s military organization in some way – and it was apparent that she was – then being ordered to break off contact with her family actually sounded like a benefit. Besides, cooking vegetables all day every day for hundreds of soldiers didn’t exactly appeal to her.

“I would agree to that,” she said, slightly less icily.

“Excellent,” the staffing officer said. “I’ll send you over to the office of Steel Poise.”

---

“Welcome, Miss Sweetie Drops,” said Steel Poise, an earth pony who sat behind a sturdy wooden desk. Befitting her name, her coat was a medium metallic gray color and her mane was a lustrous light blue. She spoke in a direct, no-nonsense manner, which was to be expected of a pony with a leadership position in a Canterlot military agency. But even though her voice conveyed confidence, it wasn’t intimidating – Sweetie Drops could tell that Steel Poise was treating her with respect.

“Before I tell you why you’re here, you’ll need to sign some very important paperwork swearing that you’ll never disclose any information you learn here. But before you sign that paperwork, I want you to be aware of the risks you’re agreeing to, because I know Staffing never informs cadets of everything they’re getting into before they’re sent my way.”

Sweetie Drops braced herself upon hearing the word “risks.” “Okay,” she replied, trying to sound confident.

“If you join this agency, you will be sent out to potentially remote locations to do potentially dangerous work. And when I say ‘potentially dangerous,’ that includes ‘potentially life-threatening.’ We work with a scientific agency which provides us with intel that we use so we can do our jobs safely and with a minimum of risk. I’m proud to say that to date, nopony has died while serving this agency – and we’ve been around for a good number of years. However, I won’t lie to you: We have had a few close calls.

“The reason this work is potentially dangerous is because you will be encountering creatures which pose a threat to ponies’ safety. We do not deal with dragons, but since those are creatures everypony has heard of, I’ll use them for comparison. The creatures we deal with are smaller than full-grown dragons. However, some of them are still considerably larger than ponies, and like dragons, they have the ability to do ponies harm.

“If you do commendable work in the field, you will eventually be promoted to supervising positions. As a result, you won’t have to go out as often, which makes the job safer. On average, our agents receive these promotions in about three or four years. Some do it more quickly. Some quit before they have the chance to be promoted. You will always have the option to leave this agency – of course, if you do, your nondisclosure agreement will still be binding for the rest of your life.”

Steel Poise took a drink from the glass of water sitting on her desk. “So those are the risks. Do you have any questions?”

Sweetie Drops felt a little overwhelmed. “You said that I always have the option to quit if the work becomes too dangerous?” she asked.

“That’s right,” Steel Poise said. “Although you will be required to complete at least one field mission before you make that decision. We don’t have the resources to train ponies if they’re going to turn around and not serve at all.”

Sweetie Drops considered her options. She could take the dangerous, though probably not lethal, job. Or she could take the safer food service job and do exactly what her father had planned for her to do.

“I’ll join,” she said.

“Very good,” Steel Poise said. She gave Sweetie Drops a multiple-page legal form. “This is our nondisclosure agreement – it’s the thing that says you agree to never reveal what you learn here. If you do reveal something, it will be considered an act of espionage. Please read it thoroughly before you sign it.”

Sweetie Drops carefully read the document while Steel Poise kept herself busy with unrelated paperwork. Finally, Sweetie Drops picked up a pen with her teeth, initialed in the indicated spaces, and signed her name to the bottom.

Steel Poise picked up the nondisclosure agreement and gave Sweetie Drops a smile.

“Welcome to the Monster Containment Agency.”

---

The office space for the Monster Containment Agency wasn’t particularly large. So Steel Poise’s tour of Sweetie Drops’ new workplace was already nearing its end.

“And this is where we’ll put you for now,” she said, pointing to an empty desk in an open space containing eight desks. “When you’re not preparing for a specific mission, you’ll be expected to learn about the various monsters we’ve captured in the past, in case a similar one shows up out of nowhere. You can decorate the desk with your own mementos a little bit if you want, but keep things easy to move. Ponies will be relocated from desk to desk somewhat regularly based on who’s assigned to what at the moment.”

“How often do we get assignments?” Sweetie Drops asked.

“It depends on what’s been sighted recently,” Steel Poise said. “Being assigned to a case is more than just going to the field and stopping the monster. There’s a lot of preparation that takes place before that, so don’t expect a lot of free time. Actually, as soon as I finish showing you around, you’re going to be assigned to your first case. It looks like it’ll be a pretty easy one, so this will be a good way for you to get your hooves wet and get a feel for the agency.”

