Chaos
Yeah, of all the ways I could get back to Equestria, Death showing up on my family's doorstep wasn't even one that crossed my mind. Dad and Kristen were looking at him like he'd lost his mind, and Mom was alternating looks between me, Death, and the dead plant. I uneasily cleared my throat and rubbed my neck.
"I, uh, guess you have a lot of questions."
"A few, yeah," Dad admitted. "Please tell me that was some magic trick and death himself isn't actually standing in my house."
"As I said, I'm afraid that this is all very real," Death said, reaching out to pat my dad on the shoulder. He flinched back, which made Death chuckle a bit. "I am sorry. Smart move on your part, though. I wasn't going to do anything, but no harm in being careful."
"Right. Another question." Kristen crossed her arms and frowned and Death. "Who the heck is Prince Antares?"
Death motioned to me. "Why, your brother, of course. Hasn't he told you where he's been and what he's been doing?"
"Yeah." Kristen's frown turned into a glower. "Didn't say he knew Death, though."
"Oh, it's more of a casual acquaintance," Death said with a wave of his hand. "We talked once after his chest wound from that arrow."
Mom's eyes widened. "You almost died?" she cried.
"Yeah, pretty close," I admitted. "Few more minutes without help and... yeah."
Mom sighed and put her hand to her forehead as she leaned against the entryway desk. "I..." She shook her head before looking to Kristen. "Where was he?"
"He was..." Kristen looked over to me. I sighed and nodded. "He was in the My Little Pony world. As like one of the rulers there. Got married and had a couple of kids, too."
If the silence was awkward before, it didn't hold a candle to what happened after that little declaration. Mom and Dad could only stare at me, while Death gave me a slightly amused look. I groaned and rubbed my temples.
"It's a long story."
"But it's true," Dad said.
"Yeah." I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's true."
"An ancient being called Discord returned him to your world, or, ah, rather what you perceive as your world. I won't go into a lot of details, but suffice it to say, your son was never actually meant for this world. His place was always elsewhere."
My eyes narrowed. "So what, I was always supposed to go to Equestria? Then why the heck wasn't I just born there?"
"Look at the unique experiences you brought to the table," Death pointed out. "You shook things up quite a lot. Plus you ended that war in six months rather than the years it would have taken otherwise. And now..." Death grinned and rubbed his hands together. "It's time for you to return to that."
"Now wait a minute..." Dad stepped in front of me as if shielding me from Death. "He's not going anywhere! We just got him back into our lives and now you want to take him away from us?" Dad scoffed. "Don't think so, buddy."
"Hit him, Dad," I said, a small smirk on my face. "Show that it's genetic."
"What's genetic?" Mom asked.
I shook my head with a small chuckle. "Don't worry about it." My expression turned serious. "But, Mom, Dad, Kristen..." I stepped out from behind Dad. "I do have to go."
"No!" Mom cried, grabbing my hand. "You belong here with us! We can't lose you again!"
"I'm afraid that he doesn't belong here," Death insisted. "Back in Equestria he has millions of subjects to watch over and provide for, on top of his wife and two children. What would he do here that's more important than that?"
"He'd be here with us!" Kristen retorted. "I just..." Now Kristen put herself between Death and I. "He's not going to disappear on me again! I just can't!"
"I know this must come as a shock to you, but--"
With all of the "quiet dignity and grace" she could muster, Kristen stomped up to Death himself and punched him in the face.
Huh. I guess it does run in the family.
Rather than be annoyed in the least bit, Death chuckled and rubbed the spot Kristen had hit. "You know? I think I like you. Nobody has ever done that before."
"You'll get another one if you don't get the hell out of here!" Kristen pointed to the door. "You're not taking him anywhere!"
Man, we weren't getting anywhere with this. I sighed and walked up to Kristen, gently putting my hand on her shoulder. "Kristen... I actually have to go."
"No you don't!" Kristen spun around to face me, and my stomach tightened up when I saw tears brimming in her eyes. "You're gonna stay here and... and... and be happy and we'll all forget that you even disappeared in the first place!"
"We can't have this happen again," Mom whispered. "Please listen to your sister."
"I am listening to her. I just think she's wrong." I turned back to Mom and smiled. "It wouldn't be so bad, right? You'd actually know where I was this time. You'd know I was doing well and happy with my wife and children."
"Oh, yeah, getting into wars and getting hurt. It sounds like your life is a total paradise!" Kristen retorted.
"I didn't say it was easy, but it's necessary!" I insisted. "I have responsibilities there. I have millions of subjects to watch over." I grimaced and extended a hand to Kristen. "I can't just abandon them. You should have seen what happened to the nation when I got shot. The whole country came together. Now if I leave forever?" I shook my head. "I just can't. You wouldn't in my position either."
"I wouldn't go off and try to rule a country either!" Kristen growled, backing away from my extended hand.
"I didn't choose it. It happened to me."
"Yes you did. You absolutely chose it. You could have told them all to buzz off, but you didn't. You had to play the hero." Kristen crossed her arms. "Or would you have died a painful death if you hadn't?"
Mom and Dad, for their part, were alternating helpless looks between the two of us. I couldn't begin to guess what they were thinking, or even whose side they were on. Maybe they were just on emotional overload. After all, Death himself had just walked into their house and forced us to confront the fact that I was a pony god ruling over a country in another dimension. I think Kristen's anger was partially confusion and helplessness rather than actual rage.
"It doesn't matter what I chose. What matters is that it happened," I replied. "And now I have to go back. My people are suffering without me, and I need to help them." I backed away and stood next to Death. "I'm sorry. This is how it has to be." I tried the comforting smile again. "I'll be fine."
"Well, it's going to be interesting whatever happens," Death agreed. "So, if you want to say your goodbyes, Prince Antares has some work to do."
"His name is TD," Kristen growled. "And he's not going anywhere."
"He's made his choice. You'd be cruel to force him to do otherwise. Remember his wife and children." Death gave an amused scoff. "And I don't think his name is TD anymore."
"Don't give me that!" Dad retorted. "His name is TD. I don't know where the heck you got this 'Prince Antares' crap, but you don't know what you're talking about!"
"I'm the physical incarnation of death." Death gave my dad a flat look. "How could you possibly know more than I do in any area?"
