Epilogue
-*- Cain/Strife -*-
{One Week Later}
“Come on ya lazy bones, if we don’t hurry up she’s going to sick the twins on us again!”
I shook my head as I gazed into the mirror, looking at the reflection that was currently showing elements of Strife’s feminine form and my marginally more androgynous form I had worked to create over the last few days.
I rolled my blue colored eye as Strife’s red one glared at me, blinking our eyelid shut and replacing it with another blue one as I said “Oh hush, it’s bad enough I have to go to this party… Mrs.Cake has already told me that Pinkie’s invited half the town, and you know that I hate big parties.”
Strife wasn’t too happy about being punted back into our shared mind, but relented for the moment. ~And that was a compromise you got out of her only after threatening to sneak oats into her breakfast for a week. A good idea, sure, but I was looking forward to the big crowd.~
“And you can get over it.” I replied, finishing the transition to my form as I let out a content sigh. “Besides, you’ve been reneging on part of your deal on our time sharing of this body… so making sure only a quarter of the town shows up is more than enough to get back at you.”
The party of course was the usual “Welcome to Ponyville” style party that Pinkie Pie loved to throw for people moving into town. We had officially moved into a guest room in the Cake’s home just two days prior, and Pinkie had insisted that we do a party to get us both introduced to the townsfolk.
The idea of being the center of attention for every. Single. Citizen. Had scared me shitless, though Strife had been ecstatic, perhaps thinking of all the sorts of trouble she could get into.
Determined both to keep that from happening, and prevent the party from going sour by my fainting, I had blackmailed our new mother into doing a fair bit of trimming to the birthday guest list. For now anyways… Mama Pie had assured me that she would throw three more parties eventually to make sure we met EVERYPONY in town.
~Just remember they have to get to meet me first you know… Mama Pie said we swap out each hour til the party ends.~ Strife reminded me as I headed out of the bathroom and into the hallway. I could hear Pinkie and company downstairs, busy moving all of the food and drinks into a cart to be transported over to the community center, where the party was being thrown.
“Yeah yeah… keep your horns on buddy.” I mumbled as I headed on down to join them, knowing that Pinkie Pie wanted me to come on down and ride with them… even though we could both fly…well, hover… same difference.
~By the way… I got a birthday present for us....~ Strife said in a sing song tone.
“Better not be the super-duper chocolate frosted cake that has tiny bits of chocolate inside, chocolate filling and white chocolate drizzles. I really don’t want to be sick again from sugar overdose..." That monstrosity had been made while we were recovering in Canterlot, Strife deciding she was really in the mood for something sweet and Pinkie being more than happy to oblige her.
~No, I’ve been working on a way to temporarily split us in two, mostly when you are asleep.~
Hearing this put a glare on my face as I halted, midway down the stairs. “And the reason you haven't told me about this is?"
~It turns me into a filly unicorn and you into a filly pegasus, just like we were when we shared DIamond Tiara's mind. And I can't use chaos magic like that save to change back.~
"And?"
~Turns out Discord left out yet another detail out...~
"Just spill it out already!"
~When we were split like that, I felt a mental connection with you, but also with Diamond Tiara, can you guess what it means?.~
I froze, no it couldn't be, could it?
"Please tell me it doesn't mean the three of us are still part of the same being."
~Fortunately, it doesn't, but once Diamond Tiara reaches a certain age and notices she is no longer getting old I dunno how she will react. We sort of share some of our power with her, and the Elements only muted that connection for a while.~
Knowing that Diamond Tiara was basically as eternal as we would be, I decided to do the sensible thing and just ignore it and go to the party. After all, we had some years until things became evident to her… and maybe Strife was wrong.
A part of me was irritated at the news, fearing we could get stuck inside Diamond’s head again. The other side was happy we would have a friend our age to share the centuries with… at least assuming what Celestia and Luna had told us about Draconequi was true.
Pushing such thoughts aside for later, I stepped out the kitchen door, seeing that everything was packed and ready and Pinkie Pie was eagerly bouncing in anticipation, I gave her and the Cakes a smile as I climbed on in.
“Right, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” I said as the Cakes started pulling the cart. Pinkie Pie giggled and snorted at this, booping me on the nose as she said
“Silly, we’re not going on the road, we’re just headed into town.”
“I think you took that too literally Pinkie,” Was my only reply as I shook my head, turning my gaze up to the skies above as I could see Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy already flying off towards the center of town.
My thoughts began to wander, as they had been doing a great deal the last few days. Everything that had happened to me since getting here… it was all pretty crazy, and I’d been trying to make some sense of it all.
