• Published 22nd Jan 2017
  • 3,882 Views, 107 Comments

Born For Battle - Brony Parasite



A young girl is sent to Equestria and changed into Phoebe from Battleborn, and gets adopted by Celestia.

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3. Nightmare On Ponyville Street

(Chapter 3: Nightmare On Ponyville Street)

Phoebe grumbled as she sat inside of Twilight’s house, watching Spike finish wrapping a present.

“Is that for that Twilight lookalike…?” Phoebe asked the little drake as she tossed a book she was skimming through.

“No, it was a present I was putting together for Twilight’s friend, Moondancer. The two may look alike, but unlike Twilight, Moondancer wears glasses. It’s her birthday today and I thought that since Twilight had been too busy working on things for the princess that I would go bring this to her.” The dragon replied. “Twilight does have a habit of unintentionally forgetting things, including other ponies. But I don’t think she would want to forget Moondancer… unless of course she wants it to come back and haunt her for who knows how long.”

“Trust me Spike, Twilight doesn’t care. Besides, what’s the point in birthdays?” Phoebe shrugged, standing up and stretching.

“Says the same girl who was completely angry over the fact that she did not want to stop working when Twilight went through the hard work of setting up a party for you.” Spike deadpanned, causing Phoebe to look back at him with an evil glare.

“Birthdays are a waste of time. You go to a social event, get presents, which I have no need of, and get sweets, which once again, I could get any other day. Twilight wasted her time with that event when she could’ve done anything else, maybe something that’d help her.”

Spike now grumbled a little as he stared back at Phoebe. “Nopony can always get what they want all the time Phoebe. Sometimes you have to work for it. Now excuse me while I go deliver this to Moondancer.” He told her as he stepped out of the room, remembering something off the top of his head. “Oh and heads up… Celestia told me to let you know that she wants to talk to you at your earliest… convenience.”

“Ugh, fine. That’ll be next week.” Phoebe tried to dodge.

“No, she want’s to see you now. She says it’s urgent and that if you don’t see her, she’ll take away your tech and your tools.” The Dragon then told her.

Phoebe’s eye twitched. “O-okay! Tell her I’ll be there in a minute!” Phoebe then jumped out of an open window and teleported to the ground. However, in her rush to not be late for Princess Celestia, there was one obstacle that she did not happen to notice in the process of hurrying to the Grand Hall.

The door.

Celestia was sipping her afternoon tea with a peaceful smile. It was interrupted, however, when she head a loud thunk. Sighing for a moment, she set down her tea, got up from her throne and trotted over to the door while also unlocking the door with a quick spell. Shortly afterwards, the doors swung wide open as she soon found Phoebe on the other side with a bruise on her forehead.

“Didn’t I always suggest for you to look before you leap?” Celestia then asked her. Of course, she wasn’t really expecting an answer from her, but Phoebe still gave her one back.

“I was… The handle slipped…” Phoebe groaned. One of the guards, a new one, looked in confusion while his partner looked stoic.

“There’s no handle on the doors to the grand hall.” Celestia reminded her, before clearing her throat for a moment. “Still though, I’m glad you were able to come. I wanted to talk to you about something important.”

Phoebe stood up, groaning as she held her head. “Spit it out, mum…”

“Well, to simply put it, I’m having you go with Twilight to help with setting up the Summer Sun Celebration in the town of Ponyville. I’m going to be there later in the evening to help begin the ceremony for it this evening, but I would like both you and Marquis to go there and help both Twilight and Spike.” She paused for a moment, before adding one more thing. “Please do note to make sure Marquis doesn’t exactly cause any… trouble while you are there.”

“I make no promises…” Phoebe growled, glaring at her mother. “Why do I have to go?”

“Because many hooves… or hands for you… make light work. Plus, it has come to my attention that you seem to be separating yourself from here over the past couple of months. So this would give the two of you the chance to spend some time together.” Celestia replied back.

“Fine… Not like I can say no…” Phoebe groaned, “Anything else?”

“Just keep in mind that Ponyville isn’t exactly the same as Canterlot. Which is why I advised you to make sure Marquis doesn’t do anything too… well Marquis.” The princess sighed before looking at Phoebe. “Think what he does with Blueblood, but apply that to almost everypony in town.”

