• Published 3rd Nov 2016
  • 6,985 Views, 87 Comments

Coco Beware - shortskirtsandexplosions



Do you remember that one time when you and your fashion understudy got drunk and made love? Rarity doesn't.

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Moonshadow, Moonshadow

Thumping.

Scampering.

Clamoring hooves and panting breaths.

Rarity stumbled across her upstairs bedroom in a cold sweat. She jerked, her rear left hoof getting ensnared in a silken sheet that was peeling halfway off her bed. With a toss of her frazzled mane, the mare writhed and broke free of the tangled restraint. Her lungs squeaked through the final lunge, and at last she reached her vanity. With clumsy telekinesis, she rattled a drawer open and uncapped a bottle of pain tablets. She tossed two pills against her swollen tongue and took a liberal drink of water.

Ironically, it was then that the rush of blood through her body reacquainted her with a persistent, throbbing pain in her skull. She leaned against the vanity, inhaling and exhaling firmly as she waited for the pain depressants to kick into gear. They didn't.

She clenched her eyes shut, reeling through the sparkling stars. Her body teetered. The world spun all around.

Then—at last—she reluctantly tilted her head in the direction of her bed...

...and opened her lids.

The morning light bleeding through the windows blinded her at first. Then—one by one—rows upon rows of tiny containers materialized. Rarity saw bottles... bottles and more bottles... completely devoid of the alcoholic contents for which they had been so cautiously labeled. They led in a chaotic trail towards the edge of the bed... a bed where every blanket and duvet and sheet had been thoroughly tossed, twirled, and dampened over countless frothing hours ago.

And lying in the bed—silent, serene, and most definitely alive—was a peach-coated figure... fuzzy and still, save for the slow and tell-tale motions of slumbering lungs. As Rarity's bloodshot eyes came into focus, she made out a short silver-and-blue mane... and her peripheral vision caught a rosy hair corsage that rested on a bedside table several kilometers away.

The fashionista gulped.

Her foggy vision fell once more to the floor, blurring with each titanic pulse thundering through her veins. She spotted a pink collar lying discarded on the floor... and a loose red ribbon crumpled up a few meters away. Beside the closet, there was a pair of fake eyelashes scattered and curled up like cockroaches. Next, she saw a pair of saddlebags, their cosmetic contents spilled in a daring splash aimed towards the bathroom.

Swallowing yet another lump down her throat, Rarity limped over the empty wine bottles and—against her better judgment—approached the dreaded doorframe to the bathroom. She heard a slight hissing sound. Switching on a light, she realized that the shower faucet hadn't been turned off completely. It trickled loosely into a shower drain where Rarity spotted two half-empty bottles of fragrant ointment rolled against one another. The counters, toilet-seat, and medicine cabinet tray were all adorned with scented candles—all of which had been melted straight to the base. And then... lying crumpled on the floor, still damp with moisture and oils... was a pleated cheerleader skirt, an inside-out blouse, and two brightly-colored pom-poms.

Rarity leaned against the doorframe to avoid fainting. Sweat collected on her brow, despite it being a cool and crisp morning. With renewed shivers, she raised a dainty fetlock to her forehead to dab the perspiration away. She heard a slight rattling sound, and that's when she first realized that one half of a fuzzy pink hoofcuff was dangling off her hoof.

“Waa-haa-HAA—haaaa!” The unicorn finally screamed, flailing backwards like a living white windsock.

Fatefully, that did it. After the upper foundation of Carousel Boutique finished shaking from the terrified exclamation, Rarity heard a gentle stirring sound from deep inside her bedroom... followed by a high-pitched, breathy, squeaky yawn.

Rarity clenched her teeth. She leaned left and right, fidgeting. Her eyes darted towards the toilet... wondering if the plumbing was wide enough for her to flush herself down into the depths of septic oblivion.

But then the stirring increased from the bedroom... followed by yet another yawn... sweet and melodic.

Sucking her breath in, Rarity rushed back into her domain. She approached the bed... and the undeniably waking figure stirring beneath the tangled covers. Scuffling to a stop at bedside, she squirmed and flapped her forelimbs as if they were on fire. At last—following a nervous gulp—she leaned forward with one hoof outstretched. The dangling pink hoofcuff caught the glinting dawnlight. “Eeep!” She hid the offensive article behind her flank and reached her other limb out instead. Gently—with platonic motions—she shook the waking pony's shoulder. “Uhm... Coco... darling?” She clenched her teeth hard beneath a twitching smile. “Rise and shine... my sweet, well-mannered, totally professional business partner.”