Strife had suggested I try to frame the thoughts in the form of a sort of friendship letter to the Princesses. I thought that she had been joking… but I had gone ahead with it anyways… I closed my eyes and took a moment to recall everything I had figured out...
Honesty
I still missed my family back on Earth, but after a week of having it sink in, I had to admit that the friends I had made in Equestria were important for me. Twilight Sparkle saved my life even though I was a complete stranger, Diamond Tiara forgave me and befriended Strife of all people,and Pinkie Pie even adopted us… which was still a bit confusing honestly.
I cared about them, and while I would still jump at any chance to get my family back, even if I was just a copy, I think it would hurt me to leave Equestria behind.
Kindness
I could have been a fair bit kinder while I was in Diamond’s body, and afterwards Diamond Tiara found it in her heart to show kindness to us, and she forgave us for having hurt her for heaven's sake!
To forgive your enemies, or those who showed you cruelty or anger... there is no greater kindness than that. Could I ever do the same? Could I ever forgive Discord for what he had done to us?
Yes I could. Not today, or tomorrow, or probably even a year from now. But even if Discord was a monster, he brought us here, he gave us a different chance at life. He even somewhat explained that all that pain and suffering, is what helped us to be real. If only for that, I should be able to forgive him, though I hope he isn’t expecting it anytime soon.
Laughter
I have to admit this has been fitting Strife more than me lately. She can make others laugh better than I can, and while she is rude and a pain in the tail sometimes, I have learned to see her as more than just a split personality. She… she is my sister, and I don't know what I’d ever do if she disappeared. I do wonder if the same is true for her...
Strife of course has her own down times… and she uses laughter to help deal with fears and problems just like the rest of us. She just does it in a different way… hopefully me and Pinkie can keep it to the more playful and pranky variety...
Generosity
Luna helped Diamond Tiara face her fears and gave her a gift without asking anything in exchange, save for Diamond Tiara to try to be our friend. While being kind is to offer help and to forgive, being generous means giving to others even when it’s at your own expense.
Those silly ponies… they’ve given me too much, haven't they? Maybe it’s time I gave something back. I could help Pinkie Pie make a party, let Twilight Sparkle do experiments on me, help Fluttershy clean her animal smelling cottage...
I can start right now, by being nice to everyone in the party. Not that that should be too hard as long as I can manage not to embarrass myself.
Loyalty
I thought my loyalty was to my friends and family back on Earth, but… if there had been a way to return and the price had been to hurt Diamond Tiara, would I have done it? I don’t know… on day one I would probably have said yes. Now though… it would be an incredibly tough decision. It’s no wonder that Rainbow Dash acted as she did in The Return of Harmony.
It has just been a short time, but she has become a loyal friend to us. Heck… we could probably call her a sister. Still, I think it is going to take me time, but… I will endeavor to show them the loyalty they deserve after everything we’ve put them through.
Magic
It was through magic, Discord’s magic, that we were brought here, or created, or whatever it was that he did. And despite the fact that we seem to have Chaos Magic, just as Discord did, the Elements spared us from their powers when it struck us.
Perhaps the Elements sense in both me and Strife the chance to do some real good… to forge bonds and make Equestria better through the power of harmony and...
Friendship
Back home… I didn’t have nearly as many friends as I already have here. Most… I would at best consider acquaintances, work friends and people who I know and am friendly towards, but am not close enough to to really feel any sort of bond.
Here though… the Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Princesses… Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon… I have made many friends, and perhaps in a short bit, I’ll be making many more.
Ah well, I still have time to figure it out.
“Cain? Strife? Hello? Equestria to Draconequus?”
I blinked, looking towards Pinkie Pie as I noticed that we were no longer in the cart… in fact, we were standing next to the rest of the Mane Six… and in front of us was the crowd of ponies that Pinkie had invited to our welcoming party.
“When… when did we get out of the cart?” I asked as I stared at the crowd, all of them doing their best to put on polite smiles even as I noticed a few of them snickering quietly to themselves.
“About five minutes ago.” Pinkie replied, giggling herself as she added “And you’ve been standing like that for a good four.”
Our cheeks flushed for a moment… even as I felt myself being shunted back into the passenger seat as Strife took control. ~Move aside buster, this is where I shine~
With a wide smile of her own, Strife gazed out into the crowd, spotting a number of foals looking at her curiously. A mischievous glint glimmered in her eyes as she opened her mouth and shouted “Who here wants to be the first to ride Ponyville’s one and only Draconequus!”
Much to my surprise, there was a sudden chorus of ‘yays!’ and ‘me me me me!’ that filled the air, a dozen or more of the adults in the room chuckling to themselves as Strife picked three foals at random to take the first lap around the party, quickly turning the ride into a game of tag as she dived straight for Rarity. Laughter soon filled the room as the brief bit of tension was smashed to pieces by Strife’s antics.
