Chapter 2
Applejack seemed in a daze as she stumbled down the stairs. Her mind swam and, as much as she tried to fight it, kept returning to that image. The image of Rainbow Dash standing before her, distraught, in pain, bleeding… it was too much. Applejack shook her head, flinging it from side to side in a desperate bid to clear her vision of what she had seen, but to no avail. It seemed burned in. Her thoughts kept returning to it. It stung her as it swirled through her subconscious. Again and again, the sight of a stream of the deepest crimson, set against cyan fur, flashed across her mind's eye. Applejack let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding in; it came as a ratcheting gasp.
Her hooves struggled to find their place on each step, as if her she was no longer controlling them. Her mind seemed absent as it desperately tried to stave off the grim reality that she knew could be the only explanation for what had happened, and the numbing pain that came with that realization. She made it down the last few steps with her eyes closed, purely on instinct.
"Applejack… Applejack… Applejack…" Twilight's words echoed in her ears. Applejack could hear the concern in her voice. She opened her eyes. The room swam before her, the blurry figures of her friends drifting in and out of focus as she blinked, trying to re-establish her senses. She felt distant, as if her friends were standing far away. Twilight's voice sounded muffled. Applejack's mind, as her vision, was a blur, with too many thoughts competing at once for attention. She didn't understand what was going on. Nothing was making any sense. "APPLEJACK!" Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie jumped back into focus and Applejack snapped back to attention. "Applejack. Is everything okay? What's wrong?"
Silently, Applejack's mouth fell open and closed again several times. She tried to form the words in her mind, but they would die in her throat. Nothing she could possibly say sounded right. How could she express what she had seen? What she knew? Her mouth felt dry. She tried to take a deep breath, but it would only come as a series of choking gasps. She coughed.
Twilight's brow twitched upwards in worry. "Applejack, are you…"
Applejack put up a hoof to silence her as she tried to clear her throat. She shook where she stood; her knees felt weak. Finally, she opened her mouth, calming her gasping breaths, and tried to speak. "Ah… Ah…" Her throat seized up, she couldn't do it. She just couldn't do it. But she had to. She coughed again. "Ah… Ah think… Ah think somepony… and Dash… took… Ah think somepony took… took… advantage… o' Dash." The words tasted vile. Applejack felt sick. She tried to breathe; her chest rising and falling shakily as she drew in one short, choppy breath after another.
She looked up as her shakiness subsided, casting her gaze between each of her friend's frozen faces as they stared back at her. Nopony moved. Applejack looked back and forth at them, silently pleading for someone else to say something as the few seconds of silence stretched into hours, and days. Still, the others just stared, shocked, confused, as if they didn't understand. Applejack's mind whirred frantically. Didn't they understand? Of course not. She hardly did either. "Ah… Ah said…"
"Applejack, darling…" Rarity's voice pierced the still air like the fine, sharpened point of a sewing needle. "Surely… surely you can't mean…"
Applejack could only nod. "Yeah, Rarity… Ah do mean."
"But… but surely there must be some reasonable explanation? This just… it just doesn't make sense!"
"Darn it, Rarity, Ah know what Ah saw!" Applejack shook her head from side to side, tears running down her cheeks. "Ah… Ah know what Ah saw."
"But… but maybe you jumped to the wrong conclusion?" Twilight Sparkle spoke up, still nearly frozen in shock. "Please? This can't… this just can't be."
Applejack's tears were now hitting the floor with wild abandon as they fell, completely unchecked. "Ah'm sorry, Twi. But Ah know what Ah saw. There ain't another explanation."
"But… but that… that… that doesn't make s-sense," Twilight stammered, trying to make sense of what her friend had said. "This… this just doesn't happen. Not in Equestria…. Not in Equestria."
Silence reigned among the five friends. The cloud house echoed with the howling of the wind outside and their own unrestrained, quiet sobbing. Rarity looked up from the floor, shaking her head. "We have to do something. We can't leave her up there all alone."
Twilight Sparkle looked over at her fellow unicorn. "What are we supposed to do? I don't… I don't know how to handle this."
"I'm just as in the dark as you are, darling, but doing nothing simply won't do. We need to talk to her, help her, something."
Applejack looked between her two unicorn friends and shook her head. "She locked the door. Ah heard it."
Rarity groaned, staring up the stairs for some time. "We have to do something. We can't just leave her alone up there."
"Ah don't think it's such a good idea, goin' up there. She might not want ta see us." Applejack frowned.
Rarity shook her head, her mane bouncing slowly back and forth. "We can't just leave her up there, alone. Who knows what she could be thinking? If something this horrible has really happened, she needs someone with her. The last thing she needs is to feel alone."
"Well, what are we supposed to do, then? We can't just break into her room." Twilight sighed. "This just doesn't make any sense? How can this happen to her; to us?"
"Ah don't know, Sugarcube. Ah just don't know."
"Applejack," Twilight looked up, "Are you sure you know… are you sure that…"
"Ah wish Ah could say Ah wasn't, Twi. Ah really do." The three fell silent.
"I'll go." A soft voice echoed through the quiet from across the room. Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack looked up in surprise. Fluttershy, visibly shaking where she walked, strode nervously across the room towards them. Nopony said anything. She stood as high as she could and tried to hold her head high despite how obviously shaken she was. The streaks of fresh tears stained her cheeks, but she did not back down. She rubbed at her cheeks with a hoof and blew an errant lock of her pink hair away from her face. "I'll go. She probably has the window open."
