Scrawled on the Back of a Sea Chart

by MrAskAPirate

Siren Short #1: They Really Are the Worst

Author's Note:

Tags for this chapter: Sunset Shimmer, Adagio Dazzle, Equestria Girls, Comedy

Originally posted on my blog, the 'Siren Shorts' were a series of quick little glimpses into the backstory of everyone's favorite bad girls, the Dazzlings. These are set in the same continuity as The Friend I Couldn't Be (and later The Pain I Won't Forget), and this one in particular takes place during TFICB, specifically while Sunset is listening to Adagio talk about her past in the coffee shop.

That said, you don't really need to have read either story in order to enjoy this short if you have a passing knowledge of Rainbow Rocks or the Sirens in particular.

Sunset shook her head in disbelief. "So you're saying that the three of you have been behind every major conflict in Western society for the past thousand years?"

"Pretty much," Adagio nodded.

"... I don't buy it," Sunset crossed her arms, drawing a smirk from Adagio.

"Try me."

Sunset pursed her lips, studying the siren. "Okay, fine. How about... the Medieval Crusades?"

"What, all nine of them? That was the first time we tried to take over the world... and the second... and the third... and... well, you get the idea." She rolled her eyes. "Ugh, but you can only put up with religious zealots for so long before you want strangle them yourself."

"All right... the Hundred Years War?"

"Oh, honey, you're talking to Roan of Arc," Adagio laughed. "How do you think one young girl managed to convince every single Prench nobleman on up to the Dauphin himself that she was receiving visions from God?"

She flourished her hands at her shoulders and sang a single, somewhat off-key note.

"Speaking of, thank God that Aria and Sonata were able to find a girl that resembled me and hypnotize her into taking my place in that Bittish prison... barbecued siren is not a food I want to try."

"Ugh, that's gross," Sunset frowned, but she was too determined to stop now. "Neighpoleonic wars."

"That one was going fine until Shorty McPompouspants decided to break the 'look; don't touch' rule."

"The Amareican Revolution."

"We were in Boston and Aria suddenly decided that tea was the worst thing ever. End of story," Adagio shrugged.

"Amareican Civil War?"

"Sonata felt bad for the slaves."

"World War II!" Sunset exclaimed, her patience wearing thin.

Adagio's grin fell away. She stared straight ahead, her eyes more or less locked with Sunset's own, but the former unicorn got the distinct impression that the siren wasn't seeing her at all. Sunset shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and a moment later Adagio shook her head briskly.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Sunset nodded and let it drop.

"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this... you're sitting here telling me that all the terrible things that humanity has done; all the hatred and fighting and grudges and... blood feuds were all because of you?"

"Well, no, not everything," Adagio admitted. "I'm sure there's at least one or two that we had nothing to do with."

"Like what?"

Adagio opened her mouth but hesitated, clapping it shut a moment later as she looked off to one side. Sunset's eyebrows rose and she could've sworn she could hear the gears grinding in the siren's head.

"... Yankees vs. Red Sox?" Adagio finally offered, scrunching her face up with uncertainty.

Sunset's head hit the table so hard that her coffee cup nearly rattled off its saucer.

Comments

[NaiadSagaIotaOar]

You need to continue this. Every single one of Adagio's lines was pure gold.
Every. Single. One.

[ShadowLDrago]

Sunset's head hit the table so hard that her coffee cup nearly rattled off its saucer.

Glorious!

[Emerald Harp]

7655267
7654609

I agree with what these cats . . . also your tremors story was pretty good too.