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Chapter 272,103 words
Chapter 282,255 words
Chapter 294,389 words
Epilogue2,060 words

Chapter 24

The Jerk
Chapter 24

The tunnel I was in was dark. Very dark. Not just some regular dark you can shrug off, like the night sky. No, this was the oppressive and claustrophobic dark. I didn’t like it. Not one bit. I had activated my Pip-Boy light, but it wasn’t doing much aside from preventing me from slamming my shins into any stray pieces of furniture the Changelings might have had.

So, I was walking through this darkness, this... Advanced darkness, and nothing was happening. Just like old times I tell you. When I would go hunting for Super Mutant heads in a dark and depressing vault without having to worry about shape-shifting bugs backstabbing me. Ah, the good old days. Anyways, I so was busy reminiscing in my own little world that I didn’t notice a small rock that was big enough to trip me, trip me.

Next thing I knew, I was on the ground with a bloody nose. Swearing profusely at the rock, I pushed myself to my knees and shot a glare at the offending object to find it wasn’t a rock at all, but instead a small blue cannon lying on its side. No, not a hand cannon, I mean the old ones. You know, put a giant metal ball inside and light a fuse then wait for it to hit something? Really?... Oh yeah, you weren’t raised in a vault like me.... Annnnyywayyys, it was small cannon. On the side, with pink wheels that had flowers on them.

I picked it up and it got me wondering. What would a girly little weapon of destruction be doing all the way down here? I had to be on to something and it turns out, I was. I kept walking along this dark tunnel to nowhere and found that it led somewhere. As I traversed on, I started to hear my footsteps echoing back to me from somewhere further on the blackness. I stopped walking and waited for something; anything to indicate what was waiting for me up ahead. I heard a faint labored breathing, but nothing else.

Undeterred, I resumed my earlier pace with my Pip-Boy lighting the way. What I came across is something that I never hope I will see again. Shackled and chained in front of me was a white pony, thin from extreme starvation, that had a curled blue mane and diamonds for its cutie mark. Honestly I couldn’t tell if it was a girl or a guy. It was that bad. The pony’s eyes shot open as it heard me approach, did a small double take, and then let out a bloodcurdling screech.

~~~~~

John walked along the hall with Celestia, Luna, and Discord trailing behind him. Sensing an awkward moment, John decided to break the ice.

“So,” he began. “What are you taking me to see?”

“Well, we’re taking you to the war room. We have to start discussing what we’re going to do.”

John’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I thought we had the whole situation planned out. You were all going to attack Chrysalis once we found her, and let that be that.”

“Well,” Celestia began. “That was the plan, but we feel the need to have one for backup, just in case.”

“So, we’re still gonna stick with the original plan then?”

“Yes John,” Luna said, putting some emphasis on his name but if he noticed it, he pretended not to care.

“Okay, soooo... What?”

“We will meet up with Shining Armor in the conference room tonight to discuss our new plan, make sure you’re there.”

“Alright.” John stopped and turned to face them. “See you all then,” he said.

Once he was gone, the three immortals began to talk amongst themselves.

“So, we know that’s not John, but we can’t confront him about it immediately.” Celestia started out. “We’re just going to ambush him tonight?”

“That’s the best we could think of Tia,” Discord said. “Unless you have a better plan, I suggest we stick to it.”

“Well, I still don’t think it will work that well. He’s a Changeling, they’re masters of deception.”

“It’s the only thing we could do. We don’t know where the real John is, so we’re sticking with this plan.”

“If you say so.”

~~~~~

I rushed forward and grabbed the pony’s mouth, effectively shutting it up. Its eyes stared wide at me in fear, like a cornered animal. Her eyes were pinpricks, but I suspect that was because of being in the dark for so long. I turned off my Pip-Boy light and the world went dark.

“I’m going to let go of your mouth. When I do, you won’t scream. Got it?”

I felt the pony nod in response.

“Alright.” I let go of its mouth and I heard a female sounding gasp for breath.

“W-what are you?” It asked in a female voice. So it was a girl... One less problem to worry about.

“That doesn’t matter. What does matter is why you’re chained up down here.” The pony stayed silent and I shook her a little.

“Hello? I’m talking to you!”

I felt the pony go limp in my arms. I turned on my Pip-Boy light. She had fainted. I sighed in annoyance and snapped the chains holding her and hefted her over my shoulder. I looked around the small indent in the wall. Okay, so they wouldn’t just chain a single pony all the way down here beneath this god-forsaken planet.

So, I looked around the small alcove. There was nothing else here, save for the broken shackles on the wall. I took a few hesitant steps before coming to a life-altering piece of knowledge. I was lost. I had absolutely no idea where I had come from. I looked around, hopeless for a moment before I remembered that my Pip-Boy was always recording my surroundings. I facepalmed and then brought up the map tab. Okay, so I hadn’t actually travelled very far. About a mile before I came across this pony. There was a small tunnel to my right, so I took it and it kept going for quite a while.

A few miles later, the pony I had slung over my shoulder began to stir. Slowly and surely the pony awoke and shift around on my shoulder before uttering a loud groan.