Okay, this had gone on long enough. I couldn't just stand around while my family argued with Death for hours on end. I stepped into the middle of the room and raised my hands to shoulder level, pointing at each of my family members until they focused on me.
"Guys. I have to do this. Please believe me. What I left... my subjects are suffering under a madman unlike any that this Earth has ever seen. I can stop him. Or at the very least I can try. I can't just sit here while everyone, including my wife and children, are in pain." I looked over to Kristen and stared her dead in the eye. "And you wouldn't either. If you fully grasped everything going on, none of you would want me to just stay here and do nothing."
"Of course we want you to stay, TD!" Mom insisted. "We can't lose you again!"
I walked up to my mother and hugged her tight. She returned the hug with equal vigor, and after a few moments, I had to gently push her away before she'd let go. I didn't want this to be any more difficult than it had to be. I needed to leave as soon as possible, both because time was of the essence with Discord, and the longer I stayed, the harder it would be for them when I left.
"I don't know what's going to happen," I admitted. "I promise you, though, I will try to find some way to see you again. I don't want this to be the last time any more than you do." I sighed and turned to Death. "So do you open a portal, or what?"
"Actually yes." With one wave of his hand, a glowing portal replaced our front door. He stepped aside and bowed to me. "After you, Your Highness."
"Don't you dare, TD," Kristen growled. "Tell this guy to go to Hell and we can forget about all of this!"
"I can't." I turned to give Kristen one last look. "I can't leave my wife and children to whatever fate Discord has in store for them. I already have to hope that I'm not too late."
With that, I stepped through the portal. The world went white for a moment, almost reminding me of the area I'd gone to after being hit by the Elements. It became so bright that I couldn't even see. However, it only lasted for a moment. When the light died down, I felt different. The air around me seemed unlike anything that I'd been exposed to on Earth, yet it remained familiar to me. I opened my eyes and looked down. My heart leaped at the sight. I'd returned to my alicorn form. I let out a single, relieved laugh before turning back to the portal. I could still see the inside of my house. My parents and sister were looking at me with looks of shock on their faces that would have been comical under different circumstances. I gave them a comforting smile and a wave.
Heh, guess they believed me, then. Hopefully that would help them move on a little bit. At least it would help to know that I had told them the truth the entire time. I didn't know what would happen on their end, but whatever else, they'd hopefully know that I'd be alright.
I saw Death pat Kristen on the shoulder before he tipped his hat to my parents. With that, he stepped through the portal himself. Kristen began moving forward, but I turned away when Death came up beside me in his pony form once again.
"So, you're back," he said, waving his hoof to cancel out the portal.
I took a deep breath and smiled. "Yeah, I'm back. Where I belong." I raised an eyebrow at Death. "So if he tries this again, are you just going to keep coming to get me?"
"Oh, he won't try this again," Death replied. "I may not know everything that's going to happen in the future, but I know enough to make some, shall we say, educated guesses."
Before I could respond, a voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts. One I never thought I'd hear again.
"Uh, TD? I think I have a tail."
My eyes widened and I wheeled around to see, to my utter shock, Kristen. She sat right where the portal had been, staring down at her new body. She had a green coat with straight blue hair that went down just past her shoulders. It looked like her hairstyle back on Earth. To cap it all off, a pair of wings were neatly folded at her side. My jaw dropped and I gingerly walked up to her.
"Kristen... what did you do?"
"I came through the portal to get your sorry behind back where you belong," Kristen grumbled, shakily trying to stand on all fours for the first time.
"I argue that I'm the one who did that," Death pointed out.
"Oh screw you," Kristen snarled. She took a few seconds to steady herself, then pointed at me, her legs wobbling a little bit. "You need to get him back to Earth!"
"I am not a taxi service," Death said flatly. "If this wasn't so important, I probably would have let him stay, to be honest, but, well, the powers-that-be want him back, and I frankly do, too." Death snorted and shook his head. "You should have heard the sheer volume of prayers that went up when his subjects realized he'd vanished."
"I don't care about that! I just..." Kristen's ear twitched, and her wings fluttered a little bit. She turned to look at her wings and frowned. "Are they supposed to do that?"
I angrily groaned and turned to Death myself. "Take her back. She doesn't belong here."
"I believe I already informed you that I am not a taxi service. She chose to come through the portal." Death gave her a vaguely amused smile. "Which, I must admit, even I didn't see coming. Your sister might be even more amusing than you."
"If you don't--"
"I'm done discussing this. If you wish to return her, you'll have to do it yourself." Death gave me a Cheshire Cat-like grin and motioned to the area around us. "After, of course, you solve your more pressing issue."
For the first time since arriving back home, I looked around to see what that was. My heart broke when I saw exactly what Discord had been doing in my absence. The entire landscape had become some twisted checkerboard madness with each of the squares changing colors at a moment's notice. He'd turned the sky into a comically pink mess with splotches of orange that I could only assume were supposed to be clouds. All of the trees around us looked largely the same, except all of the branches had been oversized, with gigantic "apples" that pulsated like alien eggs. I couldn't see any buildings, but I did see a lake that changed from water, ice, orange juice, and cola over and over again. In the distance clouds poured chocolate milk all over the area.
It didn't look much like home.
"Where are we?" I asked quietly.
"In one of the areas between Ponyville and Canterlot. Normally you'd be able to see Canterlot from here, but the mountain kind of stood up and walked away."
I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Who knew what had happened to my family if that was the case. My scars started twinging again.
"So what n--" I turned to look at Death, but he had already vanished. I growled and rubbed my temples. At least he'd gotten me back home.
"So, uh..." Kristen gently cleared her throat and walked up to me. "You can fix this, right? He brought you here so you could."
"Oh, now you're okay with me being here?" I growled turning on her. "Before that it was just what you all wanted. You had to see it to believe that maybe, just maybe I knew what I was doing?"
"Well excuse me for not believing that you were some pony god right away," Kristen snapped, her wings flaring out. "Some weird guy claiming to be Death shows up on our front porch wanting to take you away again after five years of not knowing where the heck you were and you're just happy to go with him like we didn't matter at all!"
"Of course you guys mattered! I wanted nothing else but to get back to you for years!" I shot back. I motioned out to the chaotic landscape. "If you knew that we were stuck in this and you were the only one who could stop it, wouldn't you leave, too?"