“Mmmmmm...” Coco smiled. “Mmmmmmmm...” She smiled some more. Her cheeks turned rosy at the slightest touch of Rarity's white hoof. At last, her teal blue eyes opened, happy and glistening... soon to be happier. As soon as they reflected the frazzled fashionista looming over her, the petite earth pony hugged a crumpled pillow tightly to her velvety peach chest... beaming in the warm rays of the day. “Hiiiiiiii...”

Rarity's head throbbed. She stood upright against a tsunami of nausea. “Hello yourself, dearest.” She swallowed a desert down her esophagus. “Had a good night's sl-sleep, I trust?”

“Mmmmmmmm—you know I did,” Coco purred, hugging the pillow tighter. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

“Oh... uhm... a thousand th-thanks!” Rarity fluffed her tattered bee's nest of a morning mane. “I... ahem... most certainly try to.”

“Mmmmmmhmmmmmm...” Coco rolled over in bed. Her head swiveled, eyes locked like velvet hooks to Rarity's brow and anchoring her delirious smile in place. “You most certainly have a lot to teach me, Mistress Moonshadow.”

Rarity's heart imploded with a million razor-barbed icicles. She shattered it with a flighty laugh. “Hah hah hah! Hah hah... ohhhhhhh Coco, darling, you say some of the silliest th-things!”

“Well, it wasn't so 'silly' last night, was it? A good pet wouldn't want to be disrespectful...” Coco cooed, winking the entire time. “...unless of course... that pet wants to be punished.” A pink tongue stuck out between them, followed by a giggle and another pillow hug.

“Erm... yes. 'Good pet.' How d-delightfully worded.” Rarity's muzzle scrunched. “We are talking about Opalescence, aren't we—”

Just then, Coco stretched, tilting her neck back. In so doing, Rarity saw a black velvet collar wrapped tightly around the pony's slender neck like a choker.

“—ee—ee—eeeee—hokaaay!” Rarity wrenched her eyes away, facing the window curtains and flexing her lungs. “A-fuuu... a-fuuuuuu...”

“Mmmm?” Coco rubbed one eye. “Mistress Moonshadow?” Then the other, followed by a worried trilling sound as she sat up amidst the tangled covers. “Rarity? Is everything okay?”

“Huh? What? Oh! Most definitely, Miss Pommel!” Rarity teetered back to face her with a fractured grin. “Couldn't be more smashing!”

Coco blinked. Then she giggle-snorted, covering her adorable face with a tender hoof. “Heehee... 'Miss Pommel.' The last time you called me that was on the way back from the party in the stagecoach.”

Yes!” Rarity boomed. “Indeed!” She boomed again. “The party!” Her eyes fell to the bottles lying around the bedroom floor. “We... made a lot of stops along the way home!” Her eyes twitched in Coco's direction as she smiled. “... ... ...didn't we?!”

“Hmmm-hmmm-hmmm...” Coco tossed her mane and leaned back at a slinky forty-five degrees, presenting her shiny chest fluff to the golden dawn. Thin eyes sliced their way heatedly towards Rarity. “We certainly nearly rocked the stagecoach off its wheels.” She giggled with foalish little squeaks. “There's one driver who will never escort us home from Twilight's Castle again!”

“It's just that...” Rarity rambled on, stroking her own bangs with her good hoof. “...I rarely ever show my face in liquor establishments. So... erm... m-my apologies if I forced you to get out your bit-bag.” She choked on something, then threw nervous puppy dog eyes at the smaller mare while the next few words squeaked out: “You... are old enough t-to buy alcohol... y-yes?”

“Snkkkt... hah hah hah hah!” Coco Pommel laughed wheezingly.

Rarity tittered. “Heheheheh...”

“Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“Hah hah hah hah!”

“Heeheehee!”

“Hahahahaha—mrmmmmmmmmfff!” Rarity's eyes crossed—for a soft pair of lips was now ensnaring her own.

