• Member Since 8th Mar, 2016
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

RuinQueenofOblivion


Dashite forever!

Comments ( 24 )

This seems like it's going to be a very goo interpretation of the diverged time line.

7754896
7754845

Thanks, I try my best :twilightsmile:, here's hoping I can keep it up.

This is good one of the more believable takes on the Sombra war. Also show that in any timeline Dash will look after Scootaloo. Hope you keep writing this.

7755112 Glad you're liking it, and yep that was my point really, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo's relationship in the show is one of my favorite things in the show, and I figured that it would be something that would carry over to any timeline. This fanfic was inspired by the image that serves as the cover because, well, its something I see as a plausible explanation of how she lost her wing in the timeline.

And yep, I plan to keep writing it.

Well done! Have a fav, follow, and like on me!

This is a very good take on the whole Sombra war timeline, I never even considered the relationship Rainbow and Scootaloo would have in this universe. Very good story and idea, I'm looking forward to where it goes.:twilightsmile:

7755457 Huh, really? I thought it was kind of an obvious thing to explore at some point.

Anyway I'm glad you're liking it so far, I plan to work on it more later.

Logged in solely to like, fave and follow. There were a couple grammar errors that I would go back and tidy up, but kudos.

7755563 Yeah, I'm terrible at grammar honestly.

Pretty good. A little fast for me, but, meh, still liking and faving

Thus begins the legacy of Rainbow Iron Wing Dash

7756310

IT BEGINS!!!! Yaaaaaaaaah!

This is so rushed... there are like four major emotional shock that deserved their own chapters at least and you crammed them all in one 2000 word cluster f. This is your first story right? It definitely looks like it. My advice is to try to start with something a lot smaller scale. Imagination is neigh limitless but your abilities are not as of yet. You have to practice a lot before you could properly write such an epic story you envisioned here. But don't let my words deter you from writing, if you want to write you definitely should, but just as in dancing the cool move only look cool if you have the basics down to pat. So start with something simple. Like a novella. It's a short story, usually revolves around one character or one situation, the plot is almost always linear and the whole story usually wraps up in one day. It lets you concentrate on the journey between plot point A and B because you don't get overwhelmed by your own ideas.
Don't worry I've been there done that. I had to learn the hard way that writing is not about having a bunch of good ideas it's about presenting your good ideas to the public.

TakeHow to preen your chicken for example. Widely considered as one of the better stories on fimfiction, and definitely one the best Scootadash stories. What happens in it? Nothing really. Rainbow and scoot finish flying for the day they have a little conversation Rainbow preens her then a Stallion comes and Rainbow signs some papers. You see? Completely linear, completely small scale, and thoroughly personal. And everyone loves it because Drakkith realised that reading is not a wild ride on the roller coaster but a journey that can be only worthwhile if the writer lets the readers immerse themselves in whatever world the writer created.

Edit: Holy cow I misjudged you so hard. This nowhere near your first story. Still my criticism applies nonetheless.

7756871 Your points are fair, the thing is I use prologues to set the stage for the rest of the story. Yes it might feel a little rushed, and that is a problem I might have, but I wanted to start with this and build on it more in the future.

This almost feels like it could be a one-shot on its own.
But the incomplete tag makes me look forward to more.

So is Steelpony corporation is what project Steelpony from project horizons was supposed to be? :rainbowlaugh: bravo!

Loving this! Please don't let Twilight be evil here.

8499011 I wasn't even considering it... until you said that.

8499021
Oh my, then I've opened Pandora this round it seems.

8499069 Nah, I can promise you that Twilight Sparkle will not be evil.

8499080
Awesome and looking forward to more.:-)

Will this ever be continued?

Login or register to comment