• Published 12th Dec 2016
  • 9,657 Views, 143 Comments

I'M STAR SWIRL THE FRIGGIN' BEARDED - Gravestone



Transported to Equistria as a pony I could have been anyone Tai,Luna one of the mane six I'd be happy as Pipsqueak, but no I'm turned it to Star Swirl the Bearded.

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THE FOURTH CHAPTER

It has been a month since the three royal plots chose to well you know. Anyway, right now I'm walking through the city with Sparkletush on our way to do something. To be completely honest I had no idea what we're doing I kind of tuned out what she said this morning and I am getting really ticked off at the way all these so-called nobles are looking at us. See after the big announcement of the girls and I decided to form a herd there was a big uproar. Care to take a guess how was having the hissy fit, anyone yep those pain in the flank no-balls.

Let's see if I can remember some of the things they said, "This is a travesty, If you are to wed then let it be with a noble, This Lonesome peasant isn't fit to be near you, What is the meaning of this? Put us down, My mane my tail I'm bald AHHHHHHHH! " Those last three were the no-balls freaking out when I got pissed and started to throw them out of the room well except for Jet Set and Upper Crust I just made them go bald. Did I forget to mention that I really hated those two?

There was some good news out of the one hundred nobles twenty were thrilled for us Fancy Pants, Hoity Toity, and Fleur de Lis to name a few. Here's a shocker Blue Blood was one of those who was happy for us, to be honest, I found out while the four of us will be gone on our year-long honeymoon he'll be in charge. Although I don't think he knows that Discord, Cadance, and Shining Armor will be watching over him to keep him in line but who am I do crush someponies dream. Suddenly Twi stops dead in her tracks which caused me to back peddle rearing up I lost balance and came down. To the eyes of everypony else it looked like I was mounting Twilight in public not missing a beat I leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"I'm not complaining how we ended up like this, but next time could you tell me when you're going to stop suddenly or I might just keep going and plow you I, mean through."

Bless her heart without missing a beat Twilight just teleported out from under me causing me to fall forward with a thud. Getting up with a groan I look over to my left and see her standing there with a smug look on her muzzle.

"What are you smiling about I saw your ear twitch you were thinking about it too," I said standing to my full height.

"True but unlike you, I am not an exhibitionist." She said as she turned to face the direction we were going before this happened.

Turning my attention to where Twi was looking I laid my eyes on a moderately nice house I could tell it was a Victorian-style manor house with a white picket fence.

"So what are we doing here again house hunting or something?" I asked receiving a confused and annoyed look from Twilight.

"No this is the house I grew up in and we're here so you can meet my parents," Twi said with a big smile on her face.

Hearing those words caused me to do a 180 and start heading back to the castle.

"Nope, nope, nope not gonna happen parents and I don't mix I'm outta here call me when you're done I'll be at the bar," I said as I started to walk away only to be stopped by her magic bringing back to her side.

"Come on Alex it won't be as bad as you think my parents are going to love you," Twilight says as she nuzzles my neck.

Pulling back I give her a deadpan stare."Seriously do you not remember what happened when your brother met me?"

"It wasn't that bad." She said with a little chuckle.

"That bad, that bad Twi he ordered the royal guard to hunt me down so he could skin me alive and turn me into a eunuch. I'm just glad that Cadance threatened him that if anything happened he would be sleeping on the couch for the rest of his life. Now as for your parents I see your mother being so happy that she can't contain herself, her little girl found someone to spend the rest of her life with and give her more grandchildren your dad will more than likely want me dead."I say to her as her parents stand at the door looking at us.

Turning our attention to them I see my assumptions were correct Twilight's mother had a smile that could put the Pink Party Pony of Ponyville to shame while her father was giving me the stinkeye.

"Mom, dad it's so good to see you," Twilight said as she rushed up to hug them. "Allow me to introduce my coltfriend and fiancee Alex," she said stepping away from them to stand by my side.

"Hello there as Twilight said my name is Alex, I'm a former human turned pony from a different world and if you wondering why I look like Starswirl it is because in my world I was his direct descendant and it just so happens that my pony form is a dead ringer of his, "I say in one breath while extending my hoof.

The silence that followed was uber scary I mean there wasn't even a cricket chirping. luckily Twilight's mother broke it up by inviting us inside. Side note here Twilight's mom's name is Twilight and to be honest she happens to be a MILB. (a Mare I'd Like to Buck) Don't judge me she may be twice my age but Celestia and Luna are thousands of years old and I'm still willing to tap those plots.

Once inside we made our way to the living room Twilight and I sat on the couch while her parents sat across from us. To my surprise, it wasn't as bad as I thought especially with all the embarrassing little stories Twi's mom was telling me. Here are some things you should know Twilight's mom asked me to call her mom while her dad Nightlite said to call him Night. Now, where was I?

