Which ends it:

Happily ever after, anyone?

Mike

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Naaah. There's always hardships and quarrels and heartaches and misunderstandings and sorrows. But there are happier ever after, and I think this is one.

I'd rather like to see a continuation of this - you've got a good style going here, and your particularly earthy take on pony biology might yield interesting results. And the confusion when Applejack winds up pregnant should be priceless.

"So ... what? She cheated on you, Flutters?"
"Dash, how dare you say that! Of course she didn't."
"But this makes no sense? You can't just fillyfool harder and make a foal!"

And then things get explained to Dash in small words she can understand, and much amusement is had.

Yes, I think that another story continuing this one would be great

974817 Oh that's gonna be an interesting convo, yes, assuming Fluttershy is sufficiently, erm, potent.

945009 I feel so God-damned old reading this. Back in the day, Apple called their computers "Macintosh" instead of the shortened "Mac." Apparently it was an intentional misspelling on Apple's part, though I imagine either Macintosh or McIntosh would show up as OK on a proper word processor.

Bittersweet really but still done quite well.

I was hoping this would be a story about love being blind and accepting ponies for who they are but...

**COUGHCOUGHcharacterassasinationCOUGHCOUGH**

This is something I rarely see with Mature rated stories. An adult subject handled in a mature matter. The situation at hand you created (Fluttershy being a herm.) and the way you handled it could not have been done better. Most stories that involve such a subject only try to open other areas of ways to have sex, rarely exploring the true problems it presents in the end.

Those who are the rare breed of both genders never truly have it easy. What you made is a very likely real life scenario of what would happen: Possible rejection among many, thus the herm casting themselves out. As well as a friend having their feelings change because of the unique situation. Also, the likely question that pops up, does the best friend whose feelings have changed love her for what she is or who she is?

In the end, this is a maturely handled mature story. One I am proud to have read. I do not regret it.

Also please, make a sequel. This one deserves it!

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I've got:

A possibly novel length Pinkie Pie transdimensional action adventure piece I've been meaning to write for over a year now to get to first, but I think I already know what the basic plotline for a sequel to this would be. Thanks for your interest, folks!

Mike

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Still there's a difference between having a shock and running like you saw the devil himself.

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Very true:

It's something I'll definitely address in the sequel, too.

Mike

Excellent! At first I wasn't sure, but then I was already reading chapter four and knew that there had to be something here if I was still going. Presumably I had the hardest time accepting that this was a serious story with futashy, but you handled it masterfully. The elements all flow together and I thoroughly enjoyed the read. I too would be most interested in a sequel, assuming you are so inclined, of course, and I'll be keeping an eye out for your other works!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!

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Oddly enough:

The first time I ever heard the word "Futashy" was when folks started commenting on the first three chapters of this. It was Applejinx's wonderfully epic Trixie's Magic Bit that first put the idea of futanari ponies into my head. Thanks for reading, though: you can find my four other stories--all of them "all ages" and of varying lengths--on my user page, and there are indeed more to come!

Mike

Delightfuly interesting piece, this is...
Awesomely well written, and greatly encircled, I guess I can say It's worth reading...
As I said, great story, I kind of loved it.

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Thanks!

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Right now:

I'm typing away on my big Pinkie Pie adventure, but after that, I'm definitely putting some notes together for a sequel to this.

Mike

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw299_1298776425927.jpg

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Then my work here:

Is done. Till the sequel, I mean...

Thanks!

Mike

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It's all very:

Neat and tidy.

Mike

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Thanks!

The whole idea of what's natural and what isn't is one of the things I've most enjoyed about the Ponyverse from the very beginning. When AJ says--in both episode two and episode four, as a matter of fact--that the Everfree Forest "ain't natural" because things happen there without the involvement of any pony, it made me realize that the pony definition of the word "natural" is the exact opposite of the human definition. In pony philosophy--or at least in my interpretation of pony philosophy--ponies make things natural by working on them, and anything that's untouched by a pony's mind or hoofs is therefore unnatural.

