New World Arc - Daring Do and the Demon Testicle
Later
Daring Do and I had run for a good long while from the town after our little escape, eventually ending up on an old dirt trail leading further into the mountains ahead. Ones I didn't know the name of, assuming it even had a name to begin with. I just heaved and huffed from the sprint I forced my body through. I tried to get my breathing back under control, which was proving to be quite the monumental task, I've never run that much in my life, so obviously my body wasn't exactly prepared for that shit. My chest ached and my lungs burned like an burning inferno. My legs felt like jelly and were barely able to keep me up, I eventually collapsed to my knees hard and wheezed hard as Snowdrop landed beside me. Trying to keep my heart from exploding inside my chest and filling it with chunky heart parts was... difficult.
I would very much like to keep it intact, thank you very much.
Daring, as I expected, was not even winded in the slightest, she stood with the confidence and swagger of Lara Croft and the intelligence and courage of Indiana Jones, so she was basically their love child. But now that I could rest and get my breath, I was actually able to get a decent look at her. I saw she was wearing that olive green jacket of hers with rolled up sleeves along with a pair of ripped up shorts that showed her toned legs up to her knees. Her mane was long, going way beyond shoulder length reaching just above her—admittedly—fantastic ass where her tail was almost of a similar length going down to her feet.
In terms of how well she looked physically, she was incredible looking. Her body looked very nice, like that of a seasoned adventurer who's been through a lotta shit. Her face was delicate like that of a female, but her eyes were sharp like a sword and thrice as hard.
To sum it all up in just a few words.
She was sexy as fuck.
After a few moments of catching our breath, Daring eventually turned to me and said, "We need to get over the mountains where you can catch a train to the next town over. Those Caribou aren't going to give up easy, so our best bet is to split up once we’re over the mountains, cover our tracks and get out of their sights." The mare explained to me.
I wheezed a few more times like the good Aids patient I was and replied. "I gathered that they wouldn't give up on us after that, they don't seem like the type to just let a pair like us fuck them over and get away with it." I spit on the ground nearby. My chest and lungs were still hurting, but the pain had dulled down a bit to a numb ache, so I could handle it for now, at least until I could get some proper rest. "Oi..." I groaned before standing up and walking over to Daring, who turned to regard me with this look that I couldn’t quite decipher. "Well... if we're gonna be traveling together for a spell, might as well introduce myself. I’m Dustin Morin, but you can call me Dee or whatever." I told her as I held out my hand for a handshake.
Daring looked at my hand and I saw a flash of something else in her eyes, but she took my hand and shook it. Her gloved grip was strong as she gave me a half-hearted handshake then let go of my hand just as quick. "Daring Do." She told me, but I already knew that. She didn't need to know that I knew, not yet anyway, that was one of those delimmas that I was not looking forward to getting into just yet.
"So, uh... mountain?" I gestured to the obstacle, which was hella tall and had a few paths leading up to and around it. I doubt we were going to walk around it however.
Daring nodded her head and we both started for it. Adjusting her pack which no doubt held the orb and me following suit, we started walking down the road. Snowdrop followed behind us, flying above us like the awesome owl she was and keeping an eye out.
The walk was pretty quiet, save for the only sounds being the crunching of dirt under our footsteps, the growing sounds of the wind from above, and my own wheezing from the sprinting I had done. I was honestly surprised I had run that far and that fast, I never got out that much in recent months, opting instead to spend my time laying around watching TV. I guess my body is in slight shock from the massive amount of movement I undertook.
After some time climbing up the dirt path, Daring had decided to start up a conversation with me with a topic that... understandably confused me. "I've never seen a human out here before." She said, almost too quietly for me to hear properly, but it was directed at me. "Thought you were all isolationists and xenophobes that hid across the southern seas, why have you left your home?"
I blinked at that, there were more humans here besides me? Curious to think about, actually. "Say what now? I am neither of those things, though I can't speak for my entire race... speaking of which, how do you even know what I am?" I questioned, I was working on the assumption I was the only human in this world. That’s how most of these stories tended to go, a human in a world that lacked others of his species.
Knowing she knew what I was made me wonder...
The mare turned to look at me, fixing me with a slightly baneful gaze that sent me recoiling back a little. "Just because I'm a pony doesn't mean I'm an idiot, I've done my research on your race and where you all live. So don't go assuming I'm an idiot just because I'm not one of you!" She hissed at me, gloved fists balled up tightly.
I just backed up from her with my hands raised, jeez! Where did that come from? "Whoah, calm down!" I told and after a few moments, she stopped glaring at me before turning away to walk down the road. "Who crapped in your cereal?" I questioned in a slightly joking way.
The explorer didn’t appreciate my attempt at humor, however. "All you humans..." She shook her head before continuing up the road, ending her thought before it began.
I blinked as she ventured up the road, leaving me behind. "Uh Daring, hey, wait for me dang it!" I called out to her, jogging up to her side and trying to match her pace. She was speedwalking down the road and I had to struggle a bit to match her speed, I must've pissed her off somehow, but what did I do? "What's wrong exactly? I don't recall doing anything bad to ya..."
Turning around, the golden mare looked at me out of the corner of her eye, she looked curious, angry, hateful even, but mostly curious. "Where are you from exactly?"
I cleared my throat, feeling some chunks of last night's dinner lodged in there still. "I'm not from around here, but that seems rather obvious considering. I'm uh..." I flexed my hand a little. How delicately can I put this? "I'm not really from this world, so to speak."
