Spoiled Rich Has A Meeting About What?!
Chapter 3
Scribe jumped when the door to his locker slammed suddenly. Diamond Tiara stood before him; the same yellow jacket on, the same little tiara on her head. He had been wondering why she still wore the childish thing - it didn’t contain any real diamonds, after all - but he was more concerned with the bloodshot glare being aimed at him.
“Uh… g-good morning, Diamond. How are you feeling?” he asked with a nervous smile.
“Scribe!” Diamond noticed a few stares from some of the other students at her outburst. “I want an update.”
Scribe flinched briefly. “Er, nothing to report. I got a new outfit at the mall yesterday, so I wouldn’t be recognized and some friends will help me blend in more-”
“Can we trust these friends?” Diamond interrupted.
“I trust Lemon. We grew up together.”
Diamond’s gaze narrowed. “How come I’ve never met them?”
Scribe rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “You kinda did. She was here for the Friendship Games.”
Diamond’s expression grew thoughtful. “A Crystal Prep student? Good, I can trust them at least.”
“R-Right.” Scribe eyed the school clock briefly and turned to grab his backpack from the floor. “We’d better get to class.”
“Did you talk to Silver Spoon at all this past week?” Diamond suddenly asked, a dangerous gleam in her eyes.
Scribe shook his head. “I’ve only seen Snips and Snails, remember.”
“Good. I don’t want you talking to her.”
“What?” Scribe blinked in surprise at the command. “Why not?”
“That’s none of your business!” Diamond snapped at him in irritation. Reaching up, she ran her hand down the front of his shirt. “Scribey, my big, strong, masculine, spy. It’s just better if you don’t speak to her right now, you trust me don’t you?” she asked with an attempt at a seductive smile.
With her eyes tinged red from lack of a good night’s rest, and her clothes slightly ruffled from being hastily thrown on, it wasn’t a good look. “I need you to avoid Silver Spoon, that’s all; she could blow your cover.”
“Like you could by talking to me in the hallways?” Scribe pointed out.
Diamond grabbed Scribe by the shirt and pulled his face down to her level. “Do not test me right now!”
“Students! You will be late for class,” Vice Principal Luna interjected as she appeared without warning.
Diamond let go of Scribe instantly and turned to offer an apologetic smile. “We were just going.” So saying she turned and stomped off.
Scribe flinched briefly. “Er, right. Bye, Vice Principal Luna.” He started to turn, but Luna placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Scarlet Scribe, I will be speaking to you later today about the story you submitted recently for the school paper.” Luna was frowning now and her expression seemed more concerned than normal.
“The student paper is free to publish what they deem appropriate and with adequate proof from reliable sources. However, as I am in charge of ensuring the facts are kept accurate I must insist we re-write the story concerning the Cafeteria.”
Scribe nodded rapidly, his head almost resembling one of those bobble-headed dolls everyone seemed to like so much. “Of course, Vice Principal Luna!” he said with a nervous chuckle. “I’ll be at your office during free period.”
“Good, now don’t be late to class.” After offering a brief smile of encouragement, Vice Principal Luna turned and left.
Scribe sighed to himself as he shouldered his backpack. “And today started out so well, too.”
Sonata paced back and forth in her bedroom. Despite what some of the students at CHS probably thought, it wasn’t a mess of taco wrappers and dirty clothes. It also wasn’t full of stupid girly junk. Sonata might have appeared to be a ditz, but in all honesty she just preferred not having to deal with all of the drama being in a band tended to create.
Her bedroom was completely devoid of any sort of clutter. One corner held a few cherished mementos of the distant past. The other was where she kept her impressive collection of musical instruments. Singing was a way of life for a siren. A siren who couldn’t perform was soon shunned and ostracised. Even if they were no bigger than a filly.
If Sonata was honest with any of the people she’d talked to in this world, they’d probably be extremely jealous. Sirens were immortal, beautiful sea creatures that fed off of negative emotions. A rare few contented themselves on other emotions; hope, joy, those types of things. Unlike Changelings, however, Sirens typically didn’t stray far from the feeding habits of the family pods they lived in.
