"I must thank you friend. I expected to be in there much longer." Discord said with a cakle.
"Yeah if we stay here your going to the moon." Ash said as his horn glowed
"Come now-" Discord started only to be cut off by a bright light.
When the light faded three foals were knocked out on the ground.
"Look we need to go!" Ashe said as he levitated the foals onto his back.
"Fine..." discord said as he teleported them to the image that Ash was going to teleport to.
The second he appeared there were two screams.
One of joy and one of terror.
"DISCORD!" the two females screeched
Summer tackled him in a hug while Trixie was poised to attack.
"Ahhh.. A female dragoneqqes..." he said happily.
"NIGHT ASHES WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Trixie screamed angrily.
"I only got my sister a love.." he said but instantly covered his mouth.
"Sister???" Trixie asked curiously all terror and anger washed away..
"Our real names are Summer and Ash and we are twin siblings. Because we are actually-" Ash began but was cut off
"Humans. My finest creation of chaos I must say." Discord finished as he was being smothered by Chaos.
"Yeah.. Now Trixs please make three more beds... These three appeared behind us." he said pointing his horn at the foals.
Trixie gasped and was off like a rocket while Ash tried to wake them up.
"Wh......." the lime green unicorn said as she stirred and opened her eyes and let out a scream.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! I HAVE FOUR LEGS?!?! WHAT THE HELL?!" she screamed blinking her milky blue eyes
"Shut up Jade I'm trying to sleep... James your on my tail.. Wait. TAIL?!" the hot pink unicorn filly jumped up
"IM A PONY!!" she screeched as she jumped into the air
The midnight blue pegasus colt stood up and flexed his wings.
"Sweet.. Pony!" he said excitedly.
The two saw there sister and instantly were at her side.
"Hi.. My names Ash and this is Summer." Ash said to the little foals.
"I'm Jade and these two are James and Autumn." Jade said with a smile.
"We had a older bro-"Jade started but was cut off by joyfull yips as Rusty ran to her.
"Rusty!" she said nuzzling her pup.
"As I was saying . We had a older brother named Ash and an older sister named Summer... Ash died of cancer at the same time as Summer." she said
"Well then Jade. I'm your older brother. But I actually took a knife to my wrist." he said
"DISCORD!"
(A random but nessicary bit!)
Katie Story was trotting down a street with Bevca and Patrick.
"Sooo Arrowhawk.... What you want to do today???" Katie asked Patrick with a wink
"I have an idea.... What about you think Glitter Sparkle??" she asked Becca.
"Lets go to the woods. I want to create a radio!!" she exclaimed jumping in the air and Levitating her friends as she ran towards the forest.
I feel your trying to be poetic and deep, but it is completely downplayed by the fact that you have incredibly shoddy writing skills.
Weee I like randomness!
825681
This is my first story.
825685
a like?! This is my first story.. I'm not good at filler.
825736
Me to!!!
825839 My first story has 1 dislike and no other ratings and only like 4 people have read it so far.
Ok... If you don't like it stop commenting
826019
Ash? He's a boy. And went a bit insane. Your talking to some one who loved cupcakes!
825892
Hey, you're actually a great writer! All you need is a bit of help! Your plot is relatively original, the emotion is madness! (in a good way), and your vocab isn't too bad. Don't get down, and like I said. You just need some help. Just gimme a call if you want mine.
826045
Aww.... Thank you!! I'll be sure to give you a ring. It'll probably improve as it goes along.
Hello, I represent the School for New Writers group here on Fimfiction and would like to make the suggestion that you join. There is no obligation and any of the large number of experienced writing professors would be glad to help you out.
825892
Don't worry about dislikes and that, writing is meant to be personal. Also, look at my first story it has 13 dislikes and 1 like, I wasn't disheartened and decided to try again and my new story has over 50 likes now. The important thing is to never give up or be stopped by bad experiences.
826063
One question (I ask pretty much everyone this.) Are you per chance British? I need to find more Bronies in my area.
826071
Nope- but I don't know any bronies off of the Internet.
826070
That helped a lot- thanks!
826068
I think I'll look at it!
826071
I'm British! I never find other British bronies, nice to meet you.
I have a question- what does that little eye represent?