I watched it all, shaking my head in bemusement as I said to myself “Here’s hoping this is a good sign of how our time here’s going to go.” A chuckle followed this, and I settled myself in, deciding that I could introduce myself later, after Strife had had her fill of fun and attention.
-*- Canterlot -*-
Light filtered into the small, cramped office as silence filled the chamber. The sole occupant of the room gazed past the messenger who was turning and making a quick exit, knowing that this particular pony would call for his services if they were needed.
Grey Eminence gazed at the letter he had brought, having already unfurled and perused its contents in less than a minute and found them to be wanting. His muzzle shifted ever so slightly, morphing away from a thin line into a slight frown as he thought of what he should do next.
The letter was from one of his many agents, this one being a mare who none was likely to pay much heed to. She was simply informing him of what he already knew, that the target was now settling into town, and as of yet had done nothing to warrant any special actions.
That of course was where he disagreed.
Ever since the Nightmare Moon incident, where the entire kingdom had been caught completely by surprise when Celestia’s long forgotten sister, Luna, had returned in her maddened state to usurp the throne, he had found himself questioning Celestia’s ability to rule.
There had been no plans, no guidelines on how to proceed, and to make matters even worse, Celestia had simply vanished from the scene, leaving him to try and keep the whole of Canterlot from descending into total anarchy. It was only after the fact that he learned of Celestia’s plan, of relying on her prized pupil to somehow track down six magical relics to purify her sister.
And how it had maddened him! It didn’t rely on anything concrete, looking for all the world like she somehow knew it was going to go exactly as she wished it! Celestia may be a powerful Alicorn Princess, but even he knew they couldn’t predict the future. To throw the fate of the whole kingdom on a single young mare, no matter how talented, was simply insane!
And then of course, there was the disaster that was the Grand Galloping Gala. Well… disaster was one way of looking at it. Even he had to admit that the Gala had grown boring and tedious over the last decade, and Celestia had been holding them for centuries. He could understand her desire to spice things up a bit, but did it really have to involve bringing those six mares to the Gala? Only one of them had any idea about what it really entailed, and the moment he had seen them he knew it was going to end badly…
He could have handled having to deal with some of the infuriated nobles who had had their nights ruined because of those mares, and even dealt with helping Stewardess Tilted Scales determine the easiest way to pay for the damages, but having to put up with the whining of Prince Blueblood had almost been enough to push him to resigning then and there!
Discord’s first escape was something that he could almost forgive her for, had High Mage Shooting Star not informed him that they had noticed his Chaos Magic slowly seeping out for weeks, and been told by Celestia herself not to pay it any heed. She had been informed of the coming threat… and done nothing about it.
Which had nearly resulted in Discord keeping his claws on Equestria once more. Another stroke of luck that the Bearers of the Elements had managed to sort themselves out and blast him back into a lawn ornament.
The recent revelation to him and the others of the Equestrian High Council was only another nail in the coffin for his opinion on his liege. He was not willing to buy the idea that Celestia had known nothing of the encroaching Changelings, seeing it as likely being some sort of test for those six mares she was coming to rely on so readily.
The straw that broke the camel's back, or in this case his own, was the second escape of Discord, the agreement to allow the Changelings to make the Badlands a home, and the release of the entity known as Strife from Canterlot’s dungeons. The whole incident was a complete and total catastrophe, even if the Bearers had managed to seal Discord away once again.
Not like it mattered much, since Discord’s self proclaimed child was free to run amok. It was only by the grace of the ancients she hadn’t caused any trouble… yet.
It was, to Grey, as if the Princess had lost all grasp of reality. To allow so many things to go wrong in the span of three years… he could only assume that she had finally cracked and was no longer caring of what happened to her Kingdom or her subjects, or that she had grown so utterly bored after over a thousand years of reigning that she was willing to risk the kingdom being set aflame just for a change of pace.
Which was why he was now paying special attention to Strife. She was an accident waiting to happen… to most at least. To him, she was an opportunity. A chance to show all of Equestria how little their revered Princess cared for the safety of the realm and of themselves. To show every citizen, from the poorest beggar to the highest noble, that Princess Celestia was playing with fire. And that sooner or later, they would all burn for it.
Equestria needed someone much better, far more level headed and down to earth. Someone who would actually seek to secure Equestria’s defense from threats of all sizes… someone who would not be so foolish as to rely solely on six mere individuals and a set of magical trinkets.
Someone… like Grey Eminence.
