• Published 17th Nov 2016
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The Mask Makes the Pony - kudzuhaiku



Flicker Nicker has joined the Rat Catcher's Guild. He's rather good at it, but wants to be better.

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Chapter 61

Night Light was sipping tea and Flicker just held his teacup. The colt was having a hard time internalising everything that Night Light had said about the trials of adolescence. It seemed that Flicker was in for a rough time, as Night Light painted quite a chaotic picture. Unicorns had it rough when entering puberty, as their thaumaturgical systems also had to mature, and those were connected to the very glands that caused puberty to happen.

As such, magical senses, such as Flicker’s own rat-sense, might have an exaggerated effect. Telekinesis became erratic at times. Even worse, magic had a strong connection to a pony’s sexuality, and the release of one could cause the release of the other. The entire thing sounded just dreadful and Flicker saw very little hope for the future. Puberty was a time for despair.

It was a talk that his own mother and father couldn’t give him, as they were not unicorns and not at all versed in thauma-biology. Flicker’s teacup trembled and he did all that he could to steady it, but to no avail. It continued to tremble in his grasp and he worried that he might drop it.

“If I am to understand everything correctly, you have an interest in Hennessy, correct?”

A hot, prickling heat crept up Flicker’s neck as he nodded.

Smiling, his eyes full of merry mischief, Night Light chortled a bit, then said, “Remember, when experimenting, to apply lots of lubrication—”

The teacup in Flicker’s telekinesis almost fell again.

“—as the judicious application of lubrication turns a lubrican’t situation into a lubrican. Remember, nopony likes friction burns.”

Blinking, Flicker’s mind fled down into the basement to ride out the storm, where it was immediately set upon by the Id and violated by the indescribable, unspeakable horrors that lurked in the recesses of Flicker’s brain. The colt sat there, blank faced, unable to laugh or even respond to Night Light’s most terrible joke.

“Somewhere in there, there has to be a sense of humour.” Night Light’s eyebrow arched and he studied the colt with vacant eyes right beside him. “You are too tightly wound, Flicker. It’s not natural for a pony to never laugh or smile. Even Twilight, for all of her seriousness, laughs on a regular basis.”

“I just don’t find anything funny,” Flicker replied as parts of his brain recovered.

“Hmm.” Night Light took a sip of tea and his brows furrowed into deep creases, making him look older. He continued to study Flicker and the middle-aged stallion drew in a deep breath, which he held for several seconds. Then, letting it all out, he said, “I think this is temporary. I think that, in time, you shall be fine. I think that your friends will help you find your smile. In the meantime, I’m going to help you get a passing grade and I’ll do what I can to help you through what is sure to be a trying day. Drink up, we have a lot to do.”


A strange, contradictory feeling of calm restlessness now filled Flicker as he studied with Night Light. Hennessy and Piper had joined him in study and a pleasant, reassuring near-silence filled the room. Hennessy was a bit distracting, Flicker found himself looking at him, but that was okay. It was all okay. Because, puberty. At least there was a reason.

There was a rough femininity to Hennessy that appealed to Flicker and he allowed himself to experience the distraction for all that it was worth, oblivious to Night Light’s soft, knowing smile. There was now a rational excuse for Flicker’s irrational behaviour… puberty, and he was relieved that he could now just let certain things slide.

While staring at Hennessy, Flicker realised that he was as ready as he would ever be and that now was the time to take his dreaded candle exam. Any further study would just be delaying the inevitable. It was time to pony up and tackle this problem, not with brute force, but with care and attention.

“I’m ready,” Flicker announced.

Pulling his head back, Night Light studied the colt for a few seconds before replying, “Are you certain?”

“It’s time to do this.” Flicker swallowed, now no longer feeling quite so certain, but he decided to go with his initial feeling. “I think I’ll feel better once I get this out of the way. One less thing to worry about.”

“Very well.” Night Light gave Flicker a nod. “I’ll go and fetch Wicked and then we’ll meet you in the laboratory.”