“Morning sleeping beauty. Sleep well?”

She groaned wearily.

“Uhhhgg... where am I?” She asked, her voice cracking.

“Currently you’re under some unknown mountain. Specifically, you’re on my shoulder. You think you can walk?”

“Eh,” she groaned again. “I think so.”

I stopped and set her down, and she weakly struggled to stay upright before collapsing. I knelt down next to her.

“So, looks like I’m going to be lugging you around this whole time.” She looked up at me weakly and winced. “Well, let’s get it over with.” I grabbed her and prepared to lift her over my shoulder, but before I did anything she socked me across the jaw and began to walk away.

I grunted in pain, and snapped my hand up in instinct to recoil but found the pony wasn’t there anymore. I looked around but she had left the illuminating glow of my Pip-Boy light. I blinked and looked at my compass and saw it classifying her as a hostile. I sighed, fixed it, and started walking after her. I turned off my light and started couch-walking forward to stay hidden.

I eventually heard her ragged breathing and realized I shouldn’t have really thought she would get far. I mean, she was more than half-starved to death. You have to be lacking in energy if you haven’t eaten in awhile. So, when I judged she was right next to me I stood up and turned on my light again. She was panting in exhaustion on the ground, and couldn’t even muster the energy to look at me.

So, I looked down at this pitiful pony with something akin to pity. Not something I feel very often.

“Are you gonna punch me and then try to run again?”

The withered pony turned her head, with great effort, to look at me, before closing her eyes and weakly shaking her head no.

“Alright good. Now maybe we can get something done. I’m not going to eat you or any bullshit like that, so keep calm.”

She blinked once, not finding the energy to move her head.

“You know, I never thought to ask. Are you hungry?” I asked with a smirk and her small frown got promoted to a glare. “Take that as a “yes”. So, what do you want to eat? I got...” I paused as I remembered that I didn’t have my bag, and thus, no food. “Uhhh, nevermind. Sorry.”

The pony didn’t say anything. “You’re not very talkative are you?” She blinked again. “What’s your name?” Still nothing. “Well fine, be like that, but I’m not gonna leave you here to starve. Just don’t punch me again.” I bent over and picked her up and slung her over my shoulder unceremoniously. The pony weighed more than she should have, being half-starved but it wasn’t a huge burden.

“So,” I began. “What’s your story?” Still no talking, and I was fine with that. We journeyed for a while in complete silence before my compass picked up something else down here in the dark with us. I turned off my light once again.

“Keep quiet. There’s somebody else up ahead.” I crouched down and pressed forwards. The sound of ragged breathing entered my ears again and I stood up.

“Who’s there?” A voice called out, sounding like a female, but to be honest I couldn’t really be sure.

“I’m not going to answer that.” I said out loud. The pony, whomever it was, scoffed.

“Yeah right. I heard you say that. Come out and face me!”

It was my turn to scoff. “You sure you want to see me?”

“Yeah!” The pony challenged bravely.

“Okay, you asked for it.”

I turned on my Pip-Boy light, illuminating me, the pony on my shoulder, and another pony chained to the wall with poorly made shackles. This one was a sky blue pegasus with, surprisingly, a rainbow colored mane. She also, I might add, had a shocked look on her face

“Why hello there Rainbow.” I said sarcastically. Her shocked look became even more shocked.

“H-how do you know my name?!”

I paused and put on a passive face. “Your name.... Is Rainbow?...” I started shaking my head before turning around, doubling over, and chuckling madly.

“H-hey!” The pony cried in indignation. “D-don’t make fun of my name!” Her voice cracked a little bit and this made me laugh even harder, dropping the other pony on the ground on accident, allowing Rainbow to see her clearly.

“Rarity!” She cried out, and the pony on the ground struggled up and looked up to look at Rainbow. Okay, two ponies discovered down here that knew each other. Things were coming together. Sort of.... Okay, I had no idea what was going on. There was some connection, I was just too lazy to figure it out.

I “So, uh, I take it you two know each other.”

The one called Rarity looked up at me and spoke, her voice a lot more hoarse than last time.

“Y-yes. We’re friends.”

“You know this thing Rarity?!” Rainbow looked shocked again.

“He found me where I was chained up and let me go.” She replied, giving her a look that said something like: “Have you taken leave of your fucking senses?”

“Uhmm... So, why are you all chained up down here?”

Rainbow looked at me reluctantly, as if trying to discern whether or not I was trustworthy.

“We... We’re down here because we were the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.”

“You?” I gave her a skeptical look, before pausing. “Well I can see that... I guess... Wait, were?”

“Yeah, when Chrysalis chained us up down here she took them away from us.”

“Well, how about I help you get them back?”

Rainbow and Rarity gave me skeptical looks.

“You can do that?” They asked at the same time.

I gave a cocky smile and crossed my arms smugly. “I can do anything.”

Author's Note:

Wow, new Authors Note section. How orgasmic... Anyways, this story is coming to a close, it will be done soon.

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