• Member Since 1st Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Saturday

Grimweird


Just another fan-fiction author with a taste for the bizzare

T

Warning: This story contains massive Spoilers for 'Past Sins' and 'Winter Bells' - written by Pen Stroke, as well as 'Sweetie, a Hearts Warming Tale' - written by me.
If you have not read both those stories before digging into this - Its on you.

Coming to grasp with your true self is never easy, especial not when you are the only one of your kind.

Sweetie - the cybernetic filly, is struggling with this reality. And has been attending sessions under Twilight Sparkle, to help herself coupe with her situation.

While there she runs into Nyx. And the black little filly is not happy to see her.

Feeling cheated by the notion that there was another 'artificial construct ' living right under her nose this whole time, the former reincarnation of Nightmare moon has a little difficult accepting Sweeties supposed secrecy as anything more then excuses.

But there is more then meets the eye in every conflict. And one small quarrel over differences might leas the two to discover that they have more in common then they might think.

Rated teen for some mild violence and some cartoonish yet rude names being used.

(Cover art is coming soon, Also - I have yet to spell check this story properly. So prepare for typos galore.)

Ps: I hope its not cheating that I use the character image for Nightmare Moon as a stand in for Nyx.)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

[Before reading] A single chapter? I didn't saw that coming from you ("Hearts warming story" feel like you always find the way for yet another chapter). Also :yay: yay! for Multiverse.

[After reading] Once again :yay: yay! for Multiverse.

The story is fine, Nyx is a bit out of character, but not too much. ! The land of eternal tickles ! and other stuff

As for the whole artificial filly talk:

Showing a screwdriver "Do you know what it is?"
"A screwdriver"
Now rising a second, cartoonish colored, made of plastic toy screwdriver"Good. now tell me, do you know what this is?"
"A toy screwdriver?"
Placing both tools close to each other"Yes, now what their are used for?"
"To drive a screw?"
"How are their being used?"
"You're rotating them."
"What you use to rotate them?"
"Their handle?"
"How their are shaped?"
"Like screwdrivers?"
"So, do they are different in any mean?"
"Well, This one is plastic."
Showing toy"But does it mean that it isn't a screwdriver?"
"No"
"Does it mean that I can't use it to drive a screw?"
"No"
"So that is the difference?"
"The material they are made of?"
"Yes. Do they have any other difference? any at all?"
"No, I don't thing so."
"And you are right. There isn't any more differences beside material. The screwdriver is still a screwdriver. And the same goes for you Sweetie. It doesn't matter which material was used, flesh or steel, as long as your functionality stays the same. The screwdriver is still a screwdriver."
{The talk between Sweetie Bot and Toy Maker}

7693026

I know, I surprise even myself.

7693556

Multiverse indeed: the only way to explain how these two could meet would be that things transgressed differently in both their stories - as there were elements in both that become contradictory at best, and create plotholes the size of asteroids if one tries to account for it all.

I could make some weak excuse that Nyx in this Universe is different from the one in past sins - But I am self aware enough not to try and claim that this is "My interpenetration" of someone else's character.
Truth was - I though the whole first act was out of character for both Sweetie and Nyx. It was the part I struggled the hardest to write. And It just became way more antagonistic then I had originally intended. Of course I know that Nyx would never attack Sweetie so outright. And Sweetie would never call Nyx a ******* Moonbutt. (Why did I write that? - Oh right. I was trying to force an unnecessary fight-scene.)
(This is what happens when you let your imagination run wild after watching too much anime.)

I thought The second act was way better - As we leave the castle and head out to the statue for some introspective discussion.
(which is where the heart of this little crossover should really lay)

And the third act with its playful power fantasy (and its adorable resolution) felt cute to write, and was a much needed contrast from the bleaker tone from earlier. (not to mention unnecessary fight.)

Lastly: Twilight's thoughts at the end of the story, about how the two fillies are "Too unique to be multiplied - too tare to disappear." Was a play on Jack Thompson's (Raoul Duke's) end quote from 'Fear and loathing in Las Vegas' about Dr Gonzo:

"There he goes, one of gods own prototypes. A high powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

Why am I associating such words with small artificially constructed horses? I don't know ... I'm just weird like that.

cheers.

7695411 And you actually manage to write it down. I mean, I want to finally upload one of my stories here, but I somehow never can find time to finish even the first chapter. The enemy to the cancelled stories I am. I have like dozen of ideas for stories to be done and none actually come past 500 words. I have scenes for the stories, the plot, the characters, the problems, but cannot glue them together in a way I would be happy with them.

Also for explanation, the Toy Maker is on OC for one of those 'still is blueprint' stories. Her full name is S.A.M and is running the 'Toys, tools and dolls' shop, with 'private, underground workshop'.
If you are wondering why such a name - her father was mad scientist, you can blame him.