“Oh fuuu-” Phoebe stopped mid-sentence.

“The carriage for you and Twilight should arrive within the hour. There would not be a need for any weapons at the event, but do prepare yourself in case of emergencies.” Celestia advised her before turning around for a moment.. “In the meantime, I need to talk with Kibitz about the plans for tonight's ceremony and the speech I’m going to be giving. I wish the both of you the best of luck.”

“You tell Sparkle about this, I won’t.” Phoebe said, raising her hands up in the air. Celestia smiled a little bit and nodded in understanding as Phoebe then stormed out of the hallway while she was going back to find Kibitz. “Where should I go to wait?”

“Some of the carriages take off from the courtyard landing zone along the wall. It would be best to wait there. I already informed the guards of your departure later, so there shouldn’t be any trouble.” Celestia promised her as Phoebe walked out the door. She was going to advise her to make sure that door did not hit her on the way out… but unfortunately, fate had other ideas.

Thunk. Phoebe fell to the floor, groaning. “I’m okay…” That just caused Celestia to chuckle a little bit, but it was was unseen or unheard by Phoebe since the door was already closed shut. Now she needed to make sure to get her things together… and tell Marquis what Celestia told her. And only one of those things was going to turn out well.


“She said WHAT!?” Marquis shouted. A few moments ago, Phoebe had to… break the news about where they were going… and the circumstances of they were going to. “Why would she ask for me to not shoot any hobo’s while we are on travel?! The circumstances weren’t the same with those idiotic liberal arts major’s around here!”

“I know, I know, we’re better than them. Well, apparently we need them to make food and keep our economy running.” Phoebe explained. “Plus, she did allow me to tell you that if anyone attacks me, you can shoot that pony.”

“So there are exceptions… Still, why would she have you go here to Hobotown in the first place?” The robot then questioned.

“You remember the Summer Sun Celebration?” Phoebe asked.

“Yeah, what about-.” Marquis flinched for a moment upon hearing that, only to say the first thing that came to mind. “Oh… so is this some form of mandatory community service or some other form of ‘mental torture’ for you?”

“I think it’s both.” Phoebe groaned. Only causing for Marquis to sigh before looking back at her.

“Well, this would give you the chance to get out of the castle. Celestia’s been concerned about you being secluded in your room all the time.” The robot pointed out. “Other than coming out for meals or to talk with your mother, you’ve been in there almost all the time.”

“I’ve not…” Phoebe said, playing with her gloves.

“Remember when you were working on the stun batons and you called them the “Shocking Rod’s”? You could’ve easily asked Twilight or Shining for ideas for a name, but decided to call them that until I told you that “Shock Baton” would sound a lot less… complicated.” Marquis reminded her of the days when she started to work on Shining’s idea for the guard… and also claim that sleep was the enemy of progress.

Just before Phoebe could even protest though, Marquis opened up the curtains in the back of the room to let in the sunlight as Phoebe flinched. “Gaahh! Not natural light! My weakness!” She hissed, using her hands to shield her eyes.

“And I believe that demonstrates exactly what I mean.” Marquis told her, still letting the sunlight in. “Maybe it would be a good idea for you to take a break from your work… even though it’ll take all my resolve to not shoot any hobo-morphic entities we come across along the way.” Her butler did make a valid point. Sometimes, when Phoebe was working so hard on certain projects, she felt as if there was a lack of… inspiration to help her finish what she had started. Even though Phoebe was skeptical that she would find inspiration in a town in the middle of nowhere, the fresh air could help.

“Fine, I get your point.” Phoebe said defeatedly. “I hate it when my inventions tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. Get a coach or something ready.”

“Didn’t the princess happen to make arrangements for us to be with Ms. Sparkle in relations to travel?” Marquis then asked.

“I said or something, implying I want you to do something that doesn’t bother me!” Phoebe said, raising her voice with every word she uttered.

“My apologies,” The Butler then spoke as the two of them walked outside. “I was asking since it seems that Ms. Sparkle has been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes. I saw her waving her hooves from the window as we were proceeding through the hall.”

“Oh…” Phoebe turned to the window.

“I guess I’ll make some preparations then,” Marquis added on that note. “Would you like for me to prepare the clothes you would normally wear and have them packed in a travel case?”

