Chapter 20
The Jerk
Chapter 20
“Should we talk to him?”
“No, just let him go. You heard him, he doesn’t want to talk about it. We better let him cool off.”
“If you say so.... He didn’t look too good.”
“He’ll deal with it the way he always does.”
“How’s that?”
“Killing things.”
~~~~~
After I walked off, leaving the two ponies at the bar to their devices I went to the sparring room, which I had passed on my way to the bar, and entered. Almost immediately, all the ponies stopped what they were doing and looked at me. It wasn’t a hostile look, just one of curiosity. It was a fairly large room, with training dummies, the little alcoves in the wall where the ponies went about plotting war and crap.
“What are you all looking at ladies? Get back to work!” Came a familiar shout from across the room and I looked over and saw Shining Armor yelling viciously at a formation of ponies. It reminded me of the head paladin yelling at the Brotherhood initiates in the courtyard. The sound of blood coming out of their pores and panting. It was music to my ears.
“WHAT IS THAT MAGGOT?!” I heard him yell, inspecting a ponies fighting form.
“Sir! This is my fighting move, sir!” Responded the pony, without a trace of fear.
“YOU CALL THAT FIGHTING?! YOU COULDN’T STAND UP TO MY GRANDMOTHER IF SHE DECIDED TO ATTACK YOU! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR AND GO SEE THE INSTRUCTOR!”
“Sir, yes SIR!” The pony saluted and trotted off, to a far alcove.
I walked up to Shining.
“You run a tight ship here.”
“AT EASE!” He shouted at his formation. “Go get something to drink.” The weary ponies fell out and ran over to a water cooler.
“You owe me.”
“Excuse me?!” I incredulously asked.
“I want to know what your world is like, but since you denied me that pleasure, you owe me.”
“Excuse me Mr. Stick up his ass, but I don’t owe you jack shit. I can tell whoever I damn well please about my world.”
“WHAT?!” He shouted at me. “I do NOT have a stick up my ass!”
“That’s not the fucking point. I don’t have to tell you jack shit, because its my choice not yours.” He glared at me for a few moments.
“Alright then, how about a deal.”
“What’s that?” I asked, my curiosity had been piqued.
“We duel. If I win, you tell me about where you are from.”
“And if I win?” He hesitated for several moments.
“I’ll help you apologize to Celestia.” I burst out laughing.
“HA! THAT’S what you’re offering me?! You helping me apologize to that bitch?! Forgot it man, no fucking way.”
“Celestia is not a bitch!” He protested angrily.
“She insulted my one and only friend! The man that had saved me several times, and without him, YOU would be dead!” I shouted. “IN FACT!” I yelled to the rest of the room. “EVERYBODY WOULD BE DEAD, SO WHY DON’T YOU ALL JUST LINE UP AND INSULT HIM, HUH?! IS THAT HOW YOU ASSHOLES WORK? SOMEBODY SAVES YOU AND YOU INSULT THEM?! HUH MOTHERFUCKERS?!?!?!” I screamed at them, holding my arms up.
They stared at me, and I turned in a huge circle, surveying their reactions. Most were of confusion, but a select few were of fear. They weren’t anybody of importance, but they were probably the ones that had been there when he had died.
Completing my circle and coming back to Shining, he was glaring at me even more fiercely.
“I’m going to fight you. But I’m only doing it so I can beat the living shit out of you. How does that feel?”
“I accept your terms.” He said, without any fear whatsoever.
“Good, now I’m going to fuck you up so much you won’t be able to walk for a month.”
“We’ll see.” He responded. I looked around the room and saw a little sparring mat and I walked over to it, cracking my knuckles and getting ready to beat him to death. He followed me over, and started eying my armor.
“No armor.”
“Fine.” I said and simply dumped it off onto the ground and a few ponies came forward to collect it. “If you scratch it, I will personally rip out your kidneys.” They paled in shock and sped away to the armory.
“Any other rules you want to instate so I don’t kick your ass too bad?”
“No weapons.”
He was trying to wear me down. That was his game, trying to tire me out. I smiled at him.
“Hey there man. How you doing?” He let out a small growl and sped forward again, but I didn’t dodge his attack. Letting him launch a hoof at my face, I intercepted it and flicked my wrist intending to break his bones. I was rewarded with him doing a spin and he brought his other hoof down on my wrist and I dropped him from the force of the blow. I cracked my knuckles and glared at him. He let out a grin and feigned left.
