Andrew thought that it had been hard enough to scale the mountains, but going down was another story entirely. His leg was killing him despite the natural remedy one of the ponies had applied to him. He suspected the earth ponies had done the binding on his leg, but he never made his comments aloud; he was far too busy trying not to die.
“Nope.” Andrew shook his head and stepped back from the ledge. “No, nuh-uh. Not happening.”
Mint cocked her head sideways. “Bushkeeper?”
“Mint—” he pointed a finger down at the plateau below “—that is not happening today.” He pat his leg gently and glared at Mint. “Not with this, and especially not at any time. Scaling the mountain without gear was fine, but climbing down the mountain without gear is another story entirely.”
Andrew swore he could see Mint roll her eyes before she turned around to Blackie and the pegasi. ”Carry the Bushkeeper, please.”
Bowing low momentarily, Blackie zipped over and hooked his hooves under Andrew’s arms and lifted him upwards with a grunt.
“Hey! Drop me right—”
With the help of the white pegasus mare from before, the two pegasi held Andrew over the edge.
“—after we land, okay?!” Andrew’s eyes were wide as he stared down at the lengthy drop. His eyes squeezed shut. “It’s always better on the way up…” he whimpered.
Thankfully for Andrew, the flight was over relatively quickly. Unfortunately for Andrew, they still had three more plateaus to cover. By the time the pegasus herd had landed at the base of the mountain, Andrew was ready to vomit. Groaning, he laid down in the sweet green grass beneath the nearby trees and curled up.
Blackie whickered worriedly and stepped closer to the human. ”Bushkeeper?”
“Leave me alone,” Andrew grumbled, clutching his stomach. “My stomach’s is killing me.”
With a shrug, Blackie returned to his herd and looked over Storm. Andrew couldn’t hear what was going on due to a combination of distance and the singing birds above, but he could care less; he was going to take a nap, and that was final.
In a perfect world, at least.
Far too soon for his liking, Andrew recognized the thump of multiple hooves dropping into the grass, signifying the dreaded arrival of the earth ponies and unicorns. He heard some of the hooves approaching him, and against his will, he was rolled over by a hoof to face Mint, Greeny, and Lemon. The three unicorns all eyed him with varying levels of emotion; Mint looked worried, Greeny was amused, and Lemon looked annoyed.
”Bushkeeper?” Mint began.
Sighing, Andrew sat up and dusted himself off before standing. “I’m good.” He paused, looking around briefly. “Where’s my stick?” Andrew spotted an earth pony walking over with the aforementioned stick in its mouth. Andrew gladly accepted it, giving the earth pony’s withers a pat as a reward. Andrew turned to the three unicorns and nodded. “Let’s go.”
It was clear to anyone that was watching that Andrew had no idea where he was leading the massive herd, but the ponies behind him seemed not to notice. Andrew severely regretted not spending time up on the mountain to survey the valley further, but that didn’t really matter to him. What did matter was the group’s newfound safety in the mountain-locked plains.
Calling the area a land of plains would be incorrect. There were definitely great amounts of open fields, but close to the mountains and the western ocean, a large forest prospered. The further the group ventured towards the central plain to the north, the more and more evidence of young life appeared. Andrew, for his part, spotted a multitude of baby creatures following after their mothers. From deer to rabbits, the eerily calm critters seemed endless in the forest. The unicorns and pegasi shared Andrew’s interest in the forest’s denizens, but earth ponies seemed keen on pointing out tiny piles of earth that appeared every so often. At first, Andrew didn’t really pay the small mounds any mind, but when an earth pony pressed their hooves into the dirt next to the mound and caused a seedling to sprout, Andrew could do nothing but stare.
The brown earth pony herd leader whispered something to her own seedling that she had sprouted, causing it to shiver and twitch. There was something unnatural about the process, but Andrew considered that it was probably normal for the earth ponies to do such a thing; this wasn’t Earth, after all. The unicorns and pegasi didn’t seem to care, though. Shaking his head, Andrew waited patiently for the earth ponies to finish their strange rituals.
