The Wacky Wonderful Revolving Door

by Krass McWriter

The Busy Life Of Peridot Thursday (By Chatoyance)

So I guess this is a thing now -krass

T H E C O N V E R S I O N B U R E A U

TheWacky

Wonderful

Revolving Door

The Busy Life Of Peridot Thursday
By Chatoyance

She moved with the grace of a cat, primarily because she was a cat, well, partly a cat. She was an anthropomorphic cat, the result of a dose of quasi-legal underground potion. The unsanctioned private labs - less laboratory and more basement or garage - enjoyed profit from playing with primal fire, specifically the fire of life itself. Any person - and that word, 'person' had become redefined incredibly widely over the last several years - could easily become a proper Griffon, or Human, or Pony, or Dragon, or Diamond Dog, or Alicorn, or Buffalo. But there was a special class of person who could never be satisfied with being a proper anything. No, what they wanted was anthropomorphism, a twisted blend of human and animal characteristics. Ponies that walked upright and who had hands. Humans with the heads of animals, and the tails of animals, and the genitals of animals but the bodies of Men.

They were the lowest of the low, the most despised of the geeks and the freaks and the weirdos and the diaper-lickers and even lower than the fans of pillows with pictures of anime girls on them. The furries. They stalked the internet and howled at the digital moon. And Peridot Thursday was married to one of them.

Only she wasn't Peridot Thursday during those times when she was bothered to be married to Tiger Bronson. He actually was a tiger, of course, well, half of a tiger. He was an anthropomorphic tiger, and he ran the Furskin Club.

The Furskin Club was a hangout for those who preferred the despised Anthropomorphic Lifestyle - 'Theros' they were called or 'Freaks' by most. It was part bar, part restaurant, and part sex club. The front was for eating, and the maze of rooms in the back was for more carnal appetites. There was an entrance fee and a gratuity, up front. Far, far in the back was the 'Kinkatorium' - a secret repository of custom potions that provided anthropomorphic results.

Peridot received a third of her considerable income from her life as Missus Slashclaw Bronson. Tiger was a fierce entrepreneur, and virtually all of his time was spent running his empire - the Furskin Club on 33rd was not the only such establishment, either in town, or on the continent. Furskin was a global enterprise, and though underground, it brought in significant wealth.

That said, Tiger needed his Tender Vittles at least once a month from the Missus, and the Missus needed her creditstick well full to fund her lifestyle. Today was such a day. Tiger snatched Slashy - his pet name for his wife - up as though she were a bag of meat, and flung her into one of the carnality chambers in the back. The door sealed, he leaped upon her and rough, growling sex ensued, filled with snarls and bites and more than a few drops of blood. Tiger was not one for smalltalk, something the missus appreciated. When his animalistic appetites had been sated, Tiger left with a few licks of his long, rough tongue.

Slashclaw raised her despoiled, wounded, felinoid form from the E-Z Clean mattress and growled out the order to sterilize the room as she left. She headed to the showers and washed the mess from her fur. When she had dried, thanks to the industrial blowers provided, she slipped out the back using the secret code. When she was three blocks away, she hailed a pegasus chariot-cab, and gave her destination.

In the air, Peridot reached into the voluminous Adapti-Purse she carried everywhere. The material of her purse could change color and pattern at a signal from the app in her Flatpad. The purse changed from tiger stripes to pitch black with sparkling stars, the alteration rippling over the chromomorphic material like a strange wave in an ocean of fabric.

The flatpad held Peridot's Farley File - a list of who she knew, what she knew about them, and who she needed to be in relation to them.The listing for Tiger Bronson looked like this:

TIGER BRONSON $$$$$ Male
Realname: Jonas P. Fasbinder
BIRTHDAY Oct. 21st. ANNIV: April 13th
YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM
YOU are SLASHCLAW BRONSON
YOU are Feline Futaform Anthrope (Potion FAF-003 from Cat's Eye [address])
HE likes rough sex and growling. Be dominant, then submit.
HE is Conservative and HATES LIBERALS
ERO ZONE: Ears, tail and frenulum
NO-NO: Anus. Bad experience in stir. He pitches, you catch.
NOTE: Get birthday present early. Human-skin Cockring. [Hypernet Link]
PROBLEMS: Few. In and out. No fuss, no muss.

Below, the city rushed past, a little too fast. Peridot asked the pegasai to slow down and take the trip easy. Yes, she understood it would cost more, she had the dosh. Relieved, Peridot settled back again.

