• Published 29th Nov 2011
  • 2,875 Views, 162 Comments

Baking Perfect Pie - Kumare Tanamaru



When the new kid comes to town, Pinkie Pie volunteers herself to throw him a Pinkie Party.

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Epilogue

"Chocolate, Paprika!" Travis called out into the twilight air. "Time for dinner! You're mother is waiting!"

"Aww, but grandpa, it's not even dark out!" Chocolate called back.

"I didn't say it was. I said it was time for dinner, now come on inside!" he said gently.

"Darn, I thought we were gonna get to catch fireflies! C'mon Paprika, lets go inside..." he said goose-stepping his way towards the door.

"Wait!" Paprika called to her brother. "I think I see one!"

Chocolate's ears perked and he turned around.

"Really?" he said with his eyes lit up.

He trotted back to his sister and laid down next to her looking at the grass.

"I saw one land just there!" she said to him.

"Are you sure...? It looks like it's just another bug..." he said frowning.

The bug lit up and Chocolate jumped back in surprise.

"Whoa! Git em! Don't let him get away!" he said to his sister who tried to get it to go into a jar.

"I almost... Got it!" she said hopping into the air.

The jar was filled with light, and both the foals stared into the glass jar in awe.

"Whoa... Just like Dad said!" Paprika pointed out.

"And just what do you think you two are doing out here?" I said to the children.

"Uh, hi d-dad!" Chocolate began. "W-we were about to come inside! Honest!"

"And why didn't you come inside after Grandpa told you to?"

"We were catching Fireflies!" Paprika said bouncing up to me.

"Oh? Well then you must know what time it is."

The foals looked at each other.

"What time is it??"

"It's a very special time."

"Tell us!"

"It's time to go inside! Oh BOY!" I said with an enormous smile on my face.

The two looked down in disappointment as Chocolate put the jar in my hoof, and started walking towards the door.

"Come on, don't look so sad you two. Your mother made your favorite meal~"

"All right!" the two said dashing into the house.

I looked down at the firefly in the jar and sighed.

You know, somehow I think that this firefly represents me. How I was contained by fear, and was driven by sadness back in Trottsten.

I opened the jar and watched the bug fly out and join the rest of the fireflies in the air.

"Have a good life. You deserve it."



*****



"So," I began after swallowing a bit of fruit. "Is there anything you two specifically want for Celestmas this year?"

"Well, not really. We have family! What more is there to want?" Paprika said with a huge smile on her face.

"You're your mother's daughter alright." I said laughing a bit.

"Chocolate?" Pinkie Pie said. "What about you dear?"

"Not really. I can't think of anything at the moment." he said pondering.

There was a knock at the door and I got up to answer it. I opened the door and there were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, all grown up.

"Hay there Pineapple!" Apple Bloom said.

"How are you doing Apple Bloom? I haven't seen you in a while! You've really been growing up!"

"Yessir! C'mon Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo."

Both of the ponies came up the walk and I greeted them both.

"So, what can I do for you girls?"

"Applejack wanted me tuh give this tuh Pinkie Pie, and Scoot an' Sweetie Belle wanted to see the little ones!"

"Oh, well come on in!"

"Are ya hungry? We have leftovers!"

"Sure! I'm starved!" Scootaloo answered.

"Well, help yourselves. We've got plenty."



*****



"So, have any of you seen Twilight recently?"

"Not that I know of." Sweetie Belle answered. "I actually haven't seen her in a while to be honest."

"Hm... Strange. I think I'll go try to find her tomorrow morning."

"Why?" Scootaloo asked.

"I... Have a job I've got to do for Princess Celestia." I said. "It's pretty important."

"Oh... Well... We have to be goin' really. Our sister's are gonna get worried."

"Yeah, and Rainbow Dash promised me I could stay at her place tonight!"

"Perfect timing! The little ones have to get to bed."

"Night Mr. and Mrs. Spice! Night kids!" the former crusaders called to us.

"Goodnight!" we all called back.

"I just can't get used to that!" Pinkie said closing the door.

"Getting called Mrs. Spice? Yeah, neither can I. Anyways, time for bed kiddos!"

"Aww, can't we stay up a bit longer?"

"No, not tonight." Pinkie said

"Fine..." they said going into their room.

I tucked them into bed, and went to turn off the light.

"Wait!" Paprika said.

"Yes?"

"Can you tell us a story?" she said with her eyes lighting up.

Pinkie entered the room.

"Oo~! Yeah! Tell us a story!" she said sitting patiently on the floor.

"Haha, alright. What story do you want to hear?"

"Tell us about how you and mom met!" Chocolate suggested.