Leaping out of her chair, Piper scrambled to her hooves. “We’re coming, there is no way we’re letting him face this alone. Come on, Mister Walker, laziness does not become you, get up!”

“Aw, shucks.” Hennessy’s cheeks puffed as he huffed and got to his hooves. “Asterius worked me almost to death yesterday and I’m feeling it today.” Once on his hooves, Hennessy gave himself a shake and then kicked each one of his legs in turn to get the kinks out. “My back…” There was a crackling sound as Hennessy flexed his spine and the earth pony colt closed his eyes. “Ah, that feels better.”


The laboratory was a little chilly and the ventilation system thrummed as air moved through it. A number of ponies were gathered to watch, both young and old, masters and apprentices. Some of the older apprentices watching had taken the test, some had not. Flicker, young as he was, had excelled in his alchemy studies to reach this point.

Wicked stood near, his face pensive and wizened. He shifted his weight away from his wooden leg, glanced at Night Light, and then returned his watchful eyes to Flicker, who was just now beginning his test. Nopony had gone screaming through alchemical studies and taken this test at Flicker’s age, and even with his failings, Flicker was good at this. He showed a great deal of promise, his careful, meticulous nature lent itself well to alchemy. The colt’s natural fearlessness allowed him to work with volatile materials without panic.

If Flicker passed his test, he would begin advanced alchemical studies, something that most in the guild began when they were adults, or near adults. Wicked’s eyes shifted and he gave Night Light, who stood beside him, a sidelong glance.

In a low whisper, Wicked said, “I’d bet my good front leg that Mister Nicker ends up with a doctorate in alchemy.”

“I don’t know,” Night Light replied, “perhaps. He’d have to be pushed in that direction, it’s outside of his focus.”

“Then I’ll shove ‘im along—”

“Wicked, old friend, I wouldn’t push him too hard, he’ll push back.”

Blinking, Wicked bit down on his lip and watched as Flicker arranged everything around him, organising his workspace and making certain that everything was just so. “Nighty, ‘e makes mistakes, but they’re the right mistakes. We just need to snap ‘im out of his damn over-focused state and ‘e’d be brilliant.”

Nodding, Night Light agreed in silence.

Lowering his voice even more, Wicked continued, “Forget the rats for a moment and think about what the wee lad could make for war. This is why ‘e needs pushing. A mind like that can’t go to waste. Our enemies wouldn’t know what hit ‘em.”

“Wicked—”

“Just sayin’, Nighty.”

“Best to let it drop for now, Wicked…”


Sweating, doing his best to ignore his creeping mental fatigue, Flicker looked down at what he had accomplished. Several candles had been made. He wasn’t very good at alchemy and he wasn’t very good at candlemaking. His candles were a little lumpy, a bit crooked, and looked awful. He was, however, confident that this time, they would work.

Alchemy was his worst subject and the one that he had to work the hardest at. It was the subject that was the most taxing upon his mind; history was easy, fencing wasn’t hard at all, reading and writing were no trouble, arithmetic wasn’t too bad, but alchemy was the worst because it forced him to be creative. For Flicker, that was the most difficult thing to do. He liked the part of alchemy that was formulas, the sensible parts that followed rules and obeyed a sense of order, the chemistry aspect was great; but the magical side of things where chaos was introduced gave him fits.

The testing bay was already filled with rats, who huddled in the dark corners, trying to escape notice. Flicker’s eyes glittered with hatred when he looked at them and he was relieved that soon, so very soon, all of them would be dead, so very dead. Well, that is if he did well with his candles. Doing well had its own reward.

He opened the testing bay, placed a candle down in the middle of it, and closed the lid. Drawing in a deep breath, he prepared himself for whatever happened next, success or failure. His frogs were sweaty and the little hollow beneath his dock drove him to distraction, as he had a dreadful urge to somehow reach back there and begin biting at himself to relieve the painful itch.