His frown twisted up into a smirk as he chuckled softly to himself, turning in his chair and gazing out the window upon the city below.
Patience… bide your time… and soon you will have just what you need. Soon Equestria will be on the right track once again… under my guiding hooves.
"To be continued…”
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The sequel hook was completely unnecessary for me. I'd have read another story in this 'verse just on principal.
I greatly enjoyed this story and, unlike most other fanfiction, I was unable to predict everything that was going to happen several chapters in advance. There also weren't any overt uses of the Idiot Ball to progress the story, which I find even more impressive.
So good job on your first complete fic being a good one!
I hope to see more soon.
Was a fun ride while it lasted.
It's always sad to see a story end. But at the same time, seeing 'epilogue' or 'complete' at the end of a story is such a rear novelty on this site, it's just nice to see one get closure.
And then, sequel hook.
It's been a hell of a ride, dude. Glad I could help for some of it and I'm eagerly awaiting the sequel you've hooked ;)
6320787
That was probably because we had three genre savy characters. Both Cain and Strife were aware of the show themes and comon tropes in fiction, but Discord had the same information and proved that third time is the charm.
We also had Diamond Tiara become a character on her own right and the conflict between Luna and Celestia about how to deal with the problem.
It was also coincidence that Luna's later depiction in the show coincided so well with the one in the fic, at least this Luna fits the first four seasons.
For those that have read the story, there is a very important reason why this Luna won't torture herself like the one in season five did.
This is the first long story collaboration that I have finished and while I admit things could have gone better, I am still happy with the end result.
Now if someone would make a TV tropes page for this story...
To be continued? You said this story was done. Damn cliffhangers.
So the stiff upper lip thinks he can rule Equestria, eh? I cant wait to see how he plans to get around Luna or move the local celestial objects around without a consensus of the unicorns...
What a lovely end to this narrative~
This chapter was nice to have for the reveal of their split form. I can't help but wonder if they can now fuse with D.T. to become a crime-fighting alicorn.
I agree that the sequel hook is a bit unnecessary, though. Evil chancellor characters have to do quite a bit to break the mold, and without seeing Grey in action, it doesn't add much.
Nonetheless, congratulations on finishing a story of this length.
And now that it is finished, that is one less story in my Read Later... and another in my favorites (I don't recall favoriting it before now)! Been one great read.
At least the two is doing all right, considering their situation. And when Diamond find out about her new state, she is so going to freak. But, now we got ourselves a troublemaker that is going to throw everything out of balance...again. Welp, this is going to be an enjoyable sequel.
Great job with this, I have a good time reading the wackiness and the awesomeness of the story! Good luck with the sequel.
C&Cs:
Diamond Tiara forgave me and befriended Strife of all people,and Pinkie Pie even adopted us…
> Space after the first comma.
~Move aside buster, this is where I shine~
> Need an end marking.
6320787
I wasn't sure about it, but it looked like it needed something at the end, to me at least.
6320933
I hope someone would be kind enough to do so. I know of some tropes, but not enough to make a page describing all of them and citing what ones show up.
6321059
This specific story IS done. The universe its set in however is not.
6322276
Thank you for informing me of that fact, It was not something I knew about.
I think I'll leave it as is though, partially because I don't want to fiddle with this particular story any further than I already have fiddled with it, and also because this is a world that has things like Zap Apples.
6322589
*scribbles down notes for possible non-canon story*
Boom, and its over. A good ride overall
I really loved this story. It had it's hitches and sticky points, the awkward shoehorning of autism in, the ambivalence of whether to have Cain be real or imaginary. I cringed when Discord took over those fillies, but cringed slightly less when at least one of them sort of saw something wrong, and things worked out in the end so I can forgive a bit of out of character acting. Cain suddenly having a dark and edgy gothsona head voice named Strife made me facedesk, but she was really starting to grow on me in the end there. She really took the life she was given by the (cough) horns.
And that's about as critical as I can be of this story. The characters were rich and nuanced, the setting very vivid and immersive. Even Diamond Tiara wasn't a shallow villain, but wasn't a misunderstood goody two-shoes either. The "Why am I Diamond Tiara" part was my favorite, before all the drama kicked in and body sharing and such. Just, being stuck as the Worst Pony, and having to deal with that is hilarious and awesome. The drama was light and gracefully applied though, and everything that happened seemed like a thing that could have happened. Consistency and plausibility. It doesn't hurt that this story was very long, so a simply body swap story got to be really well described with a lot of rich detail and care going into it.
So yeah, is bretty gud I give it 8 paws out of 10.
Oh also instant bonus points for bringing in Greyface.
