• Published 22nd Jan 2017
  • 3,901 Views, 107 Comments

Born For Battle - Brony Parasite



A young girl is sent to Equestria and changed into Phoebe from Battleborn, and gets adopted by Celestia.

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5. A Regular Tuesday... Unfortunately

It’d been almost a week since the Nightmare Moon incident, and Phoebe was lounging on a bench in the middle of Ponyville park. “Hey Marquis, why was I forced to stay in this armpit of a town?” Phoebe asked as she stifled a yawn.

“Princess Celestia thought it would be good for you to stay alongside Twilight and Spike while they lived in Ponyville,” The butler replied, before looking back at her. “She had also taken the liberty of moving all of your materials, contraptions and your… workshop, so to speak, into your quarters and also the confines in the basement of Golden Oaks Library. Out of sight from any possible visitors so no one can annoy you with what you would consider as ‘useless’ questions.”

“Asking me what I’m doing and then after explaining they have no idea what I’m saying-” Phoebe began, before noticing Twilight looking quite irritated. “Oohh~ That looks fun! Hey Twily!”

“O-oh hey Phoebe…” She said, sounding rather stressed for a second before looking around. “Sorry, but today’s been really irritating and I just… need to clear my head a bit.” Before Phoebe could ask though, Twilight just left. Only before noticing Spike nearby as he deeply sighed to himself.

“Man… When can I ever just catch a break?” He said, before Marquis took initiative and decided to speak up.

“Mr. Spike, would you happen to know what is troubling Ms. Twilight?” He asked, causing the dragon to turn and face Phoebe and Marquis before he could bring them up to speed… well, partially up to speed at first.

“Princess Celestia sent Twilight two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala-”

“Why that is an invitation to the biggest social event of the year! How can something like this be troubling Ms. Twilight?” Marquis said, which caused Spike to raise an eyebrow at that.

“Yeah… try telling that to her friends… They all want to go to the Gala and Twilight only has one other ticket… unless if there was something else in the mail specifically for you and Phoebe, it would mean she would have to choose between Phoebe or her friends.”

Phoebe turned away from Twilight, hiding her insane grin. Which… caused Spike to gulp upon seeing it at first. Phoebe then turned back to Twilight, a saddened expression.

“I understand if you want to take one of your new friends… It’s not like I’m as important as the ‘Elements of Harmony’...” Phoebe sighed.

“Hunh… strange… For some odd reason, my BS sensors are peaking at an all time high…” Marquis said to himself. “Ehh, it’s probably not important…”

“Um… I’m still having to think it over… I haven’t even chosen which friend I would want to bring. If I had the choice, I would bring all of you guys…” She said, before running off.

“And the cycle starts all over again…” Spike groaned, chasing after Twilight and leaving Marquis and Phoebe by themselves.

“I’m so not sad. Social events would be the death of me. I’d have to wear dumb crap like a dress.” Phoebe started, laughing maniacally into her hand. “Plus, if I wanted to go, I could just walk in because I’m Celestia’s angel~!”

“And how is this suppose to relate to Ms. Twilight’s current predicament?” Marquis asked her in response, sounding a little puzzled.

“Because, Marquis, I enjoy making Twily stress. I’m her sister, I have to cause a little mischief every now and then. Besides, she’s funny to watch.” Phoebe said, standing up. “Now, mother sent some of the supplies from my lab over. We should pick it up, and see how little Twily’s handling her choice.”

“If I recall correctly, it should already be in the library. All you need to do is just find a place to set it up… with a good amount of lighting from outside of course.” The butler advised her, recalling one time where a young Phoebe called daylight the ‘bane of her existence’. “Other then that, Celestia had already taken care of the hassle with having to… interact with the locals.”

“Oh… Well, why don’t you take care of that. Move it all to the basement. I have something else to do.” Phoebe ordered, turning away. “Thank you for being with me while I contemplated.”

“May I ask what you were contemplating about before I go, Ms. Phoebe?” Marquis asked her. “Perhaps I can think of something to assist you after moving everything to the basement.”

“No, you can’t. This is personal.”

“Ah, my apologies then.” Marquis told her. “Well, I’ll be off. Have a good day, Ms. Phoebe.” Shortly afterwards, the butler went on his way back to the library. Leaving Phoebe to… contemplate on what she was thinking about.

‘There are others of my kind… I might not be the only human trapped here or anywhere else. If that’s the case, and others have a similar power and/or strength, I’ll need to get “friends”... Maybe I can even get one sided trades with their goods.’ Phoebe thought to herself. She’d been contemplating this for the past week, but couldn’t figure out if it would be worth the time and effort she’d put into it. She could gain new knowledge, which would help her gain status with the nobles and cement her importance to Equestria, making her an influential historical figure for the future. Or she could waste years trying to reach other humans that could tear her apart with abilities that she could only dream of. It was an alluring choice she needed to make, else she’d waste her life with stress.

