The Ditzy Diary of a Certain Pegasus

by TooShyShy

Adolescence (Part 3)

Dear Diary,

I’m finally back in Canterlot. To be honest, I didn’t realize I even missed this place until I saw my dorm room again. It’s great to be back. I feel like I’m home.

Apparently the break was extended because two of the instructors unexpectedly quit! The headmistress made an announcement about it.

Since me and Bon-Bon were late getting back, we had to catch up on some of the assignments. We have to write an essay about the history of magic use in cooking. We also have to come up with a completely original omelet recipe that’s fancy enough for one of those uptight restaurants. It’s going to be a tough week, but I’m still not unhappy I’m back.

I can’t wait to talk to Time Turner. I’ve missed having lunch with him.

I’d better go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow to visit the library for my essay.

---

Dear Diary,

Today’s lunch was eventful. I didn’t get to meet up with Time Turner like I usually do, which was a bummer. But I barely even noticed it because of who I got to have lunch with instead. Lyra and Bon-Bon!

Bon-Bon usually picks Lyra up for lunch and it’s just the two of them, but this time Bon-Bon said I could tag along. The school Lyra goes to is called Honey Haze’s School of the Paranormal. Well, it’s not a school exactly. It’s more like a big building with three rooms and no desks. It’s kind of cozy.

All through lunch, Lyra talked about all the cool paranormal stuff she learned from Honey Haze. She told me about a ton of scary creatures that nopony knows exist.

When I told Lyra about how two instructors at the cooking school quit, she said it was probably because of a ghost. I’d never even considered that! Lyra said that if it’s a ghost, somepony needs to get rid of it before it wreaks havoc. She said ghosts are totally unreasonable and almost always malevolent. I don’t believe that. I bet if there is a ghost, he or she is just lonely. When I told Lyra that, she said the ghost would be less lonely if we sent it back to the ghost realm so it could be with its friends. I’m happy the ghost has friends. I bet he or she is sad that they’re stuck here where nopony will talk to them.

We’re going to hold something called a séance this weekend. I’m excited. I’ve never talked to a ghost before. What do ghosts talk about? I hope they like cupcakes. I’m going to bring one for them. Do ghosts even eat? Well, I’m sure they’ll appreciate the gesture even if they can’t eat it.

I haven’t seen Hot Cakes too much. He hasn’t been avoiding me and Bon-Bon exactly, but he’s been hanging out with a group of ponies neither of us know. I’m glad he’s started to make some more friends.

I’d better get to work on that omelet recipe. I’d also better find a good cupcake recipe for the séance!

---

Dear Diary,

I got to eat lunch with Time Turner today. I meant to talk to him about the letter he sent me, but I got sidetracked. I told him about the séance as soon as we sat down. That was a bad idea! He started talking about how ghosts aren’t real and how seances are ridiculous and only foolish ponies believe in them.

Am I a foolish pony? I know I’m not the smartest mare in the barn, but am I stupid for thinking ghosts might be real? Time Turner seemed so sure that ghosts don’t exist. And if he doesn’t believe in them, what are the chances they could be real anyway?

I’m still doing the séance though. I even invited Time Turner along. He laughed, but he said he’d come because it was obviously a big deal to me. I kind of hope I prove him wrong. Time Turner’s great, but he always seems to think he knows everything.

Does Time Turner think I’m stupid? I feel like he underestimates me just because I don’t go to one of those fancy schools for smart ponies. I know I’m not smart enough to get into one of those schools. Even if I was, I would still have chosen cooking school. I don’t want to be a scholar or a teacher or whatever ponies from those schools become. I just want to be Derpy Hooves, Master Chef.

---

Dear Diary,

Me and Bon-Bon went out shopping for the séance today. Bon-Bon’s never done one before either, but Lyra gave us a list of things we needed. We had to buy a whole bunch of parchment, some quills, and something Lyra called a “weegee board”. To be honest, I’m starting to get nervous. I mean, what if the ghost is real and it doesn’t like what we’re doing? How do you fight a ghost if it tries to hurt you? If you hurt or kill a ghost by accident, do you get in trouble? I want to ask Lyra all of these questions. On the other hoof, I don’t think Lyra knows as much about it as she seems to.