“Only get the necessities. I’ll see you in a bit, Marquis.” Phoebe said, before heading out to locate Twilight. The robotic butler nodded, going back to prepare the luggage that was needed for the trip along with other items that may be necessary for him to bring. The most important one being Bindlebane… in case any stray hobo’s happened to spontaneously show up somewhere on their journey.

Phoebe met Twilight outside of the human’s home, an umbrella shielding her from the sun. “Forgive me, I was busy tracking thoughts.”

“It’s alright. I’m pretty excited that we got the chance to go on this trip together,” Twilight replied as she looked back at Phoebe. “I’m really interested to see what life is like outside of Canterlot based on what I have read.”

“Even though I keep having to remind her that not everything is how it’s like in the books.” A tired out Spike panted, almost passing out from having to carry the Saddlebags Twilight needed… along with the extra set of saddlebags just in case of emergencies. When he did catch his breath, the baby dragon turned to Phoebe and began to speak again. “I don’t see how she has the time to speed read the story of the elements of harmony and get herself ready within a short amount of time. I think she gets that from you.”

“I think you’re missing the emergency emergency saddlebag.” Phoebe stated.

Twilight thought that over, before realizing what she was talking about. “Oh hay, you are right! Spike, can you go get those for me?” All that did was have Spike fall face first into the ground. Groaning to himself as he tried to push himself off the floor of the loading zone for luggage. “Nevermind, I’ll be back in a second.” In the blink of an eye, Twilight teleported out of the area, only for the unicorn to return back with the necessary saddlebag. “There. All done. Do you have everything that you need, Phoebe?”

“Marquis handles that stuff.” Phoebe replied. Shortly before noticing her butler carry the suitcase full of her clothes.

“Alright, I guess we’re all set then.” She said, before looking back at Phoebe. “You might want to take a seat and hold onto something.” Phoebe just nodded and complied.

“Why?” She asked, confused.

“Well, it is a chariot… being flown by pegasi…” She said, shortly before the chariot they were on began to lift off the ground as they began to move through the sky. Something that caught Phoebe and Marquis by surprise since they haven’t actually traveled this way before… or traveled at all since they have been in Canterlot for several years and have not gone outside of it’s walls before.

“Get me back on the ground!” Phoebe suddenly screamed, before hugging Marquis’ leg. “I’m afraid of heights!” That just caused Twilight to giggle a little before Spike looked at the robot butler and posed a question for her.

“Is that… well normal for her?”

“More often then you would think.” Marquis deeply sighed. Looking back at Twilight before posing a question of his own. “Out of curiosity, is this the only conventional form of travel other than the carriages we’ve seen around Canterlot?”

“Well, no. There is the trains and railroad system, but it would take us three times as long to reach our destination rather than flight. Just… don’t look down and you should be fine.” She suggested, trying to make things sound less… intimidating.


“Phoebe, you can let go of Marquis now. We’re just about to land.” Twilight assured her as the chariot they were on was beginning to set down. Throughout the thirty minutes it took in order to reach Ponyville from Canterlot, Phoebe’s fear of heights had been gripping at her throughout the flight. Now, as they were setting down, she could finally catch her breath from the horrifying experience she just went through.

The human fell onto her back as she attempted to ease the stress that she’d obtained throughout the flight, sighing and panting. “Ms. Phoebe, you not have to worry anymore. Your half hour nightmare from hell has ended.” Marquis promptly said to her, not even extending a hand to help her up until a few minutes afterwards once Phoebe was not freaking out every few moments.

“Come on now, it didn’t seem that bad.” Spike began to speak before being shushed by Twilight.

“Spike, Phoebe isn’t… well… a big fan of heights so to speak.” She informed him on the side as they looked back at her while she was trying to find her footing on solid ground.

“You think…?” Phoebe grunted feebly, feeling light headed.

“We should be fine now though,” Twilight told her as she looked around for a moment before referring back to a piece of parchment in her saddle bag. “Now… the pony that we’re suppose to be looking for that is awaiting our arrival is Mayor Mare… Perhaps maybe one of the locals knows where she might be right now.”

