• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Undome Tinwe


Take my soul, my heart, and body, yes, I give it all to you/And if you still won't accept it, you're gonna regret it

T
Source

Professor Twilight Sparkle has spent her adult life trying to forget the follies of her youth, and the fiery sorceress whose betrayal shattered her heart.

Sunset Shimmer has built an empire of steel and science in memory of the otherworldly power she once wielded, and of the soft-spoken scientist she once called "friend."

Now, fifteen years after the disaster which tore their bonds asunder, a new threat will force these two former friends to reunite in order to save both worlds. And as the past collides with the present, Sunset and Twilight will learn that even in a world without magic, friendship and love still have the power to do the impossible.


Set after Legend of Everfree. Later Equestria Girls stories aren't necessarily canon to this timeline.

Pre-read by ChudoJogurt.

Cover art by Kare Valgon.

(2018-25-04) Featured on Equestria Daily!

Story has been written and will update weekly until completion.

Chapters (24)
Comments ( 233 )

just call it harvard not hayvard this is the human world the horse puns dont make any sense it makes it look like you dont know english to use the horse puns in the real world

8779596
Then explain why the cities are still called the same and the school is called Canterlot High school.

just a note but human RD's biggest passion is music not sports or flying or the like

Very cool story. I usually prefer princess twi/ Sunset. But this is a great setup.

Congratulations on finally getting this out! Sorry I never got around to doing any editing.

Still, I enjoy what I've read so far, and am looking forward to seeing where this goes.

i get why scitwis pendent is there but why are the rest of them why wouldnt they keep theres

8779611

when have we even heard them mention a city beyond canterlot in EG?

Good to know it's finally out, pal.
Let's see what a year or so in the making can produce.

As a Sci-Twi+Sunset shipping fan, I LOVE this idea, hope they can heal each other and be finally together...

Instant Fav

Will the events that caused the rift between Sunset and Twilight be released in a flashback or something?

Solid opener. You give us a good grasp on how things have changed without going overboard.
The only thing which bothered me a bit was the sections of just back and forth dialogue. I feel you could’ve used those moments as a chance to get some inner monologue on Sunset’s part, right now it feels kinda dry.
But hey, great first chapter nonetheless.

thank you for such afine story.the way you wrote the girls feelings and emotions is so outstanding. well done to you.

The suspense of wanting to know what broke Twilight apart from the rest of the group is killing me. :pinkiecrazy:

I’ve got to give you credit for hitting the balance on referencing whatever it is that happened between them subtly enough so it doesn’t come out as annoying.

I think Twilight would prefer DIE (or she believe so) over being saved by Sunset...

Whatever happened... Sure was really hard, yet I hope they can heal themselves and be together at the end. Tension os REAL

I like this story so far. Interesting setting. It seems like the story will probably be quite long. I'm glad it's already written, but expect many weeks of waiting :raritydespair:
Luckily I only had to wait 10 hours for the first update :rainbowlaugh:

I'll have to read your other stuff too. And it looks like you only write for good ships :P

Story has been written and will update weekly until completion.

How long will that take?

Hmm, so Starlight does have access to everything and so far in this she hasn't done anything bad? So, she might still do something bad.... maybe.

Waiting to learn the story behind Twilight and Sunset's rift is driving me crazy. :pinkiecrazy:

Picture is getting clearer. Twilight convinced the others to close it permanently. Because the magic leaking in was causing problems. And Sunset was left permenently cut off from her original home and friends. Made worse because she had made up with Celestia and Her and princess twilight were close. Something tells me jealousy might have played in Sci-Twi's decision though... also Starlight Glimmer.... Something tells me she does or use to have a crush on Sunset. Or maybe they used to date?

Comment posted by MEGA LM ShiroHige Pony deleted Apr 4th, 2018

Gloriosa really needs to do something about that eye twitch.

At the moment, the girls I hate the most in this story are Starlight and Gloriosa

Thanks for the update :3

ugh why can't they just be happy. ugh this is really good, but I just want happiness

Sunset, get over your :yay: greed already. Ugh, no improvement in sight.

"Hmm... can't say I remember anything weird, unless you count really terrible singing by people who think they're actually good." Timber replied. "Sorry, but it was kinda hectic."

That sounds like the Dazzlings.

Wow...