"Yeah, I guess I would. Like I said: I get it now. I just..." Kristen closed her eyes and sighed. "What was I supposed to think?"
"Apparently you didn't think about Mom and Dad, did you?" I continued. "What are they supposed to feel now? They just lost both of their children right after they finally got me back! They saw me on the other side of the portal! They knew I was telling the truth! Now they're most likely never going to see either of us again!"
"I just..." Kristen growled and stomped on the ground. "I don't know! I wasn't thinking about that, okay? I know it was wrong of me! I couldn't just let you go like that! I... I don't know, okay?!"
"My, my, what a rather unexpected scene."
I whirled around and flared out my wings in an attempt to shield Kristen. I bared my teeth and began lighting my horn for any spell I could think of as Discord lazily floated in front of us, an amused grin on his face.
"What the hell is that?" Kristen whispered.
"I?" Discord straightened up and bowed. "Where are my manners? I am Discord, lord of all chaos and the current ruler of these fine lands and the beings therein. In an attempt to spare your brother from that, I brought him right back to your interesting planet." Discord idly wave his hand. "I'm sure we would have met eventually. I couldn't just stay here forever, now could I?"
"You're not going to torture anyone anymore, Discord!" I roared, shooting a beam of pure energy at him. He lazily turned his body into a coil, allowing the spell to pass right through him.
"I rather doubt that." He floated up until he could get a good look at Kristen. "It's nice to see that you've brought me a new playmate." He grinned and began slithering toward her. "Now what to--"
Since his focus was entirely on Kristen, he didn't notice my next attack spell until it hit him on the shoulder, which, to my eternal frustration, didn't affect him any more than if I'd lightly tapped a balloon. He let out his caw of a laugh and did a midair backflip.
"You're going to have to do better than that!" he crowed.
It was on.
I lit my horn and teleported Kristen so she was behind a nearby tree. I did my best to ignore the steadily rising pain in my scars as I materialized a whip of pure fire, which I cracked menacingly beside me. I shot it out at Discord, but he snapped his claw and turned it into licorice, which, to add insult to injury, he promptly took a big bite out of.
"Ah, delicious."
I spread my wings and flew into the air, materializing a sword made out of sun fire. A spell Celestia had taught me. I swung it at him, but he bisected himself just before the sword hit, meaning I hit nothing but air. I grunted from the increasing levels of pain, but I kept swinging at him. The bastard kept dodging without sending any spells my way.
"What is it that they say about the definition of insanity?" Discord said idly as he dodged another sword strike. "I think it's also the definition of boredom."
"I'll kill you!" I roared. "I'll-- GAH!"
My sword went out and my wings locked up as the pain became unbearable. I gasped for breath as I rubbed the scars, hoping in vain to relieve some of the pain. I hit the ground hard enough that even Discord flinched.
I couldn't breathe. All I could think about was the pain. It had started spreading throughout my body. Even getting hit with the Nightmare Arrow hadn't hurt this much. I started convulsing and gasping for breath, but every movement seemed to make the pain worse. I almost wanted to die then and there. I think I would have accepted it if I didn't need to fight Discord. I had to kill Discord. If the pain kept going after I did that, then I'd be okay with dying. Anything to make the pain go away. I tried for one of the healing spells I knew, but ultimately it wouldn't do anything. It only made the pain travel up into my horn. Just as it reached the tip, black and green lighting shot out of my horn, and the pain... faded. I wouldn't say it went away, but I started not to care so much about how much it hurt. I actually managed to get back on my hooves and look up at Discord.
Fear. I saw fear in his eyes when I looked at him. He'd already started to back away.
"Antares, listen to me. You don't--"
"Oh, I do." I grinned and channeled the pain back into my horn. "I really do."
With an inequine shriek, I recreated my fire whip out of the black and green fire. I shot it out and wrapped it around Discord's throat before he could react. He snapped his fingers, no doubt trying to escape, but nothing happened. I have to admit, it felt amazing to see that. I let out a low, guttural laugh and began reeling him in like a fish.
"Scared?" I began charging up my horn again. "You should be."
"Antares, this is black magic you're dealing with!" Discord cried, clawing at the whip around his neck. "Celestia--"
"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK HER NAME!" I roared, shooting a beam of black energy at him that collided with his head. He went completely limp, almost as if I'd hit him with a bullet. With one more tug of the whip, I dragged him down to the ground and began pounding on him with every single spell I knew. The pain was still there. In fact, it continued to get worse the more spells I hit him with. I could barely see. It hurt so much I couldn't even remember my own name. I still didn't stop. I couldn't. If I let him go, he'd be free to hurt my family again. He'd be free to hurt my subjects again. I couldn't tolerate either of those.
As an act of desperation, Discord snapped his claws and the ground beneath me turned into molasses, which I began slowly sinking into. I snarled and began casting spells at the ground to free myself. Discord used the free moment to try to fly away, but I'd already managed to free two legs from the molasses. I grabbed the whip and tugged him back to earth. He snapped his talons and called up giant rocks from the ground which he threw at me at dizzying speeds. I teleported out of the way, appearing behind him before hitting him in the back with another spell that sent him reeling.
"Antares, you're going down a path from which there may be no return!" Discord cried, calling vines from underneath the ground that he wrapped around me. "You don't know what you're dealing with!"
"I don't really care," I said coldly, severing the vines with a beam of fire. "If I'm a monster, then see what you've created!"
"I suppose it's too late to apologize," Discord said with a sad smile, dodging a beam of black magic I shot at him.
"It's far too late," I growled. "You have no idea what you did to me!"
I took ahold of the whip again and tugged him closer to me. He looped around and shot a jagged rock into my underbelly from the ground. I grunted in pain and took to the air. Best not let him hit me that way again.
Just one more hit. That's all I needed to take care of him forever. Just one more hit. I fired twin beams of energy from my horn, shooting them in different directions. Discord flew back, but the beams curved to meet him. He dodged just at the last second before I annihilated him. With a snap of his claws, the sky above us filled with cotton candy clouds, which he began hurling at me. Whenever any one of them made contact, it stuck to me, and I had to use precious seconds to tear them away. He'd summoned too many for me to simply dodge them all.