Time passed quickly, and as Andrew emerged out of the forest and into the central plain, he was pleasantly surprised to find a humble field of low-lying blueberry bushes. The ponies followed after him as he approached the berries. They stood still as Andrew inspected a berry he had plucked from a bush. Popping it into his mouth, he chewed slowly. The berry was gone too soon, and Andrew was quick to find another ripe berry. Yet again, he tasted the surprisingly strong taste of blueberry as he chewed. Pausing, Andrew chuckled and waved the staring ponies on.
The ponies immediately began to devour any berry they could get their hooves on. Something warm tingled in his chest as Andrew looked over the bone-thin ponies munching on berries. He was surprised that he had made it so far with them. Andrew honestly felt that he would have given up ages ago.
Looking up into the sky, Andrew raised a hand to avoid the glare of the sweltering sun. Contrary to the cold mountain air, the plains held the brunt of the late summer heat. Andrew assumed that it was summer; it had been late July when he had first arrived, so it must have been August by now. Andrew paused, his mind distracted by a previous sentiment; winter was coming. How much time did the herds and him have left to prepare for winter? Eyeing the icy wasteland to the north, Andrew shuddered. This place held only a few similarities to Earth, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that even seasons could be different.
Things may have been different, but Andrew could adapt.
For one thing, the lifestyle of the ponies required a drastic change. Andrew knew that he had to help the ponies begin the development of their civilization, and that most of the work had been done for him; the ponies had a spoken language, a pictographic language, a culture, and some form of social hierarchy. All that was left for them to prove that they were a civilization was agriculture; government and specialized labor would come to fruition then. Silently, Andrew thanked his history class and wiped his hands on his jeans.
There was a plethora of other things that needed to be done as well: create a reliable communication system between the ponies and himself, look for a good place to settle down in the valley, find seeds to plant, stock up for winter, and find some way to defend themselves. At this point, all Andrew knew that the ponies could offer in terms of self-defense were their hooves, wings, and the strange levitation tricks that the unicorns pulled every now and then. Andrew eyed one of said unicorns, currently channeling their strange visual energy into levitating a cluster of blueberries down to a familiar white unicorn foal.
The language barrier was what Andrew was most anxious about. Sucking in breath, he decided that now would be as good a time as ever to get started; he’d been putting it off long enough. Andrew walked over to Greeny, the unicorn busy munching away on berries, and picked up his keratin tooth. Running his hands over the etched surface, Andrew attempted to find meaning in the pictures.
Greeny had done nothing to improve the small pictograms that he had first carved days ago, but there had been a few changes to the background of the carving. Further behind the herds and the tall humanoid figure, there now stood a chain of mountains. Andrew made a hazardous guess that Greeny was maintaining some sort of story of where the herds were going. He sighed, knowing that he wouldn’t have to guess if they could understand each other.
Mint was standing beside Greeny, and paused in her feast to check in on Andrew.
“Bushkeeper?”
Andrew held a hand up to the mare without looking. “Wait.” After patting Greeny on the back and placing the unicorn’s work back down, Andrew turned to Mint.
Mint cocked her head. “Wait?”
Andrew slipped a berry out from the hood in his front pocket and offered it to Mint. He gave her a toothy smile.
“Yes.”
Mint snorted, but took the berry anyway.
“Alright!” Andrew stood and clapped his hands together, attracting the attention of most of the ponies nearby. “Nobody can understand me, which is problem number one. Problem number two is that we have no long-term source of food for winter. Problem number three is that apparently some sort of apocalypse is about to happen. Sort of.” Andrew dropped his arms and sighed. “What a life.”
"Andrew?" Mint attempted to cut in.
He blissfully ignored the mare and continued ever onward. “Did I mention that another problem is that I need meat?”
Mint whinnied angrily and kicked Andrew roughly. ”Lead us, do not be childish!”
Andrew rubbed his shin for a moment then stood back, gesturing to the ponies watching the two. “How about you lead, herd leader?”
Mint’s eyes went wide. ”I do not—!”
“No no—” Andrew waved his hands in front of him “—I understand.” Grinning madly, he took another step back and gestured again. “You need your space. Go right on ahead.”