Sensing his deceit, I quickly brought up my arm and deflected his hoof attack and grabbed him by his throat and briefly lifted him up and then slammed him down. Quickly punching his face and giving him a nasty fist shaped bruise, and I held him down.
“Give up yet?” I asked, unamused.
“Never.” He choked out.
“Fine.” I punched him again and I picked him up, holding him off the ground. I began to squeeze even more and he began to turn red and then purple as oxygen starvation began to kill him. I felt a tap on my leg and I turned around to see a piece of metal flying at my face and I barely ducked under it, dropping Shining in the process. Quickly recovering my bearings, I saw that a whole platoon of soldiers stood in front of me with swords drawn, ready to fight me.
“Are you sure about this?” I asked, deathly low in my tone. “Be sure.” The one who had attacked me stepped forward and brandished his weapon.
“We won’t allow you to kill our commander, or any other ponies.”
I spat at him. “Fuck you.”
He took a slow thrust forward with his sword and I yanked it out of his telekinesis and snapped it on my leg. I had a small gash on my hand, but it was nothing. He backed off a little bit. I eyed the rest of the group who were now whispering among themselves. I stood there, motionless as I waited for them to move. Slowly, a few of them began to back off and the mob dispersed. I turned to Shining who was now once again conscious.
“Next time you listen to me. I don’t have any problems killing you, remember that.”
“You pathetic thing.” He said, shaking his head in disappointment.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You think killing is always the answer. Killing, violence, there are other ways to do this.”
“I know. Killing is just the fastest way to get around my problems.” And I walked out of the room, eyeing a small crowd. Discord and Luna looked at me, and I made eye contact briefly with each of them. Discord looked at me with pity, and Luna was glaring eye daggers. I shook my head and left, not bothering to retrieve my armor.
~~~~~
“Shining are you okay?!”
“Yes princess, I’m fine.”
“He’s becoming less of an asset to us all the time. He’s trying to kill everypony.”
“It’s my fault princess, I provoked him.”
“That’s no reason to strangle somepony!” Luna protested.
“Princess, drop it. I was provoking him, you shouldn’t blame him.”
“But he attacked Celestia! All for mentioning something about his friend! He’s unstable!”
“WHAT?!” Shouted Shining Armor. “HE ATTACKED HER?!? I’m going to track him down and kill him!” He began to gallop away, but was stopped when Luna grabbed his tail.
“You can’t hurt him on your own, and I still haven’t confronted Celestia about it. She must have a say in this too.”
“If you say so.”
~~~~~
“Discord, stop following me.”
“No, not until you talk about it.” Said the fucker that had been pestering me while I walked through the maze of tunnels.
“You obviously have issues, and you need to let them out.”
“What part of, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ Do you not understand?”
“Nothing. But I know that people have to talk about their problems or they manifest themselves in other ways. Such as extreme anger.”
“The reason I’m angry, is because of the fact that ponies won’t fucking drop the issue. They keep pestering me, and all I want is to do my job here and go home.”
“Then let’s do it.” He said simply.
“What?”
“Let’s go kill Chrysalis.”
“How the fuck do you expect to do that. Their fortress is probably damn near impenetrable now and all the ponies here hate me.”
“That’s because you keep attacking them.” I sighed and pinched my nose.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, you could apologize to the ponies you attacked and strangled. From there we coul-”
“Let me stop you there, because I am not going to apologize.”
“Why not?” Asked Discord innocently. I wanted to punch him, but something stopped me.
“Because I’m not the one at fault here!”
“I’m not saying you are, but that doesn’t mean you have to stoop down. You have to be the bigger pony.”
“I’m not a fucking pony.”
“Person, whatever.” We walked in silence for a few more moments.
“Where could I find her?”
“Hospital, end of the hall and third door on the right.”
“You mean, I’ve been walking there this whole time?”
“Yes, you must have a guilty conscience.”
“Keep talking like that, and I’m gonna feed you to a Yao Guai.”
“What’s that?”
“Something that will rip you to shreds without hesitation.”
“Whatever, go in there and apologize.” Discord pointed at the door.
“I never said I was going to apologize. I wanted to know where she was.”
“That’s the denial talking.”
“Go away, I don’t want to listening in.” He said, put his arms up defensively.