I encased myself in a bright blue shield, preventing more of the clouds from hitting me. I couldn't let him keep dodging me, so I did what I should have at the start and tethered the whip to the ground, preventing him from moving away. He conjured up a shield made of mint bark, but I blasted through that with one simple spell. He threw his arms up to shield himself from the shrapnel, and that left me my opening. I shot one of the most powerful spells I knew at him.
It hit him right in the chest. He fell without a sound.
Playing possum, are we?"
I flew down and landed next to him with enough impact to dent the ground beneath me, then continued hitting him with every single combat spell I knew. His body twitched with every blow that landed.
It felt good. Even though I was in pain that would have killed a normal pony, I felt amazing. Powerful. Invincible.
Primal.
I stabbed a black energy spear right into Discord's gut, but he didn't even move. The faker. Playing chicken so I would stop pounding on him. The moment I stopped, he'd get right back up and start hurting ponies again. He'd shove me into another, more terrible dimension and go right back to his old tricks. No more. Never again. He wouldn't hurt my wife. He wouldn't hurt my sister. He wouldn't hurt my children. He wouldn't hurt my subjects. He wouldn't hurt anything ever again.
"ANTARES!" a voice from behind me cried. A familiar voice. One I'd wanted to hear more than any other over the past week.
Celestia.
I felt magic wrap around my barrel and pull me back, stopping my assault on Discord. What the Tartraus?! Didn't Celestia understand that I needed to do this to keep us safe, or had she fallen for his tricks? I canceled out the spell and tried to fly right back to Discord, but she pulled me back.
"Don't interfere, Celestia! I have to do this!"
"Antares, you have already done it! Stop, please!"
"He's faking, Celestia. Don't fall for his lies!" I sent out a shockwave of magic that sent Celestia flying back. "Go home and let me end this!"
"It has ended!" Celestia foolishly insisted. "Please calm yourself!"
"Listen to my sister, Antares," Luna said from my other side. I guess she'd fallen for his tricks, too.
"Luna, stay away from him! He's not well. He could hurt the foal!"
I? I could hurt the foal? I was trying to save the foal by making sure Discord couldn't hurt anypony! Or did Celestia want to give him a third chance? I bared my fangs and lit my horn, calling up a wall of rock that blocked me from view. I canceled out Celestia spell once more then flew back to Discord. Just as I reached him, the rock walls beside me shattered, sending pieces flying everywhere. Despite my better judgement, as I didn't want Discord out of my sight for a moment, giving him time to run away, I wheeled around to face Celestia. I could barely see her through the fog of my pain. I narrowed my eyes and flared out my wings.
"Do not interfere. This is for the good of Equestria. I will not have you stopping me out of some misguided desire to give him another chance!" Celestia lit up her horn for another spell, but I shot out a beam of magic directly at her chest. She gasped and managed to conjure up a shield just in time. I didn't want to attack her, I really didn't, but if I needed to to it to keep her safe then so be it. She'd understand when she saw how much better I'd made things.
A beam of magic slammed into my side, sending my flying. I flapped my wings to catch myself in midair before turning to face Luna. I had to be more careful with her because of the foal, but if I needed to stop her as well I would. I sent out multiple whips of fire which wrapped around her ankles and pinned her to the ground. She lit her horn and the fire evaporated, just as Celestia sent another spell in my direction. I easily dodged it before firing one back at her. She flew above it and shot off another spell just as Luna did, leaving two massively powerful spells from the two most powerful ponies in the world barreling in my direction. I raised a shield to block one, then ducked under the other. The force of Celestia's blast shattered my shield instantly, but it was enough that the spell did no real damage.
Why couldn't they just understand what I needed to do?!
Luna shot off another spell and I dodged it once again, but that meant I was unprepared for Celestia's spell. It hit me right in my side. Compared to the pain I was already in, it barely even tickled. I turned on Celestia, ready to fire off another spell but that left me open to Luna's spell. I roared and charged at her, priming my horn for an even more powerful blast. Another spell from Celestia sent me off course.
I'd make them understand. Once they saw how I'd fixed things, they'd be happy for what I'd done. They'd realize I'd done the right thing in the end. Some people don't deserve more chances.
Just as I turned on Celestia again, she took wing and flew upward. "NOW!" she cried, encasing herself in a shield. I tried to fly up to go after her, but just as I did, I felt a beam of magic more powerful than anything I'd ever experienced hit me right in the back. It encased my entire body, blinding me completely when it reached my eyes. I couldn't call it pain. I had no idea what had started happening. In fact, the pain felt like it had started to drip off of me like some shell that began melting.
After a few moments, the force of everything sent my flying forward. I hit the ground and came to a complete stop. The pain continued melting away, eventually fading to a pain akin to getting a small cut. With one more deep breath, even that faded away, leaving me as... me. The lights faded, and I could see again. The first thing that struck me was that the world had returned to normal. I laid on green grass underneath a clear blue sky. The trees had returned to their natural states, and I could even see Canterlot on its usual mountain in the distance. Normally I'd have managed a small smile with that, but now... I'd never been so tired in my life. I couldn't even raise my head.
Luna and Celestia landed beside me while Twilight and her friends gingerly walked up to me, their Elements around their necks. Fluttershy had started crying, and even the rest of them looked like they had thousand yard stares. I vaguely noticed that Fluttershy still had her scar, and Rainbow and Applejack were still missing their leg and eye, respectively. Huh, guess the Elements couldn’t heal that. I managed to flick my gaze up to Celestia. A pang went through my heart when I saw her teary eyes. I took a deep shaky breath in.
"Oh no," I whispered.
"Antares..." Celestia sat beside me and ran a hoof down my neck. "Are you feeling well?"
"I..." I squeezed my eyes shut in a vain attempt to stop the tears. "I... oh no."
"It is alright." Celestia gently laid her wing over my back. "Tell me, did Discord touch you at all when he sent you away?"
"Uh..." I tried to think back to when he'd shoved me through the portal. Yeah, that sounded right. "Yeah, he did. Put his hand on my chest and said he'd be able to find me now."