Applejack shook her head. "Ah don't know about that, Sugarcube. She might not want visitors. If Ah know Dash, she might not react well."
"I want to go."
Slowly, Rarity nodded. "Do be careful, darling. We don't know what state she might be in. Are you sure you're up for this?"
"I think… I think so."
Rarity glanced towards Applejack and Twilight. Twilight nodded, Applejack just shrugged. Rarity leaned forward to hug Fluttershy, who returned the gesture warmly. Rarity whispered into her ear. "If anyone can treat this gently, it's you, dear. Good luck." Without another word, Fluttershy took off towards the door and flew out into the night. The other girls stared after her for a while, before once again turning back towards each other, all except for Pinkie Pie, who remained silent, lying by herself away from the others, her head down. Applejack glanced over at her and frowned. She noticed both Twilight and Rarity eyeing the unnaturally silent Pinkie Pie as well. "If anything," Applejack whispered, indicating their pink friend, "That's got me worried too."
Rarity just nodded. "I think we've all been fairly well blindsided by this."
Twilight sat down, resting her head in her hooves. "I don't even know what to think anymore." She shook her head as she held it. "How… how can something like this even happen?"
Applejack flopped down next to her unicorn friend. She suddenly felt very tired, as if she had been awake for years instead of mere hours. "Ah don't know, Twi. Ah just don't know."
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The room was dark save for the few waning shafts of soft, blue moonlight that fell across the low wall and floor from the open window. A cool breeze blew in through the open window. On many an occasion previous, this rush of chilled air would have provided Rainbow Dash with the illusion of flying, even while asleep, which was why she often found it comfortable to sleep with both the windows open and her blankets thrown to the floor.
Not this night, however. Rainbow Dash clutched the blankets closer to her face, her snout only barely poking above the fabric. Her eyes widened in fear. The darkness of her own bedroom seemed suffocating, as if it was crushing in upon her, closer... closer... closer.... And then, for one terrible moment, she felt him again, cornering her, coming closer... closer... closer... touching her... pressing into her...
A pool of nervous sweat was collecting under her body, yet she made no effort to remove the blankets and cool down. Instead, she only clutched them tighter, as if they would afford some sort of shield from the outside world. Every little sound, every whistling gust of wind, seemed magnified hundreds of times over to her. Her ears rang with the noise, and she jerked her head around, her eyes wide with fear, desperately searching for the source of the clamor. The rushing of the wind filled her mind, and she could feel it against her face. It felt hot and sickly, as if somepony was breathing on her. No… no… she tried to shut the image away, tried to block her mind to the horrible memory, but it seemed as if behind every gust, somepony blew a breath of hot air her way. And lurking behind every shadow, some stallion was watching, waiting, preparing to pounce. She shut her eyes, shaking her head back and forth. She didn't want to see them. She didn't want to see them leap from the darkness, jump onto her, envelop her, smother her. NO!
Cold sweat ran down her face, mixing with her tears. All around her, she could feel them. They were circling her, singling her out, preparing to strike. She tossed and turned in her bed, tangling herself in her blankets, desperate to keep moving, to keep them away from her. The throbbing pain in her lower body only spiked each time she jerked away, with every thump against the mattress her bruised body screamed in protest. She could feel the pain, like the beat of a drum, resounding against her, as if he was still there, still on top of her, and she could do nothing. It was already too late. She wanted to scream. She whimpered as she thrashed about.
"Rainbow Dash." She could hear him now. He had found her again.
She fought harder. "NO! NO! NO! GET AWAY!"
"Rainbow Dash?"
"No, please, no, leave me alone. Leave me alone!"
"Rainbow Dash? It's me… Fluttershy."
Rainbow Dash came to a sudden halt, tumbling over the side of the bed in a terrified screaming tangle of limbs, tail, and blankets. She lay on the floor, dazed, and panted, staring up at the ceiling with her vision drifting in and out of focus, unable to move. A pink and yellow blur materialized above her, a blur that soon swam into focus, taking the shape of Fluttershy's face. Rainbow Dash blinked several times, disbelieving her eyes, but no, there was no mistaking it. She had known Fluttershy far too long for it to be anypony but her. She squinted up at her, unable even to think for a moment. She tried to speak, but choked on her words, "Fl… Fl… Fluttershy?" She coughed, gasping for breath.
Fluttershy had to fight back tears at the sight of the shaken, distraught pegasus. "Rainbow Dash… please… please tell us what's wrong. We… we want to help."
"No… no…" Rainbow Dash shook her head vehemently, scrambling backwards even as she struggled to move.
Fluttershy stared after her, her face a mask of concern. "Please, Rainbow Dash? We can help."
"No. Nopony can help. Nopony can. No… no… just… leave me… leave me alone." She twisted and turned, finally breaking free of her blanket prison. Then she hopped backwards, receding even further into the shadows near her bed. She clutched against the bedpost for support, barely able to even keep herself on her hooves. Her knees shook. She tried to breathe, but it would only come in short, choking gasps.
Fluttershy panicked. She rushed forward towards her friend. "Please. Let us help you. It's not safe for you to…"
"NO! Leave me alone!"
Shocked, Fluttershy fell to the floor and stumbled backwards. "... to… be alone…" She stared at Rainbow Dash's tear-streaked, harried face. Rainbow Dash was visibly shaking now. Her fur was splayed in random patches and her mane, tail, and feathers were all ruffled to the point where it looked like she had gone through the spin cycle on a dryer. Her bloodshot eyes stared straight back at Fluttershy; pleading, burning, and swollen from tears. For a moment, Fluttershy was torn. She didn't know what to do.