Spike was going to suggest something, but did not get the chance to speak as Twilight soon approached what was a Pink earth pony with a pink mane and tail and three balloons for a cutie mark. “Excuse me, miss. Do you know where the mayor's office would be-?” Yet, the only response that Twilight actually got was that same mare gasping out of surprise before galloping off at speeds that even made Marquis question his calculations since it was beyond anything he had ever seen before.

“Brilliant… the first pony we meet is a pink hobo who leaves us in the dust… how rude of them.” The butler grumbled as he readjusted his hat.

“At least she didn’t speak to us… Based off of that gasp, she sounds annoying…” Phoebe grimaced at the thought.

“Or if somepony had too much sugar.” Spike then said, looking at Twilight.

“Perhaps there’s somepony else around town that can help answer the questions the pink hobo didn’t.” Marquis then suggested.

“Or they’re all the same…” Phoebe quipped in a cruel tone.

“Don’t be so quick to presume. We haven’t even been here for a few minutes yet,” Spike replied. “We may actually meet somepony that might have a similar set of… standards like you and Marquis do.”

“We could always go back-.”

“The chariot left already.” Spike pointed out, interrupting Marquis’ statement as both Phoebe and her servant saw the chariot in the sky and leaving Ponyville airspace.

“Dam-” Phoebe started, but stopped remembering her company. “Uh, would’ve been nice to see. I heard there was a dam in Pawningville.”

“You mean Ponyville?” Spike asked.

“Hobo’s pawn, right?” Phoebe said slyly, holding out her hand to Marquis for a high five.

“What are you doing, Ms. Phoebe?” Marquis asked, before noticing something. “Now where did Ms. Twilight wander off too?”

“She probably went to go ask somepony else while we were talking,” Spike sighed before looking back at them. “I’ll go catch up, just…… try to not get yourself in trouble.”

“Trouble’s my middle name, Spike,” Phoebe boasted jokingly. “Actually it’s Elizabeth Audelia, but I prefer trouble.” That just caused Spike to roll his eyes as he ran to catch up with Twilight while Marquis was still with her.

“You didn’t answer my question, Ms. Phoebe. What exactly were you trying to do?”

“It’s a high five…” Phoebe groaned. “Or a high hoof. Ponies and my race slap their ends of their arms to signify a positive reaction to something that the one you high five has done, or the opposite.”

“Is this some form of social custom I am unaware of? Because the closest thing that is in my database for that kind of action is for if you were to slap someone… or somepony.” Marquis then stated. “Preferably against hobos within a three to five foot radius.”

“Yeah, well I’ll program it into your database later…” Phoebe grumbled. “So, where are we supposed to stay?”

“I would presume that Twilight might take care of the living situation once she finds the mayor.” Marquis then pointed out, before noticing something that caught his attention as he looked at a sign outside what looked like a carousel shaped building. “Hmm… perhaps this may take some interest.”

“What is it Marquis?” Phoebe asked.

“It appears that this building here is actually a boutique…” Marquis informed her, looking back as he pointed out the sign. “And some of it from the outside has the same particular style that you would find at similar stores in Canterlot, but this one allows for you to order custom made designs for clothes as well. I just figured that after what happened with the last designer sometime ago that maybe this one would see more… fit towards you.”

“I suppose so… As long as they don’t freak out about my appearance…” Phoebe announced, mostly to herself. As she walked over, Marquis held the door open for her as they both walked in. Immediately, they could see numerous different styles and appearances for clothes and dresses on multiple mannequins scattered throughout the room as they happened to hear a voice in the background talk to itself.

No no no… this won’t do… this won’t do at all! I told Sweetie Belle to get some blue cloth from the market, not cerulean! How am I supposed to make a blue dress when the color of the fabric can’t match the rest of the outfit?

“Hunh… whoever that mare is strangely reminds me of you, Ms. Phoebe.” Marquis commented.

“Shut up you rust bucket…” Phoebe seethed. Both of them heard a bell chime from the door closing behind them along with the sound of hooves moving across the floor.

“Be right there!” The mare said in a charming tone as she came around the corner. Upon first glance, the two of them noticed that the mare they just heard was actually a white unicorn with a purple mane and tail and a cutie mark of three diamonds as she began to speak. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! How may I-.” Upon laying sight on them, the mare paused for a moment as she looked at both Phoebe and Marquis. “O-oh my… that gown and suit…”

“I know, it’s unbefitting of a lady…” Phoebe rolled her eyes.