Yeah, that should be delicate enough.
Daring looked at me like I was some kind of lunatic before she rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Mr. Morin. I'm an accomplished historian, archaeologist, and an explorer with enough degrees to bury you alive in, so-"
My scoff cut her off. "I'm not lying," I told her flatly. "Look, I am legit not from this world at all, whoever these other humans are, I'm not from their country or nation or whatever. I am a 100% alien-human, with drastically more sex appeal than the other humans you've no doubt seen." I boasted with no small amount of physical flare in my stance. "I am Dustin Dee Morin, human from the planet known as earth~" I stated, spinning around a bit before striking the manliest of poses.
She just blinked, I could clearly see she was unimpressed with me.
Probably annoyed as well... not surprising, I'm an annoying person at heart.
I sighed before relaxing into a normal posture and speaking again. "Well, it's up to you to believe me or not, either way, I don't care and I just wanna find some food." With that said I continued up the mountain, strutting without a care in the world about what may happen to me.
Probably not the best of ideas to do, considering I was in a magical world that could throw some hefty magical threats at me like, lol die bitch!
Whew.
Walking up the mountain was a half difficult affair for me, mostly because this was the most activity I've gotten in months. I'm a lazy piece of crap that never goes outside and moves unless I absolutely need to. The only time I've ever gotten out a lot was earlier in the year to practice my free-running, and yes, while I have practiced free-running and all that good stuff, it had been a year since I’ve done any major physical activity like what I just did in that town. I wasn't exactly a master at it, and having just sprinted like a maniac not too long ago, jumping off of shit, and jumping over shit, it really took it out of me. But the pleasant burn coursing through my body right now made me a bit happy, more work than I've ever gotten in a long while, and reminding me I needed to get more done to keep myself in shape.
Perhaps I can work out some on my journey.
No doubt by the time this ends, I'll be ripped as fuck.
Anyway. As tiring as it was to walk up this mountain path, thankfully there was a clear path to follow, a path that's seen plenty of travel over the years. There were markings in the dirt leading further up, wagon wheel tracks, boot prints, and no grass was growing from the near constant travel it had seen. And it made it easier to a degree to make my way up the path, which I was all for, hehe.
My stomach grumbled suddenly... and I was also reminded of something important.
I was starving and I needed food.
But alas... there was none in sight unless I ate Snowdrop... but I wasn't going down that route, like ever.
Also, my shoulder still hurts like a bitch from her digging her claws into me, I need to stop Snowy from landing on it. Technically, I shouldn't be letting her do that anyway, her talons were super sharp and they always dug through my shirt.
I need to find a leather shoulder pad or something, that'll help out quite a bit.
I shook my head of all that, doing my best to get rid of the thoughts whirling around my head. Daring and I continued to climb up the path with Snowdrop flying high above us, focusing on reaching the pass and getting to the other side.
The desert area along the mountain pass eventually gave way to a few dusty looking and high standing trees that had some funky looking birds perched in the branches, spanning outwards and offering some decent shade to any travelers who may have been walking up this path, such as us for example! I was thankful, fuck the sun, gah! The path led us through some passageways through the mountain itself, wide passages through rocky cliffs and sheer walls of stone stretching upwards of almost thirty feet in height.
And I couldn't help but feel like I was in the the lands of Skyrim, but without 80% of the snow, bandits, wolves an-
"Frostbite Spiders."
I nodded glumly, recalling those spiders and how nasty they were, sometimes easy to kill but other times they were just a pest! "Yeah, those... wait, what?" How did she know about them? Turning to Daring, I saw her looking ahead of us. I followed her gaze, and saw what she was staring at. I froze at the sight of several overly large spiders blocking the path, skittering around and hissing. I briefly wondered how in the sweet buttery fuck I had missed those the whole time I was staring ahead, guess my mind was somewhere else and my eyes followed. "Uuhh... yeah... how about a big fat no on that one, yeah?" I suggested to Daring quietly, eyeballing the massive eight legged monsters that stalked around the path and bushes looking for something to munch on.
Before she could answer however, I heard the most terrifying screech come from ahead and saw one of the spiders looking towards us with its beady black eyes.
I may have panicked a tiny smidgen.
"Oh, fist fuck me for 48 hours and call me senpai." I growled out as the spiders started to converge on us from the bushes and treeline, making my panic rise.
Daring had blasted off into the air with a flap of her wings, flying at them with a snarl and leaving me behind. I was left to fend for myself with my combat knife that I just pulled out from my belt, someone's confident. Okay Dee, you got this. I told myself, trying to reassure the inner bitch inside me that I wasn't going to die a horrible death here. I tightly gripped my knife's rubber handle, both fear and adrenaline beginning to wash through my veins like a wave and making my muscles tense up.
One of the smaller spiders that came at me hissed loudly, screeching like a banshee almost. It was about as big as a shepherd dog, but resembled a jumping spider. It made a weird warbling noise leaping up at me, its legs acting like powerful springs and sending it right at me. They are fucking jumbo sized jumping spiders! I barely ducked out of the way as it soared over my head, its furry legs grazing my cap and almost knocking it off.
"Yah!" I quickly whipped around and tackled it to the ground, landing on it. "Die sucka!" I declared loudly, stabbing my knife into its furry hide with a squelch noise. It gave a screech of pain before managing to buck me off like a bronco, and by doing so I tumbled off its back with my knife still lodged firmly in its body like a thumbtack.