Sonata fiddled with the hem of her skirt and stopped thinking about the cool waters of Equestria. It was in the distant past, in a time that she could barely recall. Adagio was scheming. It was almost never a good thing when Adagio started scheming. Aria always said so and she ought to know. They’d failed enough times because of Adagio’s short-sightedness. According to Aria.
If either of them found out that she’d actually been back to CHS, that she’d gone to the party when Pinkie invited her and that she’d… had… fun. Well, the sirens had a name for people like her, ugly and hurtful. Traitor.
A traitor was the worst thing you could become. Sonata recalled the only siren to ever have been banished from every pod in the sea. That siren had her name stricken from recorded history. Not that sirens had much use for written words; their history was told in song. It pained her terribly that she could not express those words once more.
The Traitor fell in love with a pony. She actually fell in love with one. She refused to incite anger or rage, or even to attempt feasting upon the lesser emotions that some pods preferred. Sonata hugged herself tightly, unable to stop thinking about the consequences of being a traitor, now that she had gone off and done her own thing without the permission of her only remaining family.
She couldn’t understand why she liked the pink girl so much. One day, when she had really wanted a taco and had slipped off to the mall by herself to get one, she had bumped into the pink girl. Her name was Pinkie Pie, she had three sisters, loved to throw parties, made wonderfully delicious food and had given Sonata an entire tray of tacos. And she had paid for them herself!
Money wasn’t a foreign concept to the sirens. Each of them had their own personal account, which had been made to pass on to themselves when the age gap between themselves and the people they knew grew too great. Ever since coming to Canterlot, though, she noticed that ageing seemed to be different here, probably because of how close it was to the source of Equestrian magic.
Shaking off the nonsensical and unhelpful thought, Sonata resumed her pacing. Pinkie Pie had agreed to meet up with her every other week. So they had started to hang out together. Pinkie would talk and talk and Sonata just ate her tacos. It was the only time she ever got any. Adagio and Aria preferred healthier diets.
Sonata rolled her eyes at the thought of that. Tacos had meat, vegetables and dairy all wrapped up in a nice corn-made tortilla shell. How was that not healthy? Ok so maybe Tacos weren’t a good breakfast food, she’d tried that once and had had an upset stomach for the rest of the day.
Her thoughts rambling off again into a spiral of potential madness, Sonata sighed and finally flopped onto the chair beside her desk. Picking up one of the numerous guitars in the room she started to strum absently.
The song was nothing in particular; it might have been called a sonata at some point. Sonata smirked at the thought of that, but it was a short lived bout of happiness. Adagio had a plan. Adagio always had a plan and when she had a plan it was their job to go along with it.
Picking up the tempo as she played, Sonata wanted desperately to sing again. It had once been an easy enough thing to do to express her frustration, but impossible now that she had been stripped of her jewel.
Sonata finished playing and opened her eyes. A glance at her reflection in a nearby mirror showed her makeup ruined and tears streaming down her face. Glaring at herself, she made up her mind right then and there. To paraphrase one of her all-time favorite flicks from the past few decades: Adagio must be stopped. No matter the cost.
Removing the secret picture she kept in her wallet she smiled at the image of herself and Pinkie doing goofy things. Pinkie was fun; Pinkie was a better sister than Adagio ever had been. Sonata rose determined to her feet.
“I Pinkie Promise your Club won’t be destroyed and exposed, Pinkie Pie. Cross my Fins and Live to Dive. Stick a taco in my thigh…Wait, was that how that went? Why am I signing to my own reflection?” Sonata’s face flushed with embarrassment and she quickly left to fix her makeup.
Lemon Zest sat down at the usual lunch table gathering spot of the Shadowbolts. Technically they weren’t Shadowbolts unless it was a Friendship Games event, but Lemon preferred to think of themselves as Shadowbolts year round. She was also listening to a radical set and bobbing her head so vigorously her hair was swaying over her eyes.
Sunny Flare dipped a carrot into the vegetable dip on her tray and nibbled at it slowly, a smirk on her lips as she watched her friend. Sugarcoat was reading, a typical sight for the teen, and barely paying attention. Sour Sweet rolled her eyes but said nothing, as she was trying to keep her outbursts to a bare minimum while in school so Cinch wouldn’t have an excuse to stick her in detention.