Worst of all, his ears had started ringing and there was now a terrible pressure right behind his eyes that made his skull throb. He blinked a few times as he stared down at the candle and with a flick of his magic, he lit the wick, which sputtered a bit before finally producing a greasy looking flickering flame.

The candle did nothing for a time, but then began to release a gas. It was like heat shimmering on the road, colourless, invisible, but it blurred the air. One by one, the rats in the corners stiffened, then began moving towards the candle, compelled by some unseen force. So far, so good. Flicker was astounded by his own success so far. Other than a bit of a delay in the beginning, it was working.

As expected, the candle sizzled and the flame changed colour, now burning an unpleasant bluish-green with ghastly yellowish flickers. The gas took on a pale yellow colour and the flame, sputtering, almost went out. Flicker’s balls were now in his throat, crammed in tight with his beating heart.

The rats, called forth by the mesmerising gas and held in hypnosis by the flickering flame, did nothing as the yellowish gas billowed around them, and that was when things went wrong. The gas was only supposed to kill them, but Flicker saw the undeniable evidence that he had made a mistake.

One by one, the rats began melting like wax as the yellowish gas smothered them. Eyes dribbled from sockets, ears melted off, little fuzzy faces slid off of little bloodied skulls. The rats writhed in the dreadful gas and each of them became puddles of goo, sloughed off wads of skin, bits of fur, and bone. Flicker’s ears perked and pivoted around, trying to home in on the source as the sounds of retching filled the laboratory. Several apprentices vomited on the floor, while others fled the room, gagging and coughing.

His heart sinking down into his bowels, Flicker prepared to deal with the consequences of failure…


“That’ll turn me off of my lunch,” Wicked remarked in brusque tones as he looked inside of the testing bay at the rat puddles. “By the alicorns, what a bloody mess!” Wicked coughed and watched as one of the rat puddles bubbled, almost as if it was boiling. “Fine work, Flicker.”

“But… I failed.”

Wicked inhaled and looked down at the colt looking up at him. “And what makes you think that?”

“The results aren’t the same… I don’t know what happened… I did everything right!” Flicker stammered.

“Flicker, calm down.” Night Light came forward and with a soft touch, he tried to calm the colt down. “Alchemy will never be a perfect science. Alchemical reagents always, always react to the alchemist. Your own special magic infused with your reagents to produce this result. Everything worked just the way it was meant to.”

“I… I… I don’t understand.” Flicker sat down on the floor, turned his head, and looked over at the testing bay, which was still filled with swirling gas. “Why can’t it just be perfect and do what is expected?”

“Lad, for a colt that just passed ‘is candle exam, ye look awful glum.” Wicked turned away from the bubbling rat soup in the testing bay and shuddered.

“But it wasn’t perfect and predictable!” Flicker shouted, the volume of his voice rising. “They weren’t like yours at all!”

“No, those candles are unmistakably yours.” Night Light’s voice was gentle and kind. “They worked exactly as intended. They worked perfectly, as your candles.

“But—”

“No buts, Lad. Alchemy is what it is.” Wicked glanced over at Hennessy and Piper, then back down at Flicker. “Ye deserve a bit of downtime. Go off with yer friends. Maybe get out for a bit. Go for a walk. Clear your ‘ead. Even if ye ain’t 'appy with yer own results, ye passed.”

Looking crestfallen, Flicker nodded.

“Blow off some steam, Lad, and ye’ll feel better.” Wicked gave Flicker a proud smile. “Go on, get! I’ll clean up ‘ere, I don’t mind. Get out of ‘ere!”

“Congratulations, Flicker.” Night Light helped Flicker get back up on his hooves. “We’ll talk later today. You did well. Alchemy gives Twilight fits as well, as she expects perfect, predictable results. You did very well and I look forward to working with you in advanced alchemical studies.”

Unable to muster up a response, Flicker nodded.

Author's Note:

:trollestia: - Slick.

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