Bittersweet to see a promised sequel as i hate to wait
but aside from that this story was better than i expected as by the description it orignally seemed that it would be solely a comedic drama, glad i was wrong 
hope to see more good work like this
by the concept i would have thought this was inspired by Dash of Humanity as they both share similar problems and conflicts such as the human and pony minds in 1 body swapping control, plus the threat of fused mind, and discord being the culprit. Even with the major similarities i consider this no worse or less original
Wow, so after a couple day marathon, finally finished. I like it. But...wow, it really could have been about 30,000 words shorter. Everything was great up to chapter 12 or so, and then it just started seeming like you'd run out of story plan but wanted to keep going so you just kept making up new things, and new things, and new things...and just going going with whatever struck your fancy.
I don't want to seem harsh here, I did enjoy the story, but if the first third had been like the last third, I wouldn't have read the whole thing like I did. A lot of what happened later on felt like it wasn't at all what you wanted to do when you started writing this, but you didn't want to stop writing so you kept writing.
I see others commenting that they're glad to see this was concluded. That too many fimfiction stories never get finished. I agree. But this might have been better if it had ended just a little bit earlier.
Also, Diamond Tiara kind of just disappeared from the story for a long time. For most of the story, this whole thing was about her role in life and Cain filling it. And that was what drew me in. Strife, honestly his entire personality seemed like it was aribitrarily made up and thrown in very late in the story. Even when he was introduced, it seemed like he was pulled out of nowhere. You just started talking about him as if he'd been mentioned before. And I didn't like the character very much, and I think the story probably would have been better without him. I would have much rather seen Diamond "wake up" and then the two of them come to terms.
Instead, the last several chapters and even the way the story ends, this unlikable Strife character who fairly randomly shows up in the last third, suddenly is the one in charge of the body, handling most of the dialogue and generally running the show. That's...I'm sorry, but that's obviously a bad idea. Think of any story and imagine if two thirds of the way in, the protagonist was pushed into a secondary role and some unlikable jerk was put in his place. Two thirds of Star Wars, and then background character #22 from the Cantina scene shows up and takes over the action while Luke and Han just sit around and watch.
That's pretty much what you did here. And it heavily detracted from what this story might have been.
6404132
Actually, the story was moving somewhat AWAY from what I had originally planned, in part due to the influence of HoneyHoneyHoney, during the chapters near the middle. Things actually more or less got onto the track I had wanted things to be heading on when Pinklestia joined up to help me finish writing this.
A bit predictable, obvious, and strange, this story is.
But this story was completed, interesting (partially), and ended in a ending I don't usually see in other fics. Or at least yet.
And I'm just happy this story ever even existed.
For such are stories I read: Totally worth it.
6576963
The Autism thing was "dropped" as you say, in part because, in my own real life, I've pretty much "dropped" it on people who had no idea whatsoever that I was Autistic. As a high-functioning Autistic, I've apparently been thankful enough to manage it to the point that I have to tell 9 out of 10 people that I do indeed have Autism.
As for the Transgender thing, (which in part thanks to recent developments, I would say is more Gender Dysphoria/Discovering I might be Gender-Fluid.) most of the original credit on bringing it in can go to Pinklestia on that. (the way it unfolded grew on me at least, and I was happy with how things went.)
As for Cain (Me) being more complicated, I would say I am complicated, as probably are most people (most people I would say might not be willing to show such complications to folks). As for whether it hurts the story or not, that is for you, one of the many readers, to decide.
DT's mother being in Prance for that long is something I have the intentions of dealing with in a future story. No, Prance is not on another planet, and no, the EDC is not joyless or Restrictive. (well, maybe not to her mother, but it might be to some. No jobs perfect)
Discord's power is, from my opinion, in part based on what you don't think he can do. It is my theory that the reason he was able to snatch away the EoH the first time around despite Celestia's best protections was because she thought it would be impossible for them to be snatched away. Discord is all about doing the impossible and improbable.
Filly Luna and Celestia are (and Pink is free to dispute this, as I can't remember) ideas of Pinklestia's I believe. I will admit I wasn't entirely sold on it at first, but through discussions I warmed to it and eventually embraced it.
I can confirm Rick and Morty will not show up, in large part because I do not like that show, and because this is not a crossover story. More importantly, because the story is finished, and thus them showing up makes even less sense in that perspective.
I do thank you for your comments though and hope you get through to the end and, if not enjoy it, at least don't end up loathing it entirely.
6577690 I don't have a problem with either the autism or transgender aspect, but rather their introduction in the middle of so much other stuff. Some hints earlier in the story might've kept me from getting caught up on it so much, because the way it was introduced is almost non-sequitur. Full/partial self-insert also doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as it's a fanfic worth reading.
