Aspiring writer, self-proclaimed hardcore gamer, adept of human psychology. Does not consider excessive pride for a vice.
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When Roseluck stumbles upon a creature that is half pony and half danger noodle, it is up to her wits and quick thinking to escape its hypnotic clutches.
This story is a lighter take on the idea presented in The Rose and the Serpent by Gulheru.
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Hello and welcome to The Rose and the Snek!
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I say that parody is the smoothest form of screwing with other people – which, incidentally, is exactly what I want to do in regard to the author of the original (linked in the description) by publishing this parody-alternate-take-fix-thingy. Disclaimer: I consider myself allowed, neigh, expected to do things like that because he and I go way back IRL. Reading the original is not required, but should provide for an interesting experience nonetheless (as in "one idea, two different takes, pick your poison").
Please enjoy, but for the love of Celestia, don't treat it too seriously!
7760359
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200615/anti-depression-ponies/thread/284372/coot-snek-wants-to-cuddle-you-and-be-your-frand
I think you can see why I appreciate this story.
7760369
You know what they say - it's not the skin that makes a reptile, it's the snek underneath!
7760433
Out of curiosity, which pic's your fav?
7760446
The one with a top hat. So classy.
I love danger noodles.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/115/017/6cd.jpg
Fucking called it.
Also if you hadn't already earned it, you would have gotten a upvote and fav for that alone.
Needs more booplesnoots.
I love this.
I very much love this.
What set yours above the rest was the deep knowledge interjected everywhere.
The title on this alone makes me like it. And the story was fun. All around most fun
I HAVE ONLY ONE QUESTION... what's a danger noodle?! i was laughing for almost five minutes when i read those words... i'm a little ashamed of my childishness now.
7761245
cdn77.sadanduseless.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/danger-noodle.jpg
7761245
Also known as a snek (or snake, if you're in a more serious mood), the danger noodle can come in many different colors and sizes, although the general shape is long, like a... you guessed it, noodle. Some of these creatures can be dangerous, hence the term 'danger noodle'.
This story was top snek
I loved it! Great parody.
Snek, danger noodle... are you from 9gag?
It should say dianthus caryophylus not dianthus moschatus
7761265
7761270
Ah ok... makes more sense now. but i was laughing pretty hard earlier, i think i need to get checked for some bizarre laughing sickness of something then.
Maybe a blue anaconda? I dunno, it was pretty good.
I'm not sure how much of it was derivative, but I thought that was a superb take on Roseluck!
Good story, made me laugh!
It was a ittle slow at the start, though I'm not sure how you could fix that, as you have to have some sort of build up.
I think I like yours better.
... and it's featured. Prane, you magnificent scoundrel. Nice job!
Poor Azariusss just can't catch a break. But at least he got some advice!
This definitely made my evening.
7761345
Isn't snek just an internet thing as opposed to a 9gag thing? Like, I definitely see it on reddit which is probably why it appears on 9gag.
7760987
This one looks hecking dangerous, I wouldn't want to meet it in a cave.
7761065
Thank you! I only hope there were enough hints in the narrative so that the "reveal" doesn't seem cheap.
7760952
And danger noodles love you!
7761070
Sorry, booplesnoots aren't coming at least until after Roseluck has had her encounter with giraffe sheep and majestic sea flap flaps!
7761147
Thank you for saying that, but to what deep knowledge are you referring?
7761207
I think the silly title did its job, seeing that you've read the story. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it!
Very cute, also that ending, dafuq!? XD
7761933
I don't know. I've been on reddit a few time and I never saw anything about it.
7761245
I see that the helpful folk already answered your question, so I'll just say to never be ashamed of your inner kid! You remember that time when walking on curbs, a little over the lava of the street was really exciting? For me, it should have stopped being that, like, fifteen years ago. It never has.
7761325
Thanks! I think I'm too soft on the characters, so when I read about Roseluck losing her mind, I simply had to write something in which she comes up on top.
7761345
I am somewhat versed with the traditions. I use bananas for scale, I universally hate non-metric measuring systems, I know when it's appropriate to use the sausage gif or get triggered. Also - since I ultimately feel that the chapter was a bit too lengthy - sorry for the long story, here's a...
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1f/fe/14/1ffe1432d7637f38de54913e96aac6de.jpg
*flies away*
7761395
This source says the latter is taxonomically synonymous with the former. I guess D. caryophyllus would be more accurate, though. By the way - were you checking out the flowers while reading the story or do you have background in botany?