The weegee board was hard to find. We had to go to this really creepy store on the edge of Canterlot that sold all kinds of weird stuff. There were amulets and shrunken heads and even animal skeletons. I don’t think I like that place. Bon-Bon assured me that all of it was probably fake, but I don’t know. Those shrunken heads looked pretty real.

The séance is in two days, so I’m trying not to worry too much about it. I’m more concerned with the omelet recipe. I’ve written about five drafts by now. They’re all good, but I feel like they’re all missing something. Maybe they’re all just too normal? I want to really wow the instructor with something they’ve never tasted before. I need to think bigger.

In about two weeks’ time, the whole school is going on a special trip. We’re going to travel across Equestria visiting restaurants and reviewing them. We’re going to be like critics! Most of the restaurants are in Canterlot or Manehattan. I hope I can say hello to Peaceful Skies, Button Nose, and Avalon while I’m in Manehattan. I’m going to surprise them with a visit if I can.

Well, I need to get back to my omelet recipe. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to getting it right. I just need to believe in myself!

---

Dear Diary,

We had the séance tonight. I almost put it off because I wanted to put the finishing touches on my omelet recipe. It was a lot more interesting than I expected it to be.

We held the séance in the room I share with Bon-Bon. Lyra made the room really spooky. All the lights were out and there were candles everywhere. We all had to sit on the floor in a circle around the weegee board. Even though he obviously doesn’t believe in all this ghost stuff, I could tell Time Turner was scared. I was too.

Lyra had a book that told us what to do. We had to place our hooves on the weegee board, then we closed our eyes and hummed. Lyra said that if a spirit was nearby, it would be attracted to our hums and start moving the pointer thing. Then we could ask it questions and we had to write down the answers it gave.

First Lyra asked “Is there an unseen creature here with us right now?” or something like that. And then the pointer thing started to move under our hooves! It scared us so much that we all screamed. I kept my hooves on it even though I was shaking, but Lyra freaked out. She took her hooves off the pointer and picked up the board in her magic. I tried to stop her, but she threw it against the wall and it was completely ruined. I’ve never seen Lyra look so frightened before. It was even scarier than the ghost. I thought she was used to this kind of thing.

I wish this entry was longer, but that was pretty much it for the séance. I’m still shaking, so I’m trying my best to forget about what happened. Is the ghost still there? Is it haunting this room right now? Having a séance was a bad idea.

I almost forgot to mention Hot Cakes! Its been so long since I talked to him. He left a note for us saying that he still thought of us as friends, but he’d made a ton of new friends and doesn’t think he has the time to hang out with us anymore. I’m happy for him. I hope his new friends are as nice as Bon-Bon and me.

It’s late, but I’d better get down to the kitchens and test out my new recipe. It’s not exactly what I was going for, but I don’t have much of a choice. I just hope I get a passing grade.

---

Dear Diary,

I didn’t make it to the kitchens last night. I told myself I’d close my eyes for two minutes, but when I opened them it was morning and I was late for class. Not a good start to the day. Fortunately, it got a lot better.

First of all, no ghost sightings or weird noises. I’m having a hard time believing what happened at the séance wasn’t a dream.

Since I was late, I was the last to get my omelet evaluated. I was so nervous and sleepy that I kept tripping over things and spilling things. I must have made a terrible impression. But what’s great is that once I started cooking, it was like I’d gotten a full night’s sleep. I actually managed to get through the entire thing without burning the omelet. I ended up passing, although I got some points taken away because of how clumsy I was. At least the instructor was impressed!

I realized what my recipe was missing. It was okay when I tasted it and the instructor said it was alright, but I now know what it was missing. There was no pizzazz. If there’s one thing Mrs. Cake taught me, it’s that food is more than recipes. I need to use my imagination. As the saying goes, “A pegasus who doesn’t stretch their wings will never learn how to fly”. I know I already passed so I don’t have to worry about it anymore, but I think I’m going to start improving my recipe. I’m going to try to make it even better than it was before, even if I’m not getting anything for it. It’s not enough for my teachers to think I’m a good chef. I need to know I can think outside the box.