So it's not sex that AJ thinks of as unnatural. It's lust, a base emotion, something a pony can't control and the very thing that doomed her parents' relationship. Still, we'll be learning more about all that when I finish up my current Pinkie Pie adventure story and get to work on the sequel to this 'round about the the first of November.

Mike

Okay ... waiting for sequel

I have been reading this story since about 1:30 in the morning and have finally finished it, time being 3. I have to tell you this is one of the best I've seen within this genre. Great job and I can't wait until the sequel. Keep me posted PLEASE!!! I was actually kind of hoping that Fluttershy would realize her mistake about who she loved and she sure did. I'm actually very glad that it happened to be AJ that she loved.

This was just...awful

974817 as eye gougingly painful this would be to read, i want to read it, this has got to be the weirdest thing i have read in a great long time, im not sure wether i should look back and enjoy it or wash my brain out with brainbleach...

I was all which then turned into then proceeded to turn into a resounding .....

A thumbs! I raise one skyward!

D'awwwww. I really enjoyed that one.

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I wouldn't call her a hermaphrodite, but she isn't a transvestite in the human sense of the word either. She seems closer to transvestite though than hermaphrodite, because for her to be hermaphrodite she would have to have both male and female PRIMARY sexual organs, not just both male and female characteristics and secondary sexual organs. That would mean that she would require BOTH testicles and ovaries. All other factors are not in consideration for whether or not she is a hermaphrodite.

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I'll be getting more into:

Fluttershy's condition in chapter three of the sequel, but what she has is the cartoon pony equivalent of partial androgen insensitivity syndrome. But like I say, that's coming up in a couple weeks.

Mike

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Ah, I remember reading about that, but I kinda forgot about it...

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Applejack:

Totally agrees with you. Animal biology is gooey and messy.

Mike

you get inspired whit THOSE stories?! (Trixie's magic bits?! =O)
I totally gonna read this! (also because I like AppleShy a lot =3 )
and of course the sequel too!
I gonna comment when I end reading each chapter!

That was cute.

About the way you write your comments:

As in, starting with a short sentence with a colon, followed by a main body of text, and then your name twice indented.

Mike

Like that. Why do you do that? The colon sentence fragment is pointless and distracting. The indentation makes it look confusing. Signing with a name is also pointless, seeing as you have your username right next to your post. If you want people to know your real name, write it on your bio - no need to tell us with every post you make.

As for the story itself, it was decently written. Your headcanon about pony sexual anatomy weirded me out too much to press thumbs up, though. I think it would have worked just fine using more standard equine/human biology. Opening your flap could easily be replaced by simply being visibly aroused (erect/wet and swollen/both) and not very many changes would have to be made. In return you'd gain a lot more readers. If just talking about sexual anatomy is enough to make you think about using a gore tag, something is wrong.

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Thanks for:

Your comments, by the way. I always learn a lot when folks take the time to tell me what doesn't work for them in a story.

As for the shape of my comments, it's because I'm old, old enough to have written my first stories on a manual typewriter 'cause that's all that had been invented at that point. So I learned what used to be called "informal letter format" when I was in school. The salutation is at the top, flush with the left margin, and ends with a colon. The paragraphs are then all indented and single-spaced with a blank line left between each paragraph, and the signature is scootched over to the right. Most comment boards on the internet don't allow me to do this, though, so when I find one that does, I come all over nostalgic and go a little crazy with it.

The whole idea of the lacinia is odd, yes, but I'm just extrapolating from the show itself. Because the ponies in the show have no external genitalia. They can't. Network standards and practices would never allow the ponies to be anything but smooth between their hind legs. So I started thinking about physiological ways for that to happen and liked the story possibilities inherent in ponies having these flaps back there. And since all my Pony stories are writing experiments of one sort or another, I thought I'd see where the idea took me.

Mike

Amazing Story! I feel quite lucky for this to be the first fan fiction story I've read about MLP. Instantly made an account and I look forward to reading the rest of your work!

