False Heroes

by RadicalDishonesty

Chapter 3

I groan to myself as I circle around the city for what’s gotta be the dozenth time just today.

“Oh, we’ve got all these great leads,” I say to myself. “Just look at this huge list of places she’s been seen at that encompasses about half the damn city! I’m sure all you’ll need to do is look around a bit and you’ll find her!” And even though it’s the dozenth time today, it’s gotta be the hundredth time this week!

See, in order to actually find her I have to basically patrol all the time. I swear this is worse than weatherpony work, because at least at work I know when I’m gonna be done and get breaks. But here, if I take breaks… what if she shows up right then?

Best keep going, then.

The worst part is reading the paper, because almost every day there’s another report about her being spotted or about her saving somepony. The problem isn’t that she isn’t doing her thing, it’s that I’m not there when she does, and she’s always gone when I get there. I missed her by five minutes a few days ago, when there was a collapsing crane.

But the worst part is that it’s really boring. I’ve been doing nothing but flying around all day! It’s easy to watch out for danger, and it’s easy to lazily fly around all day, so I’ve basically got nothing to do.

Flying up into the clouds, I flump down on one. This sucks.

But the worst part is that I just know that traitor is living it up right now. I bet she’s shmoozing with the Wonderbolts, talking about the latest stunts. Getting awards or breaking records. She might already be a Wonderbolt. We were almost in just during the academy! The best ever seen!

And I bet they’re just sooo impressed by how she can backstab her partner, too! That scheming mare got exactly what she wanted! I slam my hoof into the cloud, which breaks it underneath me. I sigh and let myself fall for a second before I open my wings and pirouette into my patrol again. I’ll be damned if I let her get away with doing this to me… and the only way forward now is catching Mare Do Well.

Back to work.

Fortunately, it doesn’t take too long before I see something of interest. Smoke, to be specific. And where there’s smoke, there’s Mare-Do-Well!

I dash at the downtown area, and there’s a big apartment building, five stories tall, and it’s got a lot of smoke billowing out from the building, but no obvious flames. It’s definitely on fire, and Mare Do Well will definitely be here, taking her chance to show off. I take a vantage point on a cloud and watch.

Just a few minutes later, I hear a shout from the other side of the building: “It’s Mare-Do-Well!” I speed around to the other side, ready to pounce, but… when I catch sight of her, I don’t just see her, I see the whole crowd watching her. Idolizing her.

If I pounce on her now, the crowd would be on her side... So I watch her as she vaults up a fire escape and finds a window. Giving it a quick buck, she shatters it and climbs into the building. A few minutes later, a different window is broken outward and a smoke billows out as several ponies scramble onto the fire escape.

This continues three or four times. It’s not even exciting saving. Occasionally Mare Do Well even leaves the building, going to another level on the fire escape. There are no obvious fires, and it’s just ponies leaving. This is easy stuff, and Mare Do Well is just lapping up free publicity. I doubt she’s even in danger in there.

But, as one of the ponies is trying to leave, there’s a crashing sound from inside the building and a flare of fire bursts out of the window. Finally, something good.

But almost as soon as the fire bursts out of the window, a jet of water hits it, from the fireponies on the ground. In fact, several fireponies enter the building, and some other weatherponies start pushing filled clouds around.

Looks like the fireponies have it under control… and Mare Do Well appears on a fire escape close to another apartment, and leaps to it. She climbs up on the top of it, watching them work like I’ve been watching her work. She nods and turns around, hopping off the building.

Right down into the back alley ways where nopony else can see her.

Showtime.

I dart down to the alley in pursuit. At first she is dashing down the alleys. She’s not hard to keep track of, I’m much faster than she is… but I’m biding my time. Pretty soon she slows down, though, believing she is safe. As soon as she gets to a long and straight alley, I dart ahead of her. Twisting around I slam down in front of her, four hooves on the ground and facing her. “Mare Do Well!” I shout, splaying my wings out intimidatingly.

She immediately lowers into a ready stance.

I smirk because I know she’s nervous. “You’ve been playing the goody two shoes today pretty well. But I know what you’re really like.” I step closer.

Her eyes narrow and she steps back.

My smirk breaks into a wicked toothy grin. “I know that this heroism is all a charade, and what a liar you really are, playing up the hero game so people won’t notice what you’re doing. And I’m here to stop you.”

She tenses up, ready to spring…but I don’t let her get anywhere before I strike. With a blast of wing power, I fly straight forward, swinging my left hoof straight at her head.

Except she ducks even lower than she was before, sliding underneath me. Her withers slam into my chest, and she pushes straight up, knocking the wind out of me. The world upends as she flips me over her.

My back slams into the wall behind her, and I slide down, landing on my head. Ow. But this is nothing, just a minor spill. I crack my eyes open and she’s taking off. Like hell she’ll get away, though.

I right myself with the trained grace of a professional flyer who won’t be taken out by a minor spill, and launch myself after her. Almost right before I reach her, though, she looks back to check. I swing my hoof for her head, but she hops to the right and I whiff. As I pass I lash out with a rear hoof and it connects with her barrel, but I can tell it’s not a good hit.

I splay my wings out, right then left, sliding on the ground and spinning around in front of her to face her again.

“You’re not getting away!” I announce, and launch myself at her again. I rear back my forehoof like I’m about to punch, but instead of following through like the last two times, I unfold my wings to come to a stop and rear back so I can lash out at her with my hindlegs from the air. I smack her in the head and on her withers.

She stumbles back a bit, shaking her head. Landing, I press my advantage and come in with a left punch at her head. Her hoof comes up, smacking mine away, and her other hoof strikes at my exposed shoulder.

I swing my other hoof at her, landing a solid blow on her exposed barrel. I swing with my other hoof, hitting a hoofful of cloak.

And then, outta nowhere, her hoof slams into the side of my head at full force. I yelp in pain, and take a wild swing at her, which she backs out of and leaps up into the air, slamming her hindlegs into my breast.

I stumble back, my vision blurry as a purple and black blob lands vaguely into a standing pony shape. I growl to myself. She took my move! I take another step forward and swing wildly at her, which she catches and yanks towards herself.

This time I stumble forward, and she rolls backward, flipping me over her with her hind legs. Once more I slam into a wall, and I slide down the wall. Everything goes dark, though, as my head gets stuffed into something smelly. I try to unfurl my wings to find that they’re pressed up against some piece of debris. I try to get leverage with my forelimbs but only manage to sink deeper into the can.

Damn that mare.

By the time I wiggle myself out of the trash, Mare Do Well is nowhere to be found. I kick the trash can that I’d been in.

Ugh! I spent a whole damn week waiting for that fight, and she just stuffs me in a trash can. I coulda had her if it weren’t for all her judo crap, too. Except for that punch to the face.

And the backflip kick.

… I need a better plan.

I open my wings to take off and get a whiff of what I’ve just been dunked in.

But before that, I need a damn shower.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

7860504 Do you hate how your comment didn't get a response?

[Starlight Nova]

Let me guess: the Mare-Do-Well is Rainbow Dash.

[tuntematon]

The game begins! Great work!!

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

7881553 Given how much SHE hated the Mare-Do-Well thing back in Ponyville, I kinda doubt that it's Dash.

[RadicalDishonesty]

7881550
I considered responding to speculation... but really, unless I'm gonna confirm something the story won't answer, or wanna shut down speculation on something causing trouble, I'm probably going to say nothing at all.

You guys keep on speculatin' and I'll keep on writin'.