"I see. That confirms my suspicion." Celestia laid down beside me and gently nuzzled my head. "He infused you with chaos magic, which mixed with the small particles of dark magic still lingering in your wounds. I was foolish not to consider that we might not have removed all of it. When you combine those two elements with your overwhelmed state..."
"I see." I gathered my strength and slowly pushed myself up to a sitting position. My head started spinning, so I almost fell back down, but I managed to steady myself. "So how did you find me?"
"It was not difficult, given the effects of your battle," Luna said, taking a seat on the other side of me. "We have been trying to confront Discord for some time, but every attempt was met with him running away. He could not take the Elements for himself, so he avoided us at all costs. We thought we'd found the perfect distraction when we found out you'd returned. Our plan was to hit him with the Elements once again, but..." Luna glanced in the direction of where Discord laid. I tightened my jaw and made a point of not looking in that direction.
"I... I killed him, didn't I?"
"I'm afraid so," Celestia said, nuzzling me again. "That much black magic would have killed anything. Do not blame yourself, Antares. You were not in control."
"Yeah, I was," I whispered. "I could have stopped. I wanted to kill him. Ever since he forced me back to Earth, I wanted nothing more than to see him dead."
"We will discuss that later," Celestia said, nuzzling my neck. "For now, let us return to Canterlot. You must rest. I will retrieve Nymeria."
I managed a weak smile at my daughter's name. "How is she?"
"She is well," Celestia said, helping me to my hooves. "We had her in hiding with my captain of the guard and his family. She will be happy to see her father again."
"Yeah, it'll make me feel better to hold her. I think we both need it."
Just then we heard quiet crying in the silence. I looked at Fluttershy to see if it was her, but, while she did have tears coming from her eyes, she wasn't sobbing.
"It's coming from behind that tree," Twilight said, pointing to the nearby tree.
Oh, right.
Celestia took wing and landed beside the tree. She sat down with that motherly smile of hers and levitated Kristen over to her, wrapping her in her wings.
"Shh, it's okay, my little pony," Celestia soothed, gently nuzzling her. "It is all over now."
"What the heck just happened?" Kristen whispered. She looked up to Celestia and groaned.
"Prince Antares is fine, my dear. He will not become like that again, I promise. Tell me, what is your name?"
"Uh, Celestia?" I uneasily cleared my throat and walked up to the pair. "This... this is my sister."
"Sister?!" Twilight and Rarity said at the same time.
"Yeah, she jumped through the portal after me. So, um... yeah, you're holding your sister-in-law."
"Oh." Celestia blinked in surprise. "Oh, I see."
I managed a weak smile as I sat beside the two. "So, sorry you had to see that. It's um... lots of bad magic and stuff. Celestia's right, it won't happen again."
"This is all so... stupid! You're stupid, he's stupid, she's stupid, those necklaces are stupid..." Kristen wiggled out of Celestia's grasp and began pacing, her wings flapping uneasily. "You're all stupid!"
"Yeah, I'm a little dumb." I wobbled slightly. "Can we talk about how stupid I am later?" I looked in the direction of Canterlot. "I need to see my daughter again."
* * * *
We all made the trip to Canterlot after that. Kristen tried to fly alongside me, but we realized pretty quickly that she'd need some flying lessons. She didn't want to ride on my back at first, but I pointed out that it was either that, riding on Celestia or Luna, or walking the whole way. The trains wouldn't be up quite yet. She opted to go with me.
After dropping Twilight and her friends off at Ponyville, with promises from all of them that they'd come see us, we made it back to Canterlot in about an hour. I heard mutters from the ponies around us about me, but I didn't really want to deal with that. I'd make some big statement about it later. Right now all I wanted was food, sleep, and to hold my daughter again. Nothing else mattered.
We made our way to the palace dining rooms, while Celestia sent for Nymeria. It took a little longer than normal for the chefs to get us something, and when they did deliver, it struck me as a little bare, but food was food. I instantly dug in. Kristen eyed the food with some suspicion, but she finally managed to eat some fruit. Eventually Celestia's guard captain came in with Nymeria on his back. I didn't say anything. I merely levitated Nymeria over to me and held her close. Nymeria cooed and nuzzled my chest, which got a smile from me, but otherwise I said nothing. I just held on to my daughter as if we were the only two ponies in existence.
* * * *
I stared out into the night sky through the window. I'd returned. I didn't need to worry anymore. Discord wasn't going to hurt me or anypony else again. My wife slept beside me, my daughter close by. Kristen's room was the closest one to ours. Everything should have been fine. I'd gotten everything I'd wanted.
I'd brutally killed Discord.
My parents were alone.
I'd actually attacked my wife and the mare pregnant with my second child.
I'd gone into such a primal state that they had to cleanse me with the Elements of Harmony.
Why did it feel like nothing had gone right?
"You look like you're thinking."
I raised my head and grimaced when I saw Death standing next to the window. He smiled and gave me a little wave. I sighed and put my head back down. "What do you want?"
"To congratulate you. You're back and all is right with the world."
"No it isn't," I muttered. I raised my head again and glared at him. "Did you only bring me back to kill Discord?"
Death snorted and shook his head. "No, that was just a happy result for me. I'm not the only one not of this world that wanted you back. You fit into the grand scheme here too well to just disappear like that." Death happily sighed and a faraway look appeared in his eyes. "As for Discord, you have no idea what you've done for me. A being that twisted time and space for his own ends and mocked the truth at every turn. I've waited tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of years for this day. Today I escorted Discord, lord of chaos, through the Shadowlands. For that I thank you."
I grunted. "Right. You're welcome. Whatever." I sat up a little more when a thought struck me. "Where did he go? After you walked with him. Paradise? Tartarus?"
Death shrugged. "I'm not the judge of such things. I am merely the escort to that judgement. Maybe you'll find out someday. Maybe you'll never know. Who knows? Life is full of mysteries like that." Death nodded and straightened out his jacket. "Best not trouble yourself with them. You're here now, you've done it, and you have a nation to take care of, as well as a family. There is so much more to do than trouble yourself with the events of one day. Ask your wife about that. She's lived for a very, very long time. You'll have more days like today. You'll have more days of every kind. Looking back at today leaves you unprepared for the rest of them." With that, Death tilted his head in a small bow. "I look forward to seeing what the future brings. Even I can't see all things. Like I said: educated guesses only. Although..." Death grimaced. "Acts like yours today always have consequences. Always."