I had lunch with Time Turner again. We talked a lot about the séance. He kept saying that it was all a mind thing. He said that our subconscious was moving the pointer or something like that. Personally, I think Lyra might have been playing a trick. She was trying to scare us.

I confronted Lyra, but she insisted everything that happened was real. I don’t know what to think. Seeing as nothing weird as happened, I’m going to assume the ghost had gone back to wherever it lives. I’m happy for it if that’s the case. Even a malevolent spirit deserves a home and friends.

Bon-Bon talked to the headmistress today. She found out the instructors left because they were offered jobs at some exclusive restaurants in Canterlot. Their leaving had nothing to do with a ghost anyway. So much for holding a séance.

I’m probably going to have nightmares tonight. Oh well. At least with the weegee board gone, the ghost can’t talk to us again.

---

Dear Diary,

The trip is in a week. I’ve spent most of my spare time putting the finishing touches on my omelet recipe. I’m kind of tired of eating omelets several times a day, but I swear I’m going to perfect this recipe. I hope my other assignments don’t suffer too badly. The last essay I turned in was only passable.

Mrs. Cake wrote me a letter. It was just a general update telling me how things are still fine in Ponyville. She also sent me a muffin recipe she thinks I should try. It’s an easy one, but I have a feeling I’m going to fail the first few times.

The closer the trip gets, the more I wonder if I even want to return to Manehattan. I should want to, right? It’s where I spent so much of my foalhood. It’s where most of my family lives. But I feel like if I’m there even for a day, I’ll get so sad about having left that I won’t want to return to cooking school. I left so many memories behind. I want to pick up where I left off, but I know I can’t. Maybe some day I’ll return there for good.

I have two essays to finish and some recipes to practice. I might not be writing for a while.

---

Dear Diary,

The first part of the trip is today. We’re starting with a bunch of restaurants in Canterlot. We’re supposed to rate them based mainly on the food, but we also have to weigh in on the service. I’m nervous. I feel like I should be dressed up. Most of these places are so fancy and expensive I normally wouldn’t be able to afford to even stand outside. We don’t have to look professional or anything, but I decided to do something a little different. I put my mane in a ponytail and Bon-Bon let me borrow an old pair of glasses she used to wear. I poked the lenses out so I would stop bumping into things, but I don’t think anypony is going to notice. I hope I look like a real critic.

That’s about it for now. I’ll write again tonight when I have time.

---

Dear Diary,

We went to four restaurants today (one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for dessert). Most of them were serving pretty much the same food. All of the portions were so small! The food was prepared in a really nice way though. Everything looked more like an art piece than something we were supposed to eat. I feel a little sorry for the chefs. They probably spend thirty minutes making this food look like art and then somepony just gobbles it up.

I tried to vary the way I said it, but I basically just wrote “Good presentation, tastes nice” for every one. I wish I had more to say about them, but none of them stood out to me. Well, there were a few places that stood out to me. But Hazel (she’s the instructor in charge of the trip) walked us right past them. When I asked, she said those places weren’t fancy enough. But the smells coming from them made my mouth water! So many exotic spices and vegetables.

I know I was supposed to be reviewing the food, but once I realized everything was probably going to taste about the same, I decided to work more on revising my omelet recipe. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I’m trying too hard. I keep trying to rewrite the recipe with ingredients that sound fun, like chocolate chips or beet juice, then I realize that that would probably taste awful. Omelets are such an easy dish to make and there are literally millions of variations for toppings, but everything I come up with is either too ridiculous or too bland. How do I make my omelet really pop?

Tomorrow we’re going to be touring some more restaurants in Canterlot, then it’s off to Manehattan. It’ll be nice to see the city again.

I’d better get to sleep. I have to get up even earlier than usual tomorrow.

---

Dear Diary,

It was more of the same today. We kept passing by restaurants that looked interesting so we could visit ones serving pretty much the same food.

I’m starting to like this ponytail and glasses thing. I feel like everypony is treating me differently because of it. Maybe that’s my imagination. I sure feel different at least. I feel a lot smarter and more aware of things. Is this what ponies who wear glasses feel like all the time? I had no idea I was missing out.