7761485
Blue anaconda? I'll take it! Also I'm glad you enjoyed my Roseluck as this was my first time writing her (though I have to admit, I never thought the best earth pony would debut in such a silly story - I even feel bad for not treating her with proper respect).
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fark/images/0/04/Dont_step_on_snek_pls.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160325032224
7761695
Thanks for coming! Like you're saying, I wanted to include some exposition to those who didn't read the original. I hope it wasn't too tiring to go through.
ok wait
danger noodle
wtf i'm not a fan of snakes but danger noodle ?
I have not even read the story yet just read the description and I am already laughing
7761851
Thank you! But it wasn't really a competition, nothing of sorts.
7761888
"It's a sssingle 'sss', for sssnek's sssake!"
7761856
I can and I will confirm the magnificent part, thank you very much.
7762161
That was Roseluck's first thought, too. But then, completely enchanted, she found herself stepping lightly between the rays of gentle moonlight seeping through the foliage, and towards the sumptuous table soaked in the light of a thousand and one candles where a perfect gentlewolf was already baring its teeth in a kind, inviting smile...
7762175
r/Sneks - for all your slithering needs.
7762275
That's a snek alright! Boop!
Is it bad that I wanted him to go back to town after her? That's appropriately cheesily romantic, right? Because if the danger noodle way- *snicker* -is only giving you grief, maybe try another?
7761345 most "9gag" memes and references are actually reddit or 4chan ones. 9gag is well known for history of stealing reddit/imgur/4chan/etc content then editing submission dates/changing titles/removing watermarks to deny it.
7763061 I think this story's Snekkiness level is probably Snek Tiddies
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/xcom/images/3/3f/Viper@2x.png/revision/latest?cb=20160325214434
7763106
Oh, that would be cheesy enough! But being a hypnotic danger noodle is the only way he's ever learned as far as I know, though thanks to brave Roseluck he might consider shedding his past and finding a better way of life. In due time, his and Rose's paths may cross, but probably never join - and yet they will be both content with their choices.
7762483
Ouch, this one looks like he has been already stepped on. Quite possibly ran over by a road roller, too!
7762588
I can only hope that you didn't faint of excessive laughter and read the story in the end.
7763143
I've now encountered three stories with hypnotic danger noodles- *snicker* -and in every one, the half-danger noodle- *snicker* -goes/stays away. You've got me wanting to read a Danger Noodle- *snicker* -in Equestria story now...
How good was this story?
My anaconda don't want none unless it's Rose-flanked son.
"Well buck me!" Roseluck swore.
"If you insist," the conveniently talking timberwolf smirked.
And so they pollinated.
I would less call it parody than a deconstruction, but it works as that, too.
It's amusing, but it seems to take a while to hit it's stride, as well. I think it finally really grabbed my attention by about 1400 words in by a combination of being either too similar to the original or way too over the top, but by about the 1400 word point - the speech impediment line - it became much funnier and smoother.
But I'm iffy on the Spike interlude. I was half waiting for Big Macintosh to be playing either one instead of focusing on the peach, but that's mostly because of "Dungeons and Discords".
7763212
Why, you seem to really love that snake-to-pasta euphemism, don't you?
7763300
I guess it was alright, then. Good to hear and thanks for dropping by!
7764186
Dinner comes first!
7764217
That's some excellent feedback, thanks! I suppose that the story felt slow in the beginning because you were already familiar with the setup (the reason the characters are there, the look and feel of the cave and so on) - obviously the extended exposition was there for new readers and the ~1000-ish mark is where the story actually starts. A little late, now that I think about it.
As for the Dungeons & Discords - I wouldn't really know, haven't seen any of S6.
Once again, thank you for dropping by, I appreciate it.
7764450
"Danger Noodle" is hilariously descriptive, ludicrous yet bizarrely accurate, and amazingly cute all at the same time. I think I'm going to laugh at every snake I see for the rest of my life.
7763061 Oh for the love of all things cheesily holy! >.<
XD
7764602
Just don't laugh too hard. They have feelings, too!
Dat timberwolf.
7765875
He's a perfectly adequate companion, you know. That bouquet of flowers he was holding? I like to think that he meant them for someone else, some lady timberwolf, perhaps. But yet, heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with!
7762333
I kept stopping to google flowers so I could get an idea of what was being said