What was next? Shopping? No. Peridot sighed. According to her schedule on her Flatpad, it was another income source. Work before pleasure.

Peridot dug through her bag and pulled out her potion case. A touch of the active surface, and it opened, revealing a multitude of the highest grade concentrates. Oh! Silly... she needed to know what she had to become! Peridot checked the Farley File on her fiancee.

CINNAMON SWIRLS $$$ Female
Realname: Candy Drop, AKA Janet Berk, AKA Cinnamon Toast
BIRTHDAY: Jan 3rd
YOU ARE ENGAGED TO HER
YOU are LEAFY GREENS
YOU are Earthpony Mare (Potion R-Standard CHERRY)
SHE likes gentle, shy, pure, kindness
She is Liberal and HATES NO-ONE
ERO-ZONE completely clitorally centered.
NO-NO: Anything male. Militant dyke.
NOTE: Be shy and submissive, but confident at end. She likes thinking she's making you stronger as a mare.
PROBLEMS: Somewhat clingy. See excuse file Gamma.

Oh, good thing for the Farley! Peridot quickly changed her purse to white with pink hearts, and picked out the R-Standard Cherry potion. Peridot downed the potion and slumped in the back of the chariot.

A pegasus was shaking her. "Wake up, ma'am! You're at your destination! See?"

Leafy Greens shook her delicate pony head. Her ears slowly raised with her awareness. "Oh, thank you! I'm sorry if I caused any inconvenience!" She paid the pegasai, and added in a large tip. "Take care! Happy flying!"

Peridot adjusted her Adapti-Purse straps, converting it into saddlebags. She wished she'd remembered to do this back when she had hands. It was a busy day today. With the white and pink saddlebags over her light green back, Leafy was ready to meet her lover.

Cinnamon Swirls ran a noteworthy hypernet site that served mares "Equestrian and otherwise, who see the eternal worth and power of womyn-spirit in both worlds". Her income was significant, because she ironically ran ads for kink materials 'sapping the life-force of those who oppress womyn, in order to raise womyn higher!" was her rationalization. It was thanks to Cinnamon's advertising income choice, years ago, that Peridot had met Tiger in the first place. Only recently had Peridot managed to get Cinnamon to consider marriage. But then, only recently had Cinnamon crossed the vital three $$$ mark minimum required to be of interest to Peridot.

Inside the Marespirit Collective, a large nanofab building designed to look like Equestrian architecture, Leafy Greens met her fiance shyly. Delicately they embraced, and chatted about their day - Leafy's day was invented, and very different than Peridot's in ever respect - and then went for tea and haycakes in the Collective Kitchen.

"Oh, you are such a cutie! Oh, just look at you!" Cinnamon was easily delighted by a few cute blushes and the occasional nervous fumble. Peridot had worked hard to find just the right pattern of behaviors that pleased Cinnamon the most. She loved seeing Cinnamon smile at innocence. It was quite a thrill for the world-weary Peridot.

"Well, I mean... um..." Leafy trailed off, looking over her tea cup at the larger Cinnamon.

"Have you thought about what music you would want for the wedding?" Peridot hadn't considered it at all. She'd been far to involved in... other things.

"Um... well... I thought that maybe... if YOU had a favorite, maybe... if you wanted..."

"Oh, Leafy, Leafy..." Cinnamon was in lecture mode now "you really need to be more assertive! You don't need to rely on others to tell you what you think or want or need or feel! I want you to come up with something you prefer, something you want, and we'll use that, alright! That's what I want. I want you to feel worthwhile and important!"

Peridot thought to herself - what if what I want is to not be bothered with making the choice, then what? - but did not vocalize it. Leafy Greens, on the other hoof, suddenly brightened "Yes! You are absolutely right! I will spend some time and decide for myself! You are so good for me, Cinnamon! Always making me stronger!"

Cinnamon beamed, as usual. That was what Peridot loved about her - Cinnamon really did want to make others stronger. Sadly, whether or not they wanted it, but still, her heart was in the right place.

Nuzzles and chaste kisses later, Leafy Green was off to ostensibly find the perfect components to the perfect wedding, while Cinnamon returned to running her growing Womyn-Spirit Empire. Peridot made a mental note to get Shaggy Sheepster to arrange everything. Sheep potion was brand new and her old strictly-gay friend had embraced the 'Woolen Revolution'. He was fantastic at arranging things. That would take care of it all.