I know I said that the restaurants were serving basically the same things, but that isn’t one hundred percent true. The desserts were pretty unique and creative. The chefs really went out of their way when it came to making them visually appealing and delicious. In the last place we went to, I actually had a lot to say about the cake. It was about seven feet high and everypony got a big piece of it. I wish I could make something like that.

Other than everything I mentioned before, nothing much happened today. Well, except Lyra. She tagged along for the trip, even though she doesn’t go to this school. She said she likes free food and would never pass up on an opportunity for a whole day of it. Lyra said she might be going with us to Manehattan as well because she’s never been. I don’t know how she’ll get away with it, but I hope she does.

It’s about time I went to bed. I’m so excited I might not be able to sleep for a while. I can’t wait to surprise Peaceful Skies and everypony else.

---

Dear Diary,

Manehattan is just as great as I remember it being! It was like I’d only been gone a day. All of the buildings I remember are still there. I even recognized some of the ponies, although I couldn’t remember their names. The moment I stepped off the carriage, it was like I was a filly again. I remember the first time I ever stepped hoof in this place. It feels so recent, yet so much has happened since then.

I didn’t have time to see Peaceful Skies and everypony else like I was going to. I was too busy showing Lyra and Bon-Bon all of my favorite places. We arrived late in the afternoon, so we got the day off to do whatever we wanted. I took Lyra and Bon-Bon to my favorite store, the pet supply shop where I bought food for Claws, and the one museum Peaceful Skies took me to once. Mostly the three of us walked around and took pictures. Even though I lived in Manehattan so long, there were still some places I never got around to visiting.

We had dinner at that diner that reminds me of the one in Cloudsdale. The food wasn’t as good as I remembered it, but I still ordered seconds.

Today went faster than I wanted it to. I was genuinely surprised to learn it was near midnight. We all had to rush back to the hotel we were staying at. Hazel yelled at us for being so late.

Tomorrow is going to be the best day. I can just feel it!

---

Dear Diary,

The restaurants in Manehattan are so much different than those in Canterlot. They’re all so diverse. The taste of the food actually varied from place to place. Most of the restaurants had their own unique theme, like “griffon cuisine re-imagined for ponies”. Some of them had food that wasn’t very nice, but I didn’t mind. I’m sure they’re all trying their best.

The best restaurant we went to today was one called “The Dragon’s Dungeon”. The place claimed to serve “authentic dragon cuisine based on ancient lost recipes”, but Bon-Bon thinks it was a gimmick. Even if it was, the food was great. My only disappointment was that none of the staff were dragons.

It made my wonder: If I ever open a theme restaurant, what will the theme be? Maybe it’ll be something simple, like pegasi history. Or maybe I’ll go more bold. I wonder if anypony’s ever done a friendship themed restaurant before. I’m not sure what that would look like. Maybe instead of tables there’s just one long booth?

I probably should have mentioned this first, but I got kind of distracted thinking about what my ideal theme restaurant would be like. I visited Button Nose today! She was so happy to see me that she broke down crying. She said she hasn’t talked to Peaceful Skies in a long time and was starting to get lonely. I was kind of wondering why Peaceful Skies stopped mentioning her in his letters and she stopped mentioning him.

I spent the rest of the day and the entire night with Button Nose. We mostly talked and exchanged recipes. I basically told her everything I’d told her in my letters. It was different actually saying it out loud. Most of it sounds so crazy and unlikely.

Button Nose’s reaction to me showing up made me feel guilty. If I thought I’d been gone a long time, it must have been twice as long for her. I don’t want to drop out of cooking school or anything drastic, but she does seem lonely. It’s like somepony took a big chunk out of her life and she’s still trying to recover from it. Does Mom ever feel the same way? Is that why Mom doesn’t write letters to me?

I need to visit Mom. I feel like she could answer a lot of my questions.

This tea Button Nose made me is putting me right to sleep. I’ll write more tomorrow if I have the chance.

---

Dear Diary,

I visited Peaceful Skies and Avalon today! They’re a lot different from Button Nose. They’re both as nice as she is, but they seem happier.

Avalon said she’s on track to become a model. She has an interview tomorrow that might mean big things for her. I’m wishing her all the luck in Equestria. I’m jealous of how confident she is. She didn’t seem worried at all.