This left Indigo Zap the first one to address the group. “So, what’s the plan for Friday night?” she wondered.
“I believe the plan, dearie, was to have Scarlet Scribe, Lemon Zest and this Zecora girl slip discreetly into the party.”
Indigo let out a sigh. “Yeah, I know, but does anyone here really think Lemon can do anything discreet?”
Sour Sweet shook her head still chewing on her food.
“Lemon Zest is the least likely to be recognized.” Sugarcoat glanced briefly from behind her book at each of her friends. “She’s energetic enough to pass for a student from CHS. On top of that, she interacted the least with Twilight or any of her friends during the events at Canterlot High.”
“She did?” Sour Sweet blinked in confusion. Glancing briefly at Lemon she tried to think back to the Friendship Games.
“Huh… Baking, Woodworking, Spelling Bee, Mathematical Equation Dealie, Really messed up Triathlon, Midnight Sparkle tearing open tons of dimensional portals… you know, while Lemon was with us in the events I don’t think she said much to anybody once, plus she was totally wearing her headphones the entire time. Maybe that’s why we choked!” Sour slammed her fist on the table in frustration.
“They should still recognize her, I mean look at her!” Indigo pointed at her friend while she continued to sway to the beat only she could hear.
“We barely interacted with the Wondercolts once the events were over. We didn’t talk too much before having to leave either, and while Twilight has tried to get both of our groups communicating with one another we have very little in common with those six girls she became friends with.” Sugarcoat ticked off each point with her fingers as she spoke. “They barely know us, and without a uniform on Lemon will blend in just fine.”
Sunny Flare felt the need to remind them that they had given Lemon Twilight’s contact info so she could call her if necessary; the conversation, however, had had the unfortunate side-effect of reminding her painfully about the part she’d played in the Friendship Games.
Aside from also feeling responsible for how Twilight had been treated, she also remembered that retrieving Twilight’s phone number had been less than legal on Sugarcoat’s behalf. She didn’t think voicing that out loud in earshot of potential spies for Principal Cinch was entirely a good idea.
“I still think we should be relying on someone a bit less…” Indigo frowned as she tried to find the right word.
“Flighty?” Sour supplied with a smirk.
“Lemon may be many things, flighty isn’t one of them.” Indigo shook her head. “But when she gets to one of her parties she can really get a little wild. I’m just concerned she might draw too much attention to Scribe.”
“Lemon is the least anti-social amongst us.” Sugarcoat adjusted her glasses. “I speak plainly and straight to the point of the matter. I am able to read people just as well as any book. You are far too competitive and if a certain rainbow-haired girl is there, you’ll be trying to one-up her all night. Sunny is patronizing in her approach to dealing with people.”
“I do not patronize!” Sunny interrupted. “I am perfectly fine with going to a party or ‘hanging out’ as the lower class prefer to call it. I simply don’t have the time to worry about such things because of my career goals.”
“You are patronizing and controlling, Sunny. It’s why you’re mostly in charge of our group. I mean, you take extra care of Sour Sweet, who has an entire world of reasons why she can’t go to blend in.”
“That’s true, if any of those CHS boys looked at me I’d deck them in the face!” Sour declared boldly. “Besides, I don’t do well in large crowds.”
“Which is why we settled on Lemon at the mall to be the one to go with Scribe and help keep an eye on him. She’ll fit in naturally and won’t interfere with his mission.” Sugarcoat completed her explanations and resumed reading from her book.
Indigo sighed. “Yeah. I guess I’m just a little on edge about this entire thing. I mean… Scribe’s been with us for a long time. We lost sight of friendship, true friendship, but he still stood with us and helped us out when we had problems. I don’t like that this Diamond Tiara bitch is trying to control him, you know.” She glanced at each of her friends with an air of concern in her eyes.
“Yeah!” Sour exclaimed, food flying out of her mouth as she’d taken another bite. “That’s our special spy who helps keep an eye on Twilight for us! Only we get to boss him around and stuff.”
“Does that make us bad friends?” Sunny questioned with a slight frown.
