I enjoy video games, reading, writing, relaxing, long walks on the beach, mass genocide, sipping piƱa coladas, and the small things in life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Forgot Changelings...or whatever you can call them now...Just mentioning? Of course this depends what time frame you're aiming this at (no-one ever puts when their story relates to canon, e.g. Stardate 4175.26.25 Cptn Kirk's private diary recording) Could use LR(Luna's Return) +or- so many years?
7658910 I didn't forget about either.
7658972 One. Yes.
Two. Marvel. Takes place with my own universe.
A plot washer you silly filly!
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/5/32863/medium.png
Voting ratio seems weird unless it was really bad and then you edited, or people are REALLY put off by the infodump in the first chapter...
Please continue.
7659354 Thanks. i will. Negative votes and comments haven't stopped me before, comrade.
7659354 It was the dialogue and unlikable OCs for me. Don't know about the other down-votes though.
7659789 I like how you still gave it a read even after disliking another story of mine.
I read what appears on the front page.
7658972 Three. Found an editor. Had to tie them up and gag them. . . wait. . . that's just a fantasy of mine. Nevermind. I found a comrade to help with my stories and I value their input highly.
Moth?
1) she's a weird kind of pegasus?
2) should be mother
3) should be aunt
Missed her opportunity of a tickle war!
Oh yeah, nearly forgot does that make her a Tricera-STROPS! (pun at no extra charge) or a Triocorn?
7668553 Shade isn't reformed enough for tickle wars and tricorns.
7668706 She has tricerastrops down pat though.
7668758 Tricorn, comrade, or she'll stab you in your sleep.
7668783 If it's 3 stabs I'll know it's her!
7668935 Or Death.
7668952 I'm a rock, what's death?
7668958 The perpetual state of being molten or being turned into sand?
7668964 Sand can get in places ya don't wanna know, also...lava bombs!
7668981 lol Lava bombs!
7669012 Was already an igneous rock so have been there before.
That pink pony's a real beauty! I'm gonna read this fic now.
7673141 lol Great!
I wonder if Death likes spiders?
Grammar and spelling needs some work, particularly on the more recent chapters. You start changing the tense around, and I found it rather disorienting. Some of the dialogue is kind of odd as well, and the first chapter contains way too much information that the reader really doesn't need.
Other than that, this story perplexes me.
There are a lot of elements to it that I shouldn't like, particularly with the protagonist. You've got ridiculous names like Nightshade Toxin and Deathly Belladonna which sound like they're from straight outta fifth-grade, the protagonist has dead parents, an outlook on life that screams "Help me, help me! I buy all my clothes from Hot Topic and have daddy issues!", and to top it all off the two protagnists are literal gods.
But for some reason, it kind of works?
I don't know how, but you managed to keep me interested for all five chapters, that's not an easy task to accomplish. With that I don't mean interested as in "Wow, I wonder how the author can possibly make it go even more downhill next chapter.", but interested as in "I actually want to know what happens in the next chapter.".
I think it's partly due to the odd kind of duality you have with the two protagonists: the edgelord and the goofball. There's an interesting chemistry with how they interact and how their personalities clash harder than the Titanic and icebergs.
I can't really come to a conclusion about how I feel about this story, but I wouldn't be opposed to seeing it evolve and improve further. There is something of a foundation here, you just need to do something with it.
7780810 The best criticism I have received in a long time. Thank you.
I wanted to try something different with Shade. In my other writings I have her become evil, become an antihero, have her solve galactic problems, but never focus on her problems and her complex relationship with her parents and Death.
I haven't delved into Death or Shade's psychology before and I want to bring out their history.
I will try to address the issues you have pointed out.
She sure knows how to pick her friends. (Not sure if it needs the her or not.)
7791190 Death loves spiders. Spiders were created by her favorite sister for Death.
I totally did not just make that up.
Just an FYI: I try to focus on one story for two months so I will be updating BRURU:TDAAE mainly January with My Little Operator thrown in.
I haven't forgotten about my other stories.
Nice chapter.
7795421 Thank you.
Aww, I hope Shade can rediscover her true self.
7796401 Me too, comrade.
Welding goggles n Equestria?
7798079 Don't think too hard about it, comrade, just accept it.
I think sunset just got scarred for life..
7798316 That was the point. No spoilers today, unless you give me ten dollars American.
7798278
From ch1
I thought Deathly was a unicorn?
This is still my favourite multiple horned pony...
pre07.deviantart.net/8533/th/pre/f/2014/312/7/7/big_sis_by_mixermike622-d85rsd5.png
7798440 Nope. Her mane usually hides her smaller horns, which are significantly smaller than Shade's.
7798440 Tricorn nubs get smaller as the primary horn grows.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Dang...popped a fuse...now where's that fuse box?
Really not liking the ipad publishing.
Gotta do what I gotta do.
I through she had hooves
7807236 vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/4/49/Pinkie_Pie_grew_fingers_S3E3.png/revision/latest?cb=20121127061039
7807423 cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder751/54490751.jpg
7807544 Epic.
interesting, so they are the aliens from xcom. The orange blood gave it away. That or they are demons but you know, I am not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!
7813652
You funny,
off (x2)
kerosene
I sure hope that's 'her' or this is nasty......
http://www.thehorse.com/articles/14124/ear-teeth
7813652