”Fwalfa?” a unicorn asked from the crowd. ”What is the Bushkeeper’s word?”
Mint looked to Andrew. ”Fine.” she huffed. Returning her gaze to the unicorns before her, she spoke. ”Survey the lands, look for the yellow grass and cleared water. ”
The brown herd leader of the earth ponies stepped forward, her herd behind her. ”We will assist in the yellow grass.”
Blackie stomped a hoof, causing Andrew and Mint to turn around. Blackie spoke as he and his herd came up from a bow. ”We shall watch from the Great Open.”
With nearly simultaneous reactions, the herds split up, leaving behind the herd leaders and their mates. Andrew scratched his head and looked embarrassedly to Mint. The mare looked up quizzically to Andrew.
“Uh…” He laughed a little. “I guess I kinda overestimated how nervous you would be going into your leadership role. I mean… wow. You really just took over there.”
Mint ignored Andrew’s ramblings. ”What now, Bushkeeper?”
“Now…” Andrew straightened and looked to the disappearing herds, two of them trotting about the nearby grassland and trees, and one of them flying through the sky between the clouds. “...we plan out what’s going to be happening from here on out.”
”What?” Blackie snorted. He looked to Mint. ”What did the Bushkeeper say?”
“You know what? Whatever.” Andrew motioned for the ponies to follow and began walking. “Let’s go over… here.”
Andrew dropped his bag and walking stick, then sat down on the ground. He was soon joined by the five ponies who had stayed with him, the ponies opting to fold their legs rather than crossing them like Andrew. He found it curious that the foals had gone with the rest of the herds, but after thinking it over for a moment, Andrew decided that larger numbers probably meant that the foals were safer. He was about to begin speaking when he realized that each of the herd leaders had a mate, save for the earth pony leader.
He pointed to the mare. “Uh… hornless pony. Wait, that sounds kind of messed up. Erm, lemme just call you Brownie, you good with that?”
The mare blinked blankly at him.
“Brownie,” Andrew enunciated slowly. “Brownie.”
”A name!” Storm whinnied excitedly from beside Blackie. ”The Bushkeeper gives you a name!”
The newly named Brownie cocked her head slightly. “Brownie?” Blinking, she looked to Storm. ”What is a name?”
“What you are now the proud owner of,” Andrew cut in. “Also, Storm…” Andrew leant forward and brushed his hand through the stained fur of the grey mare. “We’ve neglected the blood for too long, but it needs to go.”
Storm waved Andrew off. ”I am fine, Bushkeeper.” She paused suddenly. ”What are you—?”
Andrew watched as the water he had just poured from his thermos and onto Storm’s fur soaked in. Silently, he scooted closer and began rubbing the crimson away. Blackie was quick to catch on and immediately went to work as he took Andrew’s place. Smiling, Andrew leant back and looked over the rest of three other ponies who watched him with equal attention.
“Now listen closely…” Andrew broke a tiny twig off of his walking stick and began to draw in the ground. “We’re going to do a small lesson for productivity’s sake…”
Thanks for the update!!
8162267
Sorry about that, but yeah, you're welcome! Be on the lookout for more updates the rest of this week and next weekend! I'm shooting for 8 chapters total!
Oh Andrew. Don't you know that Mongols are the exception? The worldwide, empire toppling exception?
8162275
You're giving me severe flashbacks to Crash Course. Please stop. not really go on my friend
Would that not make the full sentence ‘‘My stomach is is killing me.’’?
Welcome back
I didn't find this to be rusty at all well done!
This is how dem ponies get their silly naming convention because our Mr. Andrew over here is too lazy to find a better name for them.
8162456 Because spoken word is often not enunciated properly. It makes the spoken words feel more natural.
Winter is comming.
8163081 Pre-stone age
You have the; Pre-Lithic eras, Paleolithic age, neolithic age, Chalcolithic age, Bronze Age, Iron Age, Ancient/Classical Age, Post-Classical, (European) Dark Ages, Early (European) Medieval/ British Dark Ages, Medieval Age, High Medieval Age, Late Medieval Age, (European) Renaissance, (European) Enlightenment era, Industrial Revolution, Atomic era & Digital Age.