I guess it decided it wasn't going to take this shit, and opted to run for it, and stealing my shit!
"Hey! That's mine you furry little bastard!" I scurried back to my feet and running after the little freak. I growled loudly in annoyance, watching it buggering off into the trees like a little bitch. I saw Daring fight off one of the bigger ones with a rock she must have picked up, grunting with each hit that impacted the thing and sending green blood flying out of its wounds.
I just followed after the spider through the trees and out into the open again, and I saw it tried to flank Daring from the side, shooting a glob of green goop towards her that looked both nasty and sticky. Thankfully she spotted it and ducked down to dodge before hurling her rock towards another bigger spider. There so much force behind the throw that the rock went straight through the bug's face with a sickening crunch. The golden mare whirled around in the air like a tiny twister, spinning rapidly before falling to the ground onto her hands and using both gravity and the momentum of her to bring down her leg in a fierce dropkick on top of a spider that had been behind her, crushing it with her heel with a loud crack, splitting something and causing her entire leg to almost cut clean through it.
I was suddenly very scared for my life.
Fuck, she's a powerful fighter. I made a mental note and filed it away into the 'do not fuck with' folder and told myself not to piss her off under any circumstances.
If only to save myself from being split in half by one of those kicks... whew!
I jumped up onto and off of a rock, propelling myself over with a yell onto the spider-thief I had been chasing. Once I landed on top of him, I yanked out my knife, causing a deluge of goop to gush out before stabbing it again and again. It squealed and shrieked in pain, my knife was also having a bit of trouble entering its tough hide, but I managed! None steal my shit and get away with it! "This is my knife you little fuck-nozzle!"
I stabbed it once more for final measure, splitting it's hard exoskeleton open and killing it. The damned thing shriveled up into a ball on the ground, it was dead. I pulled my knife away with a shlick noise, green blood dripping from the blade and onto the ground. I turned to look at Daring who was still fighting another spider, a bigger one that made me wonder it was a leader of this small pack we had been fighting.
It was a big one... probably a lot bigger than the ones you’d seen in an RPG game. It was close to being that boss size one you'd find in a dungeon that when you killed it, you got sick experience and loot.
Mmm... fuck it.
I ran towards the big spider with my knife held down, pushing what I had left into my legs and jumping onto its back as Daring fought off its pincers that threatened to bite into her. The spider bucked and reared up once I landed on its back, I spotted Daring was freed from her little predicament and was currently rolling under and out of sight. I just stabbed the spider in the back a bunch of times, sending more of the disgusting green goop blood spilling out onto my pants and my knife, and it smelled baaaad! It roared in anger, a mixture of a guttural growl and hiss. The fear that was buried by the adrenaline and fast-paced action came back full force, and I just realized that I had stupidly jumped onto the back of a giant and—very fucking likely—poisonous spider and stabbing it with a knife that was... literally a twig compared to how big it was...
Why am I an idiot?
Stupid heroic instincts of mine! I stumbled around on top of the spider, my confidence wavered as it moved around violently to try and shake me off. "Whoah nelly!" I ended up losing my grip shortly, causing me to fall forward. "Shit!" I slid forward, my face close to meeting the ground. I was luckily able to get my grip back on the spider's hide, grabbing onto the patches of hair and keeping my iron clad grip on the knife. Sadly, I found my face in front of its face, where all of its eyes turned to look at me in a very cartoonish way. It growled deeply. "...hi."
"Raaaar!"
"Yipe!"
I noped my way out of that situation, scrambling up and onto its back with fast and furious speed. I channeled my inner climber, speeding across and jumping off with a cry. A blur rushed by me as Daring shot out of nowhere, and I whirled around after I landed and got to see the mare just in time. She flew and looped up and around into the air, spinning around rapidly like she had before in that mini-tornado, her entire body was a series of frightening afterimages that I could barely keep track on before she angled her entire body sharply, dropping her leg down onto the spider's back with the same incredible force as before. I heard something crack and shatter, causing the beast to screech in pain.
I watched Daring deliver a lot of sickening and cringe inducing punches and kicks to the spider. It tried fighting back, legs swinging outward and mandibles snapping at her, shooting goop and webs. But she was able to dodge every attack, moving around managing to to throw attack after attack before it finally fell under her rapid fire assault.
I just stood back as Snowdrop hovered next to me, both of us just staring at now slightly winded Daring Do who turned to gaze at me.
She wiped her brow, and asked, "What?"
Yhe note inside my mind that read 'Do not fuck with Daring Do' was immediately underlined sixteen times with several exclamation points added onto the end, also some skull and cross bones added for extra flavor. "I am thoroughly impressed," I told her, eyes wide as my heart started thumping like a drum, I felt breathless, "and very very scared... damn, girl."
She just grunted in reply before heading off down the path, brushing off her clothes as I followed behind her.
Damn... I didn’t think she’d be that tough a fighter. I know she's an adventurer but still! I guess there’s more to ponies than meets the eye. Daring, Snowdrop and I continued on our way down the path.
And ooh lawdy...
What a journey we had ahead of us.
ooo000---000ooo
We spent about an hour or so in complete silence on our walk down through the mountains, headed to the next town where I would take a train or something to Equestria proper and hopefully get both rest and answers. I was extremely tired from our previous encounter, not only from that fight but all this walking left me a bit tired. But I pressed on! I continued on up until we eventually crossed over the mountain pass and started our way down, which was a relief for my legs. Thankfully we hadn't run across anymore beasties, or those Caribou fuckers that were chasing Daring Do and I for what she had in her pack.