She led Sweetie Drops into a room lined with file cabinets of different sizes. “This is where we store the information on all of the monsters we’ve captured. Also the monsters which live in the wilder parts of Equestria. If they live far enough away and don’t pose a threat to ponies, we leave them be. Both because we don’t want to interfere with nature any more than necessary and because we’d rather focus our efforts on stopping the most imminent threats.”

She pulled on one of the drawer handles. The drawer didn’t budge. “You’ll notice that all of these cabinets are locked. I have the key. The information will be distributed on a need-to-know basis – either when you’re between assignments or when the information may be helpful to your current case.”

She pointed to a set of smaller cabinets. “These are the employee cabinets. One drawer will be assigned to you and you’ll be given the key. Before you leave the office each day, place any classified documents you’re using inside your drawer and lock it. Maintaining the agency’s secrecy is crucial – even the janitorial staff doesn’t have any idea what we do here.”

“Why is this a secret agency?” Sweetie Drops asked.

“It’s for the good of Equestria,” Steel Poise replied. “After you work here for a while, you’ll be surprised at how many different monsters live in this nation. And I don’t mean wild animals – I mean actual monsters. If ponies knew just how many creatures were out there that had the ability to destroy their homes or devour them whole, they’d spend all of their time panicking and no time working. Equestria’s productivity would suffer, and as a result, ponykind itself would decline. As they say, ignorance is bliss – and it’s our job to make sure ponies remain ignorant.”

She led Sweetie Drops back to the desks. “That’s about it. I’ll give you a few minutes to get settled in. The other agents here will want to say to hello to you. I’ll be back to brief you on your first assignment soon.”

Sweetie Drops sat down at her desk. She hadn’t brought any items from home, so there was nothing for her to do to settle in. After the other agents sitting nearby introduced themselves to her, Steel Poise returned and called Sweetie Drops and four other ponies to the briefing room.

In the briefing room, Steel Poise closed the blinds and turned on a slide projector. A drawing of a snake-like creature with what appeared to be small flowers on its head was displayed on the screen.

Steel Poise picked up a pointer and immediately began to speak. “This is the cerastes. It may look like just a snake in this picture, but it’s big – your average pony is only about this size compared to it.” Waving the pointer up and down, she drew an invisible vertical line in front of the creature’s mouth. The line was barely taller than its head.

Sweetie Drops was beginning to regret agreeing to this.

“Eagle Eye, please advance to the next slide,” Steel Poise said. A pegasus sitting in the back did so. The new drawing displayed on the screen provided a more detailed look at the monster’s head.

Steel Poise continued. “Take a look at the four protrusions on the top of its head, which for lack of a better term, I’ll call antennae. As you can see, they resemble daisies. This creature spends most of its time hidden just below the surface of the ground. The only parts of it that are visible are the antennae, so to the casual observer, there’s just a small bunch of flowers poking up. If an animal – or pony – gets too close, then the cerastes will lunge and try to eat them. Next slide.”

Now a map was displayed on the screen. “The cerastes was spotted in the plains near Buffalo Springs. There aren’t any major pony cities nearby, and the buffalo have been avoiding the area, so it hasn’t attracted much attention. Your job is to capture it before it does attract attention. Next slide.”

The words “LURE,” “TRANQUILIZE,” and “BAG” showed up on the screen. “The mission is simple. First, lure the cerastes out of hiding. We have dummies stuffed with hay which should do the trick. Then, when the cerastes is in the open, quickly shoot it with a tranquilizer dart. The cerastes may be large, but it’s also very slender, so it won’t take much to knock it out. It’s extremely flexible and agile, though, so watch your aim. Finally, tie it up inside the long, narrow canvas bag which you’ll be provided with. When the creature is secured, some pegasi from the Aerial Division will be by to take it to Tartarus.”

Steel Poise walked to the back of the room, turned off the slide projector, and opened the blinds. She addressed the recruits sitting in the room. “Thundershock, Panacea, Sweetie Drops: I know this is the first assignment for you three, and you’re probably a little nervous.”

Sweetie Drops felt that “a little” was an understatement.