Sugarcoat shook her head. “We do not possess the magic of friendship, in fact we don’t possess any kind of magic. We are five semi-adjusted teenagers who have led harsh and intense lives with little interest outside of achieving our ultimate goals in life. This does not make us bad friends.
“We are merely… acquaintances who are slowly opening up to the possibility of true friendship. That is, without the whole shiny rainbow beams, combating threats from some distant connected reality, and magical talking ponies.”
“Magical talking what?” Indigo blurted.
Sunny rolled her eyes. “Did you even read Scribe’s full report on CHS after the Friendship Games?”
“Hell no!” Indigo stated. “That thing was three thousand pages long and had eight different indexes to cite sources!”
“Yes. Actually quite thorough for something written by Scarlet Scribe.” Sugarcoat smiled a very tiny smile of pride at her cousin’s reporting skills.
“Jeeze, Indigo, even I got through it.” Sour smirked at her friend. “Apparently, most of the student body believes there’s this magical portal to a land of talking ponies called Equestria on their school ground.
“Half of them have no idea where it even is, and one of them, someone with an ego bigger than anybody at Crystal Prep since she refers to herself in the third person, is quite jealous of the fact that it might exist at all.”
“Trixie Lulamoon.” Sugarcoat nodded briefly. “An aspiring stage magician. She uses the third person narrative to attract attention for her magic shows. It’s a gimmick.”
“How did Scribe manage to convince the students to spill the beans so he could write a three thousand page report?” Indigo wondered in stunned surprise.
“Like any good scientist, he polled the student body, gathered the facts, observed the evidence and, naturally, recorded experiments.” Sugarcoat once again showed a brief expression of pride at her cousin’s actions.
“Was that in the indexes too?” Indigo asked.
“No. The five hundred page appendix attached in the back.” Sugarcoat returned to her book to finish reading before the lunch bell rang.
“Huh. Are we sure he doesn’t have OCD?” Indigo glanced between the others with a knowing smirk, recalling a time when they were younger and trying to prove everyone they knew had some kind of disorder. Though, she couldn’t recall why.
“You know we only found a mild case of autism,” Sunny reminded. “We didn’t even realize he had a hair fetish until the mall.”
“Yes. He is quite good at keeping that under check,” Sugarcoat agreed.
“Until he saw that Aria chick’s ponytails.” Sour giggled at the reminder and pulled out her cell. “Check this out, I snapped a pic!”
Indigo, Sunny and Sugarcoat moved to observe the image on her phone.
Scribe was practically hovering a few inches off the floor as he stood caressing one of Aria’s long ponytails.
“You little sneak,” Sunny complimented.
“When’d you take this?” Indigo asked. “I thought you left because you didn’t understand sign language?” She shook her head as she realized how dumb that sounded. “Heck, I know you left. I followed you to make sure you didn’t get into trouble with mall security.”
Sour rolled her eyes. “I didn’t leave until after Scribey met the girl’s hair.” Sticking her tongue out at Indigo, she followed up with a mischievous smirk. “Besides, I wasn’t about to let this juicy little thing slip by without recording it for posterity.”
“And don’t forget potential blackmail.” Sugarcoat observed.
“Who, me?” Sour smiled sweetly. “Next social studies project I have to hand in is so going to be aced.”
“You’re going to blackmail Scribe to do your homework for you?”
“Do I look like I can’t cut it here, Indigo!” Sour snapped. “I just want him to type the thing up for me. That report he wrote on us for CHS was a thing of beauty.”
“Ugh, you three are such eggheads.” Indigo’s complaint did little to upset the others.
“If we’re finished socialising and worrying over nothing in regards to this Friday’s planned activities, shall we get to class?” Sugarcoat wondered for the group.
“Sure.” Sunny smiled warmly at the others. “Who said this friend thing was so hard?”
Everyone got up and left the table. Everyone, that is, except for Lemon Zest, who hadn’t finished her meal yet and was still lost to the tunes on her headphones. She was really looking forward to Friday night and the chance to see Vinyl Scratch again, maybe introduce her to Zecora so the two could share notes and stuff about partying. It was going to be a blast. Plus maybe she’d finally get Scribe to relax a little, the dude had some seriously pent-up issues.