Peaceful Skies had a surprise for me. He was going to send it to me, but since I showed up unexpectedly he decided I could just have it.

Vinyl Scratch sent me a package! I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t talked to her in years. How does she even remember me? Well, I guess I’m kind of hard to forget. I don’t think even Vinyl has met a lot of cross-eyed ponies.

There was no letter with the package, so at first I thought it might not be for me after all. I thought it might have been meant for somepony named “Ditzy Hooves” or “Derpy Woods” and the mailpony just made a mistake. But inside the package there was a tape. I turned the tape over and there was a note on the back written in Vinyl’s hoofwriting. According to the note, this tape is the first piece of music Vinyl has ever written and produced by herself. The note said she’s sending this tape to everypony she knows. I’m so happy Vinyl is achieving her dreams just like I’m achieving mine!

I haven’t listened to the tape yet. I’m saving it for a special occasion. Then I’m going to write to Vinyl and tell her what I thought of it. I bet it’s amazing.

Claws is doing well. He spent most of my visit napping beside me or in my lap. When I finally had to leave, he clung to my hoof and wouldn’t let go. It breaks my heart to know how much he misses me. I wish cats were allowed at school.

I need to be up early again, so that will have to do it for this entry.

---

Dear Diary,

I thought there wouldn’t be much going on once I got back to school, but I was wrong. I’ve only been back three days and I’m already starting to panic. I’m completely on top of most of my schoolwork, so that’s not a problem. I’m doing better than I thought I would, even though I’m devoting so much of my free time to perfecting my omelet.

It’s evaluation week! Basically, this is a week-long thing where students get evaluated by the headmistress every day. No one is allowed to talk about the evaluations, even if they’ve had one. It’s all a secret until it’s our turn. I’m nervous. As far as I can tell, the students are chosen at random and it’s a different number of them every day. I could get called in at any time I’m not in my classes. I don’t know what happens if I fail my evaluation. Will I get a re-do? Will I get kicked out of school?

I talked to Time Turner about it today. He’s already had something like that at his school. Unfortunately, he couldn’t give me any pointers. He said for his evaluation, he got called into the office and had to recite a bunch of facts and answer questions while being timed.

I think I could handle something like that. I’m good at memorizing recipes. The only thing I have to worry about is getting too nervous. Will I fail if I get one ingredient or step wrong? If that’s the case, I’d better try extra hard. But I have no idea which recipes I could be asked to recite! I can’t memorize all of them.

My best bet is to wow the headmistress with my cooking. This is a cooking school after all. I bet I have to cook something for my evaluation. What should I make? If it’s something too easy, I might fail because I’m not trying hard enough. If it’s something too difficult, I might make it wrong. Should I forget about my omelet and try to perfect my muffins? Muffins are pretty hard, at least in my opinion. Will the headmistress be impressed? No, of course she won’t. It needs to be something fancy and cool. Maybe something exotic.

I’m going to go scour the cookbooks in the library. There has to be something interesting in one of them that I can make for the headmistress.

I also just realized I don’t know the headmistress’s name. I think she mentioned it, but I completely forgot. I hope I don’t lose points for that.

---

Dear Diary,

Bon-Bon had her evaluation today. In fact, she’s still having it. She was called into the office right after our first class of the day. Now it’s nearly bedtime and I still haven’t seen her. I hope she’s doing okay.

I perfected my omelet recipe. I found the perfect blend of spices, cheese, and mushrooms to make the best omelet I’ve ever tasted. It’s the exact right amount of pizzazz I was looking for. I’m proud of myself, but I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I haven’t made any progress when it comes to making muffins. In fact, I think I’ve gotten worse. Yesterday night I almost started a fire in the kitchen.

Things are getting too complicated again. I want to get everything over with, but at the same time I’m terrified of the results. I haven’t even been able to write anypony about my dilemma. I’m afraid they wouldn’t be able to reply in time.

On the bright side, I listened to Vinyl’s tape in the hopes it could calm me down. It was amazing! I’ve never heard music like that before. It was loud and aggressive, but also a little comforting. It made me feel like I had just escaped some kind of big disaster. Vinyl has some real talent. Once this is all over, I’m going to write her a long letter filling her in on everything she’s missed in my life and tell her how great her music is.