Before I could say another word, he vanished, leaving me to my thoughts. I sighed and rolled over, draping my leg over Celestia and nuzzling her neck. She gave a noise of contentment and grabbed my hoof, holding it close. I managed a small smile before closing my eyes and letting sleep take me.
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Ya a new chapter. Thank you for feeding my addiction.
Discord just died like that? Well, that's a bit unsatisfyingly anticlimactic for such a powerful being.
(I'd need to think long and hard to come up with a more suitable option that still fits the needs of the narrative, but it still feels unsatisfying nonetheless.)
Mm...that outcome with Discord... you have satisfied me in every way sir. I'm off to have a cigarette and a cold shower.
so discord had played with fire and is now ashes
7996864 Yeah, me too, apart from the way Celestia responds.
That kinda smacks of disapproval to me and that really pisses me off, the fact that they just wanted to give him another time out in the statue garden after everything he's done, time and time again is maddening. The ponies just never learn, they are so bloody saccharine it makes me sick.
Yeah, it may just be me reading into it too much, it's only five words after all but that part kinda ruined my high.
7996864 took the words right out of my mouth
-rip and tear-
Nightmare Antares is best pony
7996901
Agreed!
7996892 I think for her part she was just drained. She'd been living under the rule of Discord for a week, her husband disappeared, she had to put her daughter in hiding, and then when her husband returns, he brutally kills Discord and goes completely primal/nightmare to the point where they actually have to fight each other, after which she has to have him hit with the Elements. Heck yeah she doesn't want to deal with it all right then and there.
7996913 Can't see the image. Followed the link and got a blank page.
7996863
He literally managed to kill himself by tainting Antares. Ordinary pony magic, even an alicorn's wouldn't have likely done the trick but the combination of the various forms of contamination left it something Discord couldn't just snap his claws and make go away, plus the torment was maddening enough to cause him to snap and use it lethally, warping JD to the point of needing to be whammied with the Elements.
The lesson of the day: At the end of it, it's a human in a pony body, not an Equestrian. Mess with at your own risk, human Princes are not all-kindly Equestrians.
Well.... It's what happens when you piss off people enough.
Discord had this coming since a long, long time ago.
7996920
Weird, just clicked it after reading your comment and it worked for me, its from pirates of the Caribbean when Barbarossa says Agreed!
7996916
Ok then, so it was just me reading to much into it good to know.
Battle High II - Revengeance
Never expected anything like this O.O
7996926
That may be so, but it says nothing about how that detail is presented. Whether something is anticlimactic is all about how it's presented.
In this case, we spent a book-ending cliffhanger, plus over 20,000 words building anticipation for what was going to happen, and then it's over in a handful of paragraphs, because of something that was completely un-foreshadowed. I spent a while after Discord's death, waiting to hear how he wasn't really dead because it felt sort of like if, when Frodo encountered Shelob, she had instead said "Are you Frodo Baggins? Yeah, Sauron slipped in the bathtub and died this morning. You can go home now."
7996955
Oh, that I agree with. The explanation happens well after the action- it might have worked better if things had been a bit more gradual and we'd gotten a bit with the Elements/Celestia/Luna explaining things, Antares beating Discord into the scenery while we're getting the info, etc.
You'd have to kill Discord pretty darn fast for the purpose of succeeding, though. Otherwise, he'd teleport away.
Mind ponders...
The people of Equestria will cheer and welcome back Antares with open arms\hooves after the chaos spirit has been destroyed and is no longer a threat. It also ensures to the other nations after this and the war where rulers will tell their successors "DO NOT FUCK WITH THE PONY PRINCE! DON'T!" in harsh whispers. He'll become a Legendary being that people will love and fear. Who knows if he'll reveal the truth to them that he went Nightmare and had to be Elemented though after the taint of the spears with dark and chaos magic. Best not to reveal that and say it was a show of brute power and strength. Keep it mysterious and the populace trembling.
Damnit Kristen! Why did you jump in after him?! Oh shit, and it's going to be impossible to take her back, much less be able to communicate that Kristen is okay or he could speak to his birth parents. Discord was the only one who could potentially comply and do as what TD wished, but that's gone. Death might, but good luck getting him to stop by... unless there's a living sacrifice... Nopenopenope. Too morbid. So she's stuck there for the time being. Goddamnit, I hope Rainbow can teach her well or one of the guards. Wait. She's... technically Royalty being blood related to the Prince. Well, she won't be without privileges and perks. Just clop a hoof upside her head for being a dumb girl... mare... thing, whatever. Just enjoy being a Duchess and take care of your new Niece.
This also raises more questions. So he was fated to be an Equestrian this whole time but a bunch of contrivances from his birth to now forced him to become this god king? I think TD would go to Fate itself, grab it by the collar and yell, "The fuck are you doing?!" Seriously, from what Death has said, there's just way too much mystery here and TD is somehow the linchpin in everything for millenniums to come. Gah!
Also need to know what hell has been happening and how the regular populace have been doing under TD's rule this entire time. Would be well to have some decent slice of life, if that's possible. This has been a roller coaster of emotions and I want to get off.
Fuck you BronyWriter for making me care too much about this story.
7996955 Hmm. I'll try to add more. Not sure I can agree with your Sauron analogy. Antares pounded on him. Discord didn't just trip. Antares just about tore his head off.
7996965
The Sauron analogy was just an attempt to illustrate relative levels of dramatism in the build-up and resolution. It's been too long since I read fic with a good example of an anti-climax that I could use for inspiration.
While I do seriously hope that you can fix things, I've been thinking deeper on this and the conclusion I've been coming to is that it's just not narratively possible for Antares to be the cause of Discord's defeat at this point in the story arc.
First, given how the last story ended, there are two possible things which feel like they could acceptably serve as the driving conflict (the conflict which, when you've solved it, it's all over but the epilogue):
A. The quest to get back to Equestria. (This is what feels most plausible and reasonable, given what the story was doing until Death showed up)
B. The quest to defeat Discord.
The reason it worked in Five Score is that the Bearers, who we already know are a threat to Discord, weren't back in Equestria the whole time and Discord's defeat was the end of a full story arc, not the beginning of a first act.