We were safe for now, anyway, until someone decides to fuck us over completely, which I was betting on happening soon.
The path down the mountain had a building nearby with a bench, it looked like a rest stop for travelers and I was grateful for seeing it. Daring and I decided on stopping and getting some rest for a bit which gave my legs and lungs a rest.
Gah... I felt so out of shape from all of this, and my body wasn't exactly in horrible condition either! I sat down on a bench with a heavy sigh as Daring leaned against one of the walls. Snowdrop flew off into the woodland area nearby, probably to go find some eats. I just groaned after my ass impacted the wood of the bench, grateful for the respite but also punishing me for the constant movement. I wiped my brow of the sweat, flinging it from my fingers before going about cleaning off my knife with the bandanna I kept in my back pocket, it was disgusting right now.
Any warrior worth his weight would know to keep his weaponry clean!
I was half way through cleaning some chunks of spider goop and bits that had hardened far too much for my liking when I heard Daring shift slightly. "Interesting knife." Daring spoke up all of a sudden, making me look up at the mare who was still leaning against the wall and now looking at me.
I hid my frown as I returned her gaze... she still had that look in her eyes.
I looked at my knife, the blade itself a M48 combat knife with a green rubber handle and a black steel blade. It was decent in a pinch and worth every penny I spent on it, at least when it came to working on things back home. And after fighting off those spiders? Methinks I'll leave it a nice review whenever I end up going home. "This old thing?" I asked, twirling it a little before holding it blade up. "Its pretty handy, sharp too and totally worth the money I threw into buying it."
I held it up for her to look at, and she blinked at me before her eyes narrowed at the blade. "Doesn't look like any human knife I've ever seen before." Daring told me in a curious and investigative tone, her magenta eyes flicking to me. "In fact, you seem a lot different then the ones I've seen and heard about..."
Now that got my attention. I know she apparently knew about humanity and stuff, at least from what I've gleaned from our earlier conversation upon meeting. But now I was wondering how much she actually knew. "How so?" She had actually seen some of these other humans? Interesting... very interesting indeed, and if I recall correctly, they were across the southern sea or something.
Daring made her way over to me, and I couldn't help but notice that slight sway to her hips before she stopped and sat down near me. She faced me completely, her eyes narrowed and searching. "You're speaking near perfect Equestrian, there’s a slight accent in your tone but it's practically flawless. You don’t speak the language of your people, in fact, I haven't heard you use a single word or phrase of theirs since I've met you."
Uhh... okay? I shook my head slightly to that, so other humans spoke some other language? What language? Was it something from earth, or was it an entirely new language? That more or less buggered any hope of meeting these other humans and maybe finding some help there, assuming Equestria didn't work out that well for me. "Well... this is how I've always spoke. I don't really know any other language." I told her as honestly I could, shrugging my shoulders. "I know like, yes, no, hello, and goodbye in like one or two other languages."
Daring gave me a suspicious look.
A few seconds of intense staring from her, and she shifted on the bench slightly. "Were you raised in Equestria?" She questioned me next.
I shook my head, as cool as that would have been, I'd be vastly different then how I am today. "Nope, I told you befpre... I'm an alien from another world." I told her again, waggling my eyebrows. "I just lack tentacles and such, hehehe." I Joked and wiggled my fingers. Daring just gave me that odd look of hers, like she was in deep thought and annoyed at the same time.
I would be too if some dude came up and told me he was an alien, of course I would need evidence to discern if such a thing is true or not. I’m not exactly one of those people who’s like... 'naaaah, aliens don’t exist, kys.'
They fuckin’ do and you know it.
She crossed her arms under her - admittedly - decent sized chest and snorted slightly. It was then I noticed that I was looking at her tits a lot... I'm such a pervert, gah! Daring's wings fluttered on her back and I wrenched my gaze back up to her eyes, thankfully she didn't seem to be paying attention. Her wings were flexing outwards before resting tightly against her back and sides, and she said, "I'm not so sure I believe you about that nonsense."
I shrugged to that, perfectly understandable. "I can understand that, I wouldn't either unless I had absolute proof on the matter." I told Daring, grinning once more. I could tell her I know exactly who she is, but I should probably keep that to myself... for now, anyway, until such a time comes that I do spill the beans. I have no idea how she'd handle what I know.
With that in mind I stood up and twirled my knife before sliding it back into the sheath on my belt. After I was rested up enough, my eyes flicked back towards the road and I caught sight of what I could only assume was the next town. I could even make out the faint noise of a train whistle blowing loudly, and in the distance a train pulled into the station below.
I nodded to myself, last destination before hitting Equestria proper, and I'm in the clear!
"So that's our way out?" I asked, blinking at the small town in the distance, it looked rather homely.
I wondered what Daring and I were going to do once we reached Equestria...
But what she said next kinda shocked me.
"For you, yes. Not me... I still have to find the other keys." Daring told me. I frowned at that and looked over to her, splitting up already? "You should head into Equestria, maybe head to Ponyville if you're looking to stay somewhere safe. If not and you want to head to the place of your people, head to Manehattan. Maybe you can find a boat that'll take you to their lands overseas. The gold I gave you should cover any expenses you need on your way to Equestria, or wherever you may be headed." With that said and done, she turned and started to walk down a road that I noticed diverted from the path heading into town, it headed further east into the mountains.
