The Jerk

by Perception Filter

Chapter 12

The Jerk
Chapter 12

Heavy Shot was panicking. There was no doubt about that, because he knew what the screaming was. It was the sound of those things. Those, horrible things. He looked around in a panic as the screaming got louder. There was a scant tree cover, and almost nothing to use as a weapon. Louder screaming. There was nowhere to run or hide. Still looking around, he decided to bolt and ran over some small words scrawled in the mud in his haste.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, you see, uhm, I was just walking around and found this hallway here."

"Are you sure that's what was going on?" 'Luna' asked with a raised eyebrow and the same stoic glare.

I sighed. "No, I guess it isn't." She let out a small smile and a blood-freezing chuckle.

"So, you finally figured it out?"

"No, I knew all along. I was just playing along with you. Listen, I'm sure that we can work this out peacefull-" I was interrupted by a blast of energy to my stomach that sent me flying and I smacked against the wall. I stayed on the ground pretending to be injured as I heard her walking over to me.

"Look at you. A pitiful creature that thinks it could defeat the might of the swarm. So patheti-" I did a spin on the ground to get some momentum and I launched myself at her in the blink of an eye and clocked her across the side of her head with all my might.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heavy Shot was going to die. He just knew it. The screaming was getting closer. He was gradually feeling the effects of exhaustion coming upon him {LoL} and he was slowing down dramatically. He was slowed to a fast walk after several minutes of sprinting away. It wasn't until a particularly loud scream ignited his veins with fire and he picked up the pace again. The screaming was louder than ever.

He was lost. Instead of taking the time to find out where base was, he just took off running, and he was cursing himself for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chrysalis walked up to the disgusting creature before her, that had the NERVE to challenge the might of the swarm! She had incapacitated the thing with minimal effort and was approaching it with disgust in her eyes. She began to berate the creature and was almost finished when he shot up faster than her eyes could follow and her head exploded in pain and her vision went white.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just hit the fake Luna and she fell to the ground in a flash of green fire and in her place was one of the Changelings. only bigger and didn't have compound eyes. After a few moments, she began to struggle a little bit and her eyelids flickered open only to slam shut in pain.

"Learned your lesson?" I spat out at her in a disgusted tone. She curled up a ball and whimpered pathetically.

"People like you disgust me. Thinking they are better than everyone. Hey news flash bitch, I have fought those more powerful than you with bigger armies, and bigger guns. You and I are simply SPECKS of DUST, at the end of time." I punctuated my words by kicking her and cracking her exposed underbelly. "You don't matter, I don't matter. NOTHING DOES!" I screamed as I kicked her one last time and shattered her carapace.

I then proceeded to pick up her shattered body and held it as high in the air as I could.

"NOBODY FUCKS WITH ME!" I screamed and I brought down her back on the front of my knee. She gave a very loud shout of pain and fell still. I took one deep breath and looked away from the almost unrecognizable mass of green blood and black carapace before my anger kicked in again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was almost out of energy. His infrequent bursts of adrenaline could only sustain him for a short period of time and he barely had any reserve energy left. He kept running. He couldn't hear the screaming anymore, the blood pounding in his ears was deafening and he couldn't see. His vision was narrowing to a small patch in front of him, and his lungs were on fire. He tripped over an exposed tree root and landed on a small mud patch. He had to keep going, but it was so comfortable here. Maybe he could just rest his eyes for a few moments.

And everything slipped into black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking out of the god forsaken building that was now empty of life. I walked outside and sat on the front steps and put my hands in my face and let out a long, drawn out sigh.

Awww, are you okay? Came the voice that I had learned to associate with a complete asshole.

"Go away, I don't want to talk to you."

I can't go anywhere because I am not physically there.

"I said go away." I said through clenched teeth.

C'mon, it's okay. You can tell uncle Discord allllll about it. I closed my eyes and counted mentally to ten, got up, and started walking back to the small clearing away from the base. Luckily for him, Discord had gotten the hint and was no longer talking to me...For now. I arrived at the clearing to see a large amount of hoofprints covering the mud and my note was barely legible. I swore under my breath and began heading in the direction of the prints and found nothing for a long while. I eventually came to another small clearing and the prints just stopped.

"They must've flown off." I muttered under my breath and Mr. Asshole decided to speak up.

Duh! Do you think so?! He asked in a mocking dumb tone.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT I SAID EARLIER! I AM GOING TO RIP YOUR INTESTINES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW!" I screamed at him and there were several moments of tense silence.