If I do get kicked out of school, what am I going to do? I guess I’ll go back home to Manehattan and live with Button Nose. Maybe I’ll get a job as a waitress at The Dragon’s Dungeon or some other place. That would be nice. Or maybe I could become a model like Avalon or a martial arts instructor like Peaceful Skies. There are so many options I’d never even thought of. But at the same time, I don’t want to go back to Manehattan. It might be the closest thing I’ve ever had to home, but there’s so much more to Equestria than big cities. What I want more than anything else is for things to stop moving so I can finally think. Things are always moving in the city, so it’s harder to focus on the things that I love the most, like my family and friends.

I could move back to Cloudsdale. I could live with Mom. Or maybe I could live with Fly High. Cloudsdale is where pegasi belong, right? It’s where I was born.

I don’t know, but I’m glad I have options.

---

Dear Diary,

I had my evaluation today. I got called into the headmistress’s office after the last class of the day. I was so surprised that I almost dropped all of my books. I was shaking all the way there. I don’t remember having been to the headmistress’s office before. I probably have, but I was so nervous that I completely forgot what it looked like.

It turns out the headmistress is named Parsley Palette. She actually looks friendly when she isn’t giving announcements. She reminds me of Mrs. Cake, except she’s a unicorn instead of an Earth pony.

Ms. Palette told me how she’d looked over all of my schoolwork and talked to the instructors about my performance. She said I was a pretty good student and a decent chef. She also said she was surprised I was able to keep up with the workload so well. Apparently most pegasi who come here end up giving up early because they decide they’d rather join the weather patrol or be a Wonderbolt. I’m one of the few whose stayed on long enough to be evaluated by her.

After she said all those nice things, Ms. Palette took me to a kitchen area. I’ve never heard of anypony having a kitchen attached to their office, but it was right there through a door at the back. It was a big kitchen too. All the utensils and pots and pans were gleaming like they’d just been polished.

I only got to admire it for a little though. I had to cook something for Ms. Palette. That wasn’t so bad because I was expecting it. However, the whole thing was way scarier than I’d imagined it. Ms. Palette was looming over me the entire time. She never said anything, but just feeling her there was enough.

Ms. Palette let me choose what I would make. I ended up not going with an omelet or muffins. I decided to make a cake instead. Cakes are great because you can make them look simple or beautiful. I thought Ms. Palette would be impressed if I made a really gorgeous cake that tasted amazing.

I hardly remember the actual cooking part. All I can remember is bumping into stuff and spilling ingredients all over the floor. I somehow managed to make the cake, although it didn’t look quite as great as I thought it would. It was a three-layer chocolate-vanilla cake with raspberries and strawberries. I wish I’d gotten to eat some of it. Looking back, I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever made at this school. I had no idea I was even capable of making something like that.

Once Ms. Palette had eaten a slice, we had the actual evaluation part. She said I was an excellent cook with obvious talent and a lot of passion. I was so relieved when I heard that. In a way, I still am. I’d always kind of doubted my cooking abilities. The headmistress of this fancy school saying that must mean I’m good at it despite my worries.

Unfortunately, that’s where the good part ends. I’ve been stalling as long as I can, but I guess I have to write down what happened next. I was so happy after what Ms. Palette said. I thought I’d finally found my place among all of these aspiring chefs and that this was my destiny. I guess fate isn’t as easy to figure out as it ought to be for a pony.

Ms. Palette told me that I’ll probably never become a chef. She said that even though I have a lot of talent when it comes to cooking, I’m far too clumsy. My level of clumsiness might be somewhat okay for a weather pony, but it could be downright disastrous for a chef. I do tend to bump into things and knock things over when I cook. I’ve gotten so used to my clumsiness that I forgot it was even an issue. It’s not necessarily something I can fix. I’ve always been like this. I think it might have something to do with my eyes or otherwise related to the accident I had when I was a foal that made me like this. Whatever the reason, being clumsy is just a part of me. But no matter how I look at it, I can’t become a chef.