"Leave… leave me alone. Nopony… nopony can help… not now." With that, she collapsed, burying her face into the mattress. Her whole body shook with racking sobs. Fluttershy started forward, bit her lip, turned, and rushed out the window, tears beginning to streak her face, too.
===============================================================================
The cold night air stung at Fluttershy's face as she descended back down to the first floor. She pushed her way through the doorway and settled once again onto the floor. From across the room, Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity all looked up expectantly at her as soon as she entered. Silently, she shook her head, and her friends seemed to deflate. Rarity grimaced as Fluttershy approached. "How bad is it?"
Tentatively, Fluttershy whispered her response. "She's… she's in bad shape. I just… I just can't believe… I can't believe… somepony would... would…" Fluttershy shook her head, unable to continue. Rarity stood up and wrapped her fore legs around her best friend's neck, holding her gently. Fluttershy tucked her head into Rarity's neck, burying herself away in her mane.
Applejack shook her head. "What are we supposed ta do now?"
Twilight Sparkle stood up, "I don't know. What can we do, if she won't even let us near her?"
"Ah don't know." Applejack sighed, "Ah don't even understand. How can this happen?"
Twilight held a hoof beneath her chin, trying to think of something, anything. "Maybe… maybe I should send a letter to Princess Celestia. She'll know what to do."
Rarity nodded. "That's a good idea. This is so far beyond us, anyway."
"Well," Twilight walked towards the door, "there's not much we can do here, and I need to get my letter written."
Applejack stared after her, staying rooted in place. "You're not leavin', are ya Twi?"
"AJ, I need to see Spike, so I have to leave. Besides, what else can we do now?"
"Ah don't know. Ah just feel like… like we shouldn't be leavin' right now."
"I don't know what else to tell you." Twilight looked crestfallen. "I have to go send my letter. It's the only idea we have, and the cloud-walking spell will wear off by morning. I suggest you girls come with me."
Rarity looked up from where she had been studying the floor, still lightly patting a quivering Fluttershy on the back of her head. "Darling, with the state Rainbow Dash is in, it might not be safe to leave her alone."
Applejack stomped her hoof in frustration. "We ain't leavin' her alone."
Twilight Sparkle sighed, unsure what to say. "Applejack, I know. I know you don't want to leave. I don't want to either. But what choice do we have? A letter to Celestia is all we've got, and I can't do it from here."
Applejack looked ready to protest, but was broken off by a loud sniffle. She and Twilight turned back towards the center of the room, where Fluttershy had pulled herself out of Rarity's grasp. "I… I'll do it. I'll stay."
Rarity frowned, still holding her pegasus friend at hooves' length. "Darling, are you… are you…"
Fluttershy nodded vigorously. "Yes. I'm sure." She wiped some fresh tears from her face with a hoof. "I want to be here."
Applejack walked over to the pegasus and gave her a quick hug. "Please, Fluttershy. Take good care o' her. Make sure nothin' happens. She needs you… we all need you."
Twilight nodded sagely from over by the door. She tried to give her yellow friend a wan smile. "Thanks, Fluttershy," she whispered. Then she glanced over at Applejack and Rarity. They both stared back. "We should go." Rarity nodded.
Applejack cocked her head to the side, quickly glancing about the room. Her gaze finally fell upon the final member of their party. She grimaced, realizing for the first time that Pinkie Pie had said nothing nearly the whole time. "Come on, Pinkie. It's… it's time." For a moment, it seemed like the pink pony hadn't even heard her, but slowly, she picked herself up, off the floor, and turned around. Her mane fell around her face as she stood up, hanging straight down, as was her tail. Both Applejack and Twilight shuddered as they saw it. That had only happened once before, and it had meant bad news then, too.
Applejack walked over to her fellow earth pony, hanging a fore hoof over her shoulder to help her along. Pinkie Pie accepted the offer and leaned against her friend. They both slowly walked towards the door, where Twilight Sparkle and Rarity both stood, waiting. On their way out the door, Applejack couldn't help but notice a noise, so low and quiet it could have easily been mistaken for the wind, yet was unmistakable. In between Pinkie Pie's slow, shuddering breaths, Applejack heard her moan. "Dashie…"
========================================================================
Caught up in an aura of purple magic, the quill finally settled against the hard, wooden surface of Twilight Sparkle's writing desk. The unicorn then turned her attention to the faded brown piece of parchment she had been poring over, lifting it to eye level. This was, without a doubt, the most difficult, and probably most important, letter she had yet written to her mentor. She swallowed a nervous lump as she studied her words once again. She had to make sure every word was perfect. After all, this was a matter of most dire importance, and certainly not one she could have trusted to dictate to Spike.
She glanced across the room to where the baby dragon was soundly sleeping in his basket. Twilight sighed. After everything that had happened that night, it seemed so strange that Spike could be sleeping peacefully, undisturbed. It just seemed so normal, when everything else seemed anything but normal. Slowly, she rolled up her parchment into a scroll and strode towards his basket. Gently, she reached out and shook him. Sure enough, the dragon blinked his eyes open and yawned loudly, shaking his head at the unexpected wake-up call. "Tw… Twilight? What's… what's goin' on?"
"Spike," Twilight whispered, "I'm so sorry to wake you up, but I need this letter sent to Princess Celestia."