The hot pink convertible pulled up to the Rich Estate close to noon. It was a very ugly-looking vehicle with a large yellow and blue butterfly painted on the hood. It belonged to the head of the Board of Regents.
Emerging from the driver’s seat and adjusting his scruffy-looking tweed jacket with the gray patches on his elbows, the elderly gentleman broke into a winning smile. A single canine poked out from behind the lips. Tugging briefly at his long gnarly-looking white beard the gentleman reached in and removed a briefcase from the passenger seat.
Enter Discord. He had a rather odd name, even for a place like Canterlot. However, it was his name and he was quite proud of it. Approaching the front door, he was greeted by the butler.
“Good afternoon, old boy! Ms. Rich is expecting me.” Discord grinned and swept into the foyer without another word.
“Indeed, sir. She is in the drawing room.”
Discord chuckled and headed directly for the room in question. “Milky, ol’ girl, how is my favorite school board leader?”
Filthy flinched as Discord entered the room.
Spoiled quirked her lip slightly, the closest she ever came to expressing genuine emotion. “Mr. Discord, a true pleasure to have you in our humble home.”
“Humble?” Discord smirked, once again revealing his lone tooth. “I would hardly call one of the largest mansions in Canterlot humble, Spoiled.”
“True.” Spoiled chuckled at the comment.
“And Filthy, my good fellow, I can see you’re still as uptight as always!” Discord laughed at his own joke and slapped Filthy across the back.
Filthy grimaced. Discord had a bad habit of popping up unexpectedly; he was rather spry for a seventy-seven year old man. “Charmed, as always.” Rubbing his shoulder to stave off the sting of the slap he glanced over at his wife. “Could we get this over with? I have important matters to deal with back at the office…”
“I imagine it has something to do with Camp Everfree?” Discord wondered.
“Ah—whatever do you mean?” Filthy questioned in surprise.
Discord’s expression changed. It was subtle, but his carefree nature seemed to slip aside revealing a shrewd, cunning individual. “Filthy Rich, if you think Deputy Mayor Scorpan isn’t up on your latest attempts to tear down Camp Everfree in favor of another pointless Rich Enterprises business, you need to start paying your spies better.”
Filthy’s expression darkened. “Deputy Mayor Scorpan should learn to mind his own business. I’m perfectly within my legal rights for my plans on that old and forgotten little summer camp.”
“Yes, yes,” Spoiled interrupted. “We didn’t bring Mr. Discord here to discuss your silly little business arrangements or politics. It’s about Diamond Tiara and Principal Celestia!”
Discord’s expression changed again. Slowly taking a seat, he placed his suitcase in front of him and used it to prop his feet up. His old bones cracked as he stretched back and leaned into the seat causing the younger couple to cringe.
“Forgive my old bones; they have a nasty habit of getting out of sorts these days. Just a sign of the times I suppose.” Discord leaned his head back into his cupped hands and eyed Spoiled closely. “What is the problem at Canterlot High now? Certainly not another magical episode?” Discord grinned mischievously at the off-hand comment.
Filthy rolled his eyes.
Spoiled snorted in disdain. “Magical indeed. No, I am concerned that our daughter, Diamond Tiara, is not receiving the attention she deserves.”
“And you want me to speak to Celestia on your behalf? Is that it?” Discord frowned briefly.
“I am perfectly capable of bringing this concern to her attention myself. I merely wish to have your blessing. That is, in case anything serious should need to be brought to the attention of the school board,” Spoiled informed coolly.
Discord tapped the armrest of his seat briefly and stroked his beard. “I don’t know. I am rather fond of ‘Tia and Lulu. I knew their parents quite well, after all. They’re certainly more than qualified to handle any issues that might crop up at CHS.
“That is precisely why I’ve been hands off ever since that first incident at the Fall Formal that you so thoughtfully brought to my attention.”
Discord blinked once, his large expressive yellow eyes shining with hidden mirth. “How did you get that picture of Miss Shimmer?”
Spoiled blanched slightly. “That’s not important at the moment! And I certainly don’t think we need to drag that into this. The incident has long since been resolved.”
“Good to hear!” Discord clapped his hands eagerly and leaned forward. “So, you want to bring some parental concern for your precious little brat?”
