THE FEAST OF HARVEST HOME, a Grumpy Goat <tail>

by De Writer

What Is Wrong At Sweet Apple Acres?

Author's Note:

This story is based on an idea given to me by ThE_CrAzY_PoNy_nExT_DoOr

When I saw who it was toiling up the path to my cave, I took the trouble to cast a glamor of my original handsome self on my invisible spirit body.

It made me appear to be the nice piebald white, black and brown goat that I used to be before the bit of an accident that killed me. I am far more careful with Non-Equine magic now!

I waited to greet Applejack’s arrival. I did keep the everburning candle between my horns. It is handy as a reading light inside my cave, where it can get really dark, especially when the solid iron and steel door is shut.

I was delighted by Applejack’s double take when she saw me.

“Darn! Fer a second there, Ah thought Ah was in the wrong place! Then Ah noticed the candle! So how come Ah don’t rate the floatin’ skull an all that there stuff?”

I replied with honesty, “I was trying to make you feel more comfortable. The whole skull bit and all that goes with it is easily arranged if you want it. It is not often that one of the Mane Six shows up here at my cave. This is the first time, in fact.

“Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, even Duchess Red Hoof, yes. Mane Six, nope.

"If you would be so good as to enter my cave, we can talk privately.”

I bowed her into my cave and sealed the heavy iron and steel door behind us. Thanks to the everburning candle between my horns, we could still see a little. I waved a hoof. Other candles in sconces all about the chamber lit up, making the place far better lit and homey.

Turning to my guest a smile on my glamored face, I asked, “So, Applejack, what can I do for you?”

She pulled a long face. “We got a problem down to Sweet Apple Acres. The apples looks right for this time of year but something is off. Shouldn’t make you tummy sick, this far along, but they do. Ah got some of them right here.”

She laid out about a dozen nice looking but still just a bit green apples.

She sighed, “The hundred gold bits that you charge is gonna be a problem too. Ah got it along but we really needs it now, just before the harvest.”

I sat in my easy chair and steepled my hooves. “Before we just jump headlong into a contract that might not be set up right to actually solve your problem, it would be a good idea sort out what the problem actually is. What do YOU think it might be?”

AJ’s brow wrinkled under her forelock. “Ah don’t rightly know, mister Goat. None of us does. We been farming Sweet Apple Acres since Granny was young and Ponyville was only a settlement. None of us ever seen a problem like this ‘un.

“We uses only the best organic farming methods.”

I nodded, my candle making some of the room’s shadows dance, and suggested, “Then we may assume that it is neither the farming or the apples, that is at the root of the problem. Tell me, has any pony tried to BUY or obtain Sweet Apple Acres recently?”

AJ turned a troubled look at the innocent looking apples on my kitchen counter. “What would that have to do with the problem of our apples not being right?”

Dry voiced, I pointed out, “Everything. You are stretched thin right now. If your crop fails, you could be forced to sell at a ruinous price.” I held up a hoof to forestall her outrage and went on, “If that is the case, it is easily proved.

“The form of the non equine magic that I use requires that I be paid for the spells that I do. They simply won’t work if I am not paid.

“A question which does bear on this problem. Do you supply Caramel Treat’s restaurant with apples or apple products?”

AJ snickered, “Of course! They are picky customers but only because they wants the best. Not only do they get it, they pays us the highest prices for our apples, too. Always a pleasure to deal with them.”

I nodded briskly. “Good! I happen to be on a regular monthly retainer with them over certain security issues! That means that I am already paid for these tests! It is a matter of the safety of their customers.”

Since nearly all of my Non-Equine magic totally lacks flash and impressive stuff, I tend to follow a different book when using it. The Manual of Misdirection, Slight of Hoof and Showmanship! Makes for MUCH happier customers!

I got a large sheet of paper and then brought out a small kit. Using fun little rituals, I opened the kit. Taking a charcoal stick, I drew a nice pentacle around one of the apples. It had many little signs and sigils all around it between points and and in the rings surrounding it. Each line or rune had its own bit of ritual. I set small candles around the Pentacle.

Using a small wand of carved bone from the kit, I touched each candle in turn. They all flared to light. Then I sat back and waited.

“What happens now, Mr. Goat?” AJ wanted to know.

I pointed with the small wand. “Watch. It is already happening.”

The apple was starting to glow an unhealthy red.

I clapped my hooves together. All the candles went out at once! There was a small flash of light rushing about the pentacle! All of the pentacle and sigils were burned away, leaving the paper intact. The apple still glowed that same unhealthy red.

I pulled down a biggish book from one of my many shelves.

While I was leafing through the pages and double checking against the glowing apple, AJ shook her head in puzzlement.

“What’s that showing you, Mister Goat? Ah don’t understand.”

I replied absently, as I located the entry that I was looking for, “Your crop has been poisoned, AJ.”