You were talking about all the embarrassing stuff that happened to Twilight when she was younger.

Thank you... Wait a minute Pinkie what are you doing here your not in this story.

Yes I am you just don't know it yet.

Fine whatever. Can you let me get back to the story and no more fourth wall breaking this thing is already weird as it is just talking to you.

Only if you promise that you'll write me and my friends into this story.

Fine I promise to

NO PINKIE PROMISE!!!

Okay, ok, Cross my heart hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye. There you happy?

Okie Dokie Lokie!!

Alex, Alex are you alright you kind of just froze there for a moment I was a little scared. Twilight said as she nuzzled me.

As she pulled away a faint sound could be heard on the wind faint but you could just make it out. FOREVER

Looking at me Twilight cocked her eyebrow."You just made a Pinkie Promise didn't you?"

"I don't know, yes, maybe that, or I just sold my soul to the devil. Either way, I'm screwed aren't I?" I said with a hint of fear in my voice.

"As long as you don't break it you'll be safe." She said with a smile.

Anywho we continued our conversation and I'd have to say that her parents started to accept me more and more. Velvet or mom liked it when I told her about all the different types of literature that were from my world. See she wrote children's stories and when I told her about Grimm's fairy tales, Aesop's fables, mother goose, and others. Needless to say, she talked me into coming to see her publisher with her and has recited the stories I can remember and have all of them rewritten for the foals of Equestria to enjoy. Don't judge me I wasn't going to take credit for them. I was just going to tell them the stories and who wrote them so no copyrighting hell I'm not even getting paid for it. As for Night he like most guys had two things he loved the most sports and work. Sports was a little hard due to the fact only two games transferred over to pony Hoofball and Soccer aka Football/ rugby and soccer. For the work part, he is an astronomer so I told him about all the stuff humans did like the Mars Rover, the Moon landing, the Voyager space probes, and the Space Station. After hearing about all of that he decided to make plans to build a rocket to orbit the planet.
Note to self, stop talking about human stuff with ponies.

After the visit Twilight and I made our way back to the castle. We were about a block away when I stopped.I don't know why but there was something bothering me and I just couldn't shake it. Seeing my distress Twilight came over and placed her hoof on my shoulder.

"Hey, Alex is everything alright the way you look right now is making me a little worried." She said to me with heartfelt concern in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine I was just thinking," I said faking a smile.

"Really what about?" She said tilting her head to the side.

"Well all of this, I said waving my hoof around. "You, me the princesses, I just want to know why, why the three of you chose to start a herd with?

"Is that all?" Twilight said with a smile on her face.

I looked at her with a deadpan expression. "Oh, come on Sparlketush, I'm rude vulgar and I've teased you three more than Trollestia herself. I want to know why after all of that you girls still want to be with me?"

"True, but I can give you three important examples of why we chose you." She said stepping back and putting her serious face on.

"First off remember when those nobles were bad-mouthing Luna and you told them that everypony is allowed to make mistakes no matter who they are and if they can't accept that then they can take a flying leap off a cliff for all you cared. In fact, you decided to help them out by volunteering to throw a couple of them off yourself.
Second, when all those dignitaries showed up and were causing Celestia so much grief, she looked so stressed that I was afraid she would have sent some of them to the moon, but you stepped in and told them that if they couldn't figure out their own problems then they needed to quiet and have someone smarter take over. And after that, you took her to the spa so she could relax.
And lastly, remember when I caught the feather flu you stayed by my side the whole time taking care of me making sure I was alright, you even preened my wings every day to make sure I didn't lose any feathers." Twilight said smiling with tears in her eyes.

"Really I did all of that?" I asked with a shocked expression.

Twilight just nodded her head.

"Damn, I must have been really drunk or my blood sugar was low because I am never that nice," I said with a sheepish smile.

She just rolled her eyes and chuckled before turning to head back to the castle.

Following behind her I decided to have a little fun copying the scene from one of my favorite movies.
Walking behind her I pump my hips saying her name in a creepy tone the whole way back with her telling me to stop it but me being me I just kept it up making her hole coat turn beet red and everypony around look at me like I was completely crazy.

After we entered the castle Twilight turned around and looked at me with absolute hatred in her eyes. "Do you know how embracing that was?" She screamed at me.

I just shrugged and walked up to her giving her a kiss on the lips before trotting away calling back, "I love you to Twily!"

Looking over my shoulder I say Twilight stands there for a moment be for looking at me with a loving smile on her face.

"This isn't so bad I've got three mares that are in love with me, even if I am a jerk sometimes and they want to start a family could my life get any better than this?" I thought to myself before I realized I called forth Murphy's Law. Seconds later I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and everything went black.

Screw you Murphy and your stupid law thing jerk.