"You want to hear that story, huh?"

"Yeah!" they all yelled."

I looked around the room and took a seat in a chair in the corner of the room.

"Let's see... Where shall I begin?"









FIN....?

Comments ( 15 )
#1 · Dec 26th, 2011 · · ·

WARNING: LARGE REVIEW IMMINENT. EXPECT WALL OF TEXT.

Where shall I begin.

This story is my favourite OC-shipping story in all of ponydom. You have done a great job of writing a story that keeps the plot rolling and has readers begging for more like a thirsty man in the desert who just got a mouthful of water. The characterization of all the characters from the show is beyond amazing and fits so well, I honestly imagine this as being canon. Far-in-the-future canon, but canon nonetheless. The inclusion of Trey was a great one as well, and I especially enjoyed it as Flutterheart was the second story I ever read on FIMFiction and is still in the Top 10 list of my favourite fics. You did a great job characterizing him as well; it's really tough to write a character created by someone other than the show's creators (and yourself, obviously) and have it be good.

Now onto Pineapple Spice himself.

Pineapple is an awesome character. He was well-written, his attitude and reactions to situations made sense, and he was rather hilarious at times. If what you were aiming for was a moderately toned-down male Pinkie Pie, you got it. And his backstory was equally good; I was very close to crying manly tears when I read it all those chapters ago. And then him getting abandoned again by Pinkie a couple chapters ago...let me just say I never got around to crying manly tears because I was so busy crying real ones.

The plot was a simple, yet good one. This was not at all like other OC-shipping fics I've read, where a character just meets up with whoever he likes and the two instantly love each other and it's all sunshine and puppies with no problems. This one actually eased into it and was more realistic (well, as realistic as you can get with talking colourful ponies).

The funny parts made me laugh, the sad parts made me cry, and the heartwarming parts made me d'awww. Being a guest and therefore not having an account, I usually just browse around FIM Fiction for whatever fanfic catches my attention and occasionally navigate back there to read whatever's new. This is one of very few fanfics where I actually bookmarked it in my Favorites tab and checked it every day. To be exact, THREE TIMES a day. That's how much I loved this fic.

It always saddens me when a fic I love ends, because then I know: that's it. No more stories. They go on with life and you don't get to see it, nyah nyah nyah, Trollestia. I can't wait for the sequel. I am bookmarking your profile and checking it every day for as long as it takes for the sequel to be updated. And if at some point in the far future I decide to get off my fat plot and make an account, the first thing I'm doing before even adding an avatar is finding your profile and clicking "Watch". Anything you publish, I will read (clopfics excluded). You have at least one die-hard fan.

Thank you for your contribution to the world of pony fan fiction.

-TLTMAA

A great ending to a great story. Well done my friend.

Wow, I honestly don't know what to say. I'm just a fifteen year old kid that loves MLP: FiM. A die hard fan? Never had one. Your support means a lot to me, and I couldn't ask for better fans than you guys. If you could do me a favor, my friend Stormy Charge is writing a story called 'Just Another Love Story,' and would appreciate some feedback on that. Also, I have a word to say to all the fans out there. Don't be sad that it's over, rather, be happy that it happened. If you want, and if you ever get around to making an account, we could talk about the future of this fic, and where I'm going to tie it into in my next stories. This is the first Fan-fiction I've ever written. Hell, this is the first story I've ever completed, and I couldn't be happier. This was an emotional journey for me because to be honest, I wanted to write this story more than I wanted to eat, sleep, drink, excrete, or breathe. I wanted to test myself, and everypony here kept the fire in my heart alive. Seriously, I was an emotional wreck when I started this story. I had just read Flutterheart, and was in a stated of severe depression. I had to stay home from school to keep myself from breaking down during class. I finally decided to make something of myself, and thought up the idea of the fic we all love, 'Baking Perfect Pie.' I figured, 'what the hell? I might as well do something with my unimportant and meaningless life.' When I saw the feedback with the first chapter, I was astonished.

Let me go back a little further to explain.

I was complaining to my brother one day about not having good ideas for a fan-fiction, and I offered to help. This story was 'Of Chaos and Harmony: The Shadow Of Doubt.' It is on here by moonsire and stormy, now I was gently reject, but continued to press on the fact that I was not ready to give up.

I had convinced my mom to let me stay home one day from an overwhelming state of depression, and I had started working on the outline for BPP. I was at chapter one. Next thing I knew, I was writing all the names of the chapters, and descriptions for what would happen in each one, so I wouldn't forget. Because I forget easily. I had sat down and started writing 'Introductions' on November 30th... I think... I was sucked in immediately. Let me give you the exact description I wrote for the first chapter.