Traveling now by lifting body, Peridot woke up inside the complimentary 'Changing Room' of the aerostat. She had taken Human H-23 XX Geno 14/A/C and found herself in the form of Mika Fergison, her new half Japanese, half Scottish human persona. She hadn't completely worked out the backstory yet, but she liked the look. It wasn't quite as classy as her half Chinese, half African human form, but there was a subtle quality to the style of her Mika self that she appreciated. Not every body had to be dramatic. Subtlety was a dying art, she had decided.

Peridot's Mika persona had been appreciated, however, by an incredibly guapo young man who was her newest toy. Peridot defined her contacts with others into four classes. There were Keepers, like Tiger and Cinnamon, who both satisfied parts of her personal needs, and who also supported her lifestyle, there were Background, the everyday acquaintances and friends-at-arms-length that made up the bulk of the population. Shaggy was a high-level Backgrounder. Then there were Toads, those who caused her problems or who vexed or thwarted her, and lastly, there were Toys. Alfonso Navarro was a Toy, her New Toy, in fact, and Peridot - or rather 'Mika' was quite entranced by him.

ALFONSO NAVARRO $???? Male
Realname: Alfonso?
BIRTHDAY ?
YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HIM
YOU are MIKA FERGISON
YOU are HUMAN FEMALE (Potion H-23 XX Geno 14/A/C)
HE likes YOU. So far. A lot.
HE is AN UNKNOWN, but very pleasing.
ERO ZONE: Find out!!!
NO-NO: UNKNOWN. Be careful!
NOTE: He is unbelievably genuine. Such a sweety!!!
PROBLEMS: Zero so far. He could be Much Fun.
REMEMBER: Don't talk about your past. Not invented yet!

"Mika! It is a delight to see you again!" Oh, that charmer. Peridot had changed her saddlebag back into a purse, and turned it shiny and black. Simple, elegant. She had put on the dress she had delivered by pegasus courier to the airship on route, it too was black, and set off the pale skin of her body well. She had joined Alfonso at the revolving restaurant on the Famous Tower - she couldn't remember what it was famous for, it hardly mattered. Alfonso was handsome, the food was good, and... Alfonso was handsome.

Over drinks and dinner, Mika and Alfonso chatted the empty but pleasant words of a couple deep in infatuation but with little to actually say. There were giggles and laughs, sighs and jokes, and all the standards that were the peculiar dance of human courtship. Peridot rather enjoyed human courtship - Anthropomorphs were very direct, and that was fun sometimes, and Ponies were terribly innocent and delicate, and that was fun other times, but there was something unique about how humans did things. It was a strange tension between desire and denial of desire that Peridot hadn't gotten enough of in recent memory.

"Mika..." suddenly Alfonso seemed strangely serious, in a way that did not match the mood of the evening thus far. "...I wonder if I might speak with you. I have something... I need to tell you."

Peridot wished she could just haul out her Farley File right at the table. It would save a lot of having to remember. "Of course, Alfonso. I want our relationship to be an honest one!" And she did. Peridot was attracted to the simple, plain, naturalness of her new Latin toy. She strongly suspected the plainspoken man was a Plainjane - one of several slang terms for those that never took potion.

"Yes... Alfonso?"

He shifted in his chair at the table, clearly uneasy. "I have come to like you, Mika, very much. And I would like our... relationship..." It was so cute. Alfonso had looked up at here, to make sure that his choice of words was an appropriate one, that Peridot was OK with describing what they had with that term. Peridot gave Alfonso a warm smile, inwardly tickled by his manner.

"... that our relationship," Alfonso repeated the word, now with more confidence "is built upon a solid foundation. To that end, I... well, I feel I must confess something."

Oh, this was just precious, Peridot/Mika thought. Did he once have another girlfriend? Perhaps he was a virgin, and was afraid to admit it. Or maybe he would just admit that he was a Plainjane, and beg her to accept his charming quirkiness. Peridot could not help but lean closer.

"You see, Mika, I have not been entirely honest with you, about my life." Here it comes. The moment was charming, really. "You see before you an ordinary man, a plain man. I am Alfonso Navarro, a man who greatly enjoys your company."

Mika twirled one of the strands of her dark, long hair around her finger.