I'm still not sure why Diamond's mom couldn't have visited her family. Or why, if she was that busy, she couldn't have had her family visit her. Is Prance overrun by pony terrorists? Also, why does Filthy Rich want Diamond to become a better pony, but fold and fire the help when they anger her?
I can accept the Discord's power being unpredictable thing, but it does have upper limits that we've seen during the Tirek fiasco, as well as each time he was blasted by the Elements of Harmony. The barest fraction of his power going from apparently being weak and reliant on mental turmoil for sustenance to transmuting two alicorns into foals still seems odd to me. It's not outside the realm of believability, but I think it's a distraction from the many other important, hard-to-follow things that are taking place.
I don't loathe the story, and I don't predict that I will. The thing's ~150,000 words, and I've read it nearly to the end. But it does have a lot of rough corners and bumpy narrative, which is why I asked so many questions. It's not the first story that's made me blurt out my confusion.
The Rick and Morty comment was a joke.
6579443
If its any consolation, the autism bit would be a non-sequitr if you met me in real life (and weren't aware of it). The Gender Dysphoria bit I keep substantially more private and is harder for anyone to notice, so there wouldn't be any outward signs (fun fact: talking about it and dealing with it here actually helped me to more fully realize I'm not comfortable in my gender, though whether that means I'm trans or not I have yet to determine)
What I have for mind in Prance is complicated. Suffice it to say, Silver Tongue's role as "Diplomat" is much more than just boring paperwork and long talks with stuffy officials.
As for Filthy Rich, he's torn in multiple directions, trying to be a good father, while at the same time running a large corporation across all of Equestria. I figure he has a great deal of pressure on him, and thus trends towards the path of least resistance, even if he doesn't always feel good about it.
On Tirek/Discord, that I think falls into the same category as the Elements of Harmony (and the Tatzlworm to a lesser extent). Discord himself can be caught off guard, and there are implications he's not quite omnipotent.
If one wanted to be Meta about it, one could say that as the story gets more convoluted, the more powerful he became
One can never be certain on the net, one can never be certain.
6581021 Well at least you got your reasons. I can empathize a bit with the dysphoria thing, but for the purposes of a full or partial self-insert, it was a pretty bumpy reveal. Thanks for addressing the questions as much as you're willing/ready to.
6582275 Thanks for leaving your comments, I'm always willing to do my best to explain the reasons for things in the story.
I hope you enjoyed the story, and if your interested, I am in need of pre-readers to go over the next fic set in this universe. My latest blog post has a bit of information on it.
6600340
Discord played them all. You also hsve to remember that Strife is Discord's daughter so she has powers on her own.
Basically half of what happened to Strife and Cain that was confusing was Discord messing around.
Strife and Cain were Discord attempt to get free, but chaos nagic is unpredictable like that.
Basically when Nightmare Moon made Cain and Strife angry, Strife used her powers unconsciously. At the same time Discord was doing his own thing.
6404132
That's what happens when a story has three authors. Strife started as just Cain evil side, and yes I am aware not everyone likes "her". Basically she was a compromise so Cain didn't free Discord on his own.
Personally I like her character growth from just being an evil bastard to her own person.
But yeah, the story could have worked without her I guess.
6636252
Had would be the more apt way to put it. Personally though, I'm happy with the way things went, and I'm glad you were willing to be a part of this.
I know obviously not all who read it will be happy (I'm sure some who loved the way it went might not have liked what might have happened back when it was me and HoneyHoneyHoney) but it seems that most folks overall enjoyed it, and that at least is good enough for me :D
I feel like I have something to say. Yet, looking at a few comments, It kind of seems like everything has been said. I feel, somewhere in my mind, that it is time to walk away from this fic. I am not satisfied with this, somehow.
I have my complaints, what with the sudden changes of focus everywhere. I look at the completed mark and the last two chapter titles, titled in ways that suggest their place at the end of the story, and I say to myself: "Welp, stories' over, this is the conclusion. You should start feeling like the story is concluded now and be content and happy and somewhat sad that it is over. You know the drill."
I do. I do know the drill. I am very familiar with the drill of not reading a story anymore. I've done it before. I'm rather trained into it, actually. In terms of hours spent, I should be a master at being done with a story by now. It's familiar, it's nostalgic, it's correct, or so I think. When I read a story, I take a little piece of another person's mind into me and use it to grow and stimulate myself. That is what I tell myself. I noticed something, though. I didn't actually do that yet. Sure, I became familiarized with your perspective on how situations and conversations unfold, but I didn't really stimulate myself into growing, yet. That is why I can't leave.