“Diamond Tiara is not a brat!” Spoiled declared vehemently.
Filthy flinched at the level of denial in his wife’s voice.
Discord laughed. “Forgive an old man’s poor choice of words. Still, she does have a habit of getting into trouble. Did I not hear something about a complaint as to her handling of the newspaper recently?”
“I beg your pardon?” Spoiled blinked in confusion. “There’s been nothing said to myself on that matter.”
“Ah, perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Or it could have been about a different student. So many schools to oversee, so many names to get mixed up.” Smirking once again, Discord glanced between the two parents.
“If I need to sic the school board on Celestia, am I allowed to do so?” Spoiled’s lips thinned as she glared at Discord, growing more and more frustrated at his lax attitude.
“Oh, are we playing Monopoly then?” Discord asked with a jovial chuckle.
“For goodness sake, Discord!” Filthy snapped impatiently. “All my wife wishes to know is if you’ll stand behind her should she need to bring this matter directly to the board. It isn’t that difficult to understand.”
Discord clicked his tongue. “You’ve truly lost your sense of humor, Filthy,” he stated. “The two of you used to be so much nicer about things. You certainly weren’t as difficult as you’ve been as of late. Furthermore, don’t think for a second that the Camp Everfree matter is off the table.”
“Pray tell, why should my real estate decisions concern you?” Filthy demanded irritated.
“It would take too long to explain. Besides, I believe I’ve overextended this brief cameo.” Discord reached into his briefcase and removed a folder. “I will allow you to confront Celestia on what you believe is a problem concerning your daughter’s tutelage.
“However,” He held up a hand to forestall any sudden interruptions. “I cannot condone any actions which would require the attention of the entire CHS School Board. I’ve been getting some rather alarming reports from other concerned parents in regards to events at CHS, and it’s taking all of my power just to ensure nothing truly difficult results because of this.”
Spoiled frowned briefly. “As if this stupid magic non-issue should be any true cause for alarm,” she dismissed with an air of disinterest.
“I’m getting advanced in my years, Spoiled. My control needs to be firm and absolute. Playing favorites is something I can no longer do,” Discord commented.
“Very well, then. I suppose it can’t be helped.” Spoiled sighed. “I will speak with Celestia about my concerns, but I will not do anything that would require the rest of the school board.”
Discord smiled and leapt to his feet. He embraced Spoiled suddenly and without concern for personal boundaries.
“You’re certainly becoming more dramatic as you get older.” Filthy commented.
Discord waved his hand dismissively. “Eh, it makes me a more interesting character.” He dropped the folder in Filthy’s lap. “I’m going to give a little forewarning before you head on down to speak with Gloriosa. I suggest you read up on it.”
“What?” Filthy flipped the folder open to the first page and frowned. “But this is just old tax reports on land developments…”
“Don’t say I never did anything for you.” Discord chuckled and picked up his briefcase. “I may be an old man, but my mind is sharper than a stiletto. Don’t ever play the fool with me again, Filthy. I am head of the Board of Regents for a reason.”
“But…” Filthy glanced around nervously. “What possible reason could Scorpan or Tirek have for stopping my business deal?”
“Who said anything about stopping it?” Discord winked and glanced absently at his watch.
“If you’ll excuse me, I have another meeting with that ‘delightful’ Headmistress over at Crystal Prep to discuss more school reforms. Now, there’s a woman who really needs to loosen the tree branch lodged in her anus.
“Ta-Ta for now~ Don’t be a stranger downtown, Filthy! You still owe me a chance to break even at our little card game.” Smirking briefly Discord swept out of the room as boldly as he’d first entered it.
Filthy sighed after he heard the front door shut. “Well, that was extremely confusing and pointless.”
“Procedures are there for a reason, dear.” Spoiled sighed herself and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’ll never understand how anyone could possibly follow that man’s logic. He seemed more concerned with your blasted Camp Everfree issue than why I wanted him here in the first place.”
Filthy nodded. “You don’t suppose he’s hiding something about a shake up over at Canterlot High?” he wondered.