8162749 8162456
I've been trying to slip these little additions of natural speech to my dialogues because a majority of my dialogue writing comes from reading it out loud. I add occasional stutters and lisps every now and then, and I know it looks weird, but it's just kinda how I write my dialogue. I really need to improve on 'em, so sorry if that kinda stuff sticks to the page oddly.
The Bushkeeper is not allowed to waffle, and Mint knows just how tenuous the leadership structure is.
8163243
I always called the Digital Age the Information Era.
David Marcus, "It's snow! Snow in the same sector!"
That time Equestria was the Genesis planet.
Wait... that makes wayyyy too much sense! CROSSOVER TIME!! (And Equestria blows up in the end.)
What happened to Mint not being able to understand him anymore? Remember, she was crying about it. Meanwhile now she seems to be understanding sentences conveying pretty complex ideas just fine. I highly doubt she has had the opportunity to learn what the English word 'meat' means which is vital to understanding that entire sentence... yet she calls him childish for it which actually makes plenty of sense given that fish is meat and thus that issue has already been resolved. Of course that only reinforces that her inability to understand him has disappeared.
8162575 It's all those damn humans' fault!
8171809
It's not that she understands the message, it's that she understands the tone.
Not only is it clear that Andrew is ranting (just imagine someone yelling in a foreign language at nothing when you don't understand them), Mint had just tried to try speaking to him and had been blatantly ignored. As a significant person of authority in a situation that requires leadership, I'd be getting pretty angry myself if someone who had to help me lead was blatantly ignoring me to talk about something else that didn't really matter to the group as a whole.
Mint did not understand any of the words leaving his mouth. Andrew said a couple of words that Mint knew, but in his hasty speed and clear lack of care for enunciating his sentence slowly, it is obvious that Andrew is not speaking directly to anyone: he's ranting like a child. This is where Mint gets her response from; she is attempting to lead three herds in cooperation with Andrew, but since he is too busy ignoring her and all of the other ponies, she knows that he is simply venting frustrations outloud as if he was a child.
To counter your statements one by one:
1. Mint understands one word sentences, or sentences pronounced slowly with words she understands. IE, "Ponies, wait." A pause is in place in the sentence to signify that Andrew is speaking slowly.
2. She is addressing his entire rant as a whole, from the beginning of him clapping his hands, to the point where he ignores her question and keeps going. Mint did not understand anything in the sentence about meat, in fact, she simply ignored that sentence herself, too focused on the fact that her own call for Andrew's name was ignored.
3. To counter this, let's look at the last portion that you brought up:
While I understand that the bolded sentence cuts off a bit, preventing the reader from understanding the full motion, I believe that the rest of the movements are clear. Key parts for Mint's understanding of Andrew's meaning are in the way he uses his hands and boy signals. Eyes, hooves, and hands are essential parts of my writing that help you to understand the activities that are taking place. In a story where the language barrier is a serious problem for both parties, one of the best ways to show your meaning is through body language: I'm fairly certain that answer was obvious.
Mint is singled out by Andrew through the motion of his hands:
I'm not a great writer, and my strongest weak point is when it comes to describing details in a scene. Combine that with dialogues and you have a great big disaster on your hands. Let me know if there's any other points that you want me to bring up, or anything that needs to be looked at and fixed. I thoroughly enjoy talking to critics who ask questions properly like this.
Thanks for commenting as usual, cheers.
8172224
There is nothing here that indicates she was trying to ask something else and he ignored her and ranted on. In dialogue someone's name said in a querulous tone can in fact be a complete question, the person is now waiting for a response. It ain't a 'proper' complete question, or grammatically correct but it still happens plenty... with the exact meaning depending on the context. Here it could easily be asking if he is alright. If there was anything there to convey that he ignored her it would have made the situation clearer... because what is currently present could be taken as an actual conversation instead of a monologue. I mean that should be obvious, since that is exactly what I did.