I paused for a second, gears in my mind turning before I chased after her. "Wait wait wait! That's it? We just split up?" I asked her, I felt kinda sad that this little adventure of ours was ending so soon.
She turned to face me suddenly, stopping and staring into my eyes with those fierce looking orbs. I stepped back... and I don’t know why, but the weirdest feeling trailed down my spine once we locked eyes. There was something in her eyes... something scary, like the look an adult gives a child who's doing something stupid. "Listen kid... this isn't some kind of bullcrap storybook adventure where you meet a pretty girl, go on an adventure, save the day, and then nail her at the end so you both can have a happily ever after."
Damn, girl... harsh. I recoiled ever so slightly at her words, my chest tightening up and eyebrows furrowing. I didn't expect that from her, or rather, I didn't expect that kind of harshness.
But what she said next... it actually hurt something inside me.
"You're no fighter," She told me bluntly.
My frown grew further from that, and trying to hide the hurt in my voice, I replied, "Hey! What about those spiders I helped you fight?" I pointed out to her. "I killed one of them..."
She scoffed at me, arms crossed. "Yeah, you killed a baby spider, good for you. Big macho guy like yourself taking down a baby spider? That'll impress the ladies for sure." She rolled her eyes sardonically, making me grunt. Well, I guess it's canon that she has a mouth on her, jeez. "I don't need any help or companions, especially from one of your kind." With that she scoffed slightly, tail flicking around as she put her hands on her hips. "I don’t do teams... I work alone."
With that, she turned and left me alone, speechless and just a tiny bit hurt emotionally from the... I guess causal racism she threw at me. One of my kind? The fuck does she mean by that?
I watched as she made her way down the road. I sighed as Snowdrop landed next to me on the ground. cooing quietly. "Well... damn, and here I thought we were gonna have this awesome adventure together back to Equestria." I was hoping for something awesome on our journey, but I guess you can't win them all. After all, I doubt this would go like those happy go lucky stories I always read she did raise a decent point.
Human goes to Equestria, easily makes friends with the Mane Six, gets with the mare/stallion of his/her dreams through some minor dramatic tension, save Equestria from some great calamity, start a family and live happily when they learn they can't go home. Instead, it went more along the lines of, get thrown into a hot ass desert, meet a hot mare, get insulted, get ass kicked, and split up near the end.
Knowing my luck, if I did go on an epic adventure, I'd probably end up dying at some point, becoming nothing more than dust in the wind.
Well... even if I die, I'll still linger on as dust, eheh. I chuckled to myself as I looked towards the town. I guess this ends my journey with Daring Do and the adventure in general, as sad as I am I won't get to adventure with her anymore, I would hopefully have another adventure. Everything is and can be an adventure, even something so small as heading to a train station and heading to who knows where.
That was an adventure in of itself.
Cracking my knuckles, I watched as Daring's form disappeared over the hills and leaving me alone at last. I pondered yelling to her and wishing her luck on her journey... but after how she kinda bitched at me, I wasn't so sure now. I was genuinely sad at how she treated me... and by the time I had come to a decision, Daring was already gone.
I sighed, a little pang in my chest before I turned to the town.
Guess it's onward to Equestria, and being subject to the causal naive nature of the Equestrian race, Daring was the sole exception so far.
I made my way down the hillside road and into town, allowing my thoughts to wander to Daring Do. I was gonna miss her... miss her badly, actually, despite the insults. She helped me out when I first got here, granted I didn't have any clue what could have happened to me if I hadn't found her, but I'll always appreciate the help she did give me. She was so salty to me after the gorge, treating me like I was... I dunno, something bad. She certainly had a thing against me, that or a thing against humans in general. That made me curious as well, I wonder why she's like that?
Could it have something to do with the other humans she's met? Hmm... probably won't find out if that is the case, I'd have to ask her if we ever met up again, but I don't think she'd be too happy with me going after her and pestering her with questions like, Ayyyy gurl, why u so salty about meh?
Upon arriving near the outskirts of the town, I found it was rather small looking, probably just a short stop for travelers looking to explore the lands around them. Miners, prospectors and the like, kinda like a western town... hell, this place looked like something out of a western movie. Tumbleweeds, pretty mares in renegade and saucy outfits, cowboys... cowstallions? A couple of shops selling goods, I even saw a legit saloon nearby and saw a pony get tossed out through the door with a yell before he landed in a puddle of water, along with some yells from the people inside to stay the hell out.
Huh... so the concept of hell was something that existed here? Interesting.
But back onto the bar thing, I feel like that's a trope that's used a lot in most fiction. New guy comes to town, sees a bar and almost immediately someone gets thrown out of it.
I ignored it in favor of heading for the train, which I guessed would be heading to... Equestria?
I had no clear idea actually, but from what Daring said, I guess it was headed there.
Once I passed through town and arrived on the platform, Snowdrop perched herself on the sign in front of me which I took a gander at, it had the train schedule and the clock, and...
...Fuck me, it was in another language?! I saw the numbers were odd looking little symbols, intricate swirls and such that escaped my mind's archives of familiar symbols I knew of from games. And the words on the train schedule board, if that's even what this was, told me nothing. I had no idea what time was for what train or where this particular train went. For all I knew this train was headed for the Crystal Empire, Yakyakistan, or some other place entirely!
Damn it all to hell!
I’m working on the assumption this train does go to Appaloosa and then to Ponyville... if I'm in the far south, or the north? The map of Equestria came to mind and I remembered that most of the desert was to the south
But should I head directly to Ponyville? That seems to be the go-to destination for most fans of the show who end up in the world of MLP in those stories for very obvious reasons.