Here, it's been paced as if TD was going to come back to find that the Bearers defeated Discord off-camera, just in time for either TD to find his way back or for Celestia and co. to track him down.
(In Five Score, they're collecting what they need to beat Discord from the very beginning... they just don't realize it. Here, with the Bearers still in Equestria and TD just starting to access the most rudimentary of magic, it feels like the only thing that it's properly paced for is a "quest to return to Equestria" story.)
Now, for a drop on perceived story quality, Option B does allow TD to return to Equestria via what, in hindsight, feels very much like Grim Reaper ex machina, but, even then, there's no build-up to Justify TD as having any significance to the defeat of such a major threat. Assuming the last ~27,000 words were act one, he still needs to spend at least that long in at least one act (act two) justifying hist "threat to Discord" status to the readers.
That said, there may be an option C which preseves your Reaper ex machina (though, again, even less satisfying)... recast things as a "person vs. fate" conflict where "fate" has removed the option to "out of sigh, out of mind" the lack of closure for his life as TD. Then, the story becomes about the hero trying to find some way to be both TD to TD's family and Antares to Antares's family. (In that interpretation, the fact that Kristen came through the portal becomes a focus of the story, rather than the Samwise Gamgee-esque role she'd take in option B.)
Even then, I still think it'd feel more natural to follow a typical 3-act structure that breaks down like this:
Act 1 (20,000 to 30,000 words): TD's main concern is trying to keep his former whereabouts secret.
Act 2 (40,000 to 60,000 words): TD's family knows where he was. His main concern is trying to get back to or back into contact with Equestria.
Act 3 (20,000 to 30,000 words): TD's family now realizes that his staying with them is not a given. He has to somehow reconcile two separate lives with two separate familities.
That would also lend nicely to "After 60,000 to 80,000 words, it's not so easy to just say 'goodbye' to your old family anymore, is it?" if you found that useful. (Which would tie nicely back to how it all started... a "person vs. fate" conflict-starting event took "Prince Antares can just leave his life as TD Powell as a closed book and move on" off the table.)
wow that was resolved pretty quickly. Figured it would take a little longer then that not that I mind, Discord as a ruthless villain has been way overdone but still surprised to see it end just like that.
That was rushed.... but i guess it kinda makes sense since it was his magic that did it?
7997034 I think of this in another manner: If Discord went down so fast, he was just a prelude of things to come. He wasn't meant to be the main villain of this one, unless Death of lying about him being dead. Whatever comes next is going to be FAR worse then he was, and will likely be able to exploit the HELL out of Anatares now that black/chaos magic is in the mix- after all, the elements may not have been able to get all of it out of him.
7997034 recentteen14 has the right of it. Keep in mind that I see the end goal here. There is a lot of this story I have planned. In terms of the actual fight I do plan on adding some more to see if that helps, but in terms of Discord being the overarching villain of the piece, that was never my intention.
For a moment... The idea that Discord even dead, can return and somehiow resurrect himself come to my head...
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7997115
The problem is that, before Death showed up, you spent about 20,000 words convincing us that the conflict would have nothing to do with some kind of big villain outside of Discord, because there was no foreshadowing of the requisite tones within your first act
(EDIT: and your pacing suggested the act structure I gave at the bottom of my previous comment)
To change it now feels unsatisfyingly schizophrenic.
(It all comes back to "you can't just seem to be building one arc, then chop it off that abruptly," which has the same flaws as the classical deus ex machina and for the same reasons.)
7997122
EDIT: Underlined passage was refined
I should probably clarify that last post. No matter what you plan instead of making Discord a big villain, Death is a deus ex machina in just about the purest possible sense of the word. Aside from a single mention ages ago, he exists completely outside the narrative and shows up to enact an action without warning and in a way far too convenient for the author.
Aside from not happening near the end of the story, It checks off every point I've ever seen given in every Hellenic and Renaissance criticism I've ever read about it being the tool of an incompetent author.
EDIT: And I say this because you've shown yourself to be very competent in the previous stories, so I really don't want to see you making such a novice mistake.
7997056
That is if we assume Discord is REALLY done for the count, like they say he leave a part of him in TD, it mutated and maybe break the connection with him so he couldn't used it…but what is to say that its not still present? like the seeds he plants?
Maybe its just a matter of time before the harmony blast fade in Discord can 're connect' the link and used TD to bring himself back into existence.
Je maybe he just decided to piss off death and we are just seeing part 1 of his big scheme
It reminded of the scene in the Prisoner of Azkaban, when Peter Pettigrew was exposed, and he tried to get on Harry's good side by mentioning James, enraging Sirius.
Sirius: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT HIM!
7996989 I have a tendency of stress-reading. If I see a huge block of text without dialogue, I tend to skim over it.
I don't like that I do it, and it can leave me very confused at times. For instance now. I completely missed Discord's death. One moment he was scared of Antares, the next he was pierced and not "faking" his death.
I don't think that I should miss a huge thing like that even if I'm skim-reading.
All in all it felt anti-climactic that he died that quick.
But it doesn't matter too much though, I loved everyrhing else in this chapter.
Awesome! TD is back home and he showed that puny god Discord why you don't piss off a human father with the power of an alpha alicorn.
Are we going to see a Kristen centric chapter in the near future? I'm eager to see her reactions to all that her brother has accomplished since he first arrived in Equestria. I'm also looking forward to seeing some interactions with her and some of the ponies TD has come to know in his new life. Including Blaze, Rapids, Tulip, and of course her new sister-in-law and niece.
Wasn't all that surprised you removed Discord quickly. When you introduced him at the end of The Prince, I figured he was only there to move Antares to Earth. Writing a whole story about Antares' vengeance quest seems so unlike you. Although it seems I'm in the minority judging by the comments.
7996864
You and I both know that the cold shower won't work.
7997134 It could also be a note of "everyone can die". One of the bearers lost a leg, another an eye and teetered on the brink for quite some time. A Great War killed tens if not hundreds of thousands. A lucky soldier nearly killed antares by shooting him with a freaky crossbow bolt. It is nothing new in this story.
Discord's despair & Antares (brief) fall to darkness carry much more weight in the possible future of this story than a hundred thousand words of a father's angst on not being able to be with his wife and daughter.