Coco had thrown herself off the edge of the bed, squeezing Rarity's upper body in a velvety hug as she attacked the fashionista's muzzle in full-force. After a century of saliva, the gesture ended—but not the passion. Coco draped against Rarity's palpitating chest, her voice vibrating straight through the older mare's spine. “Heeeeeeee... I can fool a lot of ponies, but there's no fooling you, Mistress.” She gazed up with a coy smile, grinning just above the collar. “Of course... that didn't stop you from sharing that adorable little cheerleader outfit that you stitched together last summer.”

“Uhm...”

“I sure hope Sweetie Belle doesn't mind growing into something else—”

“Coco, darling, I...” Rarity grimaced, staring at all of the bottles and melted candles. “I...”

“Huh?” Coco looked up. The tiniest flicker of concern registered in the younger mare's eyes. “Rarity?”

Rarity glanced towards the distant bathroom where the shower faucet was still running. The tile floor was cold... sterile... like their relationship should have been. Geometric and pristine and respectful of the gargantuan age gap between them. There were so many winding roads trickling downhill from this moment, and all of them fraught with avalanches.

“I-I... I think...”

Coco gazed up at her. The young adult's lips trembled with sudden confusion. “Is something wrong?”

Only now did Rarity realize how disheveled the earth pony's mane had gotten. Without knowing it, she had levitated a brush over and was running it through the young mare's threads—straightening out the bangs and setting a satin framework around those imploring eyes and rosy cheeks and...

...and before long, Rarity was staring, cuddling, inhaling the incidental understudy who had squeakily hatched from the forest of her bedsheets. And somewhere between the tender breaths and the dew-glossed stare suspending that sacred moment, she felt the wild fringes of a scented evening filled with gasps, tears, and smiles. It was only a fable, of course, but it was a good one, and the moment Rarity found herself dusting the bookends off—one brushstroke at a time—she felt the tepid nausea being swiftly outwashed by waves of fuzz, butterflies, and more fuzz.

“... ... ...I just remembered something,” Rarity dripped.

Coco blinked. “Oh?” She blinked again, tilting the fuzziness aside. “What's that?”

Rarity tilted with her, and she relished the spiral with a soft, ladylike grin. “I'm famished.” She brushed the soft underside of Coco's chin. “I bet you are simply aching for a fine breakfast!”

The tips of Coco's ears fluttered, and she beamed within Rarity's embrace. “That sounds absolutely delightful!”

“Wait right here, darling.” Rarity laid Coco back before patting her chest and trotting off with a newly-discovered flounce. “I shall go and procure something scrumptious! I am in the mood for fruit! How about you?”

“Mmmmmm...” Coco stretched once more, purring towards the ceiling. “I'm afraid we used up all the strawberries last night, Mistress.”

“Yes...” Rarity gulped for one last time before descending the stairs. “...but of course.”

Author's Note:

These aren't your daddy's oneshots

Comments ( 84 )

skirts wat

I love you but wat

7693503

Ah. There's the word I'm looking for.

I second that.

~Skeeter The Lurker

:trollestia: skirts. You writing while hungry, again?

.....Wat

I'm sorry, but wat

7693503 7693507
I third that

bless you

7693513 fourthed. (Heh)

That was certainly a bit of a departure from the norm. Quite funny, too, at times.

full version when?

EDIT: You managed to get 14 likes with no views! Congratulations!

The author's note killed me.

Ships for the Ship God! :flutterrage:

a century of saliva

...pls :rainbowderp:

Hmm, nothing better than Coco with marshmallows.

Did you really have to emphasize the age gap? I hadn't even suspected it was more than a year or two before, but now you've gone and made it weird and unsettling. It's cute otherwise, but still.

Emtu #12 · Nov 3rd, 2016 · · ·

and her peripheral vision caught a rosy hair corsage that rested on a bedside table several kilometers away.

Holy crap, Rarity can see a corsage several kilometers away? That''s some damn good eyesight.

Even though part of the song pops into my head every now and again, it's been a long time since I've actually listened to "Moonshadow". So… congrats or something?

I don't headcanon Rarity and Coco's ages to be that far apart, but whatever. I can dig it.

Love fic. Good ship. Much wat.

