I hope that Starlight get what's coming to her, she better be defeated and made into Twilight's student or sex pet, too bad that Tirek is sealed away he could drain her of her magic and free Twilight and Spike of the brainwashing that Starlight put them into.

There is a bit of a split on this topic as a previous commenter hopes for Starlight to get truly reformed. I'd be interested on where others fall, either on Starlight eventually being reformed or getting her just desserts, or those who'd like her to win completely.

the story is interesting, but I don't like the way you ended this chapter, it doesn't feel like an ending if that makes sense.

7752377
Reformed is relative... If she makes it subtle enough that Twilight and the others can keep living their own lives in between the fun parts, that's already leaps and bounds better than her village was (or the season 5 finale).

Whichever way it goes, I hope we'll at least get to see her work on Twilight's other friends before that happens.

7752917 Maybe it feels that way because the ending has some ambiguity as to what's about to happen next. In the parlance of tropes you could say the chapter ends with a fade to black.

7752377 Starlight winning all the way

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Honestly I think i would like it best if starlight gets truly reformed... but still ends up as sub Twilight's dom.

Twilight sure is easy to hypnotize. But I guess she's been trained a bit already, and she's clearly a natural. I personally liked the chapters ending... Though I also like seeing her after she put under. Now that Twilight consciously submits to hypnosis Starlight has a lot more leeway in triggers, and in routinely training her. Can't wait to read more.

I'd kind of like Starlight winning, though being reformed would be OK too.

7752377
Well, reform is nice, getting her karma is nicer... and personally, I would love it if Starlight ended up as Sunburst's sex slave. ^_^

7752377 Personally, I think I'm more interested in a middle ground being reached, here.

The Mane 6 eventually figure out what's happening, but realize they kinda like the new "normal". So, they ensure Starlight doesn't extend her influence further than who she already has control over, but agree to stay Starlight's playthings, when reasonable. So, Starlight doesn't exactly get punished/reformed for what she's doing, but doesn't really get carte blanche either.

How you would approach writing that ending, I would leave to you, however.

7762350

Everyone ultimately consenting is my least favorite outcome in these sort of stories. What's even the point of mind control then? Half the fetish is about removal or impairment of free will.

7762756 We can agree to disagree, then.

Mind control as a mechanism to remove autonomy is fun, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a one-sided relationship.

For example, I've seen you comment around on Wintermist's Friendship is Mind Control and it's sequel. It originally started as a story where Twilight was singularly dominating them, and later evolved into a somewhat-consensual relationship with those she's controlling. I was merely offering the possibility of a similar outcome occurring in this, given Starlight's very different personality here to Twilight's - it'd be interesting to see how the dynamic would change.

And at the end of the day, it's not my story, so it's really Windy's call on what direction the story goes. It was just a suggestion.

7763005 I was debating whether to comment on the idea of a consenting slavery ending. As you've invoked Wintermist's seminal work, I decided to share some of my thoughts.

This story can't help but be compared to Friendship is Mind Control and inevitably serves as a foil when it comes to certain themes. I really enjoyed FiMC, but had issues with parts of it as well. I could expound in a post full of spoiler tags if anyone was really curious.

I invite any authors that wish to write a crossover story where my Starlight and Wintermist's Twilight meet and chat

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7763096

I was thinking about that story when considering my response, as I will not deny it's the premier MC story on this site, and I personally like it even after Twilight pulled back from the evil side a bit. It did honestly get less sexy when her friends all get into the submissive relationship willingly, but the story still places emphasis on the loss of free will when the charm is active.

I guess this helped me narrow down what I don't like about a consent ending: It's not arousing (for me) when the characters just add mistress titles, sex games, and fetish wear to normal activity, and even "they were pets/slaves happily ever after" just makes me roll my eyes.

This story's direction is very interesting; on one hand it is superficially heading to one of those "consent" relationships, but on the other it's very obvious Twilight is being brainwashed unknowingly into it rather than making her own decisions. I think that's what Windyspirals means by it being a foil; the consent isn't really consent, and FiMC has backed away from that point in some respects (however I personally suspect it will revisit the topic once actual conflict returns).