“Not at all! In fact, it’s anything BUT that!” The mare proclaimed, “My, who designed those? They are just a marvelous work of art. Marvelous, I say!!”

“Why thank you for your compliments,” Marquis replied back. “Ms. Phoebe designed them herself.” Personally, Phoebe was a little embarrassed by the last remark, but still, she had some questions for the mare that was speaking to them. Like for example, who was she?

“Who… Are you, again?” Phoebe asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Oh, my dearest apologies, I almost forgot to introduce myself!” The Unicorn replied as she looked back at Phoebe and her butler. “My name is Rarity. I’m a seamstress and the owner of the Carousel Boutique… And who might you two be?”

“I’m Phoebe… I’m an engineer and scientist. You must know of my work, even if you have no clue who I am.” The human stated proudly. “I’m visiting for the Summer Sun Celebration.”

“Phoebe… as in Phoebe Elizabeth Audelia Hemsworth IV, adopted daughter of Princess Celestia and Scientific Marvel of our time!?” Rarity gasped, rushing over in order to shake her hands. “It is such AN HONOR to meet you in person! I have always wanted to meet some of the most well known nobles in Canterlot and I never dreamed or expected for one to walk through my front door!”

“I’m well known?” Phoebe asked, placing a finger to her lips. In all honesty, she didn’t think anyone would know about her. She’d never really left the Castle, and the servants were all level headed not to freak out, even if there was danger. So she couldn’t really gauge her popularity. Never helped that the nobles either called her a monkey like Blueblood, or kissed up to her in front of Celestia. “I guess I never really… Thought that I was well known, to be blunt. Y’know, cause not many people are in my life often.”

“Well, then I would really like to have the opportunity to get acquainted with you,” Rarity chimed, before looking at the robot next to her. “Oh, you forgot to introduce your companion-.”

“That is not necessary,” Marquis interjected. “My name is Marquis D Caliber. Personal butler of Ms. Phoebe, servant, and vanquisher of any wretched hobomorphic entities that may threaten her life and the lives of those that she knows.”

“Uh… I made him when I was angsty.” Phoebe stated. “He’s my butler. Don’t mind his violent tendencies, he doesn’t actually vanquish anypony.”

“I don’t mind. He just wants to protect you, that’s all,” The unicorn said as she trotted over to a nearby table that had a teapot and a few cups on it. “I have a sister of my own I would do anything in order to help her. Marquis just wants to do the same… Would you like some tea? I was going to have another pot ready soon.”

“That’s fine, maybe later. I need to help a friend. We’re Making sure that the Summer Sun Celebrations go off perfectly.” Phoebe said, turning to Marquis. “Hey, you know what we’re supposed to do again?”

“I believe our task was to assist Twilight with preparations for the opening ceremony and-.” Marquis paused for a moment as he looked outside, only to see something that startled him. “Dear god, Twilight’s been hobofied!!!”

Phoebe groaned, massaging her temples as she looked out the window. But when she saw Twilight, she nearly spat any saliva in her mouth. Twilight’s mane was a mass of fluff, split ends coming out every which way.

“Holy bad mane day!” Phoebe nearly shouted, snorting at her “sister”. “That’s hilarious!”

“What exactly is going on over there?” Rarity asked out of curiosity, trotting over to where Phoebe was and looking at her to see if she knew why Marquis was acting the way he was.

“Looks like my friend’s become accustomed to Ponyville, she’s gone wild!” Phoebe laughed, pointing at Twilight. All Rarity personally saw it though… was a complete and utter fashion disaster. “We better help her tho-” Before she could finish, Rarity was already dragging Twilight and Spike into the Boutique and up the stairs. The wannabe Princess got curious and went up the stairs. What she saw though, horrified her.

Rarity was strangling Twilight’s stomach with a corset, and using her weight to make sure it was tight. Phoebe’s eyes were wide with shock as she backed away slowly. All while Marquis just looked at Phoebe blankly. “Is something troubling you, Ms. Phoebe?”

“N-no, just having flashbacks…” Phoebe stated with a nervous laugh before turning around and almost dashing away.