Chapter 1............................................................................. Introduction
Introduce Character, where he comes from, how he got there

That was it. I didn't start pre-writing or anything. I got onto the chapter edit, and just started. That's how I do all of my chapters now. With pony music, headphones, and pure creativity. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm really proud of how this turned out. It's changed my life. Completely. I'm sitting here writing this at 10:09 Christmas night, and I still can't thank you guys enough. I've even thought about making a new channel on YouTube, where I get voice actors to come and read the story with me as a dramatic reading. If that is something that anypony wants to be a part of, let me know. I need all the support you can give. Check my blog for updates about stories and whatnot, and most of all, I hope that you have had a Merry Christmas.

I love you all (no homo) fans!
Kumare Tanamaru :heart::heart::pinkiehappy::heart::heart:



87930

#4 · Dec 26th, 2011 · · ·

88044 I know what it's like to go through a state of depression. I've been in one for over a year, and am just now starting to exit it. Apparently we're similar in the fact that we write stuff to get it all out (and are fifteen-year-old bronies).
I hope to actually make an account soon. If and when I do, I'll message you and we can talk a bit. And I'll definitely check out Stormy Charge! See you in the (hopefully not-too-far) future!

Your support is always appreciated! (also note that Stormy Charge is the one who does all my cover art.) :pinkiesmile:

88146

:pinkiesick: dude i mean mead hes swalowing MEAD hes a pony who turns out to be herbivore it made me think about cupcakes the story you have a sick twisted mind!!... i.. like.it muhahaha:pinkiecrazy:88153

Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I fixed that, sorry for the confusion.

And by the way....... I'm... not doing TwiMac....... :twilightoops: sorry :twilightblush:

89934

Everything I can say about this story, has already been said. Ya done good Kumare. And that's all there is to it. I know there are people who would like a sequel, but if it were up to me, I'd say leave the story as pure as it started and ended. It is a beautiful story and, unless an incredible idea comes along, I would say leave it at that. But these are entirely my thoughts. If you want to write more into this, I will be there to support you.

#9 · Jan 3rd, 2012 · · ·

A very nice story. I've been reading fan-fiction for something like ten years now, and this was the first MLP:FIM story I've felt the need to comment on.

It was quite well written, certainly better than most like it. My only advice to you would be to slow it down just a touch at the beginning. I felt that Pineapple confessing on his welcome party to be a little fast. He barely knew the poor mare after all. Shortly there-after he poured his heart out to the mane 6. But overall I feel you handled it quite well. All of the characters felt correct, and the entire story was quite fluid. I am mildly surprised that Pineapple did not hate his family, considering the fact that they left him in prison for three years and then sent him to flounder in the wilds for another two years. Five years of solitude after an emotionally abusive childhood would be simply awful. It's a wonder Pineapple is so well adjusted. Another interesting note is that while Pineapple found the wings of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy strange, he had no problems with Unicorns. Interesting.

By far, my favorite part was the songs. They fit so well I could easily see them in the show. Really. Great job on that.

I hope you continue writing. You have a knack for it, it seems.

Why thank you! I must admit, I did kind of rush the beginning, but that's only because I wanted to get it out so people could read it. Not to say I only wanted views, but I didn't want to keep people reading on and on and on about little details. Also, I didn't have very many ideas. This is my first Fan-Fiction, and your opinion is greatly appreciated whether it be negative or positive. I accept all criticism because I find that it makes me a better writer. I don't expect the world to take it easy on my story, so by all means tell me what I need to improve. Hopefully, I will take it to heart and make a better story later on down the road. Your time was greatly appreciated! :pinkiehappy:
-Kumare Tanamaru


106484

This is probably one of the best fics I have ever read. It is truly amazing. There really isn't anything for me to criticize. Anyway. I like this story so much that I keep reading it over and over and over and over and over. You get the point right? 5 stars and favorited.

Just wanted to check up and see how everypony's doing~! I'm just going to say now that after I finish maybe one more chapter of The Aura Of Music, I'm going to start the rest of my Shipping fics. Guess who's next?? :twilightsmile:

At the last bit I was just thinking:
'Well this the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down!'

Sorry, no TwiMac.... But I am adding to the stories.
Be prepared for a shiny new era.
289468

Well I have to be honest.It's not the best story Iv'e read, Oh it's very good and all, I even favorited it, but how Pinkie just called off the wedding in a snap kinda made it hard to believe. Also whatever place Pineapple was from just kept screaming 'Wrong'. It felt like you were describing the Soviet Union.
Well other than all that, It was a great story and I liked it.:pinkiehappy:

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