Personally I love this story's path so far, and a big reason I don't want it to have a Good end is that means either turning into a justice fantasy against Starlight, or dropping the nuance of brainwashing someone into thinking the relationship is something it isn't.

7763158 Well, I personally find FiMC more enjoyable after the focus shift. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Moving from the complete, unknowing submission to Enhanced Reality™ has led to some extremely entertaining and sexy moments in said fic.

And I do agree that the story's current direction is very good.

How you would approach writing that ending, I would leave to you, however.

When I wrote this in my original post regarding the suggestion, it was mostly due to that fact. Windy would have to do a lot of writing to guide it to an ending such as this, since as it currently stands, it's unlikely to end up that way, and much more likely to fall under the original two "possibilities" that were presented.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming chapters for this, no matter what direction it ends up going.

7763158

This story's direction is very interesting; on one hand it is superficially heading to one of those "consent" relationships, but on the other it's very obvious Twilight is being brainwashed unknowingly into it rather than making her own decisions.

The real question you have to ask is how different the consent Starlight and Twilight offer in the respective stories, if there is a difference at all.

7763350

The sexual "pressure" into the relationships is pretty similar when you look at it closely.

The big difference so far is that Starlight hasn't come clean to Twilight about what she did and asked Twilight for permission to continue, which is what I don't tend to like (though only because they always end up agreeing...)

Starlight is certainly enticing in control and doing an excellent job of making Twilight squirm Her control really seems to be settling since Twilight continues to deny the possibility of Starlight doing anything to her or lying to her. With Starlight now bringing hypnosis in for Twilight to know about shall make it that much harder for Twilight to realize what Starlight has done to her, as now that it is here in her submission she won't know how long it has been going on when it seems normal. Great job.

I am not normally a fan of hypnosis fics where someone takes away someone else's free will, because it's not realistic or reasonable.

But here?

You started with a magical-enhanced trance, and got Twilight to do what she wanted -- reform a villain and show her the power of friendship. Exactly what Twilight would believe.

You've then got some wing massages, a chance for Twilight to physically relax and calm down, while Starlight talks and distracts, probably in a calm, monotone, Maud-like, slow, gentle pace, with a trigger word while distracted. And a few suggestions to both think that she's dreaming about being sexually manipulated, and apparently to have dreams about it.

It's ... well, it pretty clearly establishes this Starlight as evil, and unreformed, but it's also clear that once Twilight does some research, she's going to find, exactly as you said, fetishes about submission, and conclude that maybe that's her.

I can also fully see her saying "Let me try it, and see if I like it".

But I've also noticed, twice I think, the whole "But I can trust Starlight completely". That's a key implanted suggestion from either the first or second session, and it's what Starlight's manipulation is based on.

Starlight doesn't have to do anything more at this point, except what Twilight willing to do, because Twilight has basically been wrecked by two things:

1. That "Trust Starlight" suggestion,
2. The idea of "I'm acting like X; research shows that X implies Y; give Y a try".

And yea, at this point, "voluntarily" letting Starlight hypnotize her, and wanting to reach that "completely surrendered/submissive" state, ...

Basically, Starlight has succeeded, probably beyond her wildest hope. She's probably got nothing to worry about, except that the "friend" she made up, turns out to actually exist, and now she'll have to make up with someone that doesn't know her.

Oh, the lies will have to spiral. Maybe she'll get caught and discovered? After all, this is a world where the forces of Harmony are a real thing.

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Something like this might happen, at least as a partial short.

I just started a society in a Discord game, "ThemGames", on the Sea of Stories server (link: https://discord.gg/7Bcakbvh3s). For my starting worlds, I took FiMC, OiM, and a Harry Potter fic. Common theme? Mind control/manipulation.

Of course, if when they do meet up, one is going to want to hide what she can do, and the other wants to be an ambassador of friendship, so ...