I told Ms. Palette all of this and she was very understanding. She told me she’d arrange for me to leave the school sometime next week if I wanted. I agreed. I mean, what’s the point in me staying if I can never become a chef anyway?

I’ll start packing tomorrow. I’m going to miss this place.

---

Dear Diary,

At this very moment, I’ve almost finished packing my bags. I told Bon-Bon I was leaving. I expected her to beg me not to go, but she was just as understanding as Ms. Palette. She said that she wasn’t really cut out to be a chef either. She told me she’s had other things in mind since the beginning, but she thought the chef thing would be fun to try out at least. I hope whatever Bon-Bon ends up doing works out for her. She has a lot of talents she could put to good use.

I’m going to miss Time Turner. I haven’t had the chance to tell him I’m leaving yet, but I’m sure he’s going to be heartbroken. He’s helped me in more ways than he’ll ever know. In a way, just being around him made me feel as if I could achieve anything. One day, Time Turner is going to become the greatest professor in Canterlot. He’s really the smartest pony I’ve ever met.

When I told Lyra I was leaving and why, she promised she’d find a spell to get rid of my clumsiness. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted she’d start looking immediately. She probably won’t find one, but I’m a little worried she might hurt herself trying out spells. I’m glad she has Bon-Bon to look after her.

I’m still not sure of where I want to go exactly. I wrote a letter to Mom telling her what happened and asking if I can live with her again. I don’t expect her to reply, but I might go back to Cloudsdale and talk to her. Fly High sent me a reply saying that I should come back to Cloudsdale and become a weather pony. Button Nose and Peaceful Skies want me to come back to Manehattan. I do miss all of them. I miss Claws as well. I wish I could live with all of them in one place.

Maybe I don’t even need to return home. Maybe I could live in Las Pegasus or Baltimare instead. I’ve been looking at my map and I’ve realized how many places are in Equestria. I knew Equestria was big, but for some reason it seems even bigger now that I’m leaving Canterlot.

Where does a pony like me belong?

Wherever I belong, I’m going to have to wait a while to figure it out.

---

Dear Diary,

I’m waiting for the train. I probably should have packed up my diary, but I couldn’t wait to write. I have a feeling I won’t be writing in here for a while.

I finally managed to talk to Time Turner this morning. He already knew about me leaving because Lyra told him. He’d been avoiding me since then. I thought he was mad at me for some reason. I really thought I was going to leave Canterlot without saying goodbye to him.

We said a lot of things to each other, mostly about how we valued our friendship. Time Turner promised he’d write me letters and I promised to write back. I’ve never seen him cry before. I’m positive we’re going to meet again, but somehow it felt like we were saying goodbye for the last time. The moment I put away my diary, I’m going to start writing him a letter. I’m not sure what it’ll be about, but I’m going to start one anyway.

Hot Cakes showed up as I was about to leave. He said that even though we’re not as close as we were before, he’s sorry to see me go. He said he’s more committed to his quest to become a chef. I’m happy he’s become more confident in his own fur.

After a lot of thinking, I decided where I’m going to go. It’s kind of strange. This wasn’t a place that was calling to me or a place I know very intimately. Thinking about it more made me realize I’d been there a few times with Mom when I was a filly, but it never made an impact on me back then. Somehow I feel drawn to it. Maybe it’s because this place is exactly what I’ve been looking for. It’s a place where I can slow down and think for the first time in my life.

I’m not as bothered about not becoming a chef as I thought I was. That’s obviously not my destiny. Whatever my destiny is, it’s waiting for me at the end of a road I never even knew I was on. I don’t know what it could possibly be yet, but I’ll know it when I see it.

The train’s here. I’d better get going. I’m not sure when I’ll be picking up this diary again. I probably won’t touch it until I find my destiny.

I might have been born in Cloudsdale and spent a good deal of my fillyhood in Manehattan and my adolescence in Canterlot, but I think I know where every path I took was going to lead.

In a strange way, Ponyville has always been my home. It’s where I found the first real peace I’d ever had in my life. I hope I can find it again.

Goodbye for now, Diary. I’m going home.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Why isn't there a sad tag?

[TooShyShy]

8178258 Added one.

[forbloodysummer]

Welcome home, Derpy