"But I was not always thus. Two years ago, I was not as you see me now. Once, only once, in my entire life - I swear it - I used 'potion'. Before I was Alfonso, I was known as Butter Churn, and I worked on a farm. I was a native of Equestria, a pony. But the life of a human called to me, and so I made a new existence for myself as you see me now, as Alfonso. I just thought that you should know."

Mika stopped twirling her hair and sat up rigidly straight. How dare he! Peridot had been certain he was the real deal, the genuine article, an authentic Plainjane, pure as the original human genome. The rarest and most exotic sort of person, Plainjanes of any kind were the most sought after companions purely because of their rarity. Alfonso was just another Gene Queen, and at the kiddy end of the gene pool at that.

Peridot stood up, grabbed her bag, and scowled. "It's over, Alfonso - or should I say Butter Churn." She said the word like she was swearing. Peridot turned and began to storm off.

"But why? I thought we had such a wonderful time together? I only wanted to..." Alfonso was heartbroken.

Peridot was so very disappointed and frustrated. She'd been seeing Alfonso for weeks. "How can I trust you? - you completely misrepresented yourself!"

And with that, Peridot stomped away, leaving a disconsolate Alfonso.

Comments

[Richardson]

Downvote for letting Crazeoyance come anywhere near this formerly good thing.

[nemryn]

847282
Eh, I wouldn't go so far as 'crazy'.

[Krass McWriter]

847282

[Richardson]

847448

Anyone who self-interviews is a complete nut. Along with her own raging self-hate, and a host of other issues.

[Firebirdbtops]

I guess turnabout is fair play. One writes in another's universe, the other responds by writing in theirs.

[Krass McWriter]

847475

Did you even READ it? Or did you jusy go 'ewww, chay wrote something! DOWNVOTE!'? I know the awnser.

I did to make sure it was what this universe was about. I do preform checks. Give it a chance for fucks sake.

[Mimicry]

Is down voting without reading any different than all the people who assume bronies are all perverts for liking a little girls show without at least watching it a bit for themselves?

[King Rhaegas Targaryen]

847569 I read it. thought it was meh at best.

The whole anthro thing was slightly creepy. I thought we were supposed to show why we weren't furries, not prove that we are. I never could understand what the attraction is to a mutated half human hybrid that looks like it was designed by the doctor from "human centipede."

plus richardson does have a point about the self-hate thing. although he could have been less of a dick about it*.

but You haven't steered us wrong before krass, so if their is truly some eldritch-reason-that-only-the-outer-gods-know for why you let her writing anywhere near this fic, then I'll trust your judgement and go along with it. i wont like it, but I'll go along and keep my thumb up.

*the irony of this statement is completely lost on me.

[OdinBrony]

through this whole thing Im just thinking how awesome it would be to be a dragon

[Nookie]

847282

Dude you are completely overreacting, I'm not a fan of her TCB work either but this chapter fit the theme of the story and was rather good.

[Krass McWriter]

849261

Thank you, have a cookie.

[Celestial]

Hah, that's our Chat, taking a premise and bringing it to its logical ends
A nice chapter, definitely fitting in with the rest. I'll admit, it's rather blunt in the display of new facts and kinks, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do in a one-shot. Plus as always, the strokes you paint are terribly amusing :D

So far, a nice collection of stories, can't wait for what will pop up next!

[ray10k]

I didn't really like this chapter all that much. The other chapters had a little more cheerful feel to them, and I find it rather jarring to go from potion-pranks to dark-and-edgy in the space of a single chapter.

[Dafaddah]

Hey 847569,

Prepare for the slings and arrows of anthology. Some readers are only going to be happy with gore, some with ships, and others with clop. But the world you've invented here is so broad and has so much potential for fun and mayhem that I hope a lot of authors from all fic categories might want to give it a go and submit a story.

Looking forward for more!

[Krass McWriter]

849420
I felt Modern Wargames was darker than Peridot Thursday. One has a floozy and the other has people shooting each other with real bullets for fun.

843396
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5565_medium.jpg

[Waterpear]

oh gods it's a Chatoyance story BURN IT!!!1!!1

In all seriousness, I find this story meh. There's no real plot, just two expository scenes that set up an ironic scene at the end. I mean, I like what's there, but this story just doesn't have much besides world-building.

[Da Bunnana King]

Sheep potion? Dear god it must of been invented by the New Zelanders or the Welsh... whelp I better find some velcro gloves I mean... shit where are those gloves.