Spike groaned. "Can't it wait until morning?" He rolled back over onto his other side and tried to ignore Twilight, hoping that she might just let him fall back asleep. Twilight just shook him again. He frowned at her. "I need my beauty sleep."
"I know Spike, and I'm sorry, but this is urgent."
"Really? What's happened?"
Twilight bit her bottom lip. "Nothing… nothing that concerns you." She finally sighed.
"Hmpf. Well, if it's not important enough to tell me, then I don't see why I should have to send it."
Exasperated, Twilight groaned. "Spike, I need you to just do this for me. Please don't ask questions. It's really, really important, but I can't tell you right now."
"Fine, I'll send it. But you gotta tell me in the morning."
Twilight just sighed. "Sure." Looking less grumpy, Spike sat up in his basket, grabbed the tightly-bound scroll in a clawed hand, and held it up to his mouth. With one fiery, green breath, the parchment had disappeared, soaring away into the night on a puff of smoke.
Spike crossed his arms. "There, happy?"
"Very." Twilight assured him. "Good night Spike."
Spike yawned, lying back down again. "Good night, Twilight." Within moments, he was snoring again, out like a light. Twilight shook her head. How he could do that, when there was so much wrong and upside-down in the world, just didn't make sense to her. Then again, nothing about today really made any sense to her. She trotted over to her bed, flopping down onto her blankets and laying her head against the pillows. She stared up at the ceiling, holding her front hooves to her head. She sighed. It was almost morning, and she knew there was no way she could possibly get to sleep now. It was strange, she thought, that she could feel so tired, yet be unable to sleep. Her eyelids sagged, threatening to close, yet it was no struggle to keep them open. She just kept staring straight up, fixating upon one spot on her ceiling.
From somewhere in the distance, she could hear her number one assistant, breathing slowly and rhythmically in the darkest hours of the early morning. The low whistling of the wind emanated from outside, and from far away the hoot of an owl sounded. She wondered briefly if it might be Owlowiscious, away on a nighttime hunt, but decided against it. There might be dozens of owls out at this time of night. It was weird, she thought, how the world just seemed to keep on moving like any other night, despite all that had happened. It almost seemed that, to her, lying alone in her peaceful bedroom with her assistant and friend sleeping nearby and the sounds of the night calling from outside, that nothing bad had really happened. Maybe Applejack had been wrong after all. After all, how could something like this even happen in Equestria?
Twilight shuddered at the thought. No, there was no doubt in her mind what had happened. Applejack wouldn't have told them what she did if she didn't believe it was true, and Fluttershy too had seemed so rattled after seeing Dash. As much as Twilight wanted to believe it wasn't true, she knew it had to be. She closed her eyes, and instantly, the image of Rainbow Dash, harried, pained, shocked, and broken, standing in her own doorway returned to her mind. Twilight shivered. No. There could be no doubt what had happened. She rolled over, opening her eyes, and stared out the window at the dark sky, interspaced with twinkling stars. Somewhere out there in the night, she knew Rainbow Dash, one of her best friends, was suffering through something Twilight herself could hardly fathom. And somewhere else, she knew rested the stallion responsible for all of this. And he was probably sleeping soundly.
Twilight bit back a tear as she continued to gaze past her window and out into the night sky. In the distance, the dim outlines of mountains, barely visible in the pale moonlight, could be seen. Somewhere, Twilight knew, over those very mountains, lay the city of Canterlot and her mentor and ruler, Princess Celestia. Although the princess was probably asleep, Twilight wondered if she had even gotten her letter yet.
As if to answer her question, Twilight's ears were hit with a sharp crack. From below her in the library's main floor, a flash of light briefly illuminated the interior of the tree home. In another instant, everything descended back into darkness. Twilight Sparkle immediately jumped up, looking around frantically. At the foot of her bed, Spike was somehow, miraculously, still sleeping. Twilight didn't have time to wonder at this however, as she dashed towards the staircase. Her hooves clicked against the stairs as she barreled her way downwards. Halfway to the bottom, she stopped dead in her tracks. From below her, a tall, regal, white alicorn, her glittering, tri-colored mane and tail billowing behind her and seeming to glow even in the feeble light, stared up at her pupil. "Twilight Sparkle," Princess Celestia spoke, her voice carrying all the inflection of both a teacher and an old friend at once, "We have much to discuss."
ARGH, those cliffhangers!
But god, this is a tear-jerker. I WANT THOSE JERKS TO DIE!
Dashie please let us help you...
I saw this featured and yelled''An update?Thank you Celestia!!!!!!!!!"
I was really waiting for this story to update for a while! It's well written, and has a great story going for it. If it's not to much to ask, I would hope you would continue this story, it's great!
This is such a good story!
Finally! Been waiting for this.
I'm not crying. I ain't even on the brink. Am I a bad person, or have I just watched too much Law & Order: SVU?
999049
I assume that's the same reason I haven't cried writing this as well.
998997
Don' worry, I'll be sure to continue it. And I'll try to quicken my pace a bit, too.
please, write more
BOB SAGET
BOB SAGET
FUCKING FINALLY. Diving right in!
Tentatively followed. There are a lot of things that would make me drop this like a hot potato but the writing is good enough to make me want to give it a try. Good luck, I hope this doesn't disappoint.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I just can't find it in me to 'like' this story. I find it distasteful enough that I have to 'favourite' it simply so I can keep track of it.