...That's harsh man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heavy Shot awoke with a throbbing head and a swollen eye. After sitting in the silence for a few minutes, he sat up and examined his surroundings. He was in a near pitch black room and was chained to a stone wall with iron bars surrounding the large room, which had no limits as far as he could see.

Gradually, his vision adjusted and he saw other ponies chained to the same wall he was stuck to and they were all staring at him. He squinted his eyes and made out the face of Shining Armor, and some other of the ex-royal guards.

"Heavy Shot? Is that you?" Said the face that looked like Shining.

"Y-" He was about to say when his voice broke and he began coughing furiously. He faintly heard someone say something about water, but he wasn't sure. After the brief bout of coughing, he looked up to see the pony next to him -who was indeed Shining Armor - offer him a bucket of water with a ladle.

"It tastes like shit, but it's drinkable." Shining said when he saw Heavy Shot sniffing it warily and flinching at whatever it was. He slowly brought the ladle to his lips and drank, only to spew it out all across the floor when he tasted it. Shining sighed and tugged the bucket of water away from him when he turned his nose up at any more.

"What happened? We though you were dead after the Changeling attack, I saw you lying on the ground with a gash on your back."

"I played dead."

"So you admit that you abandoned your post in our time of need?" Shining asked with the same gentle voice.

"Y...Yes." He said with his already low hanging head drooping closer to the ground.

"You son of a bitch." Shining said and he waited for a moment, then he lunged at the poor bartender next to him and began to strangle him. The pony offered no resistance and lied there, waiting to die. The truth was, he wanted to die. He was only a simple bartender and when the Changelings took over he had to go and train, and plot and hide in a musty swamp hoping that they didn't do anything to attract attention.

When he was about to pass out from the hooves around his neck there was a loud shout.

"SHINING! THOU WILL RELEASE THIS POOR PONY AT ONCE!" The shout came from across the room where there was a faint outline of an alicorn. His hooves didn't move.

"I SAID RELEASE HIM! NOW!" There were black flecks dancing on his eyes, spinning around in circles and having a merry time. Next came a softer voice, and whatever was said, it convinced Shining not to kill him. The hooves encircling his neck vanished and he took a deep breath of air through his bruised windpipe and he took several breaths in and out wincing in pain.

"You will have to excuse Shining he is just stressed out at...everything." Came another tone, this one motherly in nature and drastically less loud than Luna's. Princess Celestia.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well then what the fuck do you suggest we do, ASSHOLE?" I shouted the last part at Discord. We were still in the same spot, having an argument over what we should do next. He had eventually convinced me not to maim his still living body and leave his entrails for the crows, which led to what we were doing now.

I am not saying that we shouldn't rescue them, but we really should think it through.

"You just don't want them in charge again right?"

Well...yes.

"So what now then?"

Go rescue them. At least put in a good word for me.

"Why would I do that?"

Because it is so FUCKING BORING being trapped in stone for hundreds of years.

"And...?"

And I am sorry for being an asshole to you.

"That's all I needed to hear." I said with a sigh and I set out for the long walk to Canterlot.

Comments

[Perception Filter]

I think it's pretty obvious by now that my guy is very compulsive, and doesn't think things through.

[Frank DuFresne (Doc)]

1185073 He'd make great cannon fodder. Like a Grunt!

[jmlop0]

1185073The perfect Russian Conscript.

[Rask]

This story makes me laugh and smile.
Also:This is the Best Discord dialog I have read yet.

[TheEnemyCube]

1185105 Blarg! (Agreed!)

[Th4t Dark c0rner]

WOO COMPULSIVE FOR THE WIN!!!!
*Takes shirt off and vomits*

[Cortex]

I decided to catch up on the story and I must say I am pleased.

Now get your fat ass in gear and write more.

I hath spoken!

-Cortex Repository

[Frank DuFresne (Doc)]

1186075 Well, with the IWHBYD skull Grubts are extremely funny. "He flees, thank the nipple" "If I chase him, then I catch him, and then I don't know what to do!" "Don't kill me! Look, I will join your side! (Grunt throws grenade at an ally) See my betrayal? I can join you now, right?" "When has us looking for it ever been a good idea?"

[hungrykiwi]

meowth!
(meowth speak for moreee! )

[dakingofmuffins]

discord want's to be freed. it might just happen.

[Blaze Fury]

YAY!!! Time to go kick some ass and take some names.