“I certainly hope not!” Spoiled snapped. “It’s been taxing enough keeping those pictures out of the paper. Let alone trying to explain why we’d be laughed out of the serious newspaper game if we announced Canterlot High was the epicenter of some sort of paranormal conspiracy.”
“I’ve always wondered why Mayor Tirek was so against letting that information out to the public at large.” Filthy frowned thoughtfully as he glanced over the papers Discord had given him. His eyes lit up when he caught a line on one of the last few pages. “Hello! This might be just the thing I need to ensure Miss Gloriosa will capitulate.”
Spoiled rolled her eyes. “Good for you. I suppose I’d better prepare for my meeting.”
Heading out, she pointedly ignored the elephant in the room. Spoiled had a good idea that the Mayor was more aware of the strange goings on at Canterlot High than he’d care to admit publicly. And whatever his reasons for keeping the nature of certain events which may or may not have gone down at the school since the previous Fall Formal secret, she was certain she didn’t care to speculate about them any further. It might prove hazardous to her political career.
Discord chuckled as his age lines and wrinkles slowly faded away. Tucking his tie into the glove compartment he tossed his briefcase into the back and sped off down the road. Whistling a little tune he glanced into the rear-view mirror as if looking for something and quirked a brow.
“Honestly, did you expect anything less of the alternate version of the mane universe?” he asked with a second chuckle.
Silence answered his question.
Discord rolled his eyes with a sigh of disappointment and chose to get back on the task at hand. “Abacus better not drone on and on about tradition and responsibility and all that whiffle waffle stuff again. I really am getting a little too old to keep dealing with these ridiculous issues.
“But on the bright side, at least she’s nowhere near as dull as that boorish Sombra chap used to be. Plus, she doesn’t try to get hanky panky with any of the students like he did. Not that anybody remembers why we had to sack the lout. It had to be kept all hush-hush to avoid causing a scandal.”
Discord stopped talking to the audience that only he could see and glanced at his side-mirror before making the turn towards Crystal Prep. A pair of glowing yellow eyes reflected in the mirror for a brief moment. One of them winked and then they both faded away.
Discord chuckled. “And I bet you thought I was talking to you.”
“Daddy, we’re going to be late to Crystal Prep.”
Discord flinched and glanced into the backseat at Screwloose. “Of course, dear. You always were such a good listener. Forgot you were there momentarily.” Smiling, he reached in the back to ruffle the young woman’s hair affectionately.
Screwball laughed and leaned back into her seat. “Love you too, daddy.”
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Oh man, Discord gets an appearance! And he's magical..?
Maybe it's just me but so far this story isn't as enjoyable as the first one. Still it's early so hopefully it starts to get better soon.
7731331 Yeah, he's Discord!
7731353
My apologies. What so far about the story is making you feel less entertained compared to the original? If it can be improved upon I'd love to know where to focus such improvements on.
If it's the lack of Naturism prevalent in the tale so far I'm afraid that'll be difficult to fix. We have to establish all the characters and key plot elements leading up to the big reveal for poor Scarlet Scribe.
Soneta helping Pinkie..
Scribe is gonna get the living hell beat out of him
Discord a dad...
#shitisgonnahitthefan
7731411 I think it's just that I feel the characters being focused on so far are pretty unlikable, I'm not really rooting for anyone so far but again it's early so I suppose there is still time for that to change. Luckily the chapters aren't so long that I would feel the need to quit after only 3 chapters.
... Questions have bee raised.
7731467
Ah, I see. I guess that's the downside for writing mostly from the antagonist's point of view, so to speak. Scribe isn't really antagonistic, but for the most part the rest of the cast are on the darker side of the equation. Hopefully once we hit the party proper and get done with all the setting up the characters will start to feel more likeable. The difficulty in writing a new story which is meant to be a sequel to someone else's work is that often times an entire new cast needs to be the focus, because capturing the characters just right and following on from the original with the CMC would just be the same old, same old I'm afraid. And I would find that very boring indeed.
Anyway I do hope you'll find more to enjoy as the story progresses.
That cameo was ALL KINDS of awesome!