Who wouldn’t want to head there immediately to meet the pony of their dreams and possibly get with them? It was like one of those things on the very top of the list!
And while I would absolutely love to meet my waifus right now and see where things go, I'm not sure heading there right now would be such a good idea. It wasn't that I didn't want to, it was more along the lines of; I should probably be more careful about this situation and how I handled it. An odd thing I'm sure, most people would head there right away without a second thought! But I had my own reasons for giving this one.
Daring was kinda hostile towards me, not outwardly to the point she would physically attack but... more verbally than anything else. I thought before taking a seat on the bench nearby and taking a moment to gather my thoughts on the situation. The Caribou were understandably pissed at me, if they hold grudges they might try hunting me down for revenge, maybe? As for the others... most people here aren't paying much attention to me aside from the curious glances. I looked up subtly, making a show of scratching my head as I glanced around me. I saw a few normal looking characters looking at me with looks of both interest and subdued hostility. Nobody here looks like they'd attack me, but they do look like they're not entirely accepting of someone like me. Is it because I'm human? I shook my head, taking off my hat and giving it a shake before placing it back atop my messy dark brown hair and going over to the ticket booth.
Once I arrived I saw a peppy looking minotaur glance at me and he gave me a smile. An actual welcome sight for once. "Ah, a human? Haven't seen one of your kind in quite some time!" He chuckled and then, to my utter shock, said, "Wohin möchten Sie heute gehen?"
I blinked a couple of times at the out of nowhere language change. I held up a finger, the gears in my mind slowly turning and making me realize he was speaking German of all things. After a few moments I cleared my throat and spoke up, "I'm sorry... what?" I tilted my head towards him and he gave me a surprised expression. I didn't know much German, except the basics like hello, goodbye, yes and no... like every other language I've heard, I only knew the basic bitch shit.
The Minotaur smiled, "Oh, you speak Equestrian? That makes this so much easier... though that is strange, you're the first human I've met that speaks it... and so fluently too!" He chuckled, the easily seven foot tall ticket seller then said, "Are you visiting from your native homeland, friend?"
Well, he's friendly at least, I wonder if all Minotaurs are like that? "Uhh... yeah sure, let's go with that." I chuckled. Why did he speak German and why does he assume I'm from wherever humans live on this world? The questions just keep piling up. I shrugged my shoulders, I can get answers as to why that is later on... perhaps. Twilight might have books on the matter... oh wait, I can't read anything, fuck my ass! "Uhm... I guess I'm looking to head further into Equestria, maybe Appaloosa?" I hoped this train was headed there, if not I might be screwed.
"Ah yes, this train is headed there right now actually! It'll cost you ten Bits one way and fifteen bits for a round trip." He told me, and I was relieved to hear this train was going there. I fished out the appropriate amount and slid them over to him. Once he put them away, he printed out a ticket, looked it over and then handed it to me. "Here you are friend, I hope you have a safe journey north."
"Thanks." I nodded with a smile, taking my ticket and saying, "You have a good day."
"Thank you! You as well, my friend." He told me with a friendly smile before we parted ways, and I headed for the train.
He was pretty nice.
I gestured for my pet owl to follow after me as the train came into view. The train itself was a steam powered locomotive with a big engine at the front and colored iron black. About ten cars were attached to it, slowly filling with passengers. I could see a few souls climbing on board with luggage and what have ya, and once I reached the ticket master I held my ticket out. "Welcome on board, sir." He told me, giving me an odd look before ushering me on board with everyone else.
Once I was on the train, I saw it was rather modestly built from the inside. Made of simple wood and had enough seating to fit forty people comfortably in one car and had a rather nice view of the land from the windows. I bet once the train started moving, it'd be a damn fine view to watch whirling by. I walked into the car and then took a seat near the back next to a window as Snowdrop fluttered in through it. She sat on the seat next to me as I took my backpack off and sat it on the floor in front of me, sighing in relief at being off my feet.
The train whistled and I heard the gears clack and grind before we started moving. A few wandering souls quickly hopped on board, laughing a bit at something as I just leaned back, cap tilted back as I looked out the window from where I was comfortably sat down on my arse.
Off to Appaloosa I go... and eventually...
Equestria.
ooo000---000ooo
An hour along the tracks headed north and I was already bored out of my mind from waiting.
So after awhile, I had decided to delve back into my thoughts and think about stuff.
Leaving Daring had left me feeling kinda lonesome. While I did have Snowdrop with me, she wasn't much for small talk... or any talk at all really, a one-way conversation with a bird didn't really sound all that enticing. I had fun hanging out with the adventuring mare known as Daring Do, that chase when we first met up to the fight against the spiders was... exhilarating, and it awakened that sense of adventure deep within my soul. A spark had ignited a fire in my chest that made me want to go out and explore the world, meet people, have awesome stories under my belt. I wanted to fight monsters, find treasures, see what all there was to see while kicking ass and saving the day.
It sounded so awesome and yet, I couldn't help but think of how weak I was in terms of fighting. Sure I used a punching bag a lot and did some parkour whenever I could to try and work out and keep myself healthy... I just didn't feel like I would be a good fighter against most foes... maybe Daring was right.
Even though my name means warrior, I certainly don't feel like one. I started scratching my neck in thought as Daring's words ran around in my head. You're no fighter. She had told me, and that hurt like a wasp-sting. I took out that one tiny spider no problem, but it was apparently a baby, and we all know the hit points of baby monsters, they're gobshite and any noob with just his fists could take em out!