And worse, the simple fact that it does indeed go to court tells me that her assailant is unlikely to receive sufficient punishment.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go overdose on sunshine and rain...bows....
You know what? Forget the metaphor. I'mma go find some pics of fluffy ponies.
Celestia better KICK SOMEONES FLANK!
Is it werid that i saw this story after hearing orne music and comments?
"those who are unlucky enough to have encountered Orne have had their mind shattered, with death following quickly afterwards"
999061 who ever raped dash must die
It finally updated! Awesome chapter. It makes waiting for the next all the more painful (in a good way of course!). Now what is eating at me is what could have driven the Wonderbolts to have committed an act of this magnitude. And I say Wonderbolts because surely if violent crime is rare then the other members would have been just as disturbed by the act as the rest of the mane 6 and have reported the one responsible to the authorities. This tells me one thing: the entire team was in on it and that this was a fully planned out act. For all we know Soarin' and Spitfire ordered this to happen! Keep writing, I'm eager to see what happens next now that Celestia knows what Dash is going through.
What happens, then, when hopes and dreams are dashed?
Mein gott. This is a horribly innapropriate place for a pun. I can not stop laughing. Now I feel bad. Well, time to read this!
999338
Was waiting for someone to notice that.
Read this while listening to the latest Shadowbolts song... oh boy, that made the mood... noticeably more sad and deranged...
I hope whoever deserves this, gets whatever is coming to him, style.
Music: Ghost Busters main soundtrack.
If you hanging in a cliff, who you gona call? Cliffhanger!
Why didn't I track you? I forget... Oh well. The fic has been found and the more fics that I have tracked the more updates I get and the more I get to read shit. Make more writed stuff.
I would love to read at least one more chapter before I leave for the army, since that's only 2 weeks or so. Hope to see at least one more chapter.
I don't really find it as tear-worthy, as I find it cringe-worthy.
I don't feel tears, I feel heart-ache... Imaginging RD that upset... It makes me shake... I feel like hugging her, but every time I try to clench my arms together, the only thing my arms hit is my own chest...
If I was in that room, and could try and talk to her, I'd refuse to leave her even if she tried to push me out with all her force. But all I can do is keep hugging her, or rather, myself and hope that she'll be okay in time
999274you mean someponies flank... right?
999560>>999274
You both forgot apostrophes. I am dissapoint.
Ahh, great timing. I was needing a break from my own projects, and this story is one that I've loved since the beginning (even if it's in early stages yet). Fantastic work, I'm loving the detail and emotion - I'm having no trouble at all picturing the scenes. The way you handle each character's mood is phenomenal, and something that simply isn't done enough these days. You're weaving a spectacular pony tale (har-har), and I await future chapters with great anticipation.
999560>>999576
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134220350220.png
Well done.
I had you written you off as a writer in this fandom, mostly only on the basis of our differences in the area of shipping. That said I did enjoy To Fix You on the novelty value of the Coldplay motif.
This story though is well done. Not perfect, but of a quality that makes the reader stand up and take notice. All that practice is paying off for you.
You've got a couple of isses of ponies descending into dramatics for the simple reason that somepony has to. You're handling a situation in which each of the mane 6 has a distinct and easily imagined reaction quite well. There's a lot of minced words in there, but not as many as in the past. I cant quite explain, my own language skills are inadequate, but it feels like a higher quality of mince if that makes any sense.
The plot could stand to move a little faster, this chapter hit the metaphorical brakes hard, but that's to be expected. It pains me to say I am convinced I know where the plot is going, right up to the trial verdict. That's as far as my imitation of prescience carries me, which is good because it's everything that happens after that that will be your chance to display your true quality as a writer.
I think that's it, for now. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.
I'm sorry if I'm coming off as more than a little off-kilter here, I haven't slept in a while, but I had to write this out while I still remembered.
Patience totally paid off for this chapter. It was expertly done and the imagery is downright spectacular. Then the ending.....fucking cliffhangers I eagerly await the next chapter. A grand endeavor indeed.
Hmm...a The-Wonderbolts-hire-Rainbow Dash-so-they-can-rape-her fic.
This has been done before.
I'll stick around to see your spin on it. You're doing well so far.
Now I wait for Big Mac to go in and beat the living **** out of the guy, then have Twilight heal his body, then let him do it again. Just wait until he gets sent to prison and drops his soap. Karma, *****!
1001746
Really? Really? Of all the crazy, convoluted ideas I bounced around my head, trying to think of something original. It's already been done?
Well, too bad, because that's not even my premise. Not entirely at least.
1002351
Well, are we really to expect the Equestrian justice system is any less flawed than our own?
Rape stories usually don't affect me at all, since I've lived through it and most stories just can't match the real thing. But your description of Rainbow Dash's raw emotion– her fear, her isolation– it really spoke to me... gave me shudders. And the concern of her friends... I wish I'd had friends like that, when it happened. It might have kept me from withdrawing socially afterwards.
...Uehehe, sorry about that. Anyway, keep up the good work. This is a fantastic read, and I can't wait to see where this goes.
Believe it or not, this is not the most disturbing fan fiction I've ever read. Nor did I have to take a break when hit by the impact of something so massive that I needed a moment. Nor did I cry. Nor did Rainbow's broken tears compose the most painful song I've ever heard.
But this hurt me. Really, really deep down, this hurt me and the pain resonated through my being. This rattled me to some deep core and shook the foundations of the comfortable little world I'd so ignorantly lulled myself into. This awoke the dust of terrible things that are better left forgotten out from the cracks that I'd left them in. This made some unheard part of me beg for respite; for a warm place.