“Hey no problem man, it’s cool.” Without another moment's passing, he vanished. Looking around to make sure there were no other ponies around, and I pushed open the door. Inside, I was expecting a hospital, but instead I found a small room that looked more like an infirmary.
“You call this a fucking hospital?” All of the nurses and doctors looked up at once. One of them approached me, while the rest went about their business.
“Hello sir, I am Doctor Stable. Nice to meet you.” He held out his hoof and I glared at him. He let out a small cough and lowered it. “Is there a reason you are here sir? If you don’t need medical attention, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Where’s Celestia?”
“Uhh, she’s in the recovery ward sir, no one's allowed to see her.”
“Bullshit, I strangled her a bit that’s all. You don’t just go to recovery if you have a bruised throat and some oxygen deprivation.”
“Y-you strangled her?” His face went white.
“Yes, and I came to see her.”
“Y-you can’t. S-she’s recovering!” He quickly backed away, and as if on cue a loud complaining voice sounded from across the room.
“I don’t need to be here my little ponies! I’m fine, really!”
“Princess, you need your rest. You were hurt grievously!”
“It’s just some bruising nurse!” Celestia complained and pushed past the nurse.
“ESCAPING PATIENT!” Screamed the nurse suddenly. “WE HAVE TO RESTRAIN HER! ANESTHESIOLOGIST! SEDATE HER!” Without warning, a mob of ponies jumped her and before she could protest she was dragged back into the room.
I narrowed my eyes. “What’s going on there?”
“She has to rest, she was seriously injured.”
“Didn’t look like it, she was walking around just fine.”
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now. We are very busy right now.” The room was empty, save for one pony in a bed.
“Yeahhhh, I’ll be on my way.” I slowly backed out of the room and closed the door gently. I turned around and looked up and down the halls. Still no one here. Quickly and quietly, I slipped into my Chinese Stealth Suit and activated the stealth module. I vanished from sight, leaving only a faint outline of myself.
I knocked on the door three times and when it opened the doctor came out.
“Hello? Anypony here?” He looked left and right. “Huh, must be imagining things.” He turned around and I slipped in behind him. I crouch-walked around him and into the small room where Celestia was.
I opened the door and Celestia was passed out on an operating table in a dark room. A single light shined overhead and she was surrounded by several Changelings.
“We can’t let her get out again, we won’t be able to stop her once her magic returns.”
“Alright, hoof me the neutralizing agent.” One of them handed the other a jar of purple liquid. “Okay, now we have to-”
I deactivated the stealth module and stood up.
“You’re not doing jack shit.” I cracked my knuckles and they paled.
~~~~~
“Alright, so he went in there to apologize to Celestia and he hasn’t come out yet?
“That’s what happened.”
“So he went in there to apologize?”
“Did you not hear me when I said he hasn’t come out yet?” Asked Discord with an upraised eyebrow.
“I’m not buying it. He’s probably in there to finish killing her!” She gasped when she said this. “I’M COMING TIA! HOLD ON!”She yelled and was about to buck open the door when it opened from the other side and a figure tall bipedal figure garbed in black, covered with bits of Changelings and green blood, carrying Celestia over it’s shoulder.
“I believe this belongs to you.” John said, shaking Celestia a bit for emphasis.
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Celestia is the best sack o' potatoes.
Sack of cakes.
I think John has more issues than a member of the 'Think Tank'.........
1361881 i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/210/119/+_2acc5a8841f8752904d37f90a8014829.png?1322693145
1361888
1361881
He has more problems than every person in the wasteland combined.
AWSOME. when is next one coming out
1361934 The future.
gasp
1361983 Exactly.
1361800 agreed... also he doesn't have to do anything hell he never did.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???
1362049 Because it's fun.
NOOOOOOOO
1361800
Hey! That's my line!
-Cortex Repository
1362227 Too bad, I used it first.
the Medic is a spy!
1362280
Spah' sappin my monarch!
1363091
I thought it was a diarchhydl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
1363115
LIES
YOU NEVER SEE LUNA ON THE THRONE IN THE SHOW
1363123
good point........why is that!?
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkCbLTkkPmXyl18knUBal2VuzDIYmQcvQcVFBxfnNnFZGTUzVX9Q
1361800 If he apologizes it should be a half butt apology.... sort of like "Sorry about trying to strangle the life out of you...... But you deserved it."
1366178 Didn't say it wouldn't be.