• Member Since 8th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen 15 hours ago

RainCrasher


Just a crazy bat pony who loves to classy slice of life or romance stories, and action adventure type stories to pass the time.

T
Source

The Fringelands, Home to those who wish to form their own path, whatever it may be. Anything can and probably has happened here.. But what happens when one pony who shouldn't exist finds himself in this land? Can he survive and make friends? Or will the darkness that hides in this land and how he came to be consume him.



Cover picture belongs to the one who created it, i just found it on google images.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 6 )

Interesting beginning. Pulls you in, but I noticed some typos.

7773220 thanks for helping me correct said mistakes

An interesting choice of narrative voice. Reminiscent of a Grimm's Fairy Tale.

I like how you explore the world with the continent beyond Equestria. It sounds really cool, particularly because I'm a sucker for forests and wilderness. ^w^ You do a good job painting a picture. It's hard to do just narrative, especially when it's introducing a story, but I think you're well on your way there!

Your story is really well done for a first one. To be sure one of the better first stories I've read here on the site. Just some very minor grammar issues that could be fixed with a scrutinizing eye.

This Cadavers body

Should be

This Cadaver's body

That sort of thing, but absolutely nothing major.

I also would recommend using internet formatting instead of paragraph indentation. Though in novels and published works, you need indentation, it actually makes it much harder to read online. When I post online, I don't indent paragraphs, I just add a space between them and that acts the same as indentation.

Great work. I especially like the zombie pony. Very interesting . . .

7773399 thank you for the suggestions and tips, Im glad you like it so far! I wanted to do a unique cast and setting.. I dont feel like i could catch the mane 6 and mane characters well.

Well, I am intrigued. I hope to see more of it soon.

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