“Don’t worry – if we thought there was a significant degree of danger, then we wouldn’t have put so many rookies on one team. Don’t do anything stupid, and you’ll be fine. Soothe Sayer, you’ll find this mission to be much simpler than your mission with the great horned mandrill. Your supervisor for this mission will be Eagle Eye. The four of you report to Eagle Eye and Eagle Eye reports to me. With that, I turn things over to Eagle Eye. Do the agency proud.”

Steel Poise saluted by means of a quick, professional nod and left the room. Eagle Eye stood up before the other four.

“I have a dossier for each of you containing the information you just saw as well as guidelines for what you’ll be doing once you’re in the field. You’ll spend the rest of the day today studying this dossier. Tomorrow, you’ll train with the equipment you’ll be using on this mission – the dummies, the tranquilizer gun, and the bag. Truthfully, the hardest part is going to be wrapping the bag around a giant unconscious snake.

“Then, you head out to Buffalo Springs and capture the cerastes. It’ll be easy to locate – just look for a patch of four daisies sitting by themselves. Now, there is a daisy field adjacent to where you’ll first be looking. Hopefully, the cerastes doesn’t decide to make its home in there. If you don’t find the cerastes anywhere else nearby, then carefully check out the daisy field. The four daisies on the cerastes’ head will be a little larger than the naturally-occurring daisies, so if you keep your eyes peeled, you’ll see it.”

Eagle Eye distributed the dossiers, then dismissed the other four ponies. The four returned to their desks, and because Eagle Eye was out of earshot, began quietly discussing the assignment among themselves.

“So, three of us have never gone out on a mission before?” asked Thundershock, a male pegasus with a light gray coat and a yellow mane. “And they’re sending us to track down a pony-eating snake? I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or terrified.”

“I’m leaning toward terrified,” Sweetie Drops said.

“Me too,” said Panacea, a unicorn whose coat was a light vanilla color. He had a muted chartreuse mane and a cutie mark of an aloe leaf dripping gel. He turned toward the other member of their group, a light lilac-colored earth pony with a pink and white mane and a cutie mark depicting a lamb. “Soothe Sayer, how many missions have you been on?”

“Just one,” she said. “I hope Steel Poise was telling the truth when she said this one is going to be easier.”

“So, she either trusts us a lot or she wants to send us to our deaths,” said Thundershock. “Did anypony check that this isn’t actually called the Monster Feeding Agency?” He tried to laugh to indicate that he was joking, but it came out as a nervous chuckle. None of the others found it particularly funny.

Sweetie Drops wished that Thundershock hadn’t planted that thought in her head. She wasn’t usually prone to paranoia, but would her parents really want to… no. That was crazy talk.

---

The next day, when the recruits practiced carrying the dummy and shooting the tranquilizer gun, Sweetie Drops became slightly less nervous. No one was allowed to leave until they were all completely comfortable with the plan and how to execute it, and the training was structured to promote teamwork and encouragement rather than competition.

Still, there was no mistake that they were in a military setting. When the team was dismissed for lunch, Sweetie Drops decided to lighten the mood by walking over to one of the pony-shaped burlap wrappings stuffed with hay.

“I’m headed out to lunch,” Sweetie Drops said to the dummy. “You want anything?” She paused for a moment. “Well, I don’t know if they’re serving potatoes, but I’ll certainly check.” Another pause. “Ah, I didn’t know your mother was a sack of potatoes. I thought it would be rude to ask.”

“Sweetie Drops!” snapped Eagle Eye. “You are a member of the Royal Guard now! There is no place for frivolity here! Drop the stand-up routine!”

Sweetie Drops lowered her head. “Yes, ma’am,” she said quietly.

After training, the team was encouraged to get a good night’s sleep, although dreams of a giant snake’s gaping jaws made that a difficult proposition for Sweetie Drops. Regardless, the next morning, the four new recruits traveled by train to Buffalo Springs. They were going undercover as everyday citizens – all of their gear was concealed inside ordinary-looking luggage.

From the train station, they walked outside of the city to the area where the cerastes had last been sighted. The two earth ponies and unicorn carefully walked forward while Thundershock flew ahead, scouting the surrounding land for four out-of-place daisies.

As the three gravity-bound ponies walked, Soothe Sayer, who had been assigned to the MCA because her special talent was speaking in a soothing manner that calmed both ponies and beasts alike, saw the legs of her teammates trembling. She tried to put them at ease.

“We’re all going to be fine,” she said confidently. “My last mission had a lot more variables than this one, and everypony carried out their parts perfectly – even me, and that was my first time. We know what we’re doing, and we even know what to do if something unexpected happens. Nothing is going to go wrong.”

