• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

Comments ( 420 )

This is sorta what I expected, but somehow even better and even worse at the same time...
And highly disturbing... Don't forget highly disturbing...

God damn it, Admiral Biscuit. :facehoof:

Abraham Lincoln´s Ghost 2K16

Why the hell would Trump steal Celestia's cat?

Are you going to change the title to President Trump should the unthinkable 85% likelihood occur? :trollestia:

Probably much worse than that, since Clinton's borderline in PA as I type this, most non-reporting districts are heavily red, and there's no realistic path to 270 for Clinton without PA in her column.

You know this is going to become a killing field for butthurt voters.

He was begging for it.

7708141
THIS IS THE ONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO.

7708146
More to the point, how could he with his little tiny hands?

Why do I believe that he would actually do this. Glad I didn't vote for him or Clinton today.

7708149

Are you going to change the title to President Trump should the unthinkable 85% likelihood occur? :trollestia:

Yes, I will. I think I will be able to manage, even through tears and what looks like it may well be the mother of all hangovers.

EDIT: I changed my mind, largely because TD actually reviewed this and I wouldn't want to make him have to change his review.

7708156 I had a dream where his ghost appeared, flipped Donald the bird, then wrestled him to death

:facehoof:
Fuck it, I'll take petty revenge where I can get it.

7708150

You know this is going to become a killing field for butthurt voters.

That may very well be so, and I welcome it.

Honestly, the biggest concern I had with this fic is that sexual assault isn't funny. Whereas if I get flamed, downvote bombed, or whatever else by Trump supporters, I really don't care. They have their opinion, I have mine, and we can agree to disagree.

And here's the answer as to why you submitted this instead of auto-accept.

7708153

He was begging for it.

I do vaguely regret not making a dick joke or two. And maybe having Celestia's kick land a little bit lower.
But that's such a tiny target. . . .

7708166

I had a dream where his ghost appeared, flipped Donald the bird, then wrestled him to death

I'm holding out hope that that actually happens.

7708170

Fuck it, I'll take petty revenge where I can get it.

:pinkiehappy:

7708161

Why do I believe that he would actually do this.

I absolutely believe that he would actually do this, unfortunately.

7708174

And here's the answer as to why you submitted this instead of auto-accept.

Yup. Give the moderators a chance to send me a PM saying "What the fuck is wrong with you?" As you can plainly see, they didn't.

7708178 That would be one of the best WWE matches in history. Imagine if, like on a brief scene in the Channel Chasers special for Fairy Oddparents, politics was solved by politicians beating the crap out of eachother in a wrestling match?

http://fairlyoddparents.wikia.com/wiki/Politically_Inaccurate

In light of how tonight is going I'm going to hold off on this until later. It's just too soon and I'm too drunk.

7708186
Let me tell you this: if we wanted to cut down on our deficit by having a pay-per-view Presidential candidate cage match, I'd pay.

If you could promise me undead Abraham Lincoln, I'd remortgage my house and max out my credit cards to see it.

This is one of those rare stories that I will probably never read, but I might need to upvote anyway solely out of principle.

:trollestia: :facehoof:

7708193
It's better when you're drunk, probably.

:rainbowlaugh: I haven't read it yet, but this is why I love you. Ya magnificent bastard.

7708198 Same here, or Robo Lincoln

7708199

This is one of those rare stories that I will probably never read, but I might need to upvote anyway solely out of principle.

Do it. Make your vote count. :pinkiehappy:

7708201

:rainbowlaugh: I haven't read it yet, but this is why I love you. Ya magnificent bastard.

This may well be the best--or worst--thing I have ever done.

7708203

Same here, or Robo Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt vs Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

7708206

Do it. Make your vote count. :pinkiehappy:

This is one of those rare comments that I will probably downvote in my heart, but I might need to upvote in real life solely out of principle.

:raritydespair: :ajbemused: :fluttercry:

7708216
It's depressing, isn't it? My whiskey is being diluted by tears even as we speak.

I was listening to the election night coverage when I found this so I was like "this is a perfect fanfic for tonight" lol

7708210 That would be glorious!

7708221

I was listening to the election night coverage when I found this so I was like "this is a perfect fanfic for tonight" lol

:heart:

Shortly thereafter, Luna visits the moon and rebanishes him to the sun. Because dammit, she has to touch that every night.

7708218
I don't drink, and I actually find this more fascinating than depressing because I'm kind of a statistical nerd. :twistnerd:

That said, I can't stay up all night, and it's quite possible it won't be called before 2 am. So instead of tears and booze, I'm about to mix trazadone, Benadryl, and caffeine free Mountain Dew.

:ajsleepy: Best of luck to our fair nation!

And if the results end up Terrible, I'm getting my last electroshock on Thursday which will screw with my memories—so that stands a chance at rerolling the entire set of election dice for my personal consciousness. Much more effective than alcohol, and it actually works.

Or, it just kills me, subjectively. Those are kind of the same thing, though. :derpytongue2:

7708232

Shortly thereafter, Luna visits the moon and rebanishes him to the sun. Because dammit, she has to touch that every night.

L: You put him where?
C: It's the only spell I could think of, Lulu.

jxj
jxj #40 · Nov 9th, 2016 · · ·

Me explaining to my friend that I found a new fic: "It's called Donald Trump Grabs Princess Celestia's Pussy"
Friend: "... I'm sorry did you say..."
Me: "yes"
Friend: "I thought the internet couldn't surprise me anymore ... I was wrong."

7708234

I don't drink,

Now's a good time to start :rainbowwild:

That said, I can't stay up all night, and it's quite possible it won't be called before 2 am. So instead of tears and booze, I'm about to mix trazadone, Benadryl, and caffeine free Mountain Dew.

My plan is to mix alcohol with sorrow and see if I can function at work tomorrow.

:ajsleepy: Best of luck to our fair nation!

I do think that whatever happens, we'll get through it. It might be ugly and painful, but we'll make it.

And if the results end up Terrible, I'm getting my last electroshock on Thursday which will screw with my memories—so that stands a chance at rerolling the entire set of election dice for my personal consciousness.

I don't know if that makes you more blessed than the rest of us, or if it's the most terrible fate ever, having to live through it twice.

7708241
Never let it be said that I'm predictable.

Or the internet, for that matter.

jxj

7708243 now to convince/trick him to read it.

You could've been a little more outrageous.

Just saying.

7708246
I managed to convince a friend to read part of a fanfic once, and not entirely through false pretenses.

Just tell your friend it's topical and maybe that it had naked girls in it.

7708250
Yes, I could have been. The backstory is that this was entirely written on 20 individual sheets of notepad over a nine-hour stretch at work, while I was hiding from the boss. Quality, it ain't.

I love it when people rant about imaginary people created by political propagandists.
Yes... The horrible person who appears in your mind when you hear the name, "Trump" is pretty much a fairy tale.

...But hey, that is also just as true as the saint you imagine when you hear the name "Obama."

Congratulations! You are beginning to understand the depths and layers of your mental conditioning!

7708155
I reviewed this story as the LONE ENTRY in Read It Now Reviews #100.

You can find my review of this story here.

I didn't know Princess Celestia had a pet cat? :trollestia:

jxj

7708251 well, he used to be a brony (stopped watching after season 3) and reads fanfics for other stuff so it may be fairly easy.

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