The thing that was slowly making her decide it was worth it was the possibility of gaining immortality. Phoebe was fiercely afraid of death, and the chance that she could attain eternal youth was intoxicating to her emotions. She wanted to find someone who was powerful enough to do this, since she knew there were more humans who gained some form of power like she gained a far superior mind to the one she had before. Her mother might not be able to, but perhaps on another plain of existence, planet in the solar system, or possibly an alternate universe, she could find the solution to her biggest fear.

And now, Phoebe desperately tried to think of a way to find the others of her race. To find those like herself, and reap the rewards of finding gullible or generous humans and/or things that have been stolen from their world. Yet, she had no idea how to even start.

What she needed at that moment was to find evidence of the humans of the past. And she wanted to avoid having Marquis tell anyone. She just needed to find a way to access that information. ‘Mom said that they were around a thousand years ago. Golden Oaks is too small and new, and I can’t check the Canterlot archive because then mom would know what I’m doing… I could try the Everfree Castle, but who knows if they’re rotten or not…’

Phoebe thought long and hard. Until she smiled, an idea flooding her head. ‘Although, they most likely preserved them with an enchantment…’ With her mind made, she made her way to the Castle of the Two Sisters.


It took a while in order for Phoebe to make the same trek that she made with Twilight and her friends on the night that they had to handle Nightmare Moon… but much longer in order to get over her fear of heights from when she had to travel across the bridge again. Since this was during the day, not many of the local beasts were out on hunt unlike at night. Which, Phoebe was relieved about because she did not want to have a mess all over her clothes.

By the time she arrived at her destination… not much had changed. The castle was still the same way as it was before, but with the added light from the sun, it allowed for Phoebe to investigate the old ruins further. See if she could uncover any hidden chambers that wouldn’t be as noticeable the first time around.

Yet early on… hovering around the room with the shoes she had on didn’t exactly do anything that would help. It was only when she actually took a step down and pushed one of her feet down on the floor did the stone slab move down… and part of a wall began to lower itself, revealing a secret chamber… and a couple of books falling out from behind it. Out of curiosity, Phoebe herself walked over to see what fell on the floor… Yet, it turned out that the book was more focused on special dessert recipes than knowledge.

But that was not what got her attention. What really got her attention… was the entire room filled with books that were neatly organized in dozens and dozens of rows and shelves. It was a gold mine of knowledge that she had uncovered… and she couldn’t be able to hold in her excitement at this.

Before she could be able to open any books though, she heard the sound of footsteps and turned around to see Marquis standing not far from where she was. “Uh… Ms. Phoebe… I believe we have ourselves a situation back in town involving Ms. Twilight.”

“What in Equestria are you talking about, Marquis? And how the tartarus did you find me?” Phoebe asked, annoyance evident on her face.

“Well… it appears that the townsfolk in town have gone crazy since news spread all over town about the Gala like wildfire. Now a mob of ponies are chasing after Twilight in order to get the spare ticket she has like shoppers in the Canterlot market district during the holidays.” Marquis told her. “Also, you were the one to place a tracking node in your gown just in case some hideous vandal tried to steal your most prized work.”

“Alright then, smartass. Let’s go get Twily out of her pickle.” Phoebe sighed in aggravation. Something inside of her, though, said that something important to her was in the library. This feeling caused a sharp pain in her chest. When Marquis wasn’t looking, Phoebe let a joyful tear escape her eye. ‘I can finally find them.’


Twilight ran as fast as she could from the mob of ponies chasing her and begging for the ticket. In her haste, she didn’t realize that Phoebe had teleported in front of her. The two of them ended up in a pile.

Phoebe, with the wind knocked out of her, cackled. “Impale me with your horn, please!”

“P-phoebe!?” Twilight stuttered in response once she realized who she ran into. “W-what are you doing here?!”

“Thought I’d save my sister from her new fan… mares? Yeah, fanmares.” Phoebe replied, standing up and taking deep breaths.

“I highly doubt that a mob chasing you would consist of fanmares-” She said, before getting up and realizing something. “Uh oh…”

“THERE SHE IS!! AFTER HER, QUICKLY!!”

“Oh horseapples… Not again!” Twilight spoke up, trying to see how far away she was from the Library in order to keep herself locked up until things died down.

