Memoir of Misery

by Silvak

Chapter XXXI: Discord

"I'm back! Did you mis—by all things chaotic, how the buck did you ate all those cakes?!" Discord claimed as he popped into the room, only to find that all the cakes were gone and that a somewhat bloated Sapphire was lying on her back, rubbing a hoof at her stuffed belly.

Upon hearing Discord's entrance, Sapphire lifted her head up, saying, "Oh, hi Discord. You didn't take long to get back. Oh and uh, thanks for the cakes," as she gave him a friendly wave of her wing.

"How... how... how did you eat all those cakes‽" Discord asked, his eyes literally popping out of their sockets, much to Sapphire's disgust.

Grimacing as the eyeballs that came to a stop to look at her, Sapphire turned her head away as she answered, "Umm... by putting them in my mouth, chewing them, and swallowing?"

Stepping towards Sapphire and stomping on his eyeballs in the process, only for them to reappear in his eye sockets, Discord scowled as he countered, "Don't tell me that! No pony has ever eaten that much cake in the history of Equestria! Not even Celestia could eat that much, and they're her favorite food! Yet here you are, sitting in an empty cake room that I thought was going to keep you fed for a few days with your belly barely bulging out!"

Looking down at her belly, Sapphire commented, "Yeah, I'm actually surprised that I got my stomach to be this way. I think this is the first time that I’ve ever seen it this way."

Left eye twitching, Discord ran his lion's paw down his face, taking it off as it attached to the palm of the paw as he said, "I don't know whether to revel in this nature-defying moment or be horrified."

"Hmm... you remind me of the moment when Celestia was surprised at me eating a five-layered chocolate cake on my own when I appeared as a unicorn," Sapphire replied, causing Discord to raise an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"...That would be something that I would so love to see, but I think it's time to get back to business," Discord stated before he paused as he looked up at a wall. "...That is something I didn't expect myself saying this century." Shaking his head as he slapped his face, clearing his mind before looking down at Sapphire as he said, "Miss Blue Alicorn, we need to talk."

"Well, since you did give me all those cakes, I guess I’ll have a talk with you. Though uh, my name is Sapphire Rain," Sapphire said as she got off her back and into a sitting position. Rolling his eyes, Discord snapped his fingers, summoning three rubber balls that he then threw at Sapphire's nose, bouncing them off it before catching it. Rubbing her nose, Sapphire shot Discord an annoyed look as she asked, "What was that for?"

"Getting in touch with my usual self before going into serious business," Discord stated as he held out the balls, each of them turning into different colors, one blue, one green, and one red. "Do you know about the presence of foreign magic in your system?"

"Yeah... it was discovered shortly after I was revealed to be an alicorn in disguise, albeit at the time, even I didn't know that I was an alicorn," Sapphire replied as she eyed the balls that were now floating above Discord's hand.

"Good, then I don't have to explain too much. Now, when I was examining you, one of these foreign intrusions was of a chaotic nature, yet it also held traits of dark magic to it. While the other two hold dark magic in them as well, they also possess their own nature that marks them as something different. Something about these magics tells me that they're old, older than Celestia and Luna, and even older than anyone that I know of. But not just old... they're foreign, like nothing I’ve ever encountered before," Discord explained, rubbing his goatee even though it was detached from his chin at the moment.

As Sapphire stared at that oddity before her, she said, "Okay... but that is something... strange to say the least. Still, that doesn't tell me a thing about what my past really is... wait. Do you know anything about the Disappearance of Arulas?"

Smiling, Discord replied, "Do I ever, I know that you spell the first word wi—"

"Can you be a bit more serious about this?" Sapphire interjected as she let out a snort of annoyance.

"Now that's the look of an alicorn when they normally see me. Besides, it's my job to annoy alicorns in whatever fashion I can. I'm just giving you some slack since... well, it's rather complicated to explain and even I don't have all the details straight in my head, at least for the time being. I even wish I could help, but that little chaos residue that is all over your body is preventing me from doing a thing to fix your memories. But what I will say is that I have no idea what this 'Disappearance of Arulas' is supposed to be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to convert this room into a storage site for a moody alicorn that didn't get enough sleep yet," Discord stated as a lever appeared on the wall.

"What do you me—aahhh!" Sapphire started to say before Discord flipped the lever, causing a portal to appear behind Sapphire as it suddenly sucked her into it before closing with a pop.

"Interesting mare, that Sapphire Rain is. Definitely not as snooty as Moonbutt, nor as harmony crazed as Celestia is. I wonder though, just what kind of splash this alicorn will have on the world. It'll be a treat to see if my guess is right. Which is usually one out of fifteen, or was it thirteen?" Discord mused to himself before opening a portal above himself that came down on him to whisk him away to his desired destination.