That ending is a little too neat, but overall this story was just awesome. From beginning to end I wanted to read more and find out what would happen next. The dialogue, characterization, premise, pacing, it's all very well done. Truly a joy to read!

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Thanks!

If you're looking for more quality Pony fiction, two places to start are Chris's blog One Man's Pony Ramblings and RBDash47's Pony Fiction Vault. Delving through their archives can put you on the track of some good stuff.

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These stories have carved an odd and special place in my heart since I'll likely as not never be able to reuse them in any way in the regular stories I write with an eye toward actual publication. But this one and History and the third in the series--"Philosophy: A Romance Expanded," currently in the planning stages--they're so firmly set in this slightly skewed MLP world that I don't think I could ever extract them.

Mike

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There's a third series in this? Hell yeah! That just made my day!

Awww. This was very cute. On to the sequel!

This was a very sweet story and definitely enjoyed the read. It was very well written and very well thought out. It was nice to see that things developed step by step and this entertained me.

One of the most interesting things in this story is your idea of every pony in Equestria keeping their privates away from view from a simple spell. I've never thought or seen of this before and it makes logical sense.

Overall, great story. I'm eager to read the next one to see how it turns out.

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Cute and sweet:

Are pretty much exactly what I'm aiming for with these, I've decided. I mean, there's no reason sex can't be either of these things, is there?

Mike

A nice story. I really liked how you built up to the dicotomy of "sad mac or sad aj" and then blew it off and made mac out to be a wuss, making me not give a fuck about if he is sad or not

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Thanks:

For all your comments!

With this story, I've always felt that the big hurdle for any reader is getting past chapter one. After that, it's pretty clear sailing....

Mike

so the sequel is a flutterjack, yet this is fluttermac? could you explain if this change occurs near the end or very beginning of this fic? honestly don't want to read fluttermac, so if it is something where fluttershy early on stops faking after macintosh and stats after applejack like she really want to or some similar plot, then i definetly want to read this :) just if you could explain why they seem different story universes, yet are not.

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could you explain if this change occurs near the end or very beginning of this fic?

It starts to change:

Near the middle, and by the end, it is Applejack for Fluttershy all the way.

Mike

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There's just:

One more chapter of this one, then you can go on to the next one. If you're so inclined...

Mike

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Yay! I'm getting started on the second story after I finish chapter 3 of Golden Wings. I have to say what you did with a chant to hide ones genetilia, and Flutters being secretly a hermaphrodite was amazing. And while I do think that Apple Jack's first time with Flutters could have used more descriptions and words in it for a mature tag, but the emotional connection at the end was wonderful, sweet, and full of love, everything that Flutters wanted for her first time. It was a rather good fic all in all.

And I can't wait to see how their relationship grows, both physically and emotionally. It has a lot going for it, and is quite possibly one of my top favorite clops I've read for the feels and fluff than the sex. Congrats. I can not wait to see what you do for book 3.

All that and this is the end. . .
.
.
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I hate you and I hate your story. All that time talking about the genuine love between Macintosh and Fluttershy and then you pretty much said fuck it to everything and made Macintosh out to be the monster that so many before have. That wasn't a happy ending at all. I read this because I thought love would prevail and all I got was a middle finger. And Fluttershy got over herself pretty quickly I might add considering the pony she loved ran away in terror. Macintosh didn't even get enough consideration to let her down gently. I won't waste anymore of your time, and I don't hate you. I'm just disappointed that again, the one character who deserves more is hatefully sidelined for a stupid reason. I may not hate you, but I will hate this story until the day I die.

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My biggest regret:

In writing this story is the way I ended up using poor Mac as a mere plot device. He deserves better, and I wasn't able to give it to him. The best I could do was, in the sequel story, have AJ and Fluttershy apologize to him. And he, always the gentlecolt, graciously accepts.

Mike

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Thanks!

I was really going for the romance angle here, so I'm glad that rang through for you. Be warned, though: the 2nd story does have musical numbers in it.

Mike