“Hunh…” Marquis said to himself for a moment before looking in the same direction where Phoebe was running off too. “I wonder what that was all about.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know-.” Marquis was startled by that, looking down to see Spike standing down by Marquis’ feet as he was looking back at the dragon.

“Holy-! Where did you come from?”

“I’ve… been standing here the last five minutes waiting on Twilight…” Spike told him as Marquis looked back at him before looking back outside. Something told him that this was definitely going to be a long afternoon.

Especially if they ran into that pink hobo again.

Later, Phoebe floated alongside Twilight’s side.

“So… Care to tell me what’s got you in a sour mood? And who’s the father?” Phoebe asked, pointing to Twilight’s stomach which was much bigger than before. Twilight, in a fit of anger, used her magic to tear off all the clothes that were on her and throw it in a nearby dumpster.

“Everypony here is just CRAZY!! I’ve already had to handle not just what Rarity did… It was also Rainbow Dash soaking me wet and getting me into this mess, but I have been barely able to get ANYTHING done in preparation for the celebration!” The Unicorn furiously vented. “It’s been one thing after another!!”

Phoebe swiped the list out of Spike’s claws. “Let’s see… You only have one more preparation to check, and it’s the music. Apparently, a mare named Fluttershy’s training birds to sing…”

“Okay, at least that sounds simple enough… where would she be?” Twilight asked, taking the list and putting it in front of her face to try and examine it… while also unknowingly colliding into a yellow butter like pegasus with a pink mane & tail along with a cutie mark of three butterflies on her flank.

Almost instantly, Phoebe felt her heart melting at the sight of the mare. She yelped, which caused birds in a tree to scramble away. She looked so shy and insecure, it reminded Phoebe of herself when she was younger. “O-oh my… I-i’m so sorry, are you alright?” She squeaked in a whisper like tone of voice.

“She’s fine.” Phoebe said, waving her hand dismissively. Which only cause the pegasus to notice her, along with a blush to appear on her face and her eyes widening.

“O-oh… h-hello…” She squeaked again, noticing Phoebe as Twilight was getting her sense back in order. “W-who are you?”

“Phoebe. This is Twilight, Spike, and Marquis.” Phoebe stated, pointing to each of them respectively. “We’re visiting Ponyville to see to it that everything for the Summer Sun Celebration goes perfectly. And you?”

“Um… I-i was just walking to… t-talk to the birds…” The pegasus nervously replied.

“Oh… Well, don’t let us keep you… Pegasus…” Phoebe said, looking around awkwardly.

“...... F-fluttershy…”

“Uh, that’s a pretty name.” Phoebe said, leaning towards Marquis. “What the hell do I say…?” She whispered.

“I apologize, but it seems that we didn’t quite hear you. Could you please speak up? Ms. Phoebe has some hearing difficulties because of all the time she spends around loud machinery.” Marquis then said… which was not what Phoebe was going for.

“I will disassemble you…” She threatened.

“F-fluttershy…” The pegasus then spoke up. “That’s my name. It’s Fluttershy.”

“Oh! We’re supposed to see how the rehearsals are. You think they’re ready? Your birds, I mean.” Phoebe asked, a smile on her face. Fluttershy nodded, looking to the nearby tree as a few birds soon flew from it and were beginning to sing in perfect harmony as the pegasus looked back at them.

“W-we’ve been practicing for a while now and we’re really excited for when we get to perform tonight… W-will you… be there?” She asked.

“Of course. My family will be on stage… Never been to ones outside of Canterlot though, so it’s really exciting.” Phoebe said, looking a bit giddy. She spun around to Marquis, clapping her hands. “Alright, I’m ready to have dinner! Or at least a snack, cause it’ll be a long night! Marquis, what are we having?”

“Maybe there’s something back in town-.” Spike said. But upon speaking, that’s when Fluttershy noticed him and then bolted to hide behind a tree upon realizing that Spike was a baby dragon.

“It appears that you somehow startled her, Mister Spike.” Marquis then spoke up.

“That’s kind of obvious, Marquis.” Twilight then sarcastically replied.

“You are welcome.”

