• Member Since 18th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2022

PyraBlue Heart


Ain't comin back

T

Treble Clef has had to deal with the advances of Adagio ever since he started attending Canterlot High. At first he thought little of it, but as he formed a relationship with another girl it became more and more of an issue.

He didn't hate her, he was more annoyed than anything. However, once he finds her in a more vulnerable state, she begins to tell him her real reasons for being so persistent. All the schemes, all the flirting and all the sly grins. What drove her to go to such lengths to earn his attention?


This story features a character from the story Cut Above The Rest

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Not bad. Little short for my tastes, but especially with one of the characters being semi-mute, it's not too much of a problem. I will admit to being a little biased, being an avid SunDagio shipper, but there were certainly some things I liked about this.

However...

I can't help but think that you should make it clear earlier that Treble's from another story. Maybe add a sequel tag, or at least mention it in the description or at the beginning of the story? I say this mostly because the part about him having broken up with Sunset came completely out of nowhere for me since I hadn't read that other story and, with him being an OC, was a huge red flag for me. The part about him being unaffected by Adagio's song for whatever reason also makes no sense to me. Vinyl being protected by her headphones makes sense and the Rainbooms being immune because they have magic of their own makes sense to me, even if it's not explicitly spelled out. Treble, who as far as I can tell has neither of those things going for him, really feels like he needs an explanation. Is that something you address in the other story? If so, I apologize for jumping to conclusions. :twilightoops:

All that being said, I very much like the depiction of Adagio wanting affection but not knowing how to get it without being conniving and manipulative, having just recently written something along the same lines myself. It feels very appropriate to her character, keeping an aspect of her villainous ways but portraying it in a legitimately sympathetic light. Her realization at the end is quite sweet and I do like the direction she's headed. Treble's a little flat without any extra context, mostly due to the short length of this story, but what I've seen of him so far is fairly likable and Adagio's got a valid reason to be intrigued by him, even if the presence of that reason doesn't make all that much sense to me.

I guess I wouldn't mind seeing more? :applejackunsure: Sorry if that's less than enthusiastic; I don't intend to sound harsh and I do enjoy the way you write Adagio, but it's a little hard to be all that interested in a romance when only one of the couple is compelling and I just haven't seen enough of Treble to be invested in him. It's very possible that I'm just saying all this because I'm not familiar with all the background, so take what I said with a grain of salt. Hopefully your returning readers can give more useful feedback.

I thought this story was great! Not a whole lot of stories view Adagio as wanting anything more than power. This approach was very refreshing, not to mention, you managed to keep her character intact without changing her too much. Seriously, nice work! I would love to see where this leads in the future! :pinkiehappy:

7681512 well, this story was mainly made just for fun and for the ones who read the story Treble is from. Also, it's not a sequel, just something that I did plan for the story but decided not to do as it wouldn't really fit. And about Treble being unaffected by the song, I didn't exactly mean he was immune, maybe just had his headphones on along with Vinyl. I didn't really give that area much thought, it was more there to be a reason for Adagios actions. In the actual story of where Treble is from he is slightly protected from the song by being close to the human five, with their magic affecting him, but not completely protecting him, as he still is influenced by the song just slightly. Anyway, the main focus for me here was Adagio, as in the story I write her as a villain, so I wanted to write her in a more reasonable and sympathetic light.

7681925 The headphone thing seems a little iffy since he's not described as wearing them all the time in this story, but your other explanation makes sense. :twilightsmile:

I guess the problem I had was that there wasn't any indication at first that that extra context was even there at all, so it looked like there was a pretty gaping plot hole. It's probably pretty nitpicky of me to remark on it, especially now that you've clarified, so I'm sorry if I got a little ranty back there :twilightblush:.

And as I said, I did enjoy the way you wrote Adagio, so I found the story as a whole to be fairly entertaining, even if there were a few moments that made me go :rainbowhuh:

I don't know that I'll get around to reading the main story, but I'm certainly intrigued and wouldn't mind seeing a little more of this Adagio. :twilightsmile:

This was a great story. I would love it if you wrote another Adagio X Human OC romance fic. :twilightsmile:

7836749 a full length one is on the way

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