Panacea’s legs stopped trembling. He smiled gratefully at her, and she smiled warmly in return. Sweetie Drops’ legs trembled less than before. But she was too busy nervously scanning the ground directly in front of them for overlooked daisies to be completely calmed.

After a few minutes, Thundershock returned with a smile on his face. “I found the cerastes – it’s hiding in a patch of tall grass about four hundred yards that way,” he pointed. “From above, I could even make out the bulge of its body under the ground. There’s nopony around. Let’s do this.”

Thundershock led the three to a spot in the plains where they could see the daisies but still be far enough away to be safe. There, Panacea opened the large suitcase he had been wheeling behind him and unfolded the hay-filled dummy stuffed inside. While the dummy was vaguely pony-shaped, it wasn’t at all detailed – the cerastes just needed to think there was some kind of animal nearby. He attached one end of a long rope to the dummy and the other to a pole that was to be carried by Thundershock.

Meanwhile, Soothe Sayer and Sweetie Drops were unpacking two tranquilizer guns. They loaded each with a dart containing a tranquilizer specifically formulated to knock out the cerastes. The plan was for Soothe Sayer to take the shot, with Sweetie Drops serving as backup if she missed or if the weapon failed. Extra darts were kept at the ready if they each missed their initial shots.

The two earth ponies took their stance and aimed toward the daisies. Thundershock took the pole, flew into the air, and began bouncing the dummy along the ground. Panacea watched intently – his job was to grab the dummy and manipulate it with his magic if the cerastes severed the rope. He had also been trained on how to use the tranquilizer gun, just in case.

The dummy bounced closer to the daisies. The rope was longer than the cerastes’ body, so Thundershock was out of harm’s way even if the cerastes spotted him in the air and was somehow able to stand on its tail.

When the dummy was about two body lengths away from the daisies, an enormous serpentine head erupted from the ground. Sweetie Drops almost accidentally fired her gun right then and there, the movement was so sudden. In an instant, the cerastes clamped its jaws completely around the dummy.

Everyone tried their hardest not to think about what it would be like to be in that dummy’s position.

Thundershock was tugged downward, but kept his hold on the rope. Panacea was ready to catch the pole and levitate it back up to his partner if necessary. Thundershock tugged on the rope, trying to make the dummy move inside the cerastes’ mouth. The cerastes, mistaking the rope for some kind of long tail, emerged further from the ground to try to ingest it.

More than half of the monster’s body was visible, which was good enough for Soothe Sayer. She fired her tranquilizer gun and hit the cerastes square in its side. The cerastes screamed, allowing Thundershock to pull the dummy from its mouth. Both of the dummy’s rear legs were bent at unnatural angles. The cerastes lunged and snapped its jaws, tearing the dummy apart at the waist.

Thundershock flew straight up, carrying the rest of the dummy with him. The cerastes looked up but didn’t make an attempt to pursue. This was the moment of truth – with food now in its mouth, the cerastes would try to wriggle its way back into the ground. But if the tranquilizer was effective, then it wouldn’t get very far.

With its last lunge, most of the cerastes’ body had been exposed. The remainder of its tail emerged from its hiding place. The cerastes slithered forward a little bit – to the recruits’ relief, in a direction perpendicular to where they were positioned. The cerastes stopped. It began to thrash its body in an attempt to dislodge the dart that was still impaled in its skin. Not only did the cerastes fail to remove the dart, but it used a lot of energy in the process. Soon, its eyelids closed and it was motionless.

Thundershock flew back to his teammates. They stayed silent and watched the cerastes. According to the plan, if they saw no signs of alertness in the next five minutes, they would use the dummy’s suitcase as another lure. If the cerastes didn’t respond, then they could assume it truly was knocked out cold, at which point Panacea would, from a distance, levitate the large canvas bag over the monster’s head. The team would then approach the body and finish bagging it.

Everything went according to plan. And as Eagle Eye had predicted, the most difficult part – or at least, the most physically demanding part – was trying to maneuver the tubular bag around the unconscious cerastes. Eventually, the team tied off the end of the bag, at which point Thundershock flew off toward the nearest Royal Guard outpost to alert the Aerial Division to pick it up. Sweetie Drops and the other two recruits exhaled a collective sigh of relief.

Sweetie Drops had survived her first mission.