---

"Why does he have to do these things? He could have just asked me to go to where he wants instead," Sapphire complained as she floated through some kind of pathway made up of a spiral of colors. The strangest thing about the place was that it had bananas with tiny little legs walking all over the place.

"He could at least gave me some pie for the trip," Sapphire stated as she then saw a pie floating right in front of her. Blinking at the sight, Sapphire tried to reach out with her forehooves to grab it, only for it to float away as she crashed right through a window that somehow appeared out of nowhere.

"Gah, my pie!" Sapphire screamed as she ended up in some bedroom as she crashed into the room's door, or would have if there wasn't some soft and furry object in her way that let out a shriek upon Sapphire's impact with it. "Hmm.. at least I got a soft landing," Sapphire commented until she was pushed off onto the floor by her 'furry cushion'.

"Did you really ha—Sapphire? Is that you?" said the furry cushion that was revealed to be Cadance, albeit looking a bit disheveled and without her usual regalia.

"Yes... since I'm the only light blue alicorn that is running around in this castle... we're in Canterlot Castle, right?" Sapphire replied as she got onto her hooves and looked around at the room she was in. It was rather pink for Sapphire's taste, including some red hearts on the walls here and there, though some of them were partly covered by what appeared to be posters of some bands that were composed of stallions dressed in some ragged dark clothing.

"Yes, we are, Sapphire. Specifically, my bedroom. And I asked if it was you because you could have been Discord for all I know. Unless you really are him and are trying to pass a fast one on me, which is the case since I never saw Sapphire with a gut before," Cadance declared as she gave Sapphire a poke to her belly.

"Hey! Don't poke me there, and I only have a belly cause I ate a room full of cake," Sapphire retorted, causing Cadance to give her a flabbergasted look.

"Discord... dropped you into a room of cakes? Really?" Cadance asked as she shook herself out of her surprise while giving Sapphire a narrowed-eyed stare.

"Yeah... he was rather nice to me in fact. Well, for the most part, and it might be because he told me he was cutting me some slack cause of the magics that are on me. Though, what kind of slack was he giving me?" Sapphire stated as she tapped her chin in thought.

"The kind of slack that torments an alicorn to her wit's end. Like how he tied me down to a boat that went through a mockery version of the tunnel of love," Cadance stated with a shiver. "I can't even imagine what my aunts are going through..."

"Discord did that to you? But why?" Sapphire asked with a look of confusion clear on her face, causing Cadance to raise an eyebrow at her.

"What are you talking about? Don't you kn—you never got to the part about Discord in your history books, did you?" Cadance asked with a suspicious look.

Giving Cadance an awkward smile, Sapphire replied, "Well, maybe? I did skim some parts that involved Celestia... so if it was tied to her, then I might have skipped it?"

Letting out a groan, Cadance placed a hoof against her head as she said, "Okay, I'll just give you a summary then. Discord sank the land of Equestria into utter chaos, and defeated Celestia and Luna every time they tried to challenge him. Eventually, they came across the Elements of Harmony and used them to defeat him by turning him into stone. Ever since then, he was kept in the castle gardens for safekeeping. Did you get all that?"

"...Yes... but why would Celestia keep a prisoner like Discord in the castle gardens of all places? What's preventing somepony from knocking over the statue and breaking it, thereby releasing Discord?" Sapphire asked with a befuddled expression.

"Cause it wasn't any normal stone statue. You can't just drop it from a great height and expect it to shatter, it took some kind of magical means to undo a spell like that," Cadance explained with some annoyance apparent in her tone.

"Okay... but what's preventing some ponies from just stealing Discord and replacing it with a copy of him?" Sapphire replied. This caused Cadance to open her mouth before closing it as she paused about it, thinking to herself as Sapphire just watch her as she waited for an answer.

Rubbing her chin, Cadance opened her mouth and closed it three more times before finally answering, "You know, I don't know if there is such a thing. I guess having the guard around protecting the castle would have made it difficult. But with a bunch of ponies that had some spellcaster to hide a cart with magic, then it might be possible to simple cart it away or use other methods to get Discord out of the castle."

"Then wouldn't it be a bad idea to put somepony where they could be easily seen by other ponies, who could then steal him and release him upon the world?" Sapphire said as she continued with her line of thought.

As her eyes widen with realization, Cadance said, "You really have a good point there... I really need to talk to my aunties about this then. Maybe having him in the gardens in the first place was why he was eventually able to get out!"

Nodding in agreement, Sapphire added, "But he's not that bad of a guy, you know."

Turning to give Sapphire a surprised look, Cadance asked, "What makes you say that about the being that is causing chaos all over Equestria?"

"Cause he gave me free cake?" Sapphire answered, which prompted Cadance to drop her head into her forehooves.

"Of course, it's free food... it's always the free food."