That bigger spider? Pfft... I bet I didn't even hurt it with my knife, I probably pissed it off more than anything.
Daring was right... I wasn't a fighter, I was just a pleb trying to be one.
I shook my head and did my best to shake away those self loathing thoughts that threatened to pop up. I was too a fighter! I just... I just needed to get better at it. I was good in a bar-brawl, but that was just for stupid fun! Ugh... focus on other shit. I looked out of the window and I wondered what I would do once I was in Appaloosa. I knew AJ's cousin was there, Braeburn, but would he help me out if I told him who and what I was? What to do... I could go home in a bit, maybe, assuming Twilight or the princesses could help me out. But can they? I didn't know if they had the ability to help me out in the sense I desired.
Only time would tell.
*Thunk*
I looked up with a snort and my eyes caught sight of a few caribou walking into the car from the front. I suddenly grew nervous, no way they were the ones from before that chased Daring and I around, were they? We had ditched them at the gorge, and I don't think they had gotten a good look at me. Just act natural. I thought, looking out the window and trying not to look out towards them.
I really hoped they were friendly ones just looking for adventure or something, and not a pair of thugs looking to cause trouble and bash my face in. My eyes caught a good look at them, and while they were pretty lanky compared to some of the caribou I thought about, I think I could take em on if it came down to a fight... maybe. I honestly thought they were all huge muscle bound dudes with dicks ready to be whipped out at a moment's notice, I was wrong however.
They walked past me, and I let out a tiny sigh of relief as they went into another one of the cars behind me.
Okay... all's good. I told myself, relaxing slightly in my seat and attempting to get some naps in for the trip, lord knows I needed it.
But all that shit went out the damn window when I heard a loud crash from the car behind me and then one of those caribou flew through the doors past me. He slid across the floor with a yell, both his antlers smashed beyond repair, he groaned in pain once he came to a stop at the front end of the aisle. Everyone looked confused, scared and shocked even. I leaned out of my seat and looked back to peer into the other car at what was happening. In there, I saw the other caribou trying to beat up a stallion, a rather old bearded one from the looks of it who looked furiously towards them.
Just ignore it... just ignore it... Just go to sleep... sleep away the troubles, don't get involved... Fuck... I tried to ignore it. Emphasis on tried.
But the nice guy in my heart forced me to stand up.
I groaned before I picked up my pack from the floor and threw it on. I moved into the next car like an idiot, making my way over and pushing the caribou off of the stallion. He stumbled back as I growled out, "Back off!" I growled at the thin caribou, who pulled out a knife as the stallion behind me stood stock still.
"A human? Your kind disgust me." The caribou growled as he twirled his knife, I just pulled out my own. Which I noted, was much bigger than his own little iron one, and no doubt sharper.
"Yeah, well... you have a bad attitude." I stuck my tongue out as I backed up, only to stumble as the train shook and nearly caused me to fall onto my ass. Before I could even wonder what that was, the old stallion behind me had grabbed me by the arms, wrenching me out of the way before he suddenly threw out his hands.
Only seconds passed before a blinding light flashed from them and an earth shattering explosion sent me flying back into the wall. My eyes were blinded, ears almost deafened as I heard the screech of metal against metal. Before I could even try to recover from my fall, another explosion went off and I felt air passing me by...
Oh wait...
Was I?
...Yep, air Dee is away!
"Ahhh crap!" I screamed out, doing my best to tuck and roll as I was sent flying off of the train. I don't even know how the fuck that happened, but I wasn't given much time to think. Thankfully the pain was lessened, I had gotten lucky enough to land in a bunch of sand, rolling hard and tumbling before I came to a stop against a large sand dune.
Perhaps not the softest thing around, but it certainly helped cushion my fall! I coughed violently once I smashed into the soft sand, my body aching and head spinning, I felt lightheaded as the click clack of the train leaving me behind filled the air and my ears.
Oh son of a bitch!
I furiously rubbed my eyes, trying to clear them of the blindness that had come from the flash. It went away after a furious amount of cursing. Once my eyes cleared up, I saw some flaming wreckage in the sand near the tracks, chunks of metal and wood sticking up, twisted and warped. The train was departing off into the horizon with a flaming caboose as well, leaving me and whoever fell out of the back from the explosion out in the desert.
I groaned before standing up, struggling not to fall back onto my arse like a pleb. I looked ahead of me and saw two bodies laying in the sand nearby, unmoving.
"Oi!" I cried out, but they didn't move.
With trepidation flowing through me like a bad night of drinking, I started forward.
I arrived to see the caribou with his head twisted all the way around to the point his flesh bulged slightly from the broken bone, making me frown slightly. That was a nasty looking injury, and he was dead as fuck. And looking to my right I saw the pony was on the ground, a blade hilt deep in his back and his eyes wide and unfocused, no light to be seen in them. I knelt down and held my hand near his muzzle, and felt no breath... I checked for a pulse, but he was gone out like a candle light.
Considering I'm in the presence of two dead bodies, one might have thought I'd be more disgusted or freaked out, cause... it's dead people.
And as dickish as it may sound coming from me, I'm basically just seeing two dead animals. I've seen a lot of gruesome roadkill in my time, including watching family pets die and having to bur them all. I'm just so... desensitized to the concept of death that it doesn't phase me that much, I guess?