With each chapter I'm more with Twilight's opinion. And she was very kind with Gloriosa, so I can't still hate her... (I mean, hating Gloriosa).

Starlight is another story (unless more chapters prove me wrong)

I mean, bring magic to a non magic world has proven to be a mess (Look at Guilty Gear and BlazBlue)...

8784803
I agree with the need for some inner thoughts to spice up the confrontation. That said, this is a good ending note to keep the story going. Let's see what's behind door nber two.

8779596
The fucking High School is literally called Canterlot. Eat garbage.

8871193
I don't think it's greed driving Sunset. Because of Twilight's crusade, she had a vital part of her ripped out in the loss of the portal. Gloriosa even calls it as much in the way she describes her glen. Yes, Sunset's profited from what's left and built herself a good life, but that's like making money off developing prosthetics and fake nerves after losing limbs. So Twilight may have relented to Gloriosa, but she's still being incredibly spiteful in the way she's handling what Sunset does.

8879632
dude relax no need to be a jerk i share my thoughts

8879826
Lol relax he says. "You look like you don't know English because you use horse puns." The entire show is a damn house pun.

And you, author, need to give me more, because i have a fever and the only prescription is more sexual tension between our favorite pair of brainiacs.

8880021
yes in equestria they work in the human world they dont

and all i did was politely shared a critique of this fic (that i find good) so please calm down

also im a she not a he

8880033
Should I once again reiterate that the School is named Canterlot, and that the team is called the wondercolts? They obviously work very well.

And your gender is irrelevant.

8880114
oh so the city has a horse thing that dont mean it should be used for the entire human world cities in RL have things like that

you told me to eat garbage because i shared my opinion on something

8880807

it makes it look like you dont know english to use the horse puns in the real world

I told you to eat garbage, because you're spitting up stuff that smells like it. Using puns in no way detracts from, or implies towards a lack of, one's ability to speak English, especially when those puns are canonical to the universe that you're writing about. On the flip side, the inability to use punctuation, grammatical structure, and abbreviations like 'RL' does tend to imply exactly that.

8881656


im sorry my hands are messed up and i have trouble typing

8881665
Just saying, don't comment on somebody else's 'ability to speak English' when you can't even compare your own ability to theirs.

8882159
Yes, I'm the troll for pointing out your flaws when you make up flaws for other people. There's a reason your comment was downvoted to oblivion.

8882181
no your a troll because you pointlessly flamed me over having a different opinion which is always treated as a bad thing on the internet

the author clearly did not give a crap about my comment but fine i am sorry undone time if my comment was rude to you i am sorry maybe i was to harsh with how i worded it

now then mini i said sorry to the writer of the story you can stop policing me over this so yes you are a troll as you could have just fucking excepted my opinion was different than yours

8882666
You very clearly have little knowledge of how dialogue works considering you're of the mindset that anybody that doesn't immediately accept your differing 'opinion' and move on is simply a troll.

Stones and glass houses and all that. Have a good day.

8882923
no i called you a troll because the first thing you said to me was to eat garbage i tried to be polite with you and you did nothing but act hostile to me you are the one not trying to have a dialog

you could have politely refuted my post that would have been the none troll thing to do

8882954
To be fair, I misread the tone of your post. I will not, however, apologize, because my point still stands. If you cannot ensure that you have a strong foundation to throw accusations of illiteracy out, then do not do so. One thing I cannot stand is people that cannot even punctuate and form a cohesive sentence criticising others for supposedly not understanding language and how it works. The author, based solely on this story alone, has a much greater comprehension of the English language and how it works than you do, but still you somehow infer that they seem like they don't understand English because they use puns and you just don't happen to like that. It's inane and childish.

For Undome, though, I will end this here, as I'm sure you're tired of getting notifications about this. Keep up the good work. I look forward to what's coming next.

8883540
i explained WHY my punctuation is crap just cus my hands are screwed up and i cant type very well does not mean i cant share my opinions on this kind of thing

fine i was to harsh with my post and im sorry for that but that still dont excuse you for attacking me over it when it was a old post any ways i had forgotten i had even said it oh and just an FYI i live in a town where all the streets are named after ranch stuff including horse things so no canterlot using horse puns dont mean anything

sorry i called you a troll but i dont like getting attacked out of nowhere and then when i try to be polite and civil with the person them still being rude to me

This was a short chapter but Starlight... Daaamn she is a prick

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