I wanted to just start pointing out flaws. It's what you DO when you review, right? You point out things that the author didn't notice and fix on their own, right? Everything else is assumed to be passable, since no one noticed and mentioned it. But no, I'm not here to tell you what is wrong with what you wrote, I'm here to tell you what you wrote, based on how I read it, because that is how information is transferred between writer and reader.
I remember a man with a lie. I remember that this man was in a world that did not hand him respect for free. I remember him waging a war of charisma against an unsuspecting populous. I remember that he struggled. In his mind, somewhere, in spite of his better nature, he had a worse nature. That worse nature was assumed to be diamond tiara's emotional reactions. He was a person who hid his true self behind a lie, and a persona, and a mask of flesh. His enemy was his compulsion. Slowly, he fought back his worse nature. Once, his emotions drew him to cause suffering and commit mischief. Slowly, his reactions changed and the wonderful persona he had put on became his true self. It seemed to be getting easier. Life should have been good, he thought.
He was sick. He was broken on the inside, deeply. He did not know this. His "emotions" cried out as they died and were replaced under the foot of his lie. Everything he hid while he smiled and earned friends, festered in him. While he held up his persona, what he hid was torturing his emotions. Somehow, he felt none of it.
Sometimes, his emotions broke through and he made impulsive decisions. Sometimes, his hidden suffering broke through and he brought that pain to others. After all, they were parts of him, and he could not deny himself without killing part of himself. Others began to view him as a possible threat, and so did he. He valued his emotions, and wished to keep them. In the end, he decided to sacrifice the lie and seek help.
Help spoke to him. Help investigated him. Help speculated and theorized and tested and came to a conclusion; he was sick, and he would be given the same solution that was always given. It did not work. He suffered greatly and continued to degrade. In his new quest, his goal was not making peace with others, but making peace in himself. He looked in-word, and he learned of his pieces. Soon, his emotions found that they actually liked what his suffering was covering. Slowly, "suffering" slowed his suffering and the piece that once held everything which was rejected was also filled with things which were tempting enough to require rejecting. Eventually, that dark part of him became a casual companion and was actually encouraged, to some degree, because "suffering" was just the deviancy in his nature he suppressed.
Others still mistrusted him, for his sources were unsavory, they felt. He had to prove himself, to be accepted. After all, they clearly came from discord. They look like discord. One of them acts a bit like discord. It all seemed, quite simply, that our hero was created as a trick. His past was evil, so he must be evil. It is not like evil to make a sudden turn on a dime, and his motives and loyalties were in question! Oh, SURE you are a good guy. SURE it was just an accident when you let him out and he blessed you, SPAWN OF DISCORD.
They betrayed the hand that fed them and defeated the ultimate evil and everyone loved all three pieces of them for it. They were forgiven, for they were obviously just being manipulated by discord, just like the fillies who said mean things were manipulated. Everything was good forever and this was a perfectly happy ending, since even discord was able to be happy and the only person who isn't happy is some Celestia-hating pencil-pusher who is mad about some bullshit that doesn't matter and is clearly the bad guy anyway. Good wins, right? Right? Right?!
The childish emotions(diamond tiara) have been given their own detached existence, retired but not dead and not suppressed. Our hero has taken to worrying, responsibility, and self-maintenance. The dark being of what was once suffering and vice has now taken to humor, enjoyment, and socializing. This is the end result: the darkness is now on display to all who watch, and they do not turn away, because a truer evil was vanquished, so this one must be tolerated.
So, why did the main character disappear?
Who was the main character?
He was not a person. He was only an idea brought into this world by an evil. Our hero, the main character, WAS the mask. He was never in charge. There is a part in all of us, it is a little ball of logic. It protects us. It determines how we should go about things. It is directed by the emotions in our core. To it, everything is a tool, especially our body. Isn't it strange, from the perspective of anyone but diamond tiara, that her change of heart happened directly after her greatest mistake? What is it to be "repentant"? I would say it is to recognize your mistakes, where you saw none before, and wish to undo them. Our hero hated everything tiara was. He repented, he repented for her hard. He tried. He went out and fixed things. Tiara went out with a sudden, new perspective and behaved accordingly. Sometimes her old self broke through. She suffered for it more. She hated herself more. This idea, this grand scheme of gaining forgiveness, it consumed her.
In the end, the grand showdown of chaos, was nothing more than a DISTRACTION. In the end, forgiveness was not gained for everything that she ever did. Forgiveness was not earned, acceptance was earned. Now the persona, the manipulating logic-ball of protection, sits in the background and plans and holds up a piece of respectable society while the darkness that was hidden before sits right in the open and is tolerated, because our hero is IN, and people will just wave him off as normal.