“That’s not good, Marquis…” Phoebe groaned. “Uh, Fluttershy, there’s nothing wrong! Spike’s only a baby dragon, and his fire can’t even hurt a fly!”

The pegasus herself soon began to peak her head out of the tree, whimpering a little as she looked at Phoebe. “A-are you s-sure?”

“Yes, his fire only affects wood, and even then it mostly just teleports.” Phoebe shrugged. “Honestly, he’s a very nice drake.” It took her a couple of moments, but Fluttershy was able to regain her confidence and emerge from behind the tree as she looked back at Phoebe and the others.

“O-okay… I-if you say so…” She replied, causing Phoebe to sigh in relief as she looked back at Twilight and Spike.

“So… You paying, Twi?” The human suddenly asked, which in turn caused the unicorn to fall directly flat on her face.

An hour later, they arrived at the library, Phoebe chuckled at the view.

“Hey… Hey Twilight, remember when we used to want a treehouse…?” Phoebe asked, a smirk creeping onto her face.

“Yeah, why’s tha-. Oh dear Celestia, my dreams have come true…”

“A treehouse library… Hell yeah…” Phoebe said, squealing. Marquis himself sighed at the two of them as they soon approached the door. Then, when the doors opened, Phoebe went deaf for three seconds.

“SURPRISE!!!” A crowd of ponies screamed, causing the human to fall onto her back.

“GAH!! Hobo’s everywhere!!!” Marquis shouted, having Hoodini come out of his hat. “You have trained your entire short life for this moment. Now FLY-!!”

“NO!!” Twilight shouted, causing Marquis… and Hoodini for that matter to look at her with a quizzical stare. “Marquis, they just surprised us. They’re not going to attack us.”

“Then why am I seeing an error message everytime I look at the Pink hobo?” He then asked.

“Don’t question it!” A rainbow maned Pegasus said loudly from inside. “Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie.” Which lead to Phoebe looking back at the pegasus as she raised an eyebrow, curious and a bit confused as to who exactly was this mare.

“Crazy stuff happen around that one.” The Pegasus elaborated.

“I… don’t think we’ve met,” Phoebe then spoke up. “Who are you again?”

“Rainbow Dash, the one and only fastest flyer in Equestria!” The mare proclaimed. “What are you supposed to be?”

Phoebe’s eyes narrowed. “I’m the world’s greatest mind!”

“And the most fabulous engineer in all of Canterlot!” She heard a familiar voice spoke up as she turned around to find Rarity trotting over to where they were. “It’s good to see you again, Phoebe.”

“Same… How’d you guys even get in here?” Phoebe asked.

The pink one shouted, “I have my ways!” ‘So she broke in…’ Phoebe thought.

“Okay… I’mma have a drink…” Phoebe walked over, only for Twilight to be racing past her in a hurry as Spike picked up what she was trying to drink… or as the label said.

“Hot sauce?”

The engineer winced at that. “I think I’ll pass…”


“Hey Twilight! Come on out, the party’s great!” Phoebe said, slightly tipsy with the top of a lamp on her head. Only to find Twilight trying to block out the noise of everything going on around her with a pillow over her head. Groaning in dismay as well.

“Just… leave me alone…” She grumbled, glaring at Phoebe. “I hate this place…”

“Hey, could be worse. We could’ve ended up skydiving into a desert…” Phoebe giggled. “C’mon, you’re supposed to be the one keeping me and Spike from drinking the spiked punch!”

“Phoebe… I can’t stand this place… Everyone here is SO BUCKING CRAZY!!! I just need some time alone.” Twilight told her, using her magic to push Phoebe out of her room before slamming the door. Before she heard Phoebe shout.

I’m CRAZY for you! Haha!

“SHUT UP, PHOEBE!!!” Twilight roared. All the while Marquis was looking at her rather dumbfounded.

“Ms. Phoebe, your blood alcohol level is extremely high… are you alright?” Marquis asked, before saying something on the side. “I knew I should’ve killed those dirty hobo’s when I had the chance!”

“It’s not their fault…” Phoebe grumbled, frowning. “I needed something to help me get my mind off of Twilight’s bad mood… It didn’t work…” She added bitterly, walking through the crowd towards the basement door. Once there, she entered the silent basement and stumbled her way down the steps.