This is not the worst thing I've ever read or most terrifying thing I've heard. But it made me remember all of them, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt true fear. That's why this is powerful; because this one will haunt me to one extent or another for the rest of my mortal life.
This hurts me because it hurts Dash so much. I don't know how you pulled together the knowledge for what points about trauma to hit on, but they're all there; I see them all. The fear, the paranoia, and the pain that strikes every level of the psyche so deep that it obliterates all former perceptions of reality and relationships to others that the mind can't do anything but run inwards to hide somewhere within itself and try to recuperate. And then comes the torturous introspection; looking at the ashes of the former self with misery, trying to piece everything back together, living with the pain perpetually as the memories and agony attached to them never do fade; shunning everything, even the things that once mattered most in a primal instinct for self preservation driven by paranoia... and then comes self loathing poisonous enough to kill. And it never God damn stops.
This is all captured so well that it's disturbing, and I don't know whether to commend you or condemn you. On the one hand, the ability to capture all of that so well and to have a reader feel a real impact from events that never happened to a character that doesn't exist is always an impressive feat and always the mark of a good writer. On the other hand...
RAINBOW DASH GETS RAPED. YOU WROTE A LITERARY FEATURE WHERE RAINBOW DASH GETS RAPED.
WHAT THE FUCK, MAN
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I found two images (one jpg, one gif) that pretty much describe how I feel about this, and I don't know which one to pick. BUT FUCK IT; I'M USING BOTH.
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And
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833621 I'll see your butt rock and raise you Nine Inch Nails - A Warm Place
1003802 ... :you... oh my God...
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- Christian 'A Cold Place' Harisay
Amazing fic so far! The Wonderbolt's don't know what **** they've gotten themselves into. It's time for spme FLANK-SPANKING!!!!!
1004995
Well, it was really my entire goal to capture hat raw emotion and translate it into words, and if it's had such a profound effect on you then I must say I've done my job!
And, in regards to why I posted this at all, it's mostly because writing for this theme is extremely challenging and I love a good challenge. Also, it's because rape is more often used by fanfic writers as a joke, and when they do try to use it seriously, they do it poorly. So I wanted to go against that trend and right a fic with rape as the central theme and issue, but not make it a joke or really bad. And besides, it's fun to stir up controversy!
So, to answer Dash: "Why would you post that?"
Because I'm a dick!
1006433 You did, all too well. Way too well.
Nothing this big can be tackled without stirring up something nasty, and you should be given credit at least for taking this matter very seriously; how anyone could write about something this jarring and not take it seriously or worse, as you say, try to make it funny, is beyond me as it is below me.
I saw a novice writer's guide narrated by Twilight back on dA (can't find it now...) that brought up the point that in order for conflict to have real dramatic weight behind it, you need to make terrible things happen to your protagonist to show the reader what they're made of. And this in no way fails in any respect at that. But at the same time, it's so savage and so dark that I can't help but feel shaken in ways I'd rather not be disturbed by. Especially not through the medium of ponies, which I'll admit is a bit of an escape for me (and (generally) a far more chaste way to use my time on the internet). I know any story, even ones with ponies, needs conflict, but there's a difference between making characters face to fire and dragging them screaming in terror through Hell and dashing them upon the rocks of agony and anguish with such wicked ferocity that they shatter into so many broken pieces that they can't be put back together again.
Worst of all, I have to follow this now, because leaving means a lack of closer; "And then Rainbow Dash was raped. THE END." I swear, this one is going to be my nest friggin' Against All Odds: Make a Wish for me.
- Christian 'Sad-boy' Harisay
Oh my god this is so good yet so sad!
I want more!!!!!!
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Well, if there is a difference between letting them "face the fire" and "dragging them screaming in terror through Hell and dashing them upon the rocks of agony and anguish with such wicked ferocity that they shatter into so many broken pieces that they can't be put back together again.", I would say the difference is the level of courage it takes to undertake the latter. Any idiot can write a story about a character facing the fire, or overcoming some challenge, but it takes real balls to make a character go through something that is so despicable, so detestable, so blatantly awful that every other writer avoids it. That's why I do it. Because no one else dare touch it, and it still has so much potential.
It's also fun to because, honestly, I don't like the idea that Equestria is some sort of perfect, care-free, problem-free world. I know most people like to see it that way because they need an escape from the mess of the real world, but I honestly just find that view of Equestria as lacking.
I admire the real world, and I think more realistic stories are better. That's why I choose rape as opposed to some lesser evil, because it happens so often in the real world, and there's no reason to avoid writing about it besides queasiness. In the real world, terrible shit like this happens pretty much daily, and problems are rarely as two-dimensional as they are portrayed in stories. And in the real world, happy endings are disappointingly rare. As a writer, the standard plot for a story (especially for fan-ficiton, I've noticed) is: 'Characters starts out. Character encounters small, two-dimensional problem. Character struggle for a while. Character eventually overcomes problem. Character lives happily ever after, maybe learning a life lesson, but certainly changed for the better.'
Now, I much prefer this: 'Character starts out. Character encounters large, multifaceted problem. Character seems hopelessly lost and or unable to solve it. Character encounters some sort of trauma or damaging physical/emotional experiance. Character is probably changed for life, and often changed for the worse. In the end, character might or might not overcome problem, and not without significant harm. Character also may only partially solve problem, or new problems may arise.'