7693642 I actually kind of like the age gap. In reality, such things can come off as "creepy", and should probably be avoided "just in case". Love is, after all, just a series of strange chemical reactions existing as a byproduct of evolution, existing simply because bonded animals have a better chance of survival than singular. Such reactions SHOULD be ignored if disadvantageous, and a new bond with a more suitable partner can be formed. That is the REALITY of the situation.......but this is fantasy, a whole different beast! A dash of "forbidden love" can add a bit of spice to just about any story if done well, and a simple age gap is just the right amount of "taboo" to make things a bit more interesting. ( ; A lot of authors are wary of tackling it because it's hard to do well, but I think it fits in this case. Would have preferred a longer story to tackle it in more detail, but it is probably easier for those who dislike that sort of thing to swallow in this bite-sized dose. :P

.........sorry, I tend to ramble when I start typing. ^_^; Also, you are more than free to disagree with my viewpoints on love and emotion.......I tend to tackle those from a biological angle cause I find it simpler, but it is, of course, just my own point of view.

7693541 Thoroughly fifthed.

She's got some 'splaining to do!!!!

This shouldn't happen in the show.

Because it's a kids show.

And this doesn't belong in a kids show.

But this should happen in the show.

Screw the damn kids.

>Do you remember that one time when you and your fashion understudy got drunk and made love?

Yes I do, and let me tell ya, it wasn't pretty.

There was coffee and important documents EVERYWHERE.

I wonder how many people will get the wrestling reference.

hugging the billow tighter.

What happened to that pillow?!

“That sounds absolutely delightfu!.”

you lost and l for and ! and the ! was replaced with a ..

That must have been one hell of a bender. And Raritys hiding some kinky tendencies there.

That went better than expected.

Wow, this was a great story! What an awkward situation Rarity has gotten herself into. Will there be a sequel?

Nooo! Write another chapter please! I want to see how this plays out.

But on a more serious note, very well written. With every story you put out I become more and more grateful that I followed you.

What a writer indeed!:raritywink:

This was just so sweet and awkward and oh so much like Rarity! Good job, Skirts!

Hey Rares will you cheer for me?:rainbowdetermined2:
Yeah Rarity, shake your Pom poms!:ajsmug:
Bwa hahaha!:rainbowlaugh:
:pinkiesad2:
Rarity I had no idea you were into such scandalous activities.:trollestia:
COCO!:raritydespair:

7693718
7693642
This doesn't technically have to be forbidden (accept for maybe employer/employee romance which is frowned upon), or illegal love as Coco is only said to not be old enough to drink. Not sure how Equestria works, but if it's like America, the drinking age is higher than the age of consent, so Coco could be, like, eighteen to Rarity's late twenties or early thirties. Weird, but not against the law. Well, Coco drinking and buying booze was illegal, but not the sex, anyway. Rarity better be careful about not letting people know alcohol was involved or else she might spend some time in the dungeons.
I'm personally accepting of maximum age gaps of ten years before things start to get creepy as long as the older individual in the relationship did not know the other when they were absurdly young, Like, if you babysat somebody when they were eight and you were eighteen, and you start dating them ten years later, that's freaky. Having sex with someone who you once bounced on your knee as a toddler is just wrong.

This was weirda and a complete mess, and I fucking loved it.

You bastard, take my like and my follow. I might as well have a front row seat.

Hap

“...unless of course... that pet wants to be punished.”

Oh, my. Coco is a Brat?

This was... uh, not what I expected.

a bedside table several kilometers away

Woah. They must have been really rowdy last night. :rainbowderp:

7693642

Fan, age of consent here in my state is 16 (with parental permission). Drinking age is 21.

Let that sink in for a moment.

7694324

Most people don't realize why they find that 10+ year age gap freaky, especially if the two knew each other from one's younger years. It's not because of the age itself, but the left-unsaid implication that MAYBE the older one had been less than moralistic in their platonic relationship with the younger one, perhaps 'training' them to become a romantic interest.

Which, when that's fully dispelled it actually seems less of an issue*, pending personal preferences. (*Per my findings and experiences.)

I have this habit of reading stories without knowing who wrote them until i have finished reading it. Don't ask me how I pull it off, I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

But when I reached the end there was only one person who could have written such a fantastic little one-shot.

Damn it Skirts you've done it again.