7731467
I don't know, I'm liking these characters a lot myself. Individually they might not be likable, but they seem to have a good chemistry together that makes them flow and work better together than individually. About the only thing I can think of to make them better would be more snark -even snark-to-snark combat- and certain physical actions like putting someone in a headlock for getting out of line. But most of them might be too refined for that last one.
Another Sombre name drop... I like, but please let it be more
As for Discord... Why do I get the feeling he's playing Flithy like a fiddle... I mean he is the troll of Equstria... Now don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of Timber a canoe consular asking Sci-Twi a camo attendee out during the last night they were there but I don't want Glorirosa to suffer for that...
But really my pity goes to Scribble, blackmailed by his cousin's 'friends', forced to spy for DT...
And Screwball was a nice touch
i thought his kid was Screwball. Screwloose was the mare that acted like a dog.
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Enclave, would you mind and change that. I'll make sure I correct that for when she reappears later.
7732083 i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/507/833/f23.png
"Oh dear. And here I thought our illustrious author was above such mishaps. Perhaps... I just have a few screws loose myself." dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
The moles between the three groups:
Sonata (who dug one hole too much)
Lemon Zest (who is the most secretive musician between the CP students)
and...
Discord.
Crystal Flare: I think Discord is obvious enough.
This story so far has a serious issue with pacing. There is so much unnecessary dialogue repeating what we as an audience already know. We don't need to keep reaffirming how one note the Shadow Bolts are, or how much Scribe is being bullied into getting involved with (what is to him) a mystery club.
If much of the extra dialogue had been cut out, the last three chapters could have been cut down into one. It's getting very difficult to follow the story and pick out the relevant plot details when there is so much padding!
I'm really liking the longer chapters and the buildup, but I hope we get to the action soon.
I love Screwball! Now the story is getting somewhere...
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My bad. That's what I get for cutting my story up and shoehorning in more character bits from the original draft. I could have used a different topic of discussion and shortened the Shadowbolts scene, but the muse said write it this way and so this way is what I did. Fortunately we don't see a repeat of any bits in the next three chapters, they're all more character building moments and stuff, but it'll be a lot better I assure you and no repeat stuff to clutter up the narrative.
Although I wouldn't consider it padding. These are new characters after all and we do have to get to know them before we introduce them to the club proper.
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We will. There's a bit of action in the next few chapters, unless of course you meant a different sort of action. In which case the Naturism Party is still a little bit away. I suppose for a sequel folks just expected it to jump right in, considering the entire first story build up the creation of the club and everything. But where's the fun in that?
Well ok maybe there's a little fun in that, but I don't like dropping someone into the deep end without establishing them as a character first. And the point of the story was writing from Diamond's perspective through the eyes of one of her unseen before now minions. Getting Diamond into the club would be just impossible. So we have to do with Scribe and his small entourage.
7732688 I love her too! I can't wait for Daughter of Discord episode 6 to come out!
Ok folks, serious question time. As the pacing seems to have been brought up, here's what I'd like to know.
Are you ok with what we've got now? Or would you prefer 30 thousand word epics to pick up the pace and take out unnecessary scenes? Because I could easily take most of what I've got lined up now and dump it all into the next chapter to make one big monster one.
This would mean however that we'd be going to a once a month update schedule as it takes time to edit everything and my friend who helps me out can only handle so much at a time.
Granted I never thought I'd have to worry about pacing in a Slice of Life type story, but I'm sure if you'd prefer to get things done faster we can do it, just means less to look forward to from week to week because we'd be using up most of my pre-written stuff pretty fast that way. Which means I'd need more time to write the new material and fix any problems with repetitive and unnecessary material.
Thoughts, opinions? Anything I can do to help make things more entertaining and enjoyable I'll certainly attempt if enough people ask for it.
7733538 Screwball is probably my favorite background pony. Love that pony!
Yes Discord wins even if he loses. God he is awesome.
Also go Sonata, make new friends.
7735509 This one is just a place holder. I haven't found a good one that really fits the story just yet. And no, I'm not going to commission something.
7732083 Oiy! spoilers
!
7743053 easy river song
PHRASING
Wait or was this intentional /_/
All in all great chapter in a great story
That bit at the end with Discord was fun, and that other bit with Screwball was adorable.
I need to look into finding some stories for them.