I like that far more because it's realistic, and realistic stories are, in my view, always better than the alternative.
pinkies just pulled his number
1008429 Yeah. Not sure if I really brought this up last time, but the truth of making anything that dares task a worthwhile risk or delves into dangerous territory is that it's rarely easy and never without repercussions; do something with this kind of weight, and somebody isn't going to be able to handle it and is going to get pissed. I just wish more people were capable of reasoning so that something as infinitesimal as giving Derpy some time on the front stage wasn't something that's considered a risk, and the backlash for that isn't a fucking civil war. (And considering your take on storytelling, I can only imagine how pissed off the outcome of that incident made you.)
Perhaps the use of the word "escape" provides the wrong implications for expectations of Equestria. Not only do stories need conflict, life needs conflict. It's the unavoidable and inevitable conflict of life that makes the creative licensing that storytelling allots that makes a tale interesting, and even My Little Pony is no exception. There are the challenges of living a daily life from working for a living to raising children; there ponies that can't get alone and issues between them that can't be resolved (Trixie, Gilda, etc), insecurities, mental instability, you name it. They even have things we don't have to deal with, like hydras, dragons, changelings, poison joke, and evil deities bent on beating the harmony of a world to death. Yeah, okay, we've got Satan to deal with, but that reject doesn't even have a body and can't bastardize the rules that make up a physical universe or force you to do/become something against your will like Discord can.
A story without conflict is like a life without conflict; boring. Even worse, there would be no room for personal development, no way to hone one's own morals or values, no times to step up and be the hero, and no chance to be anything else but a pansy-assed softy who can't take the pressures that merely living requires. Seriously, what kind of person would you have to be as to be so naive, childish, and idiotically ignorant to believe that any trial, any test of faith, and any amount of pain or suffering for what you value is not only bad, but is to be avoided like it's some unforgivable sin?
Well, you'd be my ex-girlfriend. OH SNAP.
Burns against the little girl in a grown woman's body who was living with her parents until she was twenty-seven aside, you do bring up a really good point about how conflict only leaves as good as impersonation as it leaves on who it happens too. Even stories that I thought were really good and really, really liked that essentially had ideal endings like So You've Grown Wings, The Best Night Ever, Anthropology, and (believe it or not) Past Sins (Actually, that last on is one of my all-time favorites. Shut up, it is.) didn't quite have as profound conflicts as ones that had deeper effects on the protagonists and things had to be sacrificed for a happy ending, like The Games We Play or Fallout: Equestria (though I think people mostly remember that one for how long it was... Holy FUCK, it was so God-damn long; it was SO LONG, dude!) And not to get in a self insert, but that was actually something that Joseph and myself discussed at length about our own story, DECEPTION. (It's pretty much our take on 'MLP:FiM meets Inception.') When J initially pitched me the idea, some of my first thoughts were that they would only do something as questionable as an inception if they thought it was for the better. So right from the very start when we settled on who they'd be performing an inception on and why, we also thought to incorporate the exploration of their own motives whether or not the ends justified the means, and I think it was both the solid premise and opportunities for character development as everything changes that got us excited enough to actually go through with it.
Basically what I've been trying to get through with all this is the concept of conflict. You seem to have it down fairly well, but there's also another issue of attachments and emotional connections to those characters involved, and ultimately the pay-off involved for watching them go through the trials that they do. At what point does it stop becoming about a character facing a given problem and it becomes about just the problem that a character has to face? And what is to come of it if the purpose of a story is what it makes it's protagonist suffer? And though that certainly acts as a perfectly workable set-up for a touching (whether it be the good or bad kind) story, writing something just to see how a character squirms when they've been broken seems to get a bit to close for comfort to the realm of sadism.
I suppose that even despite all this story has going for it and all the accurate knowledge about writing that you clearly posses, what reserved part of me that still takes some issue with this is that despite what Rule 42 states, there are still things to be held sacred. For me, ponies are on that list. Even for all my talk about the need for conflict among stories, this is just violating, in more ways than one. And I know I said earlier that no risk worth taking is an easy one or without people it'll upset, but is every dangerous road worth traveling?
Just to better illustrate the point (succinctly (hopefully)), lets up the stakes here. Lets take the premise of this story (i.e. rape) but make it happen to somepony else, like, say, Apple Bloom. (: "Why me?" // "I'm only making a point, don't worry.") As with this, there can be a good set-ups and incredible potential for riveting storytelling, but would something like that really be worth writing? If no, then what's the exception here? And if yes, then... YOU SICK FUCK.
I don't doubt that you have your own limits of what you will and won't write, or that this is isn't indicative of who you are, or even that this is the most grisly pony fiction out there (far from it). But, do be mindful of the path you tread; it's a slippery slope with many pit-falls and terrible detours, and traveling too far down it gives the world things like that atrocious sin against mankind, A Serbian Film.
By the way, if you don't know what that is, don't ask. Don't Wikipedia it, either.
- Christian 'Wordiness wouldn't be a problem if I typed faster than ten words a minute' Harisay
1013743
You bring up some excellent points, and I completely agree with you on the need for conflict both in stories and life, that's and idea that I really support, and it's part of the reason I always look fro the deepest conflicts in my own stories.