Of course… that was before Phoebe stepped in. “Don’t worry, I’ll hold them off if you’ll give me the ticket~” She said, waving one of the Five Virtues around. Twilight personally wanted to ask why would she want the ticket if she had already specifically said that she wasn’t a fan of royal get togethers, but with the possibility of her getting trampled on her mind, the only thing that she could do was give it to her so she could safely get back to the Library without having to use up her magic to teleport.

“Here, just… whatever you do, don’t hurt them please.” She said, before running off to the library… which had everypony else’s attention now focus on Phoebe.

“Hey, that blond maned monkey has the ticket! GET HER!!”

Phoebe’s eyes widened at that. “Monkey? Monkey!?”

“Yeah, what else are we suppose to call you lady!?” Another pony shouted, just as the stampede of ponies were getting closer.

“Superior!” She swiped the Five Virtues, having herself and her sabers spin around in a circle before backing up a few feet. Before the ponies could even come close to her, swords made of light began to rain down where she was before. ‘Alright, bad idea!’ She thought as she realized it shorted out her suits power. But… it seemed to have done the trick as the mob itself was backing farther away from the swarm of swords that were raining down from the sky and buying her time to get out of there.

She sighed when she made it to Twilight’s house and practically broke through the door with how hard she rammed into it. Inside were the Elements of Harmony and Spike.

“Twilight, I can’t get rid of all of your problems!” Phoebe shouted at her sister.

“Did you… just try to impale a crowd of ponies with a storm of swords?” Rainbow asked, looking at it from outside before the storm soon disappeared. “That… is just as awesome as me.”

“I’d call it a sword storm. And it’s something new I’ve been working on. Very tough figuring out the power problem…” Phoebe replied. “So! You decide who you’re giving the extra ticket to, Twily?” The unicorn, upon hearing Phoebe say that… felt a bit uncomfortable with her bringing up the subject… but after a few seconds, she made her decision.

“I… Girls, I’m sorry… I just can’t decide who to pick… I don’t want to disappoint anypony and rather not want have just one other pony come to the gala if it’s going to upset everypony else…” Twilight then decided to just take a moment to calm herself down before turning to Phoebe. “Phoebe, give me back the ticket. I’m sending them back to Princess Celestia. This whole things been one huge mistake.”

“Okay.” Phoebe shrugged, before she pulled the ticket from her glove and held it out. Twilight used her magic to put the two tickets she had together and had Spike write a friendship report to Celestia. However… it was seconds after originally sending it that the dragon burped out a scroll with the princess’ seal on it.

“Wow, that was fast…” Rainbow replied, looking back at Spike. “What does it say?”

“It says… “My dearest Twilight…… Why didn’t you say so? Enclosed in this letter is eight tickets for the Gala. One for you, five for your friends, and two additional ones if Phoebe and Marquis decide to join the event. Sincerely, Princess Celestia” … Well… that was something.” The dragon replied, now holding eight tickets in his claw as Twilight and the others looked at him.

“I can sell our tickets for a high price~” Phoebe said as she took Marquis and her tickets.

“You do realize it’s illegal to redistribute these for profit under any circumstances right?” Twilight said back to her. “It’s in the fine print on the back of the ticket.”

“And Celestia’s daughter has to abide by the rules… Why?” Phoebe asked, grinning.

P.S.” Spike began to read from the bottom of the letter. “I happened to have notice a strange flurry of swords rain from the sky earlier. If that were to be Phoebe’s doing, please inform her that if I find her misuse of her technology for ill purposes that I may have to resort to drastic actions if this continues on.

“Write back to her that Twilight told me to do it.” Phoebe stated before scurrying to the basement. Which, lead to Spike sighing as he did the rather… odd request from Phoebe.


Elsewhere (Earlier in the day)

The Everfree Forest. Habitat to many exotic creatures that call the swamps and trees home. It was in the forest that afternoon that two of the locals were scavenging for any materials they could find. One looking from the tops of the trees while the other looking down on the ground.

However, it was from up above that something caught the attention of the one in the trees. Something that… even they can’t personally wrap their head around in that moment. “Holy-!” They spoke, before looking down at their companion and quickly motioning for them to come see what she was seeing. “Hey, get up here! You gotta come see this!”

Their companion groaned before climbing up the tree that they were leaning against. “Huh… Ponies are weird… All the more reason to avoid them.”

“I highly doubt a sword the size of a building appearing out of nowhere was done by a pony.” The first one then spoke up, pointing out the sight to her companion with what looked like a claw from a dangerous beast. “We should probably tell Zecora for when she has to go to Ponyville. I highly doubt telling Boldur or the others would be good right now. Especially with how scared Alani can get sometimes.” All that she got in response was a disgruntled nod of the head as both of them got back down from the tree and began to walk back down the dirt path towards a hut in the middle of the forest.