Honestly, that arc of this story was running too long already. Discord's death/defeat would be a brief thing anyway. They took what, one episode to imprison him on the series? It wouldn't be any good to keep it going too long for nothing. At most the time would be skipped to the final fight, with some non-related fluff in between. This way it was considerably more brutal and raw, making the psychological consequences on the bearers - fluttershy specially. She's going to be hit by this, HARD. And that makes for quite a better story possibility than a hundred thousand words of TD on earth messing with magic and getting in shenanigans with humans.
On a somewhat unrelated note, Discord's death hit me hard. It was rather heart-wrenching to see such a sudden change of tone in such a brutal way, brutal and final. The characters reactions did drive it home further, this was a brash act with far-fetching consequences.
That is, until death appeared again at the end. Death does lose some of it's value when you know for certain there's something beyond. It still bears heavily on those that remain, but what about it? He was a gargantuan prick that had no one to cry on his tombstone. Except for flutters that is, but she's kindness. The other's reaction was more about what antares did, not to whom.
Still heart-wrenching, but did lose some of the impact. Oh well.
Moar when?
7997288
I'll accept the "anyone can die" interpretation as a possibility. (I'll freely admit that I'm uncertain of my own ability to judge successful use of that twist.)
However, I fully agree with what Xarsor said...
...and it still doesn't address the fact that the use of Death to bring TD back to Equestria checks all of the boxes for deus ex machina and, until that happened, the story gave a very strong impression that it was going to follow this structure:
Anyway, moving on to your next point...
In writing, actual causality is often the reverse of perceived causality and this is one such case. Discord's defeat and the relative flow of time between the two timensions will work out to however long it needs to for the sake of the story.
There are a ton of plausible excuses that can be made for Discord's defeat to take longer. (From the in-universe stuff, such as "Discord already went afterTD. Who knows what else he'll do differently?" to the storytelling stuff like "What's the maximum amount of time that could have been skipped during each camera cut in canon?")
Again, I have nothing against this... I just don't think it works very well when it follows the 20,000 words that have already been written.
That's part of the problem. It happened so quickly and with so little build-up and framing that all I felt was "Wait... what? Let me go back and re-read that. There must've been something I missed."
That's a guaranteed immersion-breaker.
Well.. that happened.
Double Deus Ex Machina solution in 10 seconds flat. Death shows up and drags TD back with absolute ease, then TD gains ultimate Dark Magic-Chaos power and kills Discord... I'm reminded of the Season 6 finale for shoving so much WUT? into so small a space.
7997288
Ping!
(I just realized I posted my actual reply from the story frontpage, which means the notifications would've gotten eaten by that fimfic bug.)
Huh, so discord's fuckin' dead.
I hope he comes back, that'd be interesting.
7997094 But that means we're going to have to deal with things MORE powerful that Discord AND Death in order for it to seem a plausible threat.
Which means we're going into Dragon Ball Super levels of ridiculous powergaming. Which tends to be where I table flip and say "NOPE!"
The only time I appreciate the ever-mounting 'power level' stuff and gods popping out of every orifice is when it's a JOKE! The notion becomes preposterous at some point and deserves to be parodied.
There's a reason most great authors avoided directly including 'gods' into their novels: there's very little they plausible CAN'T do without activating all manner of bad tropes to limit them artificially for the sake of plot contrivance. They tend to be very dull characters as well.
Who's taking bets the new Lord of Chaos is Luna's unborn foal?
7997288 Remember Discord in the TDverse is nothing like the show version, he's sadistic to the extreme psychologically/physically torturing TD when he got his hands on him to the point where he broke him I don't think even Flutters is gonna cry over his tombstone.
As much fun as it would be to have Kristen along for the ride, it must really suck for TD's parents right now.
Not only are they dealing with losing TD for the second time and their daughter, they're going to have to deal with the media frenzy when others get wind that the famous disappearing guy is gone. Again. Plus one.
7997208 I'm okay with this considering Discord is wholly unlikable in the TDverse
Well, I gotta say I was expecting Discord to last a bit longer than that. I thought he'd at least get his own story arc. That said, I love this version of Death, especially how happy he is whenever he gets to work with an "immortal"
That seemed a bit anti-climactic. I mean, yea. Everything's all hunky-dory for now, but I assume something else is coming up. And for now we have his sister ditzing around as a pony for a while. The issue I can see with this is he's going to want to send her back, and his portal might not be as clean as Discord and Death's portal, nor would it likely change her back to her human form (it's always easier to add ingredients to a soup than it is to take them away, after all. Soup in this case being Kristen and ingredients being magic). There's a very real possibility of a "First Contact" situation in the future. Even if it doesn't go that way, I can see someone making an attempt to harness that energy Antares was throwing around in his home.
Oh, and this line bothered me. I don't think it's actually wrong, but it sounds funny.
'And frankly I do, too' or 'I do, as well' sound better, but that's just me.
7997348
7997363 Just wait a bit, please? I'm going to add more stuff to the Discord fight, and I have plans for this story, I promise. I made it a little quicker to showcase the sheer brutality of what he was doing to Discord, but I didn't go into a lot of detail as to what exactly was happening because even Antares wasn't totally sure. Or at least, he didn't care. He was in such a bloody haze.
As for the black/chaos magic being an ex machina, it's not an ex machina if it's been set up beforehand. In both Alicorn and Prince I gave hints that he wasn't totally cured of the black magic, and in the last story we saw Discord do something to Antares. He put his hand on his chest and said something to the effect of "now I can find you wherever." Even beyond that, Death has made it quite clear that there is a bigger plan for Antares. He's helped out Antares before. Usually for his own ends, too, but you know...
I don't know why I burst out laughing after seeing Discord brutally slaughtered but I did does that make me a bad person cuz I think it makes me a bad person
Discord's death will probably have consequences. Just about every fic that has him killed off has something bad happen because of it. My personal guess is that someone will have to take his place, and the two most likely candidates are Antares...or Kristen.
7996863
7997056
7997068
7997349
7997508
7997514 Okay, I extended the fight between the two a little more, and added something at the end with Death and Antares. Hope that helps.
well I did not see this coming for a few more chapters.
now I am really wondering ware this is going to from hear.
a vary good chapter.
7996920
refresh the page.