That is what your story does in the end. It gives us a token "ending" feel, complete with an epic battle against evil and an irrelevant new evil guy. It makes us feel like everything turned out correctly, despite beating us upside the head with irrelevant chaos-magic bullshit and smelling rather fishy overall. However, we want to buy it and the ponies buy it. It even reflects the way I behave with people I consider "friends". People forgive transgressions amongst their own, so be their friend. Be their friend and make sure you can never surprise them by showing your truest available colors, or worse, as often as you can get away with. It's so very common.
6673548
An interesting comment, and one I'm honestly not entirely sure how to respond to... in part, because to an extent, I'll freely admit I'm not sure what exactly your trying to say about it. It sounds almost like a great many emotions, thoughts, and feelings are going on in it, and I can only say I don't really feel capable of taking it as either a negative, a positive... or even just a neutral type of comment.
It may just be the format of your comment that's tripping me up.
I can say that, despite the fact that this story ended, I have more planned. A Jewel of a Problem, even from the beginning before I had a great many things ironed out in my head, was never meant to be a standalone fanfic.
Oooooooo...sequel?
One of the best Stories i ever read
i had something like that once. The Chocolate Suicide cake. They don't even make those anymore, apparently. Get this: It's a chocolate cake with chocolate icing, chocolate frosting, chocolate ganache, chocolate bars within the slices and, oh yeah, the thing was like A FOOT TALL! I tried a bite of it and nearly fell asleep.
Okay, i must say: this story was awesome! It had all the right elements; some action, some mystery, some drama, some romance even, some horror aspects, and lots and LOTS of comedy! Fully worthy of (with your boonus points) a 13/10 on the
itude meter! I wonder what will happen next?
7920711 Well, at the time we would've figured that DT and SS were good at... being rich, spoiled brats.
Hoo boy, that was quite the adventure. The fact that you left new plot threads in makes me very happy.
Overall a good story.
Nice references and it felt nice.
Grammar was bad throughout but the plot made up for it.
👍
9505230
Gesundheit, then.
Anyone know if there is a sequel?
10280176
there was an attempt of sorts at a sequel that I lost motivation in. In all honesty I actually have regrets for this story and am surprised to this day people still read it and add it to their favorites or what not.
10282599
To me it’s a good story
Wish it had an alternate ending where all of them got mixed in with their minds
The road to utopia is paved with revolutions... Mwahahahaha!
Well, that's a wrap. Honestly an amazing read. A few Chekhov's Gun here and there, a bit of slog in some places, but it was solid. The story never really halts, and it has meaning. The problems stacked against each other but were solved eventually. I was almost afraid to click on the next chapter button a few times, which brought my me a giddiness only a few story had incited.
The premise is... Well, it's just that, I guess, but the story ended up exploding into something much more grand. Compelling plot, beautiful resolution. The bumpy road ended up breaking the axle a few times, but the El Dorado in the end of the trail is very well worth it.
10743946
Nahh. Aside of that one small bump that admittedly, stumbled me far more than it should've, and made me fume more than I should've, it's a great and fun piece to read through. I have to say sorry that I overreacted, but that particular trope is a bit of a hit and miss for me, and it being just... there, kinda blew my gasket for a bit. Truly, sorry if I came off as rude, as I really should've not blow the issue out of proportions.
You might think of your work as not worth the effort, but I'd say it's pretty well-made. Not the best, sure, but there's a million worse works that I still ended up enjoying.
If perchance you still don't want comments on this particular fic, then let me end my last one with an applause, because I truly feel like in the end, your work truly is worth a read.
This story is flawed, but enjoyable.
You might not like it anymore, but I do.
why?
all i want is tsundere diamond tiara....
why does everything needs to have apocalyptic conspiracies overarching plot?
I don't see the issue, I thought the story was great
11349967
Lots of little issues, stemming from in part not having a coherent idea for the story itself beyond "Follow a trend" and also the fact I ended up having two different Co-authors. I appreciate the help Pinklestia gave, but in hindsight, I probably should have let the story die after I lost my first co-author. I continued on mostly because I felt like I had to do so.
If I was ever to redo this (which I won't) there's a great deal I'd do differently. Not least of which is ditch the whole second personality Strife thing. Honestly in hindsight I think that was me just being edgy and introspective of how it felt like sometimes there's two versions of me, when really I'm just a single coin with two sides and one is 'darker' than the other.
ever thought of doing a rewrite?
11800007
Not really. The only reason I haven't deleted it is because plenty of folks had it in their bookshelves before I hit a point where I stopped being happy with it.
People also continue to ignore the big note in the description now, which annoys me to no end.