- Member Since 29th Jun, 2012
- offline last seen Mar 16th, 2023
Firefox69
My secondary account so I can upload stories here as well. Head on over to fanfiction.net for my primary under the same name as that profile will be updated first and this one second.
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Keep it comin'!
are they humanized?
837021
First chapter, first paragraph.
Go check that out.
837021
Check the tags. The fifth one says "human" so yes.
837429>>837776 umm ok i didnt read it yet but i thought it might be a HiE.
Alright well have fun reading it! Sorry if I sounded sarcastic I didn't realize you hadn't read it yet.
And I now have eye cancer ha no joking it's not that bad might have went partially blind though
838356
Why? Did I make a mistake somewhere or do something wrong? If so, please tell me so that I may correct it.
839777 now I'm not meaning any Insult but it would be a bit longer like say at least 1000 words
840359
Alright thanks I am trying to write longer chapters but on 5 for example I wanted to have a clean break between the discovery and use of spike's power and his date with Dinky which definitely won't be happening in the upcoming chapter.
wait i thought dinky was a unicorn
i dont know about the beginning where twi and the others catch rainbow and jack in the act i thought i dont know
873806
She is and that will eventually manifest when she uses magic but so far it is her first time in 6 so I am trying to avoid major kink for her until later instances. plus Spike just hasn't seen her use magic yet.
My responses: DAAWWWWWWWWW at non antro afterimage
, and at the clop:giggity gittity goo
.
good chapter, the writhing should be worked on a little more but othervise its pretty good, you have deserved my thumb and fave
i was relly wieded out in the start but its good
dammit, now i have to wait
Thanks for all of the comments everypony. I read every one of them and while I may not respond I do listen to good advice, so if you see a problem with the grammar or something else leave a comment and I will do better next chapter!
As before, after image dawww.
To the people that downvote the story: Please tell why at the very least. The more you tell me and the more CLEARLY you tell me, the better a story I can write in the future.
I'm with honorwolf I thought she was a unicorn
1491396
She IS a unicorn filly. It's just she doesn't have very good control of her magic, why does everyone insist on thinking she isn't a unicorn? If it's about her looking into the clubhouse, it's because she was delivering a plate of cookies for Rarity and got curious when the trapdoor wouldn't open, and you know what? I'll just go rewrite the chapter since it's causing so much confusion. What parts made you think she wasn't a unicorn?
Dinky is a unicorn. And make sure you capitalize all names, I spotted a twilight instead of Twilight.
This feels rushed, and it is easy to get lost in the first couple paragraphs. I will continue reading this, however!
"Spike is having his first crush." False. His first crush is Rarity.
Well... the story seems to be picking up a bit but it will be nice to see you use more than one PoV but good none of the least
Ok... so I didn't see that coming it was so....
anyway the one that I have to say is when you trying to show someone thinking you use Italic for that.
well now its getting good. Keep it up and how about a threesome
2324132
writing a side project, and I lack a keyboard right now, but I'm thinking about rebooting this with a more manipulative ''Secret Of My Excess" Spike, maybe it'd be more popular with non-anthro, but folks won't tell me how they feel about it.
2177215 the author may have made spike's crush on rarity non existant for the story.
I know how to get girls now! I need to become a dragon! But how so?
6058170
There are easier ways to get girls.
I diagnose this with dead