• Member Since 16th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 48 minutes ago

BlackRoseRaven


Deadhorse.

T

Tournament of Canterlot charity story. Reader-driven.

Last Call is just trying to live his life. It's not a particularly hard life, but not particularly happy, either: he feels useless, irresponsible, less than a stallion. He loves his wife, with all his heart... and yet at the same time, he can't bear to even look at her.
But as a local festival rolls around, strange things begin to happen around town, and Last Call finds himself trapped in a bizarre nightmare, struggling just to survive the night as monsters that had been sealed away long ago awaken from their eternal slumber, corrupting and devouring all who dare to stand in their way.

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 74 )

Karmic choice: B.

Plot choice: 2.

Karmic: A
Plot: 2

7739395

Whoops. I was putting down some notes for another chapter, actually. I must have crossed them over while half asleep. That could have been very embarrassing. Thanks for noting it.

Seems interesting so far. I like the atmosphere you're building.

KC-B and PC-2. This will be interesting.

I'll go B2.

Wonder how you're going to fill a million words with this one, this time.

7741476

I'm aiming for 100K words with this one, the minimum for the tournament. I think another million word ponystory might kill me.

Go for B1 this time. This filly seems interesting...

A1

Jesus they might as well call the town Gaslight at this point in time shouldn't they? Also totally calling there's a reason the wife's name hasn't be used at all as far as I remember

Also,as a quick aside, I know cheque is a thing in European countries and Canada, but is raincheque a thing as well? I don't think I've ever seen it.

7761116

Yes and no. But I'm sticking to the theme of writing completely in the mysterious foreign language of Canadaland, with all its extra u's and q's, to add to the mystique.
Also I may have forgotten to change my spellchecker to US English.

I noticed it last chapter, but after having read this one, I'm really curious why Last Call's wife's name hasn't been mentioned once. (Not sure if this turns out to be a major plot point, so I'll put it in a spoilertag just to be sure.)

That, or I just missed it somewhere. :derpytongue2:

Also, B1

Noticed one thing:

then why was he only felt truly happy

You probably mixed two ways here, "why was he only truly happy/why had he only felt truly happy".

As for the rest... come to think of it, what race is Last Call? I remember that he was like a twin to Furor in the first chapter save for the eyes, so I assumed was a unicorn as well, but now I'm beginning to doubt that.

Also:

Why don't you ever say her name anymore?” asked the filly, and the stallion only looked away.

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

:facehoof: No answer... darn it.


Ah, yes, B1. No way any sane guy would wander alone after that... but then again, that becomes questionable with Last Call.

A1, because let's be real here, this guy doesn't understand that survival 101 in these things it to NOT go through the conveniently marked path, and it'd be in character for him to go do the stupid thing. At the very least side quest for the huge knife you idiot.

Also I'm not sure if it's stylistic or not but a few places you make the comparative form of a adjective er when it should have been something else (worser was one I think, that itself being comparative to bad)

I'm going to go B1. Perhaps he'll meet a companion! Perhaps he'll meet his greatest nightmare! Either way, this will be interesting.

I'm going for B1 myself.

B2

I don't like happenstance, but the worst that can happen to him is dying a few times before becoming the final boss.

Also I'm furthering my suspicion about the wife by saying she might be Heathering this bitch

Noticed one thing:

A few others came us,

Seems a word's missing here.

As for the choice, I'll go B1. Why the hell would anyone push their luck after encountering something that was so bad it made you vomit just seeing it, and then being told there are worse things out there?

I wanna see where B1 leads.

B1

Also a stone mask but no vampires? Boy I am ashamed

He let herself slump

Huh, reality is wearing thin.

For choice, I'll go B2, although I wouldn't be suprised if Happenstance is already dead.

A1. At this point, any company is welcome, and you should never take precarious mountain paths when something is chasing you.

They'd always compare me to hear and I never could measure up, really, but... how do you equal the sun?”

Think you have a letter too many there... and I'll be damned if the mare turns out to be Tia, of all the ponies.

For choice, A2, at least on a mountain you have more than one direction to go, rather than tunnels that may or may not be a maze/deathtrap.

Apparently I can't upvote this story. I clicked on the thumbs up but nothing happens.

7791077

I find it hard to believe that it would be Celestia, given that nopony else in town seems to be going crazy at the mere thought of royalty. And how Toad was acting doesn't seem like how anyone acts towards a god figure. Well, with a few exceptions of course.

7792481 Well, I would say that that isn't the strangest of things, considering... well, everything in the story not-pony, which all seem to be one singular god to these ponies of the village. Besides, as far as I can remember only two concrete things have been said about who the mare actually is, she at least used to have friends in Canterlot and Call compares him to here as if she were the sun (true, not really objective, but... well, I guess you can figure why I thought it related to Tia) , both only mentioned in this chapter.

And hey, I too think it to be pretty unexpected if that was the case (and BRR can write some damn good herrings), but that's just part of the fun for me.

Choice A2.

If you could choose anyone to voice Last Call, who would it be?

I'd go for A2. Those tunnels could easily lead to a dead end.

A1 for me.

Curious how none (of the readers) seem to want to make Call a 'bad guy', since I have yet to see a vote for the leave companions/be an asshole-option, or at least for the public votes.

7796357

Possibly because most people, given a choice, often put themselves in the character's shoes and thus choose based on what they would do.

7796357

Actually, I'm kind of surprised, too, which is why I allowed voting by message to see if that would result in more people wanting to see Call be a jerk out of the public eye.
But apparently people actually want Call to turn out okay.
I feel like the Grinch witnessing Christmas in Whoville.

B1. Toadsfall gets no sympathy from me.

he looked like a frightened animal, Last Call though, his eyes frightened and low

Think you forgot a t there.

As for the choice... I'll go for 2. Apologies, but I really don't feel like making the karmic choice here. (I'm not going B because I'm pretty sure that will have a much more worse outcome than A for everyone involved, while A... well, you can guess why, BRR)

Toad should get what is coming to him. B. I don't have an opinion of the path they go.

That final scene... yikes.

And I'm choosing B1.

B2

(also holy shit his wife is a cultist or something maybe?)

Go B1. It may not make much sense, but I ain't gonna take any chances with cults.

we're shaping the horrors he see

'he see'?

Huh, that went... reasonably well, for now. Well, besides the sudden godawful backstories (That mare really is something, going through all of that and still smiling). And I have a feeling that Abomination-Toadsfall is really going to bite the story in the ass later (which probably didn't happen if A was chosen.)

For choice, A1.

And the frights keep on coming. I'm going for B1. This sort of thing carries much more dramatic tension at night.

I'm going to go with B1. In a story like this, you should always stick together.

Silent Wish an Furor

Not sure if german thingy or not...

Also, can't Silent Wish fly? I mean, she's a batpony as far as I know, so...

Also:

although Silent Wish was carrying most of the supplies. Goddammit...

Okay, who was the smart one to give most of the supplies to both the smallest (and probably weakest) of the group, as well to someone who can literally just disappear at a moment's notice?

For choice, I'll go A2, though I'm curious if the time of day will really make a difference, considering how strained reality is at this point.

7810019

You made good points actually. Who would give someone all the suplies when that character tends to disappear in a blink of an eye? Then again, it was never established that Last Call was a smart pony.

Go B2.

Holy crap did Pink just get kidnapped by the ghost of Pinkie Pie?

And remember what I said about feeling no sympathy for Toadsfall? I can almost take that back now.

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