The Gobble Wars

by Glen Gorewood

Day one: Gobble Alert, Preperations

Deep in the Thankful Forest, border of the Griffon Kingdom

Tombel Turkeyton rolled over in his nest, a father of fifty chicks he was still fairly young at a mere fifteen years. His feathers were an unusual slate blue, and his eyes sharp and brilliant. His great beak, for his wife told him it was so, had told many a tale over the past decade. No spring chicken was he, yet not an elder, the semi youthful turkey stretched his wings and got up to begin the day. Just yesterday his youngest brood had participated in a pony tradition called Nightmare Night.

A funny name that holiday had, after all it was mostly dressing up and getting free goodies. That was as far from a Nightmare as could be, after all it was the month of November that was really a nightmare for Turkeys who lived in the Thankful Forest. But it wasn’t that month yet, after all yesterday was only October 31st.

Tombel froze mid stretch, sleepy his mind racing. October 31st was the last day of the month, which was also Nightmare Night. And after October came...

“Oh dear Celestia and the great Tom please no.” Tombel groaned as he walked over to the calendar on his study wall. He often fell asleep here while designing new things, for Tombel had a nasty habit of losing track of time. So there on his wall, in perfectly set printed type, was the name of that dreaded month. The true month of Nightmares, when Turkeys faced off against the greatest terror they knew. The month of November.

The Griffin Feast Hunt.

Or as Turkeys knew it, The Yearly Gobble Massacre. It started traditionally on November 2nd and ran till the 25th. When one of the captured turkeys would be returned while the rest were plucked, killed, basted, baked, and eaten. Tombel had lost many chicks to this most cursed of holidays, as well as close family and friends. The mere thought of what was to begin the very next day set his gizzard a boil. He hated this holiday with a passion, with all the pointless bloodshed against defenseless turkeys.

“Curse this month, if only there were a way to defend ourselves we Turkeys would not be so mercilessly slaughtered. By the divine Tom, if only there was a way.”

Tombel falls to his haunches, sobbing against the wall.

“I don’t want to lose anymore family and friends to this horrendous month. If only we could fight back somehow.”

A sound like popcorn popping in a pan come from behind the turkey, and as he turns his crying eyes towards it he cannot help but. Sitting in his nest is a great turkey, though it’s head was oddly shaped like a dragon’s with two off colored eyes and mis matched horns. It smiles at him and said, “Tombel, I have heard your prayers and come to your aid. As of this year, no longer shall you, my favored Turkeys, be defenseless against the slaughter to come. For I shall teach you, the way of the Gobble.”

Tombel is speechless, and merely walks over and bows at the great gluttonous Tom’s talons. “Teach me, teach all of us oh great one”, the turkey says in a reverent tone.

The great Tom, who in no way resembles the fashionable and handsome Discord, grins. “As you wish my young pupil. Now let us begin. Do tell me, what do you know of the many uses of forks?”

Tombel glances up in awe, “No, I do not know the uses of forks beyond the basics oh great Tom.”

The great Tom nods sagely, waving his right wing he causes a great crossbow with a fork set within like an arrow to appear. Gesturing at it he bellows, “ Forks are for more than eating. See here, the Great Bow of Forkipulation, also known as the GBF. With it you shall gain great power and knowledge, and be able to protect your fellows from the terrors that start tommorow.”

Tombel reaches for the great GBF, holding it with the reverence one would show a holy object. Staring in awe and adoration at that great and massive Tom who now sits in his nest that for some reason resembles cotton candy, he speaks.
“Oh wise and powerful Tom, what else can you teach me and my fellows?”

The great and massive bird, who looks nothing like Discord in a turkey costume I assure you, grins in glee.
“Oh my wonderful child, gather all your kin and friends within the great hollow tomorrow and I shall speak to you and share my wisdom. With my help, this year the month of November shall no longer be one of sorrow, but great chaos and rebellion. Your kind shall fight back against your oppressors, and give the Griffins many a fork to the rear!”

Tombel is so taken with this being that he merely says, “I shall do as you say oh great Tom.”
He then dashed out the door to inform everyturkey he knows, the GBF in wing. For tommorow they shall dine in chaos.

Meanwhile the Turkey Tom God that is Not Discord snaps his wings and causes a parade of sentient ice cream shrubberies to appear and dance about. Grinning, he goes over the many many ways his turkey filled plan could go chaotically wrong.

Griffin Kingdom

“Oh happy day, yes oh yay, for tomorrow is turkey hunt day. My daddy said I could come too, oh yippee happy google doo!” A young griffon chick skips around the Griffsburg square, filled with glee and quite frankly being highly embarrassing. So embarrassing indeed that his own parents are pretending he isn’t their chick.

Gilda just stares at him, shocked by such an awkward and silly display. She shudders as the chick does a little spin and poses like he is pointing a weapon at something before continuing with the skipping about. Turning to her mother she asks, “Mom, was I ever that embarrassing and dorky when I was about to go on my first Turkey Hunt?”

Gilda’s mother, Glenna merely smirks. “Oh no dear, you were much worse. I believe you actually chortled and did a slide maneuver as well. It was very pony like actually.”

Gilda groans, “Mom, you are embarrassing me right before the Turkey Hunt Teams are chosen.”

Glenna smiles, “I know I am dear, that’s my job as your mother.”

Gilda merely hides her head in a High Flyer Monthly magazine due to sheer embarrassment. She only hopes this ridiculous stunt by her mother won’t end with her in a loser team tomorrow.

Author's Note:

So it begins.
The Gobble Wars, an experimental writing story based on Turkeys fighting back against Griffons with thier lives on the line. It would have been a tale of drama, woe, adventure, and great sacrifice. But Not Discord the Great Tom got involved so that idea is completely out the window.

Updated daily till November 25th.

Enjoy.

Glen Gorewood