Comments

[Derpsterette]

Free food is best pony

[Lady Lightning Strike]

cause I ate a room full of cake

...How big of a room we talking here? throne room sized? Golden oaks sized?

[Admiral Q Ponyform]

Leave it to Sapphire to find the flaw in Tia's security.

[Hiirome]

8753341
Hmmmmmmmm... Nah. For the moment, Chance she's at least a descendant, but not directly the Lost Sister. Not with the elements that we have right now.

- First, she didn't have any memories of two other sisters. If there are, they have not been found. And it surprises me, because she found back already some Early memories, so she should have got at least a clue about their existence, unless i missed something in the earliest memories.
- Second, the nomadic sisters each founded a tribe with followers around them. By the eyes of theses memories, this tribe is already there when she's a young filly in her formative years. I don't think that a young filly has enough skill and charisma to pull this one off at such a young age.

I'm more thinking along the lines of she's a Descendant of the Lost Sister, Methink Daughter or Granddaughter and she lived were the Tribe went when they vanished.

[Wysteria]

Awesome chapter. And amazing how easily Sapphire pointed out the flaws in Celestia's choice.

[Asolem2]

Something about these magics tells me that they're old, older than Celestia and Luna, even older than anyone that I know of. But not just old... they're foreign, like nothing I ever encountered before," Discord explained, rubbing his goatee even though its detached from his chin at the moment.

Interdimensional travel in a Silvak story: Confirmed (probably)

"Cause it wasn't any normal stone statue. You can drop it from a great height and expect it to shatter, it took some kind of magical means to undo a spell like that," Cadance explained with some annoyance apparent in her tone.

Or three fillies having an argument

Nodding in agreement, Sapphire added, "But he's not that bad of a guy you know."

True, he dosen't really want to hurt anyone, just have some fun at the expense of others

"Cause he gave me free cake?" Sapphire answered, which prompted Cadance to drop her head into her forehooves.

Ah.... Yes suppose that whould be enough of a reason for you, wouldn't it

[Ephedianroyalty]

8753875
I kinda hate that you disproved my favorite theory right off the bat. You make solid points though.

[GamePlayer64]

If a being of Chaos is making food appear out of thin air, anyone would think he isn’t a bad guy. Also like Marie Antoinette would say “Let them eat cake!”

[Auxiliary Nexus]

8753761
Probably Gala sized.

[Kevin Lee]

Chaos magic vs Chaos magic...

vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/random-ness/images/5/50/Vector_dis_gon_b_gud.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130224135055

[HURTBOTPEGASUS9]

Food! Glorious Food! 🍇🍈🍉🎂🍊🍋🍌🍍🎂🍎🍏🍐🍑🎂🍒🍓🍅🍆🌽🌶🎂🍄🌰🍞🧀🍔🍟🍕🌮🌯🍳🍲🍿🍱🍘🍙🎂🍚🍛🍜🍝🍠🍢🍡🎂🍦🍧🍨🍩🍪🎂🍰🍫🍬🍭🍮🍯☕🍵🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

[Greatazuredragon]

"Don't tell me that, no pony has ever eaten that much cake in the history of Equestria. Not even Celestia could eat that much, and they're her favorite food! Yet here you are, sitting in an empty cake room that I thought was going to keep you fed for a few days, with your belly barely bludging out!"
Looking down at her belly, Sapphire commented, "Yeah, I'm actually surprised that I got my stomach to be this way. I think this is the first time that I ever saw it this way."
Left eye twitching, Discord ran his lion's paw down his face, taking it off as it attached to the palm of the paw as he said, "I don't know whether to revel in this nature-defying moment or to be horrified."

Congrats Sapphire! You just managed to SHOCK Discord!
8754685

Nodding in agreement, Sapphire added, "But he's not that bad of a guy you know."
Turning to give Sapphire a surprised look, Cadance asked, "What makes you say that about the being that is causing chaos all over Equestria?"
"Cause he gave me free cake?"

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

Left eye twitching, Discord ran his lion's paw down his face, taking it off as it attached to the palm of the paw as he said, "I don't know whether to revel in this nature-defying moment or be horrified."

Holy SHIT!!! Sapphire acutally managed to shock the Spirit of Chaos!

"Cause he gave me free cake?" Sapphire answered, which prompted Cadance to drop her head into her forehooves.

That would always be a good enough reason for you huh Sapphie?

[Asolem2]

"Then wouldn't it be a bad idea to put somepony where they could be easily seen by other ponies, who could then steal him and release him upon the world?" Sapphire said as she continued with her line of thought.

They'd first have to figure out that it wasn't just a normal statue and then they would have to figure out a way to break a spell used by the Elements of Harmony, and then, after figuring out all of that, they would have to be stupid enough to actually release him