I'm sorry, I loved your story but noticed you made Autism seem like an insult in it.. I was hoping you could maybe just Delete that one insult? Autism is a huge hurdle for me and people like me and I would very much appreciate it if you would maybe decide to respect this social disability instead of making it seem like an insult instead of a real and serious issue. I'm high functioning, I've seen children that can't even speak in more then guteral noises and can't take care of themselves. It is however not mean we are all "retarded" that is a different mental disability- thank you for your time, Abby

Personally, I think the scariest part of the story was Pinkie Pie. Then again, she tends to be the scariest part of any story. :pinkiecrazy: Also, Star Wars reference.

I think you may have taken a few creative liberties with Nyx. But for the most part, I think you kept true to the character. In fact, did you even realize how many parallels your Sweetie Bot had with Nyx when you made the concept, or is it just a coincidence that they have so many parallels?

I'm a little disappointed that you didn't use Sweetie's control program as a comparison to Nyx's "Nightmare Moon" memories changing who she was, since the control program altered Sweetie's memories to make her think Neurosa was her mother.

8588606
I know what you mean. I'm in the same boat as you, being high functioning autistic. However, the word "autism" has in fact taken a new meaning over time. Once it was one of several developmental disorders. But recently, it became a blanket term for all developmental disorders of that kind. When I was originally diagnosed, I was diagnosed as PDD:NOS (pervasive developmental disorder: not otherwise specified). That meant that I didn't fall into a specific category. I wasn't technically specifically "autistic" until the terminology changed. But I digress. My point is that I know that struggle, knowing what it's like to be aware of your own disability and be unable to do anything about it even when logically, I feel like I should be able to.

As for the use of "autism" as an insult, I agree that it shouldn't be used as such. But one thing I've noticed about Grimweird's writing is that he tends to understand how the mind of a child that age would work. Would a child Nyx's age know not to use it as an insult if she wasn't specifically taught not to? I agree that it would be insulting if it were intended to be insulting towards autistics. But the problem with political correctness is that it creates social taboos that really shouldn't be there. It actually pisses me off that I'm not allowed to say "the N word" just because I'm not black. If I can't say it, then I don't think black people should have the right to say it either. That's what "equal rights" means. So I don't think using autism as an insult is inappropriate if it's used for the narrative of a story. Because in that context, it's not actually an attack on autism.

8620358

Did you even realize how many parallels your Sweetie Bot had with Nyx when you made the concept, or is it just a coincidence that they have so many parallels?

Yes. I realized it. That's why I wrote this story in the first place.

I'm a little disappointed that you didn't use Sweetie's control program as a comparison to Nyx's "Nightmare Moon" memories changing who she was, since the control program altered Sweetie's memories to make her think Neurosa was her mother.

Can't think of everything, I guess.

8625607
I think I worded the question wrong, since obviously that's why you made this story. I guess a better question is, were the parallels intentional or coincidental when you wrote the first story?

8625695

Those were ... Coincidental.

I did not have Nyx in mind while writing Sweetie Bot. Though, since I read that story first, Maybe some subliminal inspiration slipped through. (even though My main inspiration was Blackjack from Fallout Equestria Project horizons - now there you can talk about charachter torture.)

It was (like you said) when I noticed the similarities afterwards that I decided to write this story.

By the way - Merry Christmas and a Happy new year to you.
would have written back sooner. but I been busy with all the preparations and celebrations (and celebrations fallouts).

“I know the feeling. The only good, sort-of clear memory I have from my deleted history time is wanking up for the very first time. And laying eyes on her.”

Uh.... Sweetie no

“Or maybe its just me who have failed to grow.” she said. Rubbing her own foreleg yet again “I cant actually grow at all. Not like you or eveypony else. Its not so bad now but in just a few years everypony of my age is gonna tower over me. Sure I might still mature. But unless I upgrade myself, I will forever remain a filly.”

Wait, I thought Sweetie could intake material and use it to grow?

“”Yep … Its like people cant look at us without thinking that we are secretly planning to destroy the world.”

”Can you imagine how it would look if we did?”

The two artificially constructed fillies looked at each other, A wide grin spreading across their faces.

...oh no XD

”So are you! You played to!” Nyx argued.

GOT 'ER

Well, still many mistakes. But my problem here is also is that how you made Sweetie Bot just as responsible, if not more, while Nyx started it, and didn't try to play anything down. Sweetie was just as bad later, but I hold Nyx solely responsible, as she started the whole mess. Your previous stories had better characterisation. Keep writing, and find a proof reader, for goodness sake.

8859746
Yeah, now that I look at your comment, they did say that Sweetie Bot could/had to eat some specific gems to grow. In A Heart's Warming Tale, no less. And they wanted to just rebuild her to grow up AFTER. Can't remember where, though, same story, or second...

8859746
It wasn't very obvious, but that wasn't quite implemented yet. It was planned, but didn't work out.

(I only really remember this because I read this right after A Heart's Warming Tale.)

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