“Ms. Phoebe, do mind the-.” Marquis called out, before he heard her fall down the last few stairs as he finished his sentence. “-steps…”

“I’m fine!” Phoebe shouted, before crawling to a twin bed and climbing onto it.

“Well, do get some rest… The ceremony does start though in a few hours, so please don’t sleep for too long…”

Phoebe sighed as she glared at the wall in front of her. She picked up something she had in case something like this happened- being drunk. It was an injector, with a serum she invented with the help of a magic student. She placed it to her neck, and injected it into her bloodstream. This stuff wasn’t cheap to make, though.

“God Twilight’s such a b*tch…” Phoebe groaned as she laid down and closed her eyes. She then awoke to someone shaking her.

“Phoebe? Phoebe, are you awake?”

“Yeah… Water...?” She asked.

“Phoebe, it’s Twilight… Look, I’m really sorry for what happened but I need you to wake up. We’re going to be late for the ceremony!” She heard Twilight panicking a bit, causing Phoebe to jolt straight up on her bed.

“F*ck!” She swore. “How long until it starts!?” She asked, trying to straighten out her hair.

“Uhh…… F-five minutes…” Twilight spoke, embarrassed a bit. “Marquis’ already there but-.”

“Damnit! F*ck! F*ck!” Phoebe screamed, running up the stairs and tripping halfway.

“... You have a problem when it comes to cursing-.”

“No time for speaking, I’m still detoxing!” Phoebe shouted, finishing her trek up the stairs and she ran over to the door where her boots laid and scrambled to get them on. However, the sound of Fluttershy’s birds and the music in the background did little to calm her down right now. Once Phoebe was ready, she burst out of the door and practically flew to the ceremony, teleporting whenever she could.

Yet… it was when they stepped through the door that they realized that things… weren’t going so well. “She’s GONE!!!”

Both Twilight and Phoebe looked at each other the moment they heard Rarity nearby cry out in panic as an eerie looking black smoke began to fill the room and the candles that were around the area immediately went out.

Phoebe asked Twilight, “Uh… Is mom playing a prank or something…?” It was then that she realized that Twilight herself was shivering in place, almost panicking a little and stuttering at the mouth.

“N-n-nightmare… M-moon…”

The black smoke soon began to change color into the form of what resembled the night sky as a pitch black alicorn now stood above the ponies. “You thought you were going to see your precious sun princess, but it is I!!! NIGHT-!!”

*BANG!!*

“HOBO!!!” Marquis shouted, firing Bindlebane at the figure as she growled.

“Stop that-!” BANG!!I SAID STOP, YOU MISERABLE-!!BANG BANG!!!

“Marquis! Let her monologue! She might know what happened to mom!” Phoebe shouted at her butler.

“Isn’t it obvious!?” Marquis replied.

WITH YOUR SUN PRINCESS GONE, IT SHALL BE ETERNAL NIGHT FOREVER-!!

“Marquis, continue.” Phoebe said dryly. BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!

“This is fun, Ms. Phoebe.”

WHY YOU MISERABLE HEATHENS!!! IN RETALIATION FOR THIS, I WILL MAKE YOUR PATHETIC PRINCESS HURT FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU JUST DID-!!

“DON’T YOU DARE HARM MY MOTHER!!!” Phoebe screamed, sending all five of her Virtues towards the mare. Having one of them go through her mane, while the rest missed, causing the pony to glare back at her.

“...... Did you just throw a sword through MY F*CKING MANE!!?!” Nightmare Moon growled, before realizing something. “Oh… so ‘Tia is raising a monkey as her daughter… How adorable…

“I’m not a monkey! And I have a far superior intellect than you!” Phoebe hissed. “Free my mother at once and I may spare you!”

“Yeah! Let go of our Princess!” Rainbow Dash shouted, rushing towards the mare. Only for the shadowy alicorn to grin as she turned into a wisp the moment the pegasus got close, causing Rainbow to crash into a wall while Nightmare made her escape.

Phoebe glowered at the mist, shaking in rage and fear. Not just any fear though…

Fear for her mother.

Author's Note:

Comedy chapter with a little bit of character development. Next chapter, sh*t gets real.

Also, what kind of romance do you guys want? I'm not sure who to ship. Plz vote.