Upon approaching the hut… was when both of them got a surprise. In the form of a wave crashing into them, soaking them while also knocking them to the ground. “Cannonball!!”

Which… only lead to severely angering one of the two.

“Alani!!!” The white haired woman screamed.

“Oh… Heh… Sorry.” A blue skinned girl replied.

The first one looked back at the water monk, sighing for a moment before asking her a question. “Was soaking Thorn and I really necessary?”

“Hey, you weren’t in my peripheral vision when I jumped!” Alani shouted in defiance. “Besides, a little water never hurt anyone! And Thorn hasn’t taken a shower in a week, so why are you complaining?”

“She’s just like dad… Argue argue argue…” Thorn growled. “Can I finally snap her neck?”

That just lead to the other figure facepalming herself as she looked back at Thorn. “No, you are not snapping anyone’s neck… How many times have you asked me that now? I’ve lost count after fifty seven.”

“It was less than fifty. She usually tries to shoot me with an arrow, so a neck snapping’s refreshing.” Alani added.

“Oh shut up, no one asked you.” Thorn shot back.

“Can you two please cut it out?” The other asked, “And Alani, are you seriously saying that Thorn trying to kill you by snapping your neck is ‘refreshing’? That’s like saying that Poison Joke has positive health benefits.”

“No, it’s just refreshing that she’s saying that instead of ‘I’m going to kill you’, or ‘can I shoot her with an arrow’. Sometimes you get bored of the same old threats.” Alani replied. “Like for instance, I think your hair looks like a skunk. That’s new, and refreshing!”

Now that she was called out, the aelfrian in particular sounded rather… iritated by Alani’s comments. “I have a name… It’s-”

“Mellka!! You’re back!!”

“-Oh god, no.” The Aelfrian replied, turning around to see a dwarf with a crazy beard and a tree stump on his back along with that of a Zebra near the entrance of the hut. “Oh… Zecora… Just the Zebra I needed to see.”

“Ah yes, you have returned from your stroll…” The Zebra in particular replied back to Mellka. “Come on inside… or dinner will be cold.”

“Dinner!” Alani screamed before rushing inside. Which, only lead to the two coming inside as they set their weapons aside and sat down inside the hut. For their meal this evening, it was an herbal stew that was made up of some indigenous plants and spices that Zecora was able to find in the everfree with the help of Boldur and Alani. Both in which were really eager to dig into this evening’s meal.

Yet, it was while they were eating that Mellka decided to bring up what she had seen earlier today. “So… On our small patrol of the Everfree, Thorn and I saw something that was rather… off.”

Upon hearing that, Zecora paused for a moment, setting down her bowl in order to speak to the Aelfrian. “Off, you say? Then tell us what you saw today…”

“Well… While I was up in the trees earlier this afternoon, I saw what looked like a giant sword of light crash in the middle of that one pony town nearby-.”

“Bah!! That just sounds like magic! No sword, real or magic, can stop the might of Boldur or the Eldrid!” The dwarf that was listening proclaimed… interrupting Mellka in the process.

“I wasn’t done, Boldur… Originally, I thought it would be magic, but then I remembered that anytime I see or feel magic, my bio-gauntlet would react to that by glowing,” She pointed out, setting her left hand on the table, which was the one with the green monster like claw. “However, when this occurred, nothing of that sort happened… and it wasn’t just me who saw it either. Thorn did too.”

“Yeah.” Thorn added in an uninterested tone.

“Swords? What are those?” Alani asked.

“Pointy things that make you a shishkabob.” Thorn replied.

“You’re a shishkabob!” Alani shouted, jamming a finger in Thorn’s face. Which Thorn proceeded to bite, causing Alani to scream and yank her hand back. “Thornie bit me!”

“Thorn, do not use Alani’s words as a reason to terrorize,” Zecora said sternly to the elf. “Now, release her from your bite and apologize.”

Thorn rolled her eyes but let go of the blue skinned girl. Alani then began to nurse her finger. All while Mellka had one last thing to say

“Point is… I’m beginning to think that we aren’t the only ones here anymore…”


In a distant sky stood an old human man with a balding head and a goatee. He looked out of the window of his massive airship and saw the falling swords of light.

“There she is…” The man said to himself, a grin forming on his aging, withered face. “I finally found you, Salma.” He finished, placing a gloved hand on the window.

Author's Note:

Next chapter's the mandatory crossover. It's mostly filler, with Phoebe meeting other humans for the first time. If you don't want to read the crossover bit, then read the opening and the end because they're important.