Author's Note: I considered forcing this story to completion, stretching myself mentally and forcing myself to see this story through to the bitter end. The last time I did that was ‘Return to Slender,’ and look how unsatisfying that is as a narrative. (Ironically, I had the idea for a third ‘Slender’ while finishing ‘Return’ and added the tag at the end of the second, sure that I would have what it took to tell that story as well. I was incorrect.)
I view my stories as my children. It may sound pretentious, but it’s true. The ideas take shape in my head and, when the time is right, are born through my hand and onto the screen.
Sometimes, my children are born half-formed and thus are unsatisfying to both myself and my readers. Sometimes they’re rushed and don’t have the impact they’re meant to have.
And sometimes… sometimes they just want to stay as ideas. They don’t want to exist.
It appears that ‘Grogar: Screams Upon a Winter’s Night’ is one of those stories.
I made the decision to write this story months ago. I was encouraged after the first ‘Grogar’ story became the first of my stories to be reviewed by the Seattle Angels. It made me appreciate my little Hearth’s Warming Horror story that much more and I resolved to write another this holiday season.
When I finished the initial concept, I was thrilled by it. The idea of childhood nightmares returning to haunt us as adults was something I just knew I could sink my teeth into. I could pay tribute to some of my favorite horror tropes and revisit characters I’d become quite fond of. More than that, after seeing ‘Hearth’s Warming Tail,’ I knew I could even add a bit of back-story as to what Grogar was while tying my own works to the source material in a new and original way.
The season approached. I donned my Santa hat, opening a blank document, and started work. The first excerpt from Snowfall’s journal came swimmingly.
The first chapter… not so much.
I began to notice problems in the narrative flow. In the first ‘Grogar,’ the ram arrives at the end of the first chapter. As the sequel was planned out, he didn’t show up until the end of the second. This, along with new subplots and new characters, meant that the pacing was completely jacked up. The first chapter was supposed to be visiting Applebloom in the asylum, the trio on the train, and the arrival in Trottingham. The scenes were just too short and nothing was happening. I did some reorganizing and added the scene with the doctor and the orderly, cut the train scene, added the train station scene to take its place, and added the final tag to introduce Pence and Penny. Miracle of miracles, it kind of works.
One problem.
The whole process was a chore. It wasn’t fun. I wasn’t looking forward to telling the story. Pence and Penny’s parents went through numerous characterization revisions. I couldn’t settle on a satisfactory ending. I’ve been fiddling with the second chapter and things don’t feel natural. I just… it wasn’t working.
And so I’ve decided that this child, as excited as I was for it as first, is simply better as an idea. I envisioned it as a movie, not a story. That was my folly.
But sometimes, as KingMoriarty has shown me, it’s okay to throw your hands up and say “You know what? This isn’t working. Let me devote my time to something that is.” In my case, I’m ready to tell ‘On Swift Wings’ and finish ‘the Wicker Mare.’
It breaks my heart to cancel a story I announced over two hundred days ago, but the tale just doesn’t want to be told. I realize a number of you will be disappointed by this and few may even Unfollow me. That’s okay. All I can say is that I’m sorry.
As a consolation, the next chapter will be the full summation of the rest of the plot. In my opinion, the whole story works better as a summary anyway. Sometimes ideas are just meant to be that; ideas.
And maybe ‘Grogar’ works as well as it does because it’s only a one shot. Not everything needs a sequel, y’know?
Scary Christmas, everyone.
-Jade Ring
December 14, 2016
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Consider the original Grogar story.
It ends on one of the most hopelessly bleak notes I've seen in fiction. It's probably the fanfiction equivalent of 1984's ending. It paints an utterly horrific image of the consequences of Grogar's coming, and leaves the reader with truly terrifying unanswered questions about what comes next. And I love it for being a story with the balls to use the destruction of Ponyville, and not as a motivation for action like most stories do, but as the final note.
Cut to the sequel.
Right off the bat, I'm not a big fan of the decision to frame Snowfall Frost as a victim of a writer's creative liberties. Claiming the story really took place in Trottingham is a theory that falls apart almost immediately, due to none of the characters even attempting British accents during the episode, and also feels like it's trying too hard to make A Hearth's Warming Tale and A Christmas Carol precisely one and the same. And on the note of Grogar, and tying him into the windigos, it feels unnecessary and the sort of thing that a sequel does where it tries to shove in backstory.
A big part of what I loved about the first Grogar was that you didn't bother explaining where Grogar came from, why he did what he did, or anything else. He was very much akin to the villains of old; less a monster with an agenda, and more a force of nature with rules about what made you easy prey. His lack of dialogue, his imposing nature, the way that the momentum of his actions is felt more than explained, it was all brilliant. And then you try and tease us with 'And now we'll see what made him'.
Coming back to what I loved about the ending of the first one, the greatest mistake any sequel can make is any flavor of 'the first one was all a hoax'. It was one of the biggest crutches of the second Ghostbusters movie, and while you do manage to underplay it by having the world acknowledge that Ponyville is gone, you rather missed a trick by making the doctors pass off Grogar as a fabrication of AB's mind.
Equestria is a magical world, Jade. Within living memory of the protagonists of the Grogar stories, a monster from long ago that we thought was just a story turned good and became the second princess. It's one of the very few fictional worlds that would not only have a full-on armed deployment against Grogar, but would deliberately weaponize Hearth's Warming spirit and good behavior to make sure he can never come back. And you went for the intrinsically human response of 'this kid be crazy, history is doomed to repeat'.
It's funny that you brought up me, because this actually has a lot more in common with the Other Purple Alicorn incident than it might at first glance appear. In both our cases, the first story was well-liked, brought in a lot of new and fresh attention, and sooner or later (respectively) we decided to cash in on that and re-ignite the passion. Problem is, the original was self-contained and said all it needed to say the first time. What was left was to explore the few avenues not explored the first time, upon which we realized precisely why we didn't explore those avenues the first time.
I respect your decision to end this story rather than force yourself to write it. I eagerly look forward to the rest of Wicker Mare, and indeed anything else you're passionate about.
Ironically, after the opening I was looking forward to this more than to the original. But, eh, I can relate- some things just won't come, no matter how attractive they look in your head. (I could go on about this Rainbow Rocks AU that popped into my head where, instead of the Dazzlings filling the villain role, the "sirens" were the human CMC who had been infected by and addicted to magic- no way is that getting off the ground.
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