That being said, I do want to get a few things across. First off, you said that "there are still things to be held sacred." Well, I don';t really agree. I do hope this won't come between us, but I don't really believe there's a need for anything to be sacred. (I happen to be an atheist, just throwing that out there for clarification, not to be inflammatory). I don't really believe in the sanctity of anything, not even ponies. So, while I love my ponies, I do prefer to treat them more as characters. What I mean by that is, I like to think of them as more human-like than god-like. So, they're flawed instead of perfect, they have plenty of life problems, and yes, they can even be raped. I respect that you (and many others) believe that they must be held sacred and inviolable, but I don't share those beliefs, and I think that's reflected in my writing.
I prefer writing (and reading, to be honest) stories that have deep, meaningful, multifaceted, and difficult conflicts and problems. I prefer the stories that ask the big questions and really make a reader think. The best stories I've ever encountered have been the ones that were so disturbing that they made me question society and the world around me. That's what I plan to attempt.
And, sorry Applebloom, but yes. I guess you could call me a sick fuck, but I really have no morals when it comes to story writing.
I'm also fully away that some people will get pissed off, and t be honest, I don't care. People can get pissed off at me all they want, but all that says to me is that they can't handle the heat. And, as they say, if you can't handle the heat, then get out of the kitchen.
And, as for your questions "At what point does it stop becoming about a character facing a given problem and it becomes about just the problem that a character has to face? And what is to come of it if the purpose of a story is what it makes it's protagonist suffer?", well, I suppose you'll have to get deeper into the story to see what I really have planned.
1014568
...and that's exactly why you're one of my favorite authors on here. Keep being awesome!
1014568
Sorry for the obscene delay in my reply. You'll have to get used to that about me.
Perhaps my use of the word "sacred" intoned the wrong meaning. What I meant to imply with that is that there are things that should be cherished and protected; held dear. And I think I bears noting that I do consider myself a religious person, though I'm not extra ordinarily devout and I don't go to church all that often (but that's mostly because I work graveyard shift all weekend, so by the time I get home I just want to fucking sleep... but I digress). But I don't take offense to your beliefs. Hell, my younger brother is an atheist too, so it doesn't bother me. (Even though I wish that rather that "in nothing" wasn't what the both of you believed in.) However, Daniel still has his own concepts of morality and tries to live by what he sees at right and wrong. I'm sure you do too. We all do. But this still one of those gray areas that's just a little too black for me to not say something.
Maybe a better word to have used was respect. As I may have stated before, it is conflict that defines us and the tenacity of our opposition to it that strengths us, but sometimes there are sufferings and afflictions that ought not be borne by anyone. Conflict can still damage and scar beyond healing. And as the case here, the conflict has no other repercussion but to solely victimize, and at the same time is so brutal and so nefarious that I can't help but find it in some way cruel just to write that.
Or maybe its just the subject of the protagonist. Writing about a woman having to shoulder such a terrible and heinous burden is bad enough as it is, but unfortunately isn't unheard of or unthinkable because, well, we're humans; we live as soldiers on a battlefield where the perpetual war between good and evil is just daily life. But take one of the worst things one sentient being can do to another and force it into a world where that kind of evil is alien, and have it happen to, may I remind you, a cartoon character, and it's a bit much. Yeah, don't think I've forgotten about the importance of conflict, but this is just coming across too strongly as a 'Rainbow Dash gets raped fic' for the sake of Rainbow Dash getting raped. This sets the stakes that high does open huge doors for introspective analysis and character development to see how much of the metaphorical phoenix can rise from the ashes of its used pseudo-innocence, but... metaphorically speaking, this strikes me as a case of tearing apart the canvas upon which the masterpiece lies for the sake of hearing what the paper sounds like when it's ripped.
Maybe I'm just going off the way I am because the story doesn't stand at anything more than 'Rainbow Dash gets raped,' and not 'Rainbow Dash picks up as many pieces as she can, puts herself mostly back together and continues a life worth living.' Still, I'll be here to see this unfold,
waging war against youdebating this all the way.But fucking seriously; you wrote a 'Rainbow Dash gets raped fic.' That's just fucked up, man. Plain and simple, dyed-in-the-wool fucked up.
- Christian 'Gets it Done Tomorrow a Week From Now Next Month' Harisay
1089360
Oh, please. Do continue! I quite enjoy the occasional
bloody, destructive battledebate, now and then, and I look forward to seeing how your arguments (or even opinions?) change as the story progresses.I agree it must seem fucked up now. Though, I must admit, I've never been a fan of holding something (even ponies) in higher regard than real life. If a woman in the real world can get raped, and a story written about it, I say, why not Rainbow Dash as well? (and to even greater emotional effect, no less). I digress. I suppose you could say I'm just writing this story for the sake of writing a 'Rainbow Dash gets raped' story, but I think that would require ignoring some of the finer points I plan to work in. And just what might those be? You'll just have to wait. =)
I will say this: This story is going to be quite the wild ride, and I'm glad to have you aboard!
1131020 Sorry, I can't wait any longer for the fic!!!! Do you have a date for when the next chapter will be published? Thanks
1143513
I actually have the next chapter finished and sent in to my editor! I'm only waiting to receive it back from him!
1151033
I totally was not already planning to do that.I don't need to read past Chapter 3 to know it was (SPOILER) Soarin.
Remember when RD was briefly celebrating her joining of the Wonderbolts?
OH COME ON, PERV!
But based on my experience with making "far-fetched" predictions, I'm more than likely wrong, so Imma continue reading.
PS: Don't reply to me being a douche because I'm making a prediction. These are comments, so I'm commenting. kthnx
I'm gonna pull a Cupcakes on Soarin'
999405
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