7694613
That training bit is why I've never been a fan of Celestia/Twilight. Celestia took Twilight under her wing when she was just a little filly and practically raised her according to most headcanons, so the idea of Celestia then sleeping with said filly once she's a mare strikes me as inappropriate.
One writer straight up implied the training stuff but didn't understand why it was weird when he wrote that Celestia manipulated events to ensure Twilight would ascend so that Twilight could become immortal and be her lover for all eternity so that Celestia wouldn't have to worry about outliving her. That there was just sick to me.

Wow! They certainly used a lot of props, didn't they? :rainbowderp:

Congrats! Hope they stay together for many moons! :twilightblush:

7694416
*Scene shifts to Hatter sitting at his computer desk, his bedside table falls over for no apparent reason*
"D:yay:n shippers always making inter-dimensional shifts! Last time I got stabbed by Fluttershy."
*Hatter continues to ramble unaware of the Shy pony sneaking up behind him with a kitchen knife*

7693524
She DOES live with their parents most of the time. I'm sure she wasn't home. Poor Opal though...and the neighbors...the poor, poor neighbors...

I saw the name of the story and immediately put cat Stevens on only to find that Moon Shadow was in the author comments lol

7694693
Or the story where Twilight was mind raped by Nightmare Moon into falling in love with Luna, and then after Nightmare's defeat, the affects remain and Luna and Twilight stay together even though Twilight isn't into mares, and everyone within the story and it's readers were okay with that. Luna and Celestia are just creepers.

This was really good. But it was too short. I want more. I was left wanting. For more of what happened the night before. Damn you! Don't make me write a prequel! Lol :P

So much confusion after one wakes up not remembering anything. Good times.
At least Rarity didn't wake up to the cliched old marriage :rainbowlaugh:

7694693

Meanwhile I don't see that as particularly creepy because I understand. It's that nagging feeling at the back of the head that creates that 'creep out' vibe, the concern that something was wrong. But if you stop and look at it, in most cases Celestia just helped Twilight fulfill her destiny. She cared for her growing up, perhaps with some romantic attachment around the teenage years (whatever they may be for sentient equines), and then either let things happen after she grew into a mare, or pursued her once she was legal.

The problem we have with this sort of thing is that 'the older person can manipulate the less wise and less intelligent younger person - with some sort of sick or nefarious end in mind', but if that's not the case, then isn't the entire feeling behind that wrong? A lot of people stop questioning it past 'Ew creep' and will violently defend an illogical rejection they don't actually understand the reason behind.

Plus the immortal factor. Honestly, as an elder immortal, if you don't pick up adult mortals or adult immortals still within the confines of their mortal lifespan, who are you going to turn to for romantic inclination? Let's be fair, Granny Smith, who might very well be at least three hundred years old, is essentially a toddler to Celestia by comparison. If we shipped them, it'd be almost no different than a child and an adult, because one lacks the years, experiences, and knowledge of the other - all the things people consider 'wrong' with the original Twi/Celestia scenario. What's that leave her with? Aside from Discolestia being disgusting in ways I don't want to think about due to my personal preferences, the current walking-free immortal list as we know it is Discord - former hated enemy, now effective tool... and Luna, her sister. While I might personally be down for Princest, that's also an immortal-perception issue that we mortals can only guess at. Even the wisest fifty-eighty year old among us will never understand the same feelings and viewpoints of someone who's a thousand or several more older than they.

Guiding Twilight to becoming an immortal alicorn is something she'd have done even if she wasn't romantically interested in Twilight. If she happens to fall romantically for her after the fact, we just need to think objectively rather than moving to our gut instinct and concern, which is based on fear of corruption and skeevy manipulation in a situation we know (as the audience) neither exists.

In which case Twilestia or even Twidance for the alt-shippers out there are both completely acceptable.

I love Rarity's warm and fuzzy epiphany. For a moment I thought this was go to be a sad story but everything came together perfectly.

Nice job :ajsmug:

7694672 wait this is a SSE fic?....oh cool it is..

My God do I love that title.

aww I hoped for something longer.

Well sadly I'm going to leave it untouched this time, if there is going to be a longer sequel or something like that, then I'm still interested.

This made me chuckle more than normal, mainly because Moonshadow was an old online nickname of mine.

I've decided I love this based solely on the title.

Raritop and Cocobottom.

Yes, that will do nicely.

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