Yeah... totally doesn’t make me a Gary Stu amirite? Or whatever, I don't fucking know.
Jeez... I thought to myself and looked around me.
I didn't see anyone else around, meaning it was just me and the bodies. I also didn't see any fliers in the skies, or towns nearby, nothing, not a single thing. I was in a barren wasteland with no one around. I shrugged before yanking the knife out of the stallion's back and giving it a look over. It was rusty, poorly maintained, and made of crap looking iron, so I tossed it aside. It wasn't any better than my knife and probably wouldn't fetch much, so it wasn't worth carrying. I patted down the body for anything else worthwhile, hopefully money or something.
Now, maybe you're wondering why I'm doing something so... disrespectful as this, looting the dead before they're even cold. Well, its survival and free loot, if I'm being blunt about it. They're both dead as a doornail, and they're not going to miss whatever they're carrying on their person. It would be of more use to me than anyone else right now. I'm sure if someone was here, they would probably bitch me out for doing something so horrible.
Well, I have something to tell them. Wasteland Rule Number 1: If you're dead, its mine now, no questions asked.
Simple and easy to follow.
I checked the stallion's pocket and found a small purse which had a decent sum of money in it. Enough to replace the funds I spent buying the ticket and then some, guess my train ride wasn't a complete loss. I also found another little bag strapped to his belt that I opened up, I expected to find some more money or something. But instead I found a ring... a really special looking ring that made me wonder if it was a magic one. It was a bright red ruby inset in a piece of black metal that formed a dragon's maw. The eyes were a pair of black pearls, and the teeth some kind of shiny silver gems cut and sharpened to look like fangs. If one put it on, it would face forward as its tail and body wrapped around your finger.
It honestly looked really cool. I nodded, looking it over before pocketing it. Maybe it's worth something, or it's magical and can help me out somehow. I checked the little bag again, seeing nothing and crumpling it up before pocketing it as well. I also took his belt, which was a pretty big one that I could use for something. I put it around my waist letting it hang off a bit over my other belt. The old stallion didn't have anything else, so I just closed his eyes and said, "Rest in piece dude, sorry for looting ya." With that, I went over to the caribou and did the same.
He had exactly jack shit. If fact, all he did have was a nasty smell on him that clung to his body like bad BO, and... well, being a dude myself I more or less knew what the smell was.
I left him alone and just stood up, sighing as I looked down the tracks and the way towards Appaloosa. I was an hour away from the town I had just come from and like a couple of days or so from Appaloosa.
Fuuuuuuuck. I groaned before sheathing my knife and looking for any sort of road... I didn't see one, so that meant I had to follow the tracks either back to the town and wait for another train to come and pick me up, or keep headed towards Appaloosa and hope I don't die of dehydration walking through the desert.
Or just screw the trip into Equestria and go somewhere else entirely.
Looking to the east I could see a few wispy looking mountains, tall ones that reached up super high into the skies beyond the clouds.
That looked pretty interesting.
I grinned and rubbed my hands together.
Let's go that'a way~ I decided as I saw Snowdrop flying towards me, with her finally back at my side we headed east.
I could have gone towards the north or headed back, but the mountains to the east were a callin' me.
Besides...
A little adventure never hurt anyone, right?
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The humans speak German, and think they're superior?... I cannazi how this will turn out. Let's just hope everything's alreich in this world.
DIS GETTING GOOD,NEED MORE!
Well, Daring do is an adventurer, so it dosen't surprise me she's a good fighter. You need more than that to impress someone like her.
Hmmm... german...live across the ocean....everyone hates them...... am i the only one geting a Nazi vibe from this?
German!?
But why!? 
Wait Daring also has a personal history against Humans. And these humans seem to have a nasty reputation, even if there are some that bother to know their language. And all humans speak German in this Equestria.......
No.....
It isn't possible.
It can't be....
NO!
IT'S THE FUCKING-
Somehow the fucking Nazi's built themselves a portal to Equestria back the 40's! Motherfucker! Damn Nazi super PULP MAGAZINE SCIENCE!!!!
can you put jello in your panties?
Wow Daring, prejudice much? Pulling everyone of one species over one edge because of a bad misshap or several ain't the pony way, where's the love, harmony and understanding gurl?
8300380
Good to know im not the only one geting a Nazi vibe from this
8301013
u know exactly what i said
dont feign ignorance
PUT JELLO IN YOUR PANTIES
8301151
wait sec your not even the person i told to put jello in their panties
get outta here
8300637
Probably somewhere in Zebrica with the corpses of those that have betrayed her. Probably.
8300752
Yes, the fucking Nazi's!
8299677
I will neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a group. 
8300120
8300380
8299694
Mmm... a good theory
8299865
Hell yeah~
8300105
Perhaps she had some skills shown in the show, but in this, she was moving pretty fast, born and bred like a fighter~
Indeed she's a good fighter. He didn't know that however.
8300208
*nod nod*
8300439
i-is that your fe-fetish?
I mean... if I bought some I probably could... why though?
8300637
What 8302197 said, probably somewhere around there
Thanks everyone for the comments, favs and so on, you guys are what's keeping this story moving
So stay tuned till this Saturday like always! And we'll have another new chapter to get through! Love you all lots! 
8303368
Indeed.
8303368
its not my fetish
just want you to do it
so DO IT
JUST DO IT
8303368
it doesn't have to be nazis
there were plenty